Teledildonics

I was recently reading and article about the OhMiBod vibrator. Basically it’s a vibrator that you hook up to your iPod and it vibrates to the sounds of the music. It’s actually pretty cool (I have only felt it in my hand but I can only imagine.) The article went on to desribe a term I’d never heard before: Teledildonics. Any time you can incorporate dildo into word, you’ve got a winner. What is Teledildonics, you ask? Teledildonics is a term used to describe any physical sexual act that can be conducted at a distance, usually through some kind of intermediating technology, like sex toys that can be controlled by a computer/electronic device.

While I was googling the term I came across and interesting site, AltPenis. They discuss teledildonics and claim that Howard Stern in fact was the first to employ his own for of teledildonics, a sort of precursor to specially made sex toys:

In the movie Private Parts, a woman phones Howard Stern’s show, confessing to having carnal thoughts about him but not knowing what to do about it. Howard tells her not to worry. He’ll have sex with her on-air. While his co-host Robin Quivers looks on skeptically, Howard has the woman turn up the bass on her stereo and lay the speaker on the floor. He then tells her to strip down and squat over the bass woofer. When everything is in place Howard leans into the mike and proceeds make humming sounds. Howard’s deep voice causes the woman’s bass woofer to vibrate, stimulating the woman’s clitoris, and she eventually orgasms. It’s a very funny scene. And if it happened as depicted, Howard Stern may have been the first known practitioner of what is now referred to as Teledildonics.

I don’t know about you, but I think that’s pretty hot (minus that it’s Howard Stern – read=not sexy at all). It brings to mind the days of phone/IM sex when I was dating a guy who lived in Italy and I was in California. If we only had a device that he controlled which pleasured me, the relationship may have survived. Alright, I’m just kidding, that relationship was doomed anyway.

I think I have found my new side hobby. I need to do a ton more research but I promise to report back from the frontlines.

Have a great weekend boys and girls!

Sex around the ‘net

Here’s some good stuff you may or may not have seen.

• The Hotdoll. A sex doll for dogs. I don’t know about you but I’ve been accosted by an over-amorous dog on more than one occasion. I had a roommate in San Francisco who had a particularly hump-happy Jack Russell. It got to the point I could no longer had friends over, at least not if they were wearing clothing that didn’t cover their legs.
• Here’s a story that I could’ve written…

  Author Has Sex for 100 Straight Days, Book Editors Get to Read About It
  *_{[via NYMag]}

  Although, would I have to have sex with another person or do my toys count?

  Definitely sounds like a good read:

  “We did it on top of a mountain. During the porn industry’s annual flesh circus in Las Vegas. In a yoga ashram, and in a remote yurt. In an ostentatious hotel, a cheap motel, and a Very Victorian bed-and-breakfast in Wyoming in the dead of winter. In our basement…”

• Even though I graduated college 5 years ago I still love to check our their daily rag. Especially the sex column. It reminds me of those fond days of my youth sitting in Sproul Plaza getting horny and looking around at all the geeks in despair.
  
  Christine Borden wrote a great piece in honor of mother’s day:

  Mom: Are you using condoms? Birth control isn’t enough! What if you miss a pill and wind up pregnant? Then you’ll have to drop out of college, and I’ve already spent thousands on that damn school. Can’t you get a scholarship or something? What are you going to do if you get pregnant? You don’t have enough money to take ca re of me when I get old. Don’t you dare put me in a nursing home!

  Me: Mom, can we please not talk about condoms? I need to go. I have to write my column. I—

  Mom: Please don’t write about people sticking fingers up your bum again. I know you were trying to be funny, but—

  Me: Wait, are you reading my columns? I think they’re a little too risque for my own mother to read.

  *_{[via Daily Cal]}

• And here’s one for the “duh!” department.

  Study: Prehistoric Man Had Sex for Fun
  *_{[via Archaeo News]}

  Is their any other reason to have sex?

  
  “New research into Stone Age humans has argued that, far from having intercourse simply to reproduce, they had sex for fun. Various sex practices were widespread in primitive societies as a way of building up cultural ties.”

  I wonder if Geico will incorporate that into their “Caveman” campaign.

That’s all for now kids. Have a great weekend and if you’re feeling frisky grab yourself a new sex toy, you’ll thank me later.

Feeling lucky?

Feeling lucky? We’ll I’m feeling generous. Scratch below to reveal…

(The scratcher doesn’t quite fit on the screen so you can go to the site to see it in full view.)