I’ve been writing about sex toys long enough to realize sex toys have fun names. Some are seductive, but some are so silly you have to giggle. In the interests of a good time, I thought I’d share with you, in no particular order, my favorite vibrator names.

Decadent Indulgence: The vibrator so hot California Exotics made not one, but two sequels (the Decadent Indulgence 2 and 3). The name calls to mind rich, dark chocolate. But there are no calories in this fun, feature-packed toy.

Ambitious Beaver: I admit, the name of this vibe from B.M.S. Enterprises inspired this post. A beaver vibrator is actually a variation of the famous rabbit, where a beaver tail and paws replace the dual bunny ears for a whole new level of clit-tickling pleasure. I love the idea of this “ambitious” little fella getting to work with seven different functions and ten speeds. He’s as busy as a… well, you know.

All American Whopper: We’re not talking about a burger, here, but there’s plenty of beef with this 7-inch dong. The suction cup holds it firmly in place, putting the power of plenty in your control. And what could be more American than the freedom to ride a seven-inch, realistic dildo wherever and whenever you want?

Honorable mention goes to his brother, the Chocolate Whopper with Balls. Both dildos are waterproof, as well, but I’d recommend putting those little non-skid things on the bottom of your tub before you attempt any maneuvers with these big boys.

Clone-a-Willy: Not only does the name make me giggle, but the product is… let’s call it an interesting novelty. The kit includes everything a man needs to make an exact replica of his own cock – just add water! It’s kind of like sea monkeys – but not. It also comes in chocolate and soap varieties.

Taylor Wane’s Assturbator Anal masturbation starter kit – A great play on words that evokes thoughts of a super powerful vibrator and more, Nasstoys Assturbator kit is all you need for anal play.

It’s also one of those products that makes you appreciate online sex toy sellers like Vibrator.com. I’m pretty bold, but it would be hard to go into my local adult store and ask for “the Assturbator” without smirking, blushing or both.

Tit Tax – A bachelor party favorite, Tit Tax are, you guessed it, breast-shaped breath mints. Ladies will want to offer up their counterpart, Dick Tarts, at their next girls-only gathering.

Clingon Glass Probe – You get three guesses what to do with the Clingon glass probe. If you guessed it has something to do with your bum, you’re right. But this unique glass toy also inserts about 3 inches into the vagina, resting on the PC muscles (those are the ones used for kegel exercises.) The slim butt plug adds to the pleasure while a ridged front offers g-spot stimulation. Now I understand where it got its name; the ridges kind of do look like an alien forehead – the cool kind, not the lame Klingons from the original Star Trek TV series.

Vibrating Diva Pleaser – This royal purple masterpiece tells it like it is. Designed for true divas, this scentless, water-proof, three-speed toy provides triple stimulation. Of course, a diva would desire nothing less!

I Rub My Duckie Bondage – The famous Rub My Duckie discreet vibrator has gotten a little crazier with this BDSM version. Clad all in leather, he comes with his own tiny set of handcuffs and a ball gag firmly placed in his beak. “Rubber duckie, you’re the one,” indeed.

Fleshlights – I love a good pun, and the Fleshlight line of products has a name that is both clever and descriptive. Nestled inside a flashlight case rests a Realskin pussy, mouth or ass for all your personal pleasure.

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