Broadway’s Sexiest Plays of All Time

We’re lucky here at Vibrator.com to live and work in the best place in the world to see a live show. So, in honor of the city that never sleeps, we bring you the five sexiest plays on Broadway. Why not fight the winter doldrums, spend some of that tax stimulus money you’ve got coming, and surprise your sweetie with a romantic night on the town?

1. Rent – The play celebrated its 12th anniversary and final year on Broadway last September, but has just kicked off a national tour. Just thinking about the scene featuring the song “Contact” makes me wet. Sure, the play covers some decidedly unsexy topics, including AIDS, drug addiction and poverty, but it’s also one of the most romantic rock operas ever to hit the stage.

2. Spring Awakening – The play’s major theme discusses sexual repression and the loss of virginity, so it shouldn’t be surprising that this one makes our list. Powerful S&M explorations and a tender, passionate (and also climactic) onstage love scene to end the first act makes the audience squirm in the best way possible.

3. La Cage Aux Folles – In many ways, it is the lack of overt sex that makes La Cage Aux Folles so sexy! The 1983 musical featured pure Broadway style with elaborate costumes and set design, a sexy, well-coiffed (and mostly male) chorus, harkening back to Broadway’s glory days. A groundbreaking performance artistically and socially, capturing progressive themes of its time, La Cage Aux Folles is a true classic.

4. The Rocky Horror Show – The next stop in our list is more of a cult classic, a sci-fi horror movie spoof about a “sweet transvestite / From Transexual, Transylvania.” The Rocky Horror Show was made into a movie starring Tim Curry as the terrifyingly sexy “Frank N. Furter.” Tim Curry also originated the role on stage.
If you can catch a midnight showing of the movie or, even better, a combined stage show/movie screening, definitely go for it! Enthusiasts dress in full costume and throw bread at the stage. You might be more amused than turned on, but everyone should experience Rocky Horror live at least once.
Here’s a free tip: I can’t tell you why, but don’t raise your hand if they ask for any Rocky Horror virgins in the audience.

5. Phantom of the Opera – Dark, forbidden love, a haunting (so to speak) soundtrack, a love triangle and one fateful kiss make Broadway’s longest-running musical one of the sexiest plays in history. If the lilting tones of a powerful voice and a vulnerable, not-quite-evil male lead do it for you, you’ll agree that Phantom of the Opera belongs on this list.

I was tempted to round out this list with Beauty and the Beast and The Little Mermaid. (Does anyone care to debate the sexiness of flirty little Ariel with her mermaid fins and bikini top?) But I got the vibe that Disney might not appreciate the plug. So consider this a list of Broadway’s sexiest plays (past and present) not necessarily produced for a family audience.

Agent Ansley Reviews the Njoy Pure Plug

Njoy Pure Plug as reviewed by Agent Ansley

Check out the latest video review of the Njoy Pure Plug – Medium.

Roadside Assistance: A Short Story

Some things are so hot, you just have to share…

It was a dark and stormy night. Really, it was. Stay with me here.

I braved the downpour to pick up my husband from his best friend’s bachelor party around 2 AM. When he told me the party had been fun but the strippers were “lame,” well, I figured I should do something to spice up the night for the groom-to-be.

I would have loved to take both men back to my house for sex in all sorts of fun combinations, but between the rain, the late hour, and the fact that half the attendees were still partying it up at the best man’s house, we didn’t have a lot of options. My husband could disappear without comment, but the guest of honor would surely be missed.

I was pleased when L came out, along with my husband, to greet me. He was dressed in shorts and a t-shirt, already settled in for the night. I rolled down the car window and he planted a soft kiss just beside my lips, but in his eyes I saw a yearning for more. I heaved a sigh that told him I wanted more, too. He glanced around the front yard; no one else was outside. He leaned in again for a deeper kiss. At the same time, my husband’s hand caressed my thigh through my thin, silky pajama pants.

I bit my lip and contemplated Harley for a moment. Then my husband had an idea that made it a Much Better Night for everyone. “How about we, um, have a talk,” he said to Harley. My husband stepped out of the car, leaning over the roof. Harley stepped back for a moment to follow suit, the smile growing on his face.

I didn’t understand immediately. “So. An interesting night,” my husband said.

I looked from the driver’s side window to the passenger side. I realized what was happening as Harley lowered the waistband of his shorts and moved in closer to the car door. Then he, too, leaned over the roof of the car. I licked my lips as his cock came to life, dangling right in front of my face.

“Well, go ahead,” my husband said.

The two men made idle chatter over the roof of the car as I sucked, licked and fondled. The falling raindrops mixed with my saliva and his pre-cum for a sensual, exciting taste in my mouth unlike anything I’d ever experienced. He forced his cock through the open car window as I deep-throated him expertly.

I closed my eyes and imagined a shared fantasy, a glory–hole. “I’d recognize the taste of your cock,” I had teased him once. “But it would still be fun!”

As the rain pounded harder against the roof of the car, as well as through the window and onto my face, I increased the intensity of my sucking. I ran my mouth over his shaft faster, forcing it deeper and deeper into my mouth with each movement.

Every so often, I opened my eyes to peer outside the car, making sure no one had come out of the house, while thinking it could get even more interesting if another friend decided to join us.

I pulled his cock out of my mouth for a moment to breathe, letting my hand take over where my lips left off. With the rain coming down in heavy streams now, I jerked him off rapidly, teasing the tip of his cock with my tongue. His cock grew extremely hard, the pressure building up as I brought him closer to orgasm.

At just the right second, I wrapped my mouth around him, drawing him deep inside my mouth to swallow the warm fluids that squirted like a geyser down my throat. I swallowed the first wave, and the second, then pulled back to breathe, licking stray drops of cum from my lips.

I heard my husband breathe heavily from the other side of the car, as Harley’s knees buckled after the exhilaration of his orgasm. I blinked, smiled, wiped my lips and leaned back against the headrest. Once again, I wasn’t sure what was happening when Harley hurriedly pulled up his pants and made a random comment to my husband.

Then I heard a screen door slam shut and footsteps coming down the drive.

“Hey, what’s up?” I heard one of the groomsmen say. Not just “one of the groomsmen,” but the most attractive (aside from my husband, of course.)

“Hi,” Harley said. “Just getting ready to come in.”

“We’d better be going,” my husband said, opening the car door and climbing into the car.

I gazed out the window at the groomsman, said hi to him, then winked at my husband and wiped my mouth with satisfaction.

“Next?” I joked.

Note: The story you just read was a work of fiction. Had it been a true account, your resident swinging blogger would have insisted on a condom. Strawberry, of course.

Inside the Adult Entertainment Expo

Every year, members of the adult entertainment industry gather to share information, debut new products and do business at a large convention. The 2009 AVN Adult Entertainment Expo (presented by AVN magazine, the premier trade magazine of the adult entertainment industry) took place January 8 – 11 at the Sands Expo Center in Las Vegas, Nevada.

As in years past, the largest gathering of the adult entertainment industry coincided with the largest gathering for tech enthusiasts—the Consumer Electronics Show (CES). As CES wrapped up on Friday, the AVN show began… and in the same venue, no less.

Actually, it’s no coincidence, as the AAE used to be part of the CES — appropriate when you consider all the new technologies that enhance adult entertainment. Some people even say the porn industry drives new technology, using the VHS v. Betamax battle of the 80s as a prime example.

With 350 exhibitors packed into two large exhibit halls at the AAE, there was plenty to see for industry members and fans alike. The show is open to trade and media only on Thursday and Friday, and to fans, enthusiasts and curious onlookers over the weekend. A series of panels for fans educated attendees on everything from using sex toys to joining the industry as a producer, director—even a star!

Of course, a highlight of the show each year is the live talent signing autographs for fans. Sasha Grey and Jesse Jane of Digital Playground’s Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenge were onhand, along with Tera Patrick, Eva Angelina and, oh, about 250 other sexy performers, male and female.

The AAE and Las Vegas was also home to the 2009 AVN Awards, hosted by Belladonna and Jenna Haze. Click here to see a complete list of this year’s winners in every category of porn.

Various sources mentioned a slow-down of business this year due to the economy, with some major companies scaling down their presence and some smaller companies skipping the show altogether. The AVN reported an 18 percent drop in exhibitor attendance, according to this article on Variety.com.

Mind you, there wasn’t enough of a drop to require a government bailout or anything, but according to some observers, giveaways were also scarce this year.

The adult toy industry, however, continues to thrive, with many manufacturers and retailers filling the exhibit hall with all manner of dildos, vibes, battery-operated or hand-powered devices.

We talked about hot technology products available here at Vibrator.com in this post. This year, the buzz (so to speak) on the show floor at the AAE centered around products like the Real Touch, a life-like masturbator (complete with that warm, moist feeling) synced with a video. The ohMiBod, a wireless vibe that hooks up to your MP3 and pulsates in rhythm with your choice of tunes, continues to evoke oohs and aahs. More lifelike images (and feelings); music, music, music; and a more customized, realistic experience are the trends in porn toys this year.

As far as visual quality, however, most of the manufacturers are moving away from HD. The trend seems to be toward convenience over quality, with movies from Digital Playground and other major production companies available for download on the iPhone or iPod Touch. (Hmm… downloading adult vids to your Touch gives whole new meaning to the name of that handy device!) This, in spite of the fact that Apple remains steadfast in not allowing porn apps for the iPhone / iPod… Porn on the go? On demand? With or without Apple’s blessing, people will find a way.

Speaking of visuals, what’s a write-up of the AAE without pix, right? Here are some places to find all the T&A and famous faces you may have missed. With the Internet at our fingertips, who says anything has to “stay in Vegas?”

http://www.lasvegasvegas.com/2009/01/avn_2009_las_vegas_adult_enter.php
http://g4tv.com/attackoftheshow/blog/post/692668/Pictures-From-AEE-2009.html

For more information about the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo or to look into attending next year’s show at the Sands Expo Center January 7 – 10, 2010, go to www.adultentertainmentexpo.com.

How to Make a Porno, Part 2

In a previous post, How to Make a Porno, Part 1, we covered what you need to put together your own X-rated masterpiece. This post will talk about camera angles, video editing, and what to do with your porn once it’s produced.

You’re ready to film! The most important thing to remember is to relax. You can forget the camera’s there if it will make you feel better, or you might want to ham it up and peer seductively at the lens for an uber-sexy shot. Don’t forget to striptease for the camera. Shoes, if they are sexy stilettos, can stay on for the duration of the scene.

Some shots are a standard in most porno flicks. You may want to include some (or all) of these:

Close-up of penetration – For a really sexy view, have the woman place one leg on a sofa, and then hold the camera down below, pointing upward.

Masturbation shots – These are even hotter when they take place during penetration. Try different angles to get the best view.

Spanking – Mild BDSM, including spanking or simple restraints, gives your video that naughty, “more than vanilla” feel.

Don’t forget to pan up to capture facial expressions, especially when she cums.

Cum shots – You can’t go wrong with a facial. Or a nice, dripping wet cream pie. Another favorite is to cum on her tits and then have her rub it all over herself, and letting her pause to lick her fingers. These final moments can put your amateur film over-the-top, so to speak, so you’ll want to make sure it’s a moment to remember. Take a few minutes before you start your film to discuss and decide how you want it to end.

To keep it interesting, remember to switch positions and camera angles often. No one (probably not even the movie-makers) wants to watch two people banging in missionary position for 20 minutes.

If you have basic video editing software, you can keep the best scenes and toss the ones you don’t like, or cut any scene that goes too long. You can also use editing software to cut from scene to scene, avoiding any on-screen panning and zooming, which can make some viewers dizzy or ill. But by leaving in all the transitions, you’ll give your movie a homemade “Cloverfield” feel.

You can also play around with lighting for some cool effects, or go for a darker look, perhaps with faces in the shadows.

Now that you’ve made your very first porno, you can think about avenues of distribution… Just kidding! The safest place for your homemade porn is a file folder buried a few levels deep on your computer’s hard drive, with some innocuous name that makes sense only to you and your partner. Or you can simply burn a DVD and keep it in the bottom of a dresser drawer.

If you decide you really want to share your work of art with the world, remember—it’s potentially very easy for people to stumble across your DVD if you post it on YouTube, even if you don’t use your name. Would you really want a co-worker to see how you spent your weekend?

Hollywood Exhibit Celebrates Mainstreaming of Porn

I’m sitting here watching Lifetime’s The Secret Lives of Women. It is about swingers. Last week’s episode focused on prostitution. In the beginning of January, G4’s Attack of the Show team covered the Adult Entertainment Expo for the second year running, showcasing products such as the Boob bong on the air during prime time. Is porn really going mainstream?

My personal and professional opinion as an astute member of the media—both mainstream and erotic? Yes. And it has been for some time.

Is this a bad thing? Not for the millions of “mainstream” men and women looking to add some excitement into their love lives. I’m sure for every couple who might shake their heads in disgust – or at least say “not for me”—if they came across the Secret Lives of Women while channel surfing one night, just as many would be intrigued. They might not be ready to place an ad on Craigslist to find another couple to play with or call up her best friend for a ménage a trois, but the idea might spark an interesting conversation about fantasies and boundaries.

The trend has been going on for quite some time. We have multiple modern-day examples. My Bare Lady, a FOX series, focused on blossoming porn stars trying to make it big. The next year, Ron Jeremy was one of the stars in The Surreal Life.

More recently, the Sex and the City movie showed full frontal male nudity and still garnered a mere “R” rating. Years before, Carrie Bradshaw made talk of Rabbit vibes acceptable at the office water cooler. And let’s face it… the Internet makes porn accessible to anyone with a computer, Internet connection, and two fingers to type “tits” or “pussy.”

But the mainstreaming of porn pre-dates reality T.V. and the Internet, and a new exhibit at the World of Wonder’s storefront gallery in L.A. drives home the point. The exhibit “All-American Porn: 25 Years of Erotic Photography from Vivid Entertainment” opens February 14 with a Valentine’s Day cocktail party from 7PM – 11PM. Guests will be able to meet Vivid Girls and also enjoy a screening of excerpts from “Deeper Throat,” Vivid’s third premium cable TV series which debuts that evening.

On February 19, a free panel discussion hosted by World of Wonder co-founder Fenton Bailey explores topics such as: How Vivid became the world’s top adult studio offered by the company’s co-founder and co-chairman Steven Hirsch; How to direct an adult movie, presented by legendary director Paul Thomas; and What it takes to be an adult superstar with inside tips from Vivid Girls.

Vivid was the first company to bring porn into the mainstream, creating adult films with high product values and turning the performers into “stars” with the creation of the Vivid Girls. Since “Ginger” starring Ginger Lynn was released in 1984, the face of porn—at least as far as adult films went—changed. Explicit images on the front of VHS tapes gave way to artful photography of gorgeous women that—you guessed it—had mainstream appeal. Years later, Vivid was the first production company to offer titles targeted to couples.

So you could say porn’s been “mainstream” for more than a quarter of a century. But  what I find so ironic is that people who enjoy sex are not—and never were—freaks! In fact, I don’t think there’s anything not mainstream about buying a vibrator or reading a sex blog.

Although I write for Vibrator.com, love shopping for sex toys, and have had a few experiences swinging, I consider myself to be pretty “mainstream.” In a lot of ways, my love for science fiction is more “fringe” than my healthy sexual appetite. (Yes, another confession from Desiree Sweet: I’m a closet Trekkie!)

As a group, Americans have always been more conservative about sex and nudity than, say, Europeans. Maybe we’re just now catching up to the rest of the world.

What do you think? Is porn getting more and more mainstream or are Americans—perhaps with the exception of Facebook—just getting less uptight?

How To Make a Porno, Part 1

Today’s technology makes it easy to become the next Jules Jordan right in your living room. Even if you don’t have a video camera with all the bells and whistles, many digital cameras have a video function that works perfectly well to shoot short movies for you and your partner (or anyone else you desire) to view later.

So what are the must-haves to make your own porno?

A camera – A small digital camera or a Web cam will do the trick.

Good lighting – Sure, you can shoot in dim light with lots of shadows, but for better quality, you’ll want a bright room with the light sources placed in front of the performers.

A room - You don’t need a fancy movie set, but a nice room with a bed or couch, and no dirty laundry or pizza boxes strewn about, can help set the scene. In my favorite homemade porno background, a porn DVD plays on a big screen TV in the corner of the room. Stay away from busy designs, such as patterned sheets; the emphasis should be on the performers.

Two people – Or just one.  Or three or more.  It’s your movie, it’s up to you.

Imagination – Go ahead, try different positions for the camera.  Shoot from different angles.  Pan in.  Zoom out. Use toys.

These are the essentials to make your own porn.  What else can help you set your sexy scenes apart?

Life is a lot easier with a tripod or a third person to hold the camera. If you’re using a tripod, a remote on/off control is a nice feature. Just make sure to frame the shot before you get into position, so you don’t get 15 minutes of captivating footage of… that spot on the carpet. You can always place the camera on a dresser if you don’t have a tripod.

If you don’t have a tripod, a cameraperson, or just a flat surface in view of the bed, take turns holding the camera. Point-of-view shots are very sexy. There’s even a whole genre of porn devoted to this style of movie.  Trade off with your partner to get both perspectives, or film the whole thing in a mirror for a great view of all participants.

If you really want to have fun, incorporate role-playing into your movie with a script of some sort. You don’t have to write it out and memorize lines. Just come up with a general plot and characters, and act out what comes naturally. Live out a fantasy you’ve always imagined, from Doctor and Nurse to Cabana Boy and Hollywood Model. Set the scene with a few lines, and then move on to the main attraction. Visit a past post for more tips on role-playing fun.

The best movies are made even better with a good soundtrack. Play your favorite tunes in the background, or add music later. Anything with a good, pounding beat works best. You can give your movie that home-made, rough-cut feel with no music, and that’s okay, too. Fill the silence with moans, groans and dirty talk!

Stay tuned for tips on how to create, edit and store your homemade porn.

Gerbiling: Is It Possible?

So I have been brainstorming for a few days, trying to think of something enthralling to share as my first post here. So many topics have been covered that it is hard to step in, even as a guest, with something interesting to share. Ever have stage fright? Guesting is like being on stage, a huge, world-wide one!

My first thought was to examine fetishes. I enjoy fetishes, all types. From foot worship to looning-(see the previous post on unknown fetishes), if it is a fetish, I want to know about it! Hell, sex is just a really cool topic. But there are places even I have never gone. That is where I want to go now and take you with me.

Take my hand, darlings, we’re going to take a walk on the dark side of sex. First stop, the pet shop. Here we will pick up a gerbil or two. For research purposes only, you understand.

Yes, I am talking about Gerbiling. If you are not familiar with the term, Gerbiling is the act of introducing a live gerbil into the anus, (usually a gay male in the urban legends),  for pleasure. The legends claim a rodent will thrash around, stimulating the prostate until an unbelievable orgasm is reached. The same legends state that the gerbil is forced into the rectum with a wet toilet paper tube.

When I first heard all of this my first reaction was- “Bullshit. Even if you could push a toilet paper tube, a wet one at that, up your ass, why the fuck would anyone want to put something like a rat in there?” Of course, the answer I got back was, “Because they are GAY.”

What the F?

I have to say, I am pretty tight with more than a few gay guys and lesbians. A couple of the lesbians I am more than tight with.  No one has ever attempted to give a hamster a home in their asshole.  Being gay does not mean all manner of animals or objects go into the booty, you know?

I did get to wondering if it was even possible to gerbil. After a lot of research here is what I have come up with: NO.

Why? Here are a few reasons:

1. Your asshole is designed to push things out. When putting things in, the end should be tapered like a cock, butt plug, or dildo. The end of a toilet paper tube is not going in, not without a speculum, a lot of lube, and probably not even then.
2. Gerbils have teeth and claws. Big teeth. Either one of those will cause some serious damage to the inside of the anus. Ow?
3. Who is going to take the time to tape up a gerbil, then lube it enough so that it will slide in (vibrators cost less than a gerbil and will do a better job on the prostate than a thrashing rodent).

I am sure someone will come along and insist they know someone who has Gerbiled. But until I see photos that are not Photoshopped or a video that is not edited, the answer is NO, Gerbiling just is not possible.

On a side note, Gerbiling has driven my Word program nuts. I must write Microsoft about that.

We All Have Our Vices… Mine Takes Batteries

I didn’t plan to buy a vibrator last weekend.

In fact, our tour de adult shops focused on one very specific goal—finding thigh high leather boots for my best friend’s honeymoon.

Our quest took us to a three-story shop with an adult store on the lower level, and all manner of Wiccan, goth and “drug culture” memorabilia on the main retail floor. Looking for tarot cards, incense and a spiked collar? You’d find it here, along with an entire wall of leather boots.

In our mid-to-late 30s, my best friend and I were the oldest people in this store. And the only ones not clothed in black, with hair dyed in fluorescent colors. Imagine an X-rated video section tucked in the corner of Hot Topic, and you’ve got a pretty good description of this place. The phrase “Head shop with an identity crisis” also comes to mind.

When I spotted a Doc Johnson wireless remote control vibe for a little over $50, I couldn’t turn it down. But let me be clear: we were not in your usual adult video store, nor did the clientele represent the typical adult store demographic.

Every adult store has the resident overcoated perv in the corner ogling female customers, the quiet couple browsing the how-to videos, the twenty-something loner seeking something to keep him busy Saturday night, and the gaggle of bachelorette party babes giggling over the penis drink stirrers.

My first clue that something was amiss came right after I paid. The 19-year-old (at least, he looked 19) behind the counter put the toy in a paper bag, handed it to me and sent me on my way.

As anyone who’s purchased adult toys knows, they are non-refundable (quite understandably) and the clerk usually puts batteries in to make sure it works before you leave the store. I’m not thrilled with the idea of the fat, hairy middle-aged guy usually behind the counter in an adult store handling such an intimate item, but it’s better than being out $50 if the vibrator is defective. (Incidentally, Vibrator.com has a special, and very fair, return policy. You may write in to request a refund or exchange if your merchandise does not work… but back to our story! )

“Aren’t you going to make sure it works?” I asked the clerk.

His eyes gazed blankly at me. “Oh,” he said, slowly. Everything he did was slow. I’m not passing judgment or making assumptions, but I can’t help but think he frequently tested the “tobacco products” for sale in the store. “I suppose we should,” he said.

This isn’t your normal vibrator with a few AA batteries. Six watch batteries power the egg while a CR2, commonly used in digital cameras, powers the controller.

I tried to hide an expression that was half-smirk, half-grimace as I watched him putting six batteries smaller than my thumb into the small, egg-shaped contraption. I offered to help. Clearly uncomfortable handling the sex toy, he heaved a sigh and handed it to me.

I installed the batteries and pushed the button. Nothing.

A line has formed behind us, two twenty-something men with a question about a tobacco pipe and some kids buying rolling paper (for tobacco, of course.) Everything in the store is to be used only for tobacco, it is noted on signs taped to the wall.

I suspected one of the batteries might be facing the wrong way. I opened the egg and promptly dropped the batteries (all six) on the floor. I bent down to pick them up, knocking into the man behind me. My best friend giggled; I joined her.

Apparently, the spectacle of two women buying a vibrator became far more interesting than tobacco pipes, and everyone in the store gathered around to see if we could get the toy working.

After taking out and putting in the batteries three times—and checking the single battery in the remote, as well–we suggested to the clerk that the vibrator may be broken. Stumped, he called the manager.

The manager brought us a new vibrator, opened the package, started the process again.

“Does each remote work only on the egg it’s sold with?” I asked, my imagination running wild at the possibilities if one remote can control more than one vibrator.

“Of course,” the manager replied, giving me an odd look. “They’re all coded differently.” Adult novelty items are a recent addition to the shop, and I can tell he’s second-guessing the decision to carry them.

“That would be like a comedy skit if one remote controlled more than one vibrator!” my friend said, painting a verbal picture of women in a restaurant jumping and orgasming at sporadic intervals.

“It could make for an interesting evening!” I said, laughing.

A moment later, the egg I had in my hand—from the first, broken vibrator—began buzzing, as did the one in the manager’s hand. Letting out a girlish squeal, I dropped the toy and it fell just the right way to roll beneath the counter.

“I guess the remotes do work on more than one!” my friend observed.

Twenty minutes later, we managed to leave the store with a working vibrator and a modicum of dignity. Until we ran into the guys so amused by our antics. “Have fun with that!” they said as we walked out the door together.

Yes, from now on, I am definitely doing all my shopping for sex toys online.