Vibrator.com’s Best Buys: Ten Toys Under $20

In a sluggish economy, sex remains one of the best free activities two people can engage in. Research shows it even helps you relax and forget your worries.

And sure, sex is free, but creative, earth-shattering, experimental sex – solo or with a partner — doesn’t have to cost a lot, either. Take, for example, these 10 toys, discovered by your resident bloggers (and believe me, we made the sacrifice to do some painstaking product testing!) to be Vibrator.com’s Best Buys.

Each of these goodies, including clitoral stimulators, traditional vibrators, toys for boys and more, can be had for less than $20, but they all pack a lot of bang for the buck. For instance, did you know you can experience the dual action of a rabbit for less than the price of a night at the movies (with popcorn and Jujubes, of course) here in New York?

• $15 – Silicone Posh Massager -
  CalExotics’ silicone “posh” massager sounds expensive, but it’s really not. At just $15, this powerful clitoral massager offers push-button, dual speed control – a feature often found on more expensive vibes.
• $15 – Peanut Vibe -
  Discretion often comes with a high price tag, but not in the case of this small and powerful clitoral vibe. It gets its name because it’s the size of an unshelled peanut, but it’s also less expensive than a trip to the circus! This clitoral vibe features 7 functions of vibration and pleasure nubs. One tester called it “scary-strong,” while Desiree Sweet was left wordless and moaning.
• $16 – Velvet Touch Hugs Vibe and Kisses Vibe $16 each -
  Everybody loves hugs and kisses, another free luxury. The Velvet Touch Hugs Vibe and the Velvet Touch Kisses vibe aren’t free, but they’re close to it, at just $16 each. Both have features not normally found on such inexpensive vibrators, putting them a few steps above your “basic” models.
  The Kisses vibe is adorned with little nubby hearts that fill with powerful vibrations. The velvety Hugs vibe has a rounded head. Both feature three different vibration settings and are waterproof.
• $18 – Bunny Buddy -
  You could spend close to $100 on a rabbit vibrator. Or you can get the Bunny Buddy for only $18—and that includes batteries, too! His lucky rabbit’s foot tickles your clit while those curved ears pleasure your g-spot. If you’ve never tried a rabbit before and aren’t sure if you’ll like the experience, this is a great toy for bunny beginners. At this price, though, even seasoned rabbit users will want to add it to their collections.
• $16 – Pleasure Dot Massager -
  Handheld massagers like the Hitachi Magic Wand, the benchmark in that field, can be expensive. Now you can get all the power and the discrete shape of a pricey personal massager for just $16. The Pleasure Dot is ergonomically shaped, with a pleasure-inducing round rubber head and three different vibration speeds.
• $14 – The All-American Whopper -
  No, we’re not talking about a bargain burger loaded with fat. This realistic, flesh-colored dildo with balls is 7 inches long and made of real-skin. The suction cup base holds it in place. Tell us, what’s more American than a classic sex toy at a great price?
• $19 – Jelly Flex Clitterific Dildo -
  Are you looking for a multi-featured, realistically-shaped vibrating dildo that will also stimulate your clit? I bet you didn’t think you could find one under $20, but the colorful Jelly Flex Clitterific Dildo will fulfill all your dreams and still leave you with money left for lube.
• $7 – Screaming O Vibrating Ring -
  Have you always wanted to try a vibrating cock ring, but didn’t want to spend a ton of money? The Screaming O Vibrating Ring is perhaps the best bargain on this list at under $10. You can barely buy two cappucinos for that price, but now you can treat your lady to a fantasy-filled night of clitoral pleasure.
• $9 – Sidekick 2 -
  This masturbator from Vibratex proves quality doesn’t have to cost a lot. The manufacturers of the world’s best selling vibrators bring you this soft elastomer sleeve with inner pleasure bumps and waves for a memorable, relaxing experience every time you use it.

Porn Industry Seeks Bailout

It’s so incredible I wonder if they’re actually serious. Larry Flynt of Hustler and Joe Francis, creator of the Girls Gone Wild DVD franchise, are seeking a government bailout for the porn industry. Really.

According to an report posted on TMZ and picked up by The Huffington Post, (among other sites) the adult entertainment moguls are heading out to Washington D.C. seeking $5 billion to insure the future of porn.

The rationale behind the plea, according to an article by the AFP, is that the limp economy is presumably making Americans too depressed to have sex. The $12 billion industry isn’t going anywhere, according to Flynt and Francis, “…but why take chances?”

However, the evidence for a bailout isn’t all that compelling. The pair can’t even get their argument straight. In one breath, Francis says, “”In difficult economic times, Americans turn to entertainment for relief… More and more, the kind of entertainment they turn to is adult entertainment.”

Flynt, however, follows up with: “With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the furthest thing from their mind.”

Granted, politics and economics aren’t my strong suits, but am I missing something here?

Not to say that the government would even entertain the notion, so to speak, of a porn industry bailout, but it shows the slippery slope the bailout has sent the country spiraling down. Where do we draw the line? How many industries should enjoy this large-scale corporate welfare?

Will it end when the government begins printing money like mad to cover our debts, further devaluing the dollar and creating runaway inflation so bad that we’ll be wheeling a barrel of money to the drugstore to buy a box of condoms? Maybe that’s a worst case scenario, but, according to many experts, a plausible outcome.

Doom and gloom predictions aside, the bailout may not work and GM and Chrysler may be out of business before the spring thaw, anyway. Ford, if it survives, may look totally different as a company by this time next year. (Think luxury, niche sports cars and heavy-duty trucks).

But back to the desired porn industry bailout… There’s one other small point Francis seems to conveniently forget: Sex is free. (Financially speaking, that is). Well, unless you’re not careful — then it could cost you as much as $250,000 over the next 18 years. Plus college costs. But I digress once again…

Far be it for a blogger at a site that sells adult toys to admit you don’t really need these accoutrements for a happy and fulfilling sex life, but we have to admit it’s true. I don’t know anyone who could honestly claim that porn is a necessity of life. Nonetheless, if I was forced to part with either my Toyota or my Pocket Rocket…. Let’s just say I’d be riding my bicycle a lot more.

Research Discovers Love Can Last Forever

With a 50 percent divorce rate in the U.S. and people always talking about how the spark of love fades, becomes boring, and passion dies after time, new research has uncovered some optimistic findings for long-term couples.

Through brain scans, a team of researchers at Stony Brook University in Long Island, New York, found that some couples experience the same chemical reactions when viewing photos of their loved ones after 15 or 20 years as those involved in a new love. This shows that “old love” can be as exciting as new love.

Stony Brook-based researcher, psychologist and intimacy expert Dr. Arthur Aron explains, “When we look at the pattern of brain in a person in the FMRI scanner, the brain response when you hear your own name is much more similar to what you get when you hear the name of a close other than when you hear the name of a not-quite-so-close other.”

According to an article in Britain’s Sunday Times, which reported on the findings, previous research suggested that the first stages of romantic love fade within 15 months and after 10 years it has gone completely.

The bad news? A mere 10 percent of the long-term couples studied still had that spark.

In a podcast titled “The Science of Intimacy and Love,” Aron talks about what couples can do to increase their odds of becoming part of that 10 percent of couples who still feel intimacy and passion after 10 years or more.

Aron stresses that good communication skills, high self-esteem in both partners, and a lack of depression or anxiety help maintain closeness. Aron stated in the podcast, “If you are fairly confident in your own self, if your self-esteem is not too low, if it’s fairly stable, then you can share yourself with another and not feel you’re losing who you are.”

Not surprisingly, another important tenet of keeping the spark alive after a decade involves trying new, challenging activities with your partner. Aron stated that he and his wife try to engage in an interactive activity they’ve never done, or haven’t done in a while, at least once a week.

New experiences need not be sexual or even physical. New topics of conversation, debates and sharing fantasies or dreams can have a positive effect. Think about when you first met your lover, how much time you spent simply getting to know your significant other through conversation. You can bring that excitement back by pushing past your mental, and sometimes physical, boundaries.

If you and your partner are adrenaline junkies, you may have to stretch yourselves to come up with a new activity. Base-jumping or roller coasters, anyone? For other couples, battling out on the Nintendo Wii may be the exciting challenge you need to re-connect.

And, of course, don’t underestimate the value of introducing a new toy or game in the bedroom to keep your passion alive.

Childbirth and Orgasm, Unlikely Partners?

So here’s a topic I never thought I’d be writing about for Vibrator.com: childbirth. There’s a definite and obvious connection between sex and birth, of course. But for the most part, the former precedes the latter by approximately nine months.

A new documentary titled “Orgasmic Birth,” has been making the rounds of worldwide film festivals, even winning the Audience Choice Award at the 2008 Motherbaby International Film Festival in Bermuda, and it’s got many people looking at childbirth in a whole new light.

The film was produced by Debra Pascali-Bonaro, a childbirth expert, 26-year speaker in childbirth education, and a Lamaze-certified veteran in maternity care, as well as the mother of three sons. She asserts that childbirth does not have to be the painful, horror-filled experience that Hollywood often makes it out to be but instead can be a beautiful, sensual experience… the ultimate expression of love between a man and woman in the midst of creating a family.

The concept of an “orgasmic birth”—and yes, it means exactly what it sounds like it means—recently garnered mainstream attention on a 20/20 segment that aired on ABC. In the segment, one midwife reported that, in an informal, non-scientific survey, 21 percent of the women had orgasms during labor. The segment, shown here, chronicles a water birth in Hawaii, where the birthing mother experiences massage and complete relaxation during the birth. She admits that she never expected to achieve orgasm, but it happened nonetheless.

The hormones released during childbirth, including oxytocin, are the same ones released during sex, and can encourage these feelings of ecstasy under the right circumstances. Those circumstances include a 100-percent natural, drug-free birth in which the mother is relaxed, comfortable and free to allow her body to do what it is designed to do. An orgasmic birth, the ultimate extension of a natural childbirth, would be a “best-case scenario.”

The documentary is not pornographic, but it is intimate and explicit. It chronicles 11 birth stories, including water births, home births, and even mid-wife assisted births in birthing centers and features commentary from renowned childbirth experts including Ina May Gaskin, who is hailed as the mother of modern midwifery.

It’s understandable that someone’s first reaction to this concept might be disbelief or even disgust. As my husband said when I broached the subject, “That seems like two things that just shouldn’t go together.”

However, the event seems to be more sensual than sexual, the result of ultimate relaxation combined with stimulation of the same parts that are involved in the sex act. Both sex and childbirth involve incredible feelings of release after a tremendous build-up of pressure. Both—under ideal circumstances—involve immense love, albeit of a different nature, and the release of feel-good hormones. Both, when done right, involve simultaneous feelings of exhaustion, accomplishment and euphoria at their conclusion, bringing both participants (partners or mother and coach) emotionally closer.

Filmmaker Pascali-Bonaro calls childbirth an integral part of a woman’s sexuality and sensuality. What do you think? Can childbirth, under the right circumstances, be turned into an intimate, ecstasy-inducing act between a woman and her partner?

Sex Games Beyond Strip Poker

You may have started in junior high school with Spin the Bottle or Seven Minutes in Heaven.  If you’re looking for a fun way to spend the night with your partner, or a great way to loosen up with friends before sharing or swapping, games are still fun. but we’re all grown up now, and, the games have gotten racier.

You can customize these games to your own comfort level.  For instance, it can be fun to hit second base with close friends, even if you’re not into full-fledged swinging. Or you can have a free-for-all, anything goes, with just you and your partner. The best thing about these games? Everyone wins.

One point I’d like to make: Don’t be afraid to change the rules as you go. You might want to set guidelines before you begin, such as: “no guy-on-guy action” or “no kissing on the lips,” but if anything comes up that someone is uncomfortable with, the player shouldn’t be afraid to speak up. These games are about fun, not about humiliation or pushing people past their sexual comfort levels. And if none of these appeal, why not try some old-fashioned strip poker?

Strip Darts… and Then Some
You can play this just like a classic dart game, where you are shooting to hit each number three times in any combination. In other words, you can hit three singles, a single and a double, or one triple. Write all the numbers, plus bulls-eye, on your scoreboard. The fun begins when someone closes out a number. When one player or team “closes out” a number (gets three points on that number), the opponent removes a piece of clothing. Go round this way until all clothes are removed, and then begin with sexual favors. For instance, you may go from a kiss to a massage to oral sex. We like to play that closing out the bulls-eye equals automatic oral sex, even if the other player isn’t naked yet. If being naked around sharp objects makes you uncomfortable, try this game with Velcro darts and pre-printed commands.

Dirty Jenga
This is an exciting game of skill, coordination… and sex! Jenga provides several blank tiles where you can write your own challenges. Fill these in with dirty ideas such as “trade underwear with the person to your right,” “kiss the person to your left,” “massage the person across from you.” You can also cross off the instructions on some of the tiles to write your own activities. The person who knocks over the Jenga tower must give oral sex to one of the other players (or all of them!)

Truth or Dare
This one’s a classic but now you can give it a truly adult twist. Go around the room and ask a saucy question such as, “What’s your naughtiest unfulfilled fantasy?” or “What’s the weirdest place you ever had sex?” Anyone who doesn’t want to answer must perform the dare decided by the person who asked the question. How many rounds will you go before the game turns into a free-for-all love-fest?

Vibrator.com also sells some great sex games for couples or groups. Some of my favorites are the dirty dice, with body parts printed on one die and actions on the other, or easy-to-play board games like Stairway to Pleasure.

Whether you decide to spring for a storebought game or modify a favorite game you already own, games are a great, low-cost way to spend a cold winter night. What are your favorite dirty games?

Researchers Find Link Between Sex and Sneezing

Yawns are often contagious, but did you know that thinking about sex can make people sneeze? A UK-based physician at the John Radcliffe Hospital in Oxford, wrote about the unusual affliction in the Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine.

Some people sneeze when they become aroused by thinking about sex; others report sneezing after orgasm.
As silly as it sounds, it does make sense, physiologically. One in four people report having sneezing fits when they are exposed to bright sunlight, and the sex and sneezing phenomenon is similar, according to Dr. Bhutta and his colleague, retired psychiatrist Dr. Harold Maxwell.

The link, in regard to sneezing and sunlight, is caused by autonomic nervous system signals that get mixed up. If you remember eighth grade biology, the autonomic nervous system controls involuntary actions such as heart rate, blood flow and breathing. The nerves that control sneezing and pupil dilation run near each other in the brain stem, as do those that control blood pressure and breathing. Mixed signals may cause sneezing when another autonomic response would be more appropriate.

Other interesting facts about sex and the brain?

• The urban legend that the average man thinks about sex once every seven seconds is not true. According to The Kinsey Institute, an organization that researches sex, gender, and reproduction, 54% of men think about sex everyday or several times a day, 43% a few times per month or a few times per week, and 4% less than once a month.

• It is true, however, the men think about sex more than women. According to the same Kinsey Institute study, 19% of women think about sex everyday or several times a day. Sixty-seven percent report sexual thoughts a few times per month or a few times per week, while a hefty 14 percent think about it less than once a month.

• In another study, 98 percent of men reported fantasizing about someone other than their partner. Eighty percent of women surveyed have sexual fantasies about someone else. Women, however, were more likely to fantasize about a former partner. Thirty-four percent reported fantasizing about a past lover, while 22 percent of the men surveyed did the same.

• According to sex researcher Alfred Charles Kinsey in his book Sexual Behavior in the Human Female, 2% of women report being able to achieve orgasm by fantasy alone. The percentage of men who can do this is even smaller.

The somewhat depressing conclusion? Naughty thoughts, if they don’t pave the way to a physical act, are more likely to end in a sneeze than an orgasm.

When I told my partner about the connection between sex and sneezing, he quipped, “That explains your hay fever.”

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need another tissue.

Delicious Desires: Top Products for Oral Sex

All that talk of kissing in my last blog got me thinking about flavored products. The right lip gloss not only makes your lips soft, smooth and succulent, but it can add a pleasant flavor to a kiss.

Likewise, Nipple Nibblers lotion not only adds a sweet, pleasant-tasting tingle to your nipples, it’s also recommended for the lips. Available in sun-ripened strawberry, this lotion from Holiday Products is a steal at only $8 for the 2 oz. container.

But let’s work our way down as we explore some of  Desiree Sweet’s favorite lubes, lotions and condoms to make oral sex even sweeter.

Sweeten’d Blow – This cleverly named pleasure gel comes in raspberry, vanilla and watermelon and has a lubricating effect for an extra smooth blow job. Vibrator.com offers plenty of different oral sex gels, but this blogger likes the unique flavors of Sweeten’d Blow and the campy container.

Boi Toyz Blow Job Drops – Just a few drops of this minty concoction on your tongue gives your partner a tingly treat. Lots of fun for the adventurous couple! Best of all, it’s available in minty combinations of spearmint, cinnamon, wintergreen and chocolate mint.

Oral Delight Couples Kit – This kit from Doc Johnson has it all: Wild cherry-flavored Good Head lotion for blow jobs, strawberry-flavored LickMe licker gel for her, plus a mini-waterproof massager and UR3 slipper tongue sleeve for the vibe. You can use this exciting foursome in any combination for a full night of oral pleasure.

Astroglide Sensual Strawberry – If you’re looking for an effective, light, water-based lube that is safe for use with condoms, you can’t beat the classic Astroglide. Add strawberry flavor and you have a true winner! This lubricant keeps you wet and slippery for hours while adding a light taste that’s not too sugary-sweet. Definitely a favorite of this blogger!

Four Seasons Flavored Condoms – Oral sex with a regular condom can leave a rubbery taste in your mouth; flavored condoms are the way to go. And because variety is the spice of life (and your sex life!) this four-pack gives you four different flavors: banana, strawberry, blueberry and chocolate.

The Collection – Flavored massage oils add a great taste and scent to foreplay. This kit from Kama Sutra offers five 1 oz. bottles of tasty massage oil in sensual flavors such as chocolate mint, cherry almond, raspberry kiss and vanilla crème.
It’s important to remember that not every flavor appeals to every person. (Although we’ve yet to find the individual who is turned off by chocolate!) Variety packs of condoms, flavored massage oils and drops help ensure that you are adding a pleasing taste for your partner. Before you apply a particular flavor, make sure to ask! You don’t want to be sent off to the showers with the line: “No, really, it’s not you! It’s the cherry lube!”