With the Britney Spears song “1, 2, 3” running through my brain, I started wondering if threesomes have grown in popularity since the song hit the top 20. Most guys have the dream, whether they admit it or not. If he has testosterone coursing through his veins, chances are he wants to see you with another girl.

If you’re amenable to the suggestion, it’s not an impossible dream at all. And I don’t doubt Britney’s song sparked a few discussions on the topic. But there are four things you absolutely must have for a successful threesome.

1. A third person.

Where can you find another girl (or perhaps even another guy) to engage in a threesome? You have a few choices… Many websites are devoted to swingers, where you can find other people in your area to hook up with. You can hunt down swinger parties in your region, where you’ll meet interesting people, make friends, and hopefully find a third. If “blind dating” of this sort is not your style, you can approach friends, which carries a unique set of challenges.

If you have a friend, you’re going to face the person afterward — whether the night was a success or not. As in any kind of sexual encounter, lots of things can go wrong, including one person feeling neglected. You may also feel as if your relationship is threatened — especially if your partner and your friend had a close friendship previously. After all, the mix of close friendship, intimacy and sex has the makings of a potential relationship. Are you confident enough to recognize that the sex and the friendship can remain as separate elements? (And if not, you may want to reconsider the idea of a threesome at all). Is each party mature enough to recognize the difference between love and lust?

Many threesomes between friends work out very well, and can actually be a beautiful way to strengthen your friendship. But first, consider whether or not you’ll feel “weird” facing the person the next morning.

On the other hand, sex with a stranger or someone you meet through the swinger lifestyle can be illicit, exciting and lots of fun. The big problem is you really don’t know what you’re getting into and sex with a stranger may make you uncomfortable.

2. Lots of confidence.
Before you enter a threesome with your partner, you’ll need to be secure in several ways. You’ll want to believe in the strength of your relationship and understand that sex is fun, but it doesn’t mean he’s going to run off and marry the “third.”

You also need to have a healthy dose of self-confidence in your body. You don’t want to worry that he’s constantly comparing you (unfavorably!) to the other woman.

Finally, you need to understand the give-and-take of a sexual relationship. Sometimes, the emphasis will be on her, sometimes on you, and sometimes on both of you. Sometimes it will shift so you’re both focusing on him. One of the fantastically fun things about a threesome is the different possibilities it presents for sexual acts and positions.

3. Ground rules.
Perhaps you’re perfectly comfortable with him watching while you get it on with your best friend, but there are certain parts of him you don’t want to share. That’s fine, but discuss it beforehand and be honest. Also let the third person know your ground rules — they may have a few of their own.

If someone crosses a line (maybe the possibility wasn’t discussed because you didn’t think of it, or maybe someone got swept up in the heat of the moment), gently and playfully guide them in another direction. As long as you’re nice about it — and create an equally steamy diversion — no one should mind.

4. Condoms.
It’s a good idea for all parties to get tested for sexually-transmitted diseases beforehand and present a clean bill of health. But even if you do, any sex with a non-monogamous, regular partner should involve condoms. If the guy in a threesome switches between girls, he should change the condom each time to prevent the exchange of fluids. You may want to consider dental dams for  oral sex, as well.

While women often have hang-ups about their looks, especially in the bright light conditions required for a photo shoot, I don’t know of any man alive who doesn’t drool at the thought of his lover memorialized in semi-compromising, or simply sexy, positions.

Case in point: I recently complained to a male friend of mine that my hair had gotten way too long and I wouldn’t be appearing in any photos until I got it cut.

“Ooh, sexy,” he replied. “More to grab onto.”

See what I mean?

So, ladies, set aside your inhibitions and give your man a special treat – let him take your picture – over and over again. We’re ready here at Vibrator.com with tips to get over your shyness and look your best!

Take it slow.
Don’t want to pose in your birthday suit the first time out? Totally understandable. Start with an outfit that makes you feel good – from a business suit to a little black dress. Then unbutton a few buttons, life the hemline or pull down a strap, and take it from there. Fully-clothed can be just as sexy as seeing all nine yards. The key is to be comfortable.

Use appropriate lighting.
Flashes are decidedly unsexy. Better DSLR cameras let you adjust the F-stop to let in more light, so you can take photos in low light conditions without a flash. But that’s getting too technical for most people, who might be using a point-and-shoot digital camera. (Did you zone out when I said f-stop?)
If possible, take photos in natural daylight… but don’t stand next to the window. There’s an obvious reason for that (unless you’re an exhibitionist) but there’s an artistic reason, as well. Light creates harsh shadows, and, in most cases, harsh shadows on a model’s face (and the curves of her body) is decidedly unsexy. Instead, use a reflector – a white card, white sheet, shiny metallic surface or a mirror to reflect light from the original source. Keep the light source in front of the model.

Pose at an angle.
Professional models and Hollywood superstars use this technique all time. Never stand straight ahead facing the camera. Instead, stand partially sideways, with one foot in front of the other. Point your toe toward the camera, putting your weight on your back foot. For a sexy glance, look slightly away from the camera, or look up at the camera to show off big bedroom eyes. Don’t be afraid to suck in your stomach and puff out your chest – but not too much! Experiment with different poses until you find your favorites – we promise the photographer won’t mind!

Employ the rule of thirds.
This doesn’t have anything to do with threesomes (although I highly recommend them to make a photo shoot even more interesting!) When you take a picture, divide what you can see into nine equal parts (think tic-tac-toe board). The photo’s main subject should fall on or near one of the intersections of those lines to create maximum interest. Do not place the subject in the dead center of the photo.

Frame the shot.
The setting helps to make the picture. Sure, all eyes will be on you (should you choose to show the photos to anyone at all) but pay attention to what’s in the background. It’s all about setting the scene.

Some sexy props to include on camera? A bed with sexy red sheets and rose petals. Sex toys. A carefully arranged plate of fruit, especially strawberry, bananas, mango and papaya. Porn movies on a flat screen. If you get really brave, play with the sex toys, teasing at penetration… or go all the way if you feel inclined.

Most importantly, relax, do whatever feels comfortable, and have fun. Remember, every digital camera has a delete button.

Yes, yes, we know. Valentine’s Day is a commercialized, “Hallmark” holiday. It’s all about the chocolate and roses. The overcrowded restaurants. And let’s not think about all that pressure to find the perfect gift and create the perfect experience so you don’t wind up in the dog house until spring.

Relax. Let’s look at Valentine’s Day in a different light.

As our lives get busy, we often don’t take time to think about the things that really matter, like the person we love. It’s important to spend grown-up, one-on-one time together, getting back in touch with the personality aspects that brought us together as a couple in the first place. And Valentine’s Day gives us the perfect excuse to do just that.

So why not ditch the crowded restaurants and skip the overpriced roses this year and focus on pampering your lover in a variety of low-cost ways? Here are some suggestions to celebrate Valentine’s Day on a budget.

Romantic dinner at home. For about ¼ of the price of a restaurant meal, you can enjoy filet mignon, lobster tails, or your choice of culinary indulgence right at home. Make sure to include foods with aphrodisiac properties, http://blog.vibrator.com/do-aphrodisiacs-exist.html like oysters and asparagus. For dessert? Fresh strawberries dipped in dark chocolate.

Visit the place where you first met or had your first date. What better way to get in touch with the person you fell in love with than to go back to those hangouts from your early dating days? You can re-enact your first date, or pay a visit to the bar, park or store where you first met. If you met in a more unique location, even better! When you get there, spend some time talking about what first attracted you to each other.

This thought crossed my mind the other day and I thought it would be fun. Unfortunately, if my husband and I were to go back to the site of our first date – a casual but classy locally-owned restaurant and grill – we’d wind up at an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet. It’s a shame, really.

Sexy photo album
Put together a racy photo album for his-or-her eyes only. You can use a service like Snapfish.com or Shutterfly to put together the photo album digitally, or buy an inexpensive photo album and photo prints. If you’re afraid of facing the kid behind the counter at CVS, you can print them yourself. (Highly recommended!)

Start off with some fun, fully-clothed photos of you and your sweetie having good times, and let the photos get sexier and sexier with each page, until you’re giving your guy the full “Hustler” view.

The coupon book of his (or her) dreams. Make your lover’s fantasies come true. The X-Rated Hugs and Kisses coupon book provides plenty of fun suggestions. Or you can make your own – don’t forget to leave one coupon as a “fill-in-the-blank,” so your lover can redeem it for something you may not have thought about!

Enjoy one of your favorite hobbies together. Couples that play together — play together after hours, too. If you’re like most couples, you and your Valentine probably have plenty of common interests… and too little time to pursue them all. Reserve February 14 to pursue a hobby you both love – perhaps something you haven’t done together in a while.

Keep up the tradition after Valentine’s Day, too, taking at least one day or weekend a month to bond over your favorite sports, games or interests.

Yikes! We have less than two weeks until Valentine’s Day. If you’re like many of us, you’ve just finished (or started) paying off the bills from Christmas. But Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be about spending a lot of money. Take time to show your lover you really care by giving them the oh-so-important gifts of your time and undivided attention.

Add a few toys from Vibrator.com to make your playtime on Valentine’s Day evening more fun and you’ve got the recipe for a successful holiday celebration. Order now to get delivery by Valentine’s Day.

We’ve compiled a list of our favorite Valentine’s Day picks for every budget. You’ll find the perfect present in every category, and we’ve selected a “steal” and a “splurge” for each one. Whether you want to spend a little or a lot, we’ve got you covered. (Or, um, not covered very much at all, as the case may be… make sure to check out the lingerie!)

Gift Sets

The Steal: Basket of Love: Looking to create a steamy night and still have money left over for champagne? This gift set comes in an adorable red basket and contains massage lotion, Hot Stuff warming massage oil, incense cones to set the mood, edible body paint to play with, and Spanish Fly sex drops to enhance the most romantic night of the year – all for under $20.

The Splurge: Lover’s Choice Enchanted Evening Kit: Everything about this gift set exudes luxury, including the classy box it comes packaged in. Best of all, what is more quintessentially Valentine’s Day than rose petals, champagne flutes, candles and chocolate? Splurge on this kit and you’re all set, with very berry warming massage oil, cocoalicious chocolate body paint (and a paintbrush) glass champagne flutes, scented silk rose petals and four tealights. Plus a guide book with some creative ideas for ways to spend your night.

Vibrators

The Steal: Doc Johnson’s Candy Ripples: Candy and Valentine’s Day just go together. For only $13, Doc Johnson’s 6.5-inch textured Candy Ripples vibrator will leave you with enough left over to splurge on some chocolate in a heart-shaped box, as well. This vibrator comes in a choice of three iridescent colors perfect for Valentine’s Day: Hot Pink, Purple Passion and Ivory Drop.

The Splurge: Lelo INA: You can’t go wrong with any of Lelo’s line of  ergonomically designed luxury vibrators. But we especially like the  INA, a dual-action, rabbit-style vibrator with two motors for the ultimate control. (And what lady doesn’t love being in control?) INA features eight variable stimulation modes, and comes in a gift box and satin pouch. Super-silent vibrations last up to 4 hours after a 2-hour charge. If you’re looking for a sex toy that says “class,” look no further than INA.

Toys for the Guys

The Steal: Dr. Joel Kaplan’s Prostate Massager: Priced at just $20, this slim prostate massager offers all the features of more expensive toys.  It’s waterproof, multi-speed, and perfectly shaped for easy prostate stimulation.  At this price, can spring for the extra large bottle of lube, too.

The Splurge: Aneros Helix: If your man has never experienced the joys of prostate massage, make this Valentine’s Day a very memorable “first” for him. And you may as well start him out with one of the best – the Anerox Helix. The only toy of its kind with a patented design, the Aneros Helix provides hands-free anal pleasure for the beginner or novice – alone or with a partner.

Lingerie

The Steal: Sweet Afterthought Babydoll w/ Thong: We love this sexy white and oh-so-revealing baby doll top with matching g-string thong. He’ll know he’s not an afterthought in your mind when you greet him at the door in this sexy ensemble.

Another Deal: Roses are Red Babydoll w/ Thong: We also couldn’t resist, for just a few dollars more, this white babydoll sleepwear set with satin bow and ribbon hem details. It includes a matching thong and a bag of red rose pedals to set the Valentine’s Day mood.

The Splurge: Peek-a-boo set w/ bows: We admit, the lingerie at Vibrator.com is so reasonably priced, it was a challenge to find a splurge! Whatever you choose, you’ll find a deal, with most items $25 and under. Spend just a little bit more, though, and treat someone special to this 3-piece mesh peek-a-boo set with bows. Or buy it for yourself and let your significant other “unwrap” you for Valentine’s Day.

Before the holidays, the Northeast suffered what some people have called the largest snow storm to hit our region in 17 years.  It’s already shaping up to be a long, cold winter.

Of course, the forecast of a blizzard sent people rushing to Wal-mart to stock up on bottled water, batteries, and canned goods. I was lucky enough to grab the last container of milk off the grocery store shelf – not because I was stockpiling, but because I happened to be out of milk. And there was a sale on bread, which explains the six loaves in my freezer. But that’s neither here nor there.

Really… why do people stockpile odd things in the event of a storm? And if we have a power outage, how do they plan to cook all that Campbell’s Chunky soup? I hope they remembered the propane for their camp stove. Wait, what?! Camp stove? You see my point.

Now, your resident blogger and erstwhile survivalist, Desiree Sweet, is here to share the things you REALLY need to stock up on. Because what fun is a snow day unless you can spend it tucked inside where it’s nice and warm?

Four Things Every Sexy Survivalist Needs

Condoms – You don’t want to trudge to the gas station in the middle of a blizzard because you’re down to your last condom, do you? We like this variety pack from Trojan, featuring three each of the Ultra Pleasure, Her Pleasure, and Pleasure Mesh varieties.

How many do you need? First, calculate approximately how many times you have sex each week. Remember, you need a new condom each time you have intercourse, and plan to use two to three times as many as usual during a snow storm or long weekend.

Condoms typically expire about 4 years from the date of production, so you can safely store a year’s supply as long as you remember to rotate your stock. When you buy a new box, place it toward the back of your supply. Older condoms should go in the front and be used first.

Lubricants – Different sex toys and condom materials require different lubricants. For instance, silicone toys should only be used with water-based lubricants. For bath fun, you’ll want a silicone lubricant, since water-based lubricants wash off too easily in the water and don’t provide enough staying power. Keep the following varieties of lube on hand for snowy day adventures:

-    Silicone lubricant – For use with most sex toys, except silicone varieties.
-    Water-based lubricant – For silicone toys
-    Massage oils - Not a lubricant but still important to have for full-body massages after your lover shovels the driveway
-    Warming lubricants - Perfect for those cold winter nights

According to the experts at Cosmopolitan magazine, most lubricants don’t have an expiration date, but it’s smart to use them within a year. I wouldn’t stockpile more than one or two bottles of each variety. Store your lubricants in a cool, dry place and give a quick sniff and look-over before you use them. If anything seems funky, toss it and reach for your back-up bottle.

Batteries – Fortunately, most vibrators are battery-powered, so you can enjoy your toys even in an electrical outage. But you don’t want to steal batteries from your flashlight (or vice versa) during the big storm. Make sure you have plenty of C and AA batteries available (the most common types for most vibes). Rechargable batteries, obviously, are the green solution, but make sure they’re fully charged before the storm hits.

Something to clean up – I love this “after sex towel” but if your power’s out, you won’t be doing laundry. Keep plenty of these in your linen closet, or simply have plenty of tissues on hand for clean up. Perhaps this is where all that bottled water comes in handy.

Rest easy, now that you’re all set for the next sex-filled snow day.

Image is of the F. Y. N. Adult Toybox XL Faux Leather Case courtesy of For Your Nymphomation.

The results of our FREE Order Giveaway are in!  One lucky winner from Fountainville, PA will receive their full order + shipping on us!

The winner purchased the iTap Egg:  a brand new toy from CalExotics that has been generating a lot of  “buzz”.

Thank you to everyone who participated and congratulations to our winner.  Please look out for more promotional offers this year, including more giveaways!

Best Regards,

The Vibrator.com Marketing Team

Since the g-spot was discovered in 1950 by German gynecologist Dr. Ernst Grafenberg it’s been the subject of studies, supposition, sex tips and dispute. In 1982, Beverly Whipple wrote the international bestseller The G Spot and Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality, giving the g-spot its name and newfound fame.

For years, Grafenberg and Whipple were taken at their word. Yes, women have a g-spot. It is a pleasure center and the source of vaginal (as opposed to clitoral) orgasms. But then researchers began poking around. Does the g-spot really exist?

The Finding of the G-Spot
Two years ago, The Journal of Sexual Medicine published the results of a study by an Italian research team that seemed to reveal  evidence of the g-spot’s existence. The researchers studied 20 women by means of a questionnaire and an ultrasound, and spotted a physiological difference between women who achieve vaginal orgasms and those who do not.

A media frenzy ensued. Magazine headlines read “How to find the g-spot!” Sales of specially-shaped g-spot vibrators spiked.

Women (and their partners) embarked on a quest more challenging than that of the Holy Grail. (Those who’ve read Dan Brown’s DaVinci Code know what an apt analogy that really is.) And women who, after much experimentation, still could not find their g-spot were left feeling somewhat inadequate. If only they had known…

What is the g-spot?
The g-spot is believed to be a quarter-sized (some say nickel-sized) spot of tissue about 1/3 of the way up the vaginal wall on the anterior side (toward the belly). Stimulation of this spot in some women leads to intense orgasms and, sometimes, female ejaculation.

Researchers at the University of L’Aquila found through ultrasound that women who experience vaginal orgasm are statistically more likely to have thicker tissue in this area of the vagina, lending credence to the existence of an actual, physical g-spot.

The Latest Findings
Not so, say the latest findings, also published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.
Granted, the 2008 research was on flimsy ground. The  research group was too small.  The research methods were faulty.  The evidence was inconclusive.

The new study, which surveyed 902 sets of twins, discovered the g-spot actually does not exist…

Um. Come again?

Since identical twins are genetically identical, if one claimed to have a g-spot, the other would be likely to, as well. This was not the case. The survey findings, according to the researchers, suggest there is no genetic basis for the existence of the g-spot.

However, in the same study, 56 % of the women said they do, in fact, have a g-spot.  The researchers say environmental and psychological factors may contribute to certain women having intense orgasms when this area is stimulated.

Does it matter?
After the 2008 study was released, some women may have felt inadequate if they (or their lover) could not find their g-spot. This latest study may assuage those concerns. You can’t find it because it doesn’t exist.

But what about those of us who know, in fact, that Good Things happen when something (a finger, a vibrator…) stimulates that spot about 1 to 3 inches up in the vagina? Are we the crazy ones now?

It’s quite possible, as Greg Laden points out in his science blog, that the g-spot exists but has no basis in genetics. It could also mean that every woman does, in fact, have a g-spot but the 44 % of women who said they didn’t have one simply haven’t been able to find theirs.

While the most recent study uses a larger sampling than the 2008 study, the research methods still aren’t the most reliable. Sex educator Dr. Petra Boynton, in her blog “Where Have All the G-Spots Gone,” does  a wonderful job tearing apart the study, so I’ll let her have at it.

Meanwhile, my thoughts…

Don’t stop looking
Perhaps all women have this spot (sometimes thought to be urethral sponge) but not all women have the same response when it is stimulated. After all, every woman varies in what she likes. Some women don’t like direct clitoral stimulation. Other women can orgasm simply from having their nipples played with.

Even the same woman, on a different day, may enjoy different sexual pleasures. And the same thing that turned her on one night may be downright painful the next. (Sorry, guys… that’s what makes us so intriguing!)

If you’re in that percentage of women who has not yet found your g-spot, I encourage you to continue the hunt, regardless of what this week’s scientific study says.

Just don’t pursue your search at the expense of other sexual pleasures. After all, the more you explore your body, alone or with a lover, the more ways you will discover to orgasm.

And for those women who know beyond a doubt their g-spot exists, might I suggest buying it a special toy?

It’s the first full week of the New Year. That means it’s not too late to make a New Year’s Resolution! I hope no one has actually broken any of theirs yet, unless they were the kind meant to be broken. (Like giving up sex in 2010… definitely a bad idea!)

So, dear readers, what are your New Year’s Resolutions? I’m sure we have the lion’s share of “quit smoking,” “lose weight” and (my personal favorite) “quit procrastinating.” In 2010, your resident blogger has made a resolution to keep this blog up-to-date with exciting, fun and sometimes educational content – just for you.

In that vein, here are some suggestions for New Year’s Resolutions you won’t mind keeping all year long!

1. Do something new with your lover. You can break open the Kama Sutra and play with whatever position strikes your fancy, have sex outdoors, or make a foray into BDSM. Whatever you choose, do something that is a new experience for both of you.

2. Communicate with your lover. Take time, inside the bedroom or out, to reveal your innermost fantasies. What do you love best about his techniques? What do you wish he’d do more often? Here’s a tip, ladies – long talks during car drives work well. The lack of eye contact makes your man more comfortable and it helps that he has something else to focus on while still giving you the attention you need (and deserve!)

3. Buy a new toy. Expand your bedroom repertoire with the help of a new battery-powered friend. Go for something completely different. If you’ve never used a rabbit-style vibe, I recommend the new WOW series. Want something great for anal play? The Slimline Anal Explorer is a great beginner vibe at a great price.

4. Have more sex. Who couldn’t use a little more love in their life? Make arrangements for lunchtime rendezvous, quickies before breakfast, or long Saturday evening romps through every room in your house. If you’re an “only on weekends” couple, add a weekday into the mix. If you currently have sex once a week or less, aim for two or three times, just for a month, to see how you like it.

5. Make (and keep) a weekly date night. After the hubbub of the holidays, everyone begins to settle back into their normal routine. Why not make a weekly connection with your lover part of your regular 2010 schedule? If you have kids, line up a babysitter. If not – you have less of an excuse.

Date night doesn’t have to be expensive. Order Chinese food and then give each other massages by the fireplace. Use your imagination for low-cost, stay-at-home one-on-one time or splurge with a dinner out at your favorite restaurant. You can decide who, er – what’s – for dessert.

6. Do kegels. Kegels – easy little exercises that tone the PC (Pubococcygeus) muscles have well-documented health benefits. Not only do they help prevent incontinence, they can aid in childbirth. They also help women have more intense orgasms. You can do kegels anywhere, at any time (and no one will know). You can also use ben wa balls for a more intense experience.

7. Use a condom. If you’re not in a monogamous relationship, make 2010 the year you vow to practice safe sex with every partner and use a condom. You’ll find so many fun varieties here at Vibrator.com, you can even use a different style, color or flavor every day of the year!

Aren’t the holidays a romantic time of year? Let’s forget the crowded malls, endless piles of presents to wrap, and our dwindling bank accounts. Pass the spiked egg nog and let’s focus on the mistletoe and the crackling fire.

For couples celebrating Christmas together, Christmas Eve is the perfect night to set aside time for nooky near the tree. Just be careful where you roll; you don’t want to crush the Nativity scene. Here are some more ideas to really rock your lover’s jingle bells.

Role play – Santa and Mrs. Claus, a few naughty elves… bring on the garb and make it a very Merry Christmas. Don’t forget to take a few photos that you can enjoy throughout the year.

Play a fun (and silly) sex game – Turn on one of your favorite Christmas classics, but give it a grown-up twist while you watch. Write up cards with foreplay acts on them – or use these “dirty” dice. Then roll the dice or draw a card every time Rudolph’s nose lights up or Snoopy enters the scene. Use your imagination. You each get to open one of your presents early if you actually make it through all 23 minutes of the Christmas special before having sex.

Take in a (private) movie – My husband and I have a tradition of opening one gift each on Christmas Eve. Inevitably, I give him a DVD, ensuring some quiet couples time for the rest of the night as we snuggle in front of the roaring fireplace to watch a movie. Why not follow our tradition but make it an X-rated selection? I particularly like plot-driven films made for couples, with big name stars like Jenna Jameson in Cover to Cover.

Enjoy a toy that didn’t come from Santa – If movies aren’t your thing, why not gift your lover with a unique and adventurous couples sex toy, and spend the rest of the evening playing? A vibrating cock ring or a wireless remote control vibe make great couples toys!

Breakfast in bed – We all remember racing out of bed Christmas morning to see what treats Santa left for us. But we’re mature adults now, with more patience. And we know good things come to those who wait.

If you’re one of those lucky couples without kids, linger in bed Christmas morning and enjoy a decadent breakfast: French toast with gooey syrup or sticky cinnamon buns. Don’t forget the fresh strawberries and whipped cream; strawberries are shown to be an aphrodisiac.

You can prepare the French toast in the evening and simply bake until golden brown… We’re sure you can find something to do while breakfast is cooking.

I also liked Michael Webb’s tips for 12 Romantic Days of Christmas. Select a few of these to spice up your holiday celebration!

There’s one thing members of both major political parties agree on: The U.S. needs some type of health care reform. From there, though, opinions diverge wildly.

The 2,032-page bill introduced by House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) outlines a national healthcare plan with some very good points. For instance, the bill:

• prevents insurers from denying coverage to people with pre-existing conditions
• caps personal financial liability when someone faces a medical emergency
• prevents insurers from dropping people who become ill

Two of the key sticking points in the plan passed in November by the House of Representatives and now facing the Senate are – not surprisingly — sex education and abortion funding. The old adage rings true: in the end, it always comes around to sex.

Sex education, not abstinence teaching, supported
One provision of the bill, titled the “Healthy Teen Initiative to Prevent Teen Pregnancy,” supports taxpayer funding of sex education proven, through evidence-based research, to:

• delay sexual activity in teens;
• decrease the number of sexual partners;
• reduce teen pregnancy;
• reduce sexually transmitted infection rates; or
• improve rates of contraceptive use.

Abstinence-based programs, all the rage in many schools recently, will not be supported by tax dollars. According to some sources, the provision considers the abortion drug RU-486 as “contraception,” along with Plan B (the morning-after pill), IUDs, birth control pills and condoms.

Taxpayer-funded abortions nixed
While the conservative community may have lost the battle over sex education, an amendment to the bill barring federal funding for abortions, however, can be viewed as a conservative victory. In fact, it’s much more than that — it’s politicians listening to the majority of their constituents based on poll results.

A CNN poll showed that 61% of Americans (across all political parties) oppose using public funds to cover abortion. Thirty-seven percent are in favor of taxpayer-funded abortion. Slightly more than half believe all abortions should be paid for out of pocket, rather than through any insurance at all.

It’s interesting to note, however, that of respondents to a Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life survey, only 3 % cited abortion funding as a reason to oppose health care reform. Yet our legislators have turned this into a hot-button, make-or-break issue.

What do opponents really dislike about the bloated health care reform bill? The two highest-ranking responses, tied at 27 % each, were: “it’s too expensive” and “don’t want government involved in health care.”

When you consider the post office, Department of Motor Vehicles, Social Security and other government-regulated programs, it’s amazing the numbers for the latter response weren’t higher.

I firmly believe Americans need to take more responsibility for their health as a whole, in the form of healthy eating, frequent exercise, and common sense wellness care. But if I do get sick, I don’t want the government in charge of the tools that can assist me in healing. This firmly overrides any other issue relating to the health care reform bill, all of which seem to make sizzling headlines.

Health care reform good for LGBT Community
Too much government involvement aside, there are a few bright points to the legislation. One provision eliminates the hefty tax penalties non-married partners — a large percentage of which are gay or lesbian — face when they put their partner on their health insurance plan. As someone who lived with my (opposite sex) partner nearly seven years before we got married, this makes all sorts of sense to me. Marriage, again, should be a personal choice based on love, not economics.

Additionally, the bill prohibits discrimination in health care based on “personal characteristics extraneous to the provision of high quality health care or related services.” This includes gender and sexual orientation.

Certain parts of health care reform are on the right track. But the question remains: Will the bill pass before 2009 ends?

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