Higher Learning…

Education is important. Sex education is a necessity. When I see instances of institutions of higher learning incorporating sex education into the extra-curricular activities available to their students…well I smile and generally get a warm, fuzzy feeling all over!

The University of California, Santa Barbara has recently allocated funds from the Student Finance Board to some expenses involved in their upcoming “Sex Affair“ event. How exciting! The Student Health’s Sex and Relationship Interns get to use those allocated funds for advertising and entertainment costs associated with the Sex Fair, scheduled for May 23-24. This means purchasing some fun and educational knick-knacks for the goodie bags they plan to hand out. No doubt, a stellar supply of condoms should be at the top of that list!

In what seems to be the beginning of trend, The College of William and Mary has hosted another sex fair focusing on sex workers. More than 400 very interested students crammed into the University Center, while over 300 eager beavers had to be turned away. The point of this sex fair was to portray the realities of sex related careers…and the money for this fair was also appropriated from student activities fees. While several reviews were not favorable for the university to be paying for this, it was clearly acknowledged “…it’s not the practice and province of universities to censor or cancel performances because they are controversial.” BRAVO!!!! It is important to give young adults a well rounded education that includes a healthy dose of realistic understanding of the world beyond the classroom.

So what did we learn today children??? That they are finally instituting higher learning at institutions of higher learning. We also learned that it is OK to bring the sex industry out into the forefront of mainstream.

Vibrator.com will be playing their part in bringing sexuality into the every day lives of people. With so many exciting events coming up…it’s hard for me to keep quiet…so let me start by announcing our participation in NYC’s SHECKY”S GIRL NIGHT OUT!!! For those of you unfamiliar: Shecky’s Girls Night Out is an extravaganza of women’s favorite delights. All things that women love are crammed into 5 evenings of communal joy and overall girlie fun. We are so proud to be participating as the first and only Erotic Novelties vendor.

For all those sexy ladies in the NYC area, or those that may be visiting during March 12-16th, come check us out!

Hugs and kisses,

Sally

Antique Toys, Wigs oh my..

I was thinking about the “Sex Toys” today and wondering what did people use in the 1800’s? Also, it was brought to my attention that in the 1800’s people had worn pubic wigs or Merkins. Just get the crazy glue and presto magic you have a self made Chia pet. Prrrrr…but why did they do this you ask? The unhygienic conditions of the time meant that hair attracted lice so there’s your answer. Yum!

So, what else did I discover while I took myself on this adventurous history lesson? The electric vibrator came to its inception in 1869 with the invention of a steam-powered massager, patented by an American doctor. This device was designed as a medical tool for treating “female disorders” within 20 years a British doctor followed up with a more portable battery-operated model; by 1900, dozens of styles of electric vibrators were on the loose.

They appear more like power tools then sex toys ouch. It seemed to be not only can you use them to tickle your fancy but to fix up around the house. After you’re done using the vibrator you can build a new addition on the house. We have come along way pretty soon we shall be able to talk to our vibrators and they will act on command. Well one can dream can’t I?

Never Mess With a Sex Therapist…

So, here it is day one of my Sex Therapy Session. I was told by the therapists secretary to have a seat and “Dr. Feel-Good” (as we will call her in the situation) will be with me in the next few minutes. As I waited patiently in the office, I couldn’t help but to notice a sweet smell, a smell of an angel, a smell that made me extremely aroused. I was restless from the smell; I needed to find the source. I made many assumptions to the smell like could it be the flowers on the table next to me, or was the office freshly cleaned over the weekend? So Strange…cleaning products have never made me feel this way before…why now? Just then Dr. Feel-Good called out my name, in a sweet, uplifting voice. I looked up and nearly saluted her with my rock-hard erection. Overcome with embarrassment, I said with a slight fear in my voice…”how do you do? Where is the restroom?” She pointed me in the right direction, I quickly rushed into the men’s room and splashed cold water on my face. I thought to myself…was I dreaming? She was the one wearing this unbelievable scent. This is my therapist? She’s totally hot and she loves sex!!

After the cold water treatment in the bathroom, I felt cooled off enough to begin my therapy session. As I entered the room, Dr. Feel-Good’s first words were “Take of your clothes and have a seat on the leather sofa.” I swallowed in shock, excitement and pure WOW!! Am I in heaven? I thought to myself.

Dr. Feel-Good mentioned that being comfortable in my skin will help make me a better lover, so exposing myself naked to a complete stranger will help break this discomfort problem. Was she right? Well by this point, I didn’t care if she said jump off a building, she was making my sexual fantasies come true and breaking my naked discomfort problems.

The next step that we are going to take today is oral sex. “I am going to tease your penis with my tongue, licking it up and down, but not actually placing my mouth around it” she said, “will this be ok with you?” I wasn’t about to say no…I mean, my GOD my Totally HOT therapist is going to give me a blow job?!?!

The Doctor made herself comfortable by undressing herself, then she started to begin the session with her tongue. She didn’t say much after this exercise… she just kept on licking and I was ready to BURST! My mind was completely on her, I wasn’t thinking about my sexual problems, I do believe she cured me at this point. We continued the session with pure intensity as if we were sexual lovers for decades, completely knowing the ins and outs of every erotic area on each others flesh. It was pure sex, no unwanted attachments or worries….hmmm…or was it?

As things started to heat up, the licking turned into sucking, the sucking turned into fucking and the fucking turned into me getting a bill for $15,000 for the treatment a few weeks later. Yup, that’s right…Dr. Feel-Good even signed it, “Never Mess With a Sex Therapist You Sick Pervert.”

I dropped my jaw, I couldn’t believe that my therapist just literally screwed me over like this. She was the one who came on to me, she was the one who told me to take off my clothes. She, SHE, SHEEE was one who is crazy! After a few months passed I decided to go to her office to confront her of her strange and twisted behavior. As I was walking up the stairs to the Dr’s Office, I noticed many of the offices in the building were Sex Therapists Offices too. I quickly thought to myself…”Is this building full of sexual scams?” “Is everyone a crook? a cheat? a liar?”

Well, in any case, I was never able to confront Dr. Feel-Good face to face, apparently she is now living in London with her Husband of 12 Years…has anyone noticed… it’s a strange fucking world out there these days…

Word To The Wise: DO Your Homework When Choosing A Sex Therapist.

Social Networking for Big Kids

I don’t know about you but I feel ancient anytime I go on MySpace. I never expect to meet people there and I especially don’t expect to find like-minded people. I’m betting that I’m not the target demographic for MySpace and that’s fine cause there are places for people like me.

The other day I came across a relatively new (well, new enough to snatch up a desirable username) site, called SmutVibes. SmutVibes is kinda like MySpace but for adults only. People post up their profiles and their naughty pics, it’s awesome.

I think we can all agree that the success of the internet is due in part to porn, in great part. I mean, sure there’s other valuable information on the ‘net but I’m willing to bet my favorite vibrator that everyone who has ever been online has at least once looked at porn.

Don’t worry I won’t tell.

I love sexy pictures. But more than that I love sexy amateur pictures. I strongly recommend you check them out…and while you’re at it set up a profile and add me as a buddy.

Geek Love

The following is meant ONLY for the category of people listed bellow. Please do not read if you do not fall or consider yourself part of any of the following:

• Hardcore Gamers
• Programmers with too much time on their hands
• System Administrators (currently unemployed)
• Anyone else whose girlfriend got a headache tonight

If you are reading this, than you are either one of the above or way too curious. All I wanted to share with you is an amazing DIY tutorial I found, which will finally fill up the empty space between a snack and CounterStrike battle. As I found out, human beings need sex, and believe it or not gamers, sysadmins, programmers etc. ARE humans , therefore sex is needed (yet…hm…optional). As you could see on the image, the guys at Home Made Sex Toys have really gone all the way.

Remember all these times when you had to go to the bathroom and wished there was your favorite PC, or had a date with your girlfriend and all you were thinking about was a cron job? Well, now you could follow the manual and create the ultimate pleasure machine.

Coffee,Tea or Orgasm?

It has now become common knowledge that the very seductive and sexy Ralph Fiennes has been inducted into the Mile High Club earlier this month with one very lucky flight attendant. The Qantas employee has fully admitted to her mid flight tryst; and it’s Part Duex continued in a Mumbai hotel room. “One steamy night of passion” is how she phrased it! WOW! Damn do I wish I was on that flight!

I have some thoughts on this…and I’d like to share. I would like to begin with the wealth of feelings this event stirs up inside of me…curiosity, jealousy, pride and a minor hint of rage!

Curiosity: I wonder what it takes to shag a movie star 30,000 miles above my bed. Was it the extra bag of peanuts that won his heart? Will I receive the same treatment if I cough up the dough for a First Class ticket? Is this like the airline’s equivalent to a guaranteed “happy ending”? (Talk about a safe landing!) Does he get bonus frequent flyer miles if he does it again on the return flight? Inquiring minds wanna know…

Jealousy: I have not been gettin’ any lately…so I guess I am a little envious of exciting sex tales in general. But first and foremost, I have been waiting for my turn to be inducted into this exclusive club. Maybe I should have been a flight attendant…maybe I am misdirected spending all my time on the internet writing about sex instead of on Trans-Atlantic flights screwing sexy movie stars in between beverage service and the distribution of headphones. I hope it’s not too late for a career change…

Pride: Way to go! Yeah! After all, I am in the business of promoting hot and steamy sex lives. Now this is what we mean when we say “empower your sexuality”. I can’t help but feel like in some small way, all of us who promote a sex-positive attitude that includes living out your fantasies, played a part in this…and the millions of other Mile High Club stories that unfold day after day, year after year, flight after flight.

Rage: Here’s where it gets sticky…(no pun intended)…Mr. Fiennes was on his way to India to preach about safe sex and protecting yourself from HIV. Now here’s the conundrum folks….this little quickie in the bathroom was admittedly unprotected. SHAME ON YOU RALPH!!!!! If you’re gonna do it…do it right. This pisses me off! Next time you’re going to give banging in the bathroom a good name…don’t ruin it by being a hypocrite.

Damn do I wish I was on that flight!

Hugs and Kisses,

Sally

Men…Listen Up…

It’s about time we treat our women like the ladies they are and not some cheap plastic toy. We need to listen to them, we need to open our eyes, and really…I mean REALLY focus on what THEY want, not just what we want. To help you treat your lady better and provide her with the ultimate pleasure that she SOOOO desires, I have added a video that should get the message across to you men that just don’t get it. Enjoy.

Alabama got Slammed

The freedom to orgasm just got a little tougher in Alabama. The 11th Circuit court in Alabama decided, on Valentine’s Day no less, that an Alabama law banning the sale of sex toys is not unconstitutional, on the grounds that Alabama has an interest in preserving “public morality” against the sale of such devices.

Um, what?

When did sex toys become a moral issue? And why do the courts feel they have the right to hop into our beds? The foundation of our constitution is based on the separation of church and state, now do we need a separation of bed and state?

[insert obvious joke about the sexual habits of our most esteemed law makers here]

If that’s the case maybe we should outlaw my forefinger and some spit (my primary sex toy when all other toys are out of reach.) Or pulsating showerheads.

I just have to say how not only ridiculous this is but frankly upsetting. I love my toys. I love my freedom to buy toys. And most of all I love the orgasms my toys give me. There’s nothing immoral about it. In fact, my pleasure and satisfaction make me a much nicer person to be around. Ask anyone.

The truly immoral thing is the courts trying to place shame on people. Pleasure is personal, how you achieve your pleasure is your decision…not some court. This all seems a little too Hobbesian to me. I think life without sex toys would be nasty, brutish, and short.

So we’d like to extend 10% saving on any product in our store to the residents of Alabama. Enter coupon code BAMA1 at checkout.

Online Dating: Unmatched.com?

My foray into online dating was an experience I’d rather forget. There was Naked Lawyer Guy, Bad Teeth Guy, and how could I forget Psycho Secret Agent Guy. Not fond memories. I have since sworn off internet dating. It always seemed like such a scam. Whether it was the online dating service milking you or the type of guys that used the service, either way count me out.

The other day I was surfing around the innernets and I came across a perfect example of an online dating service messing with its subscribers. According the Kyle, he was about to take down his profile when he received an email from a popular dating site…

The email is oddly void of any detail. Hum. Anyone else smell a rat?

I suspect it is because the woman who was supposedly looking at his profile looked something like… (more after the jump)

Read more

Safe Sex – Subway Style

As most of you already know, New York City has a Safe Sex campaign engaging the distribution of free condoms. Apparently, free condoms doesn’t cut the deal for New Yorkers and the city has expanded the project by branding the condoms. The new rubbers, are enclosed in a Subway style package reading “NYC Condom” with the letters displayed in colored subway-line circles and are made by Lifestyle. As I found out, the new condoms will replace the 18 million free condoms distributed annually through nightclubs, clinics and community centers. This makes New York the first city on earth branding its condoms. If this campaign proves to be successful I’ll be interested to see how Bacon, IN or French Lick, IN will brand theirs (yeah, these are real towns in the state of Indiana).

It seems like the stylish rubber campaign will prove successful. I am a person who rarely or never uses condoms. On my way to work this morning I grabbed a whole bunch of them and to be honest I will use them. I know they are the same as the non-branded once, but being a New Yorker I love anything that has to do with my city, and now I could even put NYC in my sex life