Resident Vibrator.com blogger Desiree Sweet just returned from an enchanting, 18-hour road trip to Florida. How did hubby and I amuse ourselves down that nearly endless stretch of I-95? (Hint: it wasn’t by reading “Pedro’s South of the Border” billboards aloud.)

Ms. Sweet has a knack for giving road head. I sucked my first dick in a car on the side of the New Jersey Turnpike (or was it Pennsylvania?) Now, we don’t bother pulling over. Our personal record is a blow job that lasted the entire length of Connecticut.

Road head can be dangerous, but it can also be lots of fun. Follow these pointers to stay as safe as possible. Then buckle up, sit back, and enjoy the ride.

Keep your seatbelt on. This is a tricky maneuver for the giver, as she leans over her seat to reach the prize. But do the best you can. In a vehicle with a bench seat (no center shifter) it should be easy enough to move over and use the middle seatbelt. Under all circumstances, the driver should leave his seatbelt securely fastened.

No teeth! Of course, this is the rule for any good blow job, but it’s particularly important to be mindful of your molars on a bumpy road. Whenever possible, stick to smooth highways rather than stop-and-go traffic.

For safety’s sake, it’s best to give a blow job on an empty road, where the driver can set the cruise control and recline his seat just a bit; not enough to impair his vision. This gives his partner plenty of head room, so to speak.

If the car has a center console, be especially careful not to knock it into neutral. And if you have a stick shift instead of an automatic, keep the blow jobs to the parking lot—it’s just too much for the driver to think about at one time.

To keep the car’s interior clean, you’ll probably want to swallow and be done with it. But it’s nice to have some tissues or baby wipes on hand to wipe up afterward, anyway. Some water comes in handy, too. (I know I’m always parched after a good oral sex session).

While it’s uncertain if there are explicit laws against road head, a jealous cop can nail you for indecent exposure, reckless driving, or any number of other offenses. To reduce your risk of getting caught, stick to less populated areas, at night.

Make sure the driver can concentrate on the road during his BJ, without any suspicious (and dangerous) swerving. Test his concentration abilities with some dirty talk, then a hand job before moving on to the main (street) attraction. Remember, safety always comes first!

(DISCLAIMER: All articles on Blog.Vibrator.com are for entertainment purposes only. Vibrator.com does not advocate illegal or dangerous acts. Don’t do anything stupid, people!)

Have you ever wasted hours of your life on Myspace or Facebook and wanted those hours back? Well then I might recommend NOT visiting web 2.0 sex networking sites like Xtube.com or Pornotube.com (see a previous blog post for the full list). Sites like these have the propensity to suck away thousands of minutes of the lives of young voyeurs like myself. The sheer selection of what one can search for and successfully find is astounding and almost a hindrance at an otherwise productive evening. The work of a voyeur is never done when sitting at the virtual telescope into countless bedroom windows.

Xtube has taught me some new sexual terms and interests that I was unaware of previously. “Whipped cream pie” is one of them. (I am actually still not sure what it means.) My conversational Spanish and French has greatly improved, as well. Still, I am not convinced that, as a voyeur, I’m making good use of my time on Xtube. Exhibitionists have a better deal.

You like it gay or straight? Sure, whatever. Interested in seeing a girl who has tattoos that encircle both of her breasts suck off two guys at once? Yeah, I’m into that, I guess. Have you seen “lingerieboy’s” most recent jerk off video? Like, who hasn’t?! Only a small percentage of videos on Xtube are of commercial porn, leaving the rest to be produced by horny guys and girls on private cams. This is the obvious choice for the countless exhibitionists of the world, but how can a voyeur like me find the time to spy in on everyone?! It’s just not possible.

So where does this leave me? Searching for keywords (like “whipped cream pie”, of course) and quietly subscribing my photo-less profile to receive notifications when my favorite “stars” update their arsenal of homemade treats for my viewing pleasure. Would it be easier and less time-consuming to buy a cam and become an exhibitionist myself? Maybe. But where’s the fun in that?

One of my favorite forms of foreplay doesn’t involve candlelight dinners, roses, or even porn DVDs. My husband and I like browsing through adult stores. We rarely buy anything in brick-and-mortar stores; we save our shopping for online. But we love pointing out our favorite DVDs, looking at the lingerie, and giggling at some of the sillier sex toys. It helps that we’re both people-watchers, and you certainly encounter characters at the adult store. After a few rounds through the rows of vibrators, though, we’re focused only on each other, thinking of the toys we’ll pull out of our own collection that night. By the time we get in the car, we can barely make it home before ripping off each other’s clothes.

Sometimes we pick out some lingerie, maybe a sexy little teddy or a pretty bra and g-string set. In my opinion (and hubby’s!) there’s nothing hotter than a lady in lingerie. Think you can’t wear something black and slinky? Nonsense! It’s all about the attitude. A confident woman will look great in anything. If you’re feeling self-conscious, soft lights in the bedroom don’t hurt.

For years, I had a hang-up about wearing white lingerie. You know, that old myth about black being slimming and white, well, showing flaws? But every time we picked out a new outfit, hubby preferred white. I started to like it simply because he liked it so much. And I started to feel good in it. On our honeymoon, I packed five different white outfits and wore a new one each night.

It’s been a while since we’ve toured the adult shops in our area. I wonder if there’s anything new. It doesn’t matter what merchandise we spot—the most important thing we’ll find on the excursion is our sense of playfulness and revved up imaginations!

Then again, we can do the same thing from home, browsing Vibrator.com, and I won’t have to worry about the legal ramifications if we get pulled over while I’m giving him a blow job in the car.

Spring is here and in many regions, temps are already rising. Even if you’re still digging out from the latest storm, don’t despair. Sunny days are right around the corner. And warm weather means water fun—pools and Jacuzzis! Why not turn your next wet adventure into something wet and wild with a waterproof vibe?From g-spot vibes to rabbits, you’ll find hundreds of choices. One of my favorites is the Blue Dolphin from Pipe Dreams. This “rabbit-style” vibrator features a dolphin-head clit tickler (the bottlenose of a dolphin seems custom-made for this activity!) and multiple speeds of pulsation and vibration.

Vibrating sponges add a new element to soapy sexual sensations. The Banana in the Pulsabath line can actually create spa-like bubbles right in your tub.

Add romantic ambience to your adventures with a bath kit featuring a floating candle and bath gel, or some soothing yet playful bubble bath.

Whether you enjoy water play in the bath, shower, pool, Jacuzzi–or are daring enough to try an ocean tryst–these tips will keep you safe.

• Make sure your toy is really waterproof! From ruining your new toy to risk of electric shock, bringing non-waterproof toys into a wet environment (we mean the pool or tub, silly!) can have bad consequences. You’re safe with non-powered dildos made from plastic, silicone, or glass and any vibe that says it’s “waterproof” on the package. Stay away from anything with an electrical plug (obviously).
• Inspect the waterproof seal around the battery compartment before you use your toy. You can also “test” the seal by holding the toy under running water.
• Clean toys well after using them in a chlorinated pool or hot tub. The chemicals may erode jelly or cyberskin-type toys after time.
• Because water tends to dry out a woman’s natural lubrication, you may want to use a silicone-based lubricant. Unlike oil-based lubricants, silicone lubes are safe for use with condoms and sex toys, and they won’t wash away like water-based lubes.
• The chlorine in hot tubs and pools may cause the latex in condoms to deteriorate. If you need to use a condom, save intercourse for outside the water—but do enjoy as much foreplay as you want using hygienic sex toys.
• Alcohol and hot tubs don’t mix. Combine cocktails and the Jacuzzi with a sex toy and an orgasm and you’re asking for a fast, messy (and not in a good way!) end to your night. Even sober, avoid staying in a hot tub for more than 15 minutes at a time because it could bring your temperature up to dangerous levels.

Don’t let these caveats scare you, though! If you’ve ever shared a shower with a lover, you know there’s nothing so erotic as sharing kisses while the water cascades down your face, caressing your breasts…

One last water tip… Don’t forget your rubber ducky. Or your wormie…. Or maybe a penguin.

XBIZ NEWS REPORT
By Tod Hunter
Tuesday, Apr 1, 2008

SOUTH PADRE ISLAND, Texas — A pink banner advertising adult products website Vibrator.com that had been flown over spring break destination South Padre Island has been grounded after complaints by residents.

“It’s just a little community, and there are a lot of older folks there,” John from Houston-based National Sky Signs told XBIZ. “We flew it a couple of times and the county asked me if I would not do it anymore. It was an informal request. I said, ‘Not a problem.’ They moved the banner to another place.”

The banner is 25 feet high and 68 feet long, with the words “Got Toys? Vibrator.com” alongside the company’s logo of a silhouetted woman.

“We felt that it’s a great audience for us, spring breakers,” Vibrator.com CEO Keith Levenson told XBIZ. “We know our demographics, and the 18-25 crowd is a big audience for us.”

Levenson told XBIZ that he might pursue the ban through the courts.

“So far as I knew, flying planes and aerial banners was a First Amendment right,” Levenson said. “From what we heard, this was a little airport that took the law into their own hands. We’re contemplating legal action.”