Sticky Situations

The Internet is a funny place. (Okay, hang on and I’ll tell you something you don’t know.)

I’m talking, specifically, of how old news gets re-posted and recycled years later for continued debate. It’s even funnier when the story wasn’t true in the first place.

Since my co-blogger already busted the myth about gerbilling – which, admittedly, was circulating long before the Internet — what’s left?

A story that originated several years ago has now been revitalized due to our current economic climate: Since Germany legalized prostitution in 2002, the tale goes, a woman can be denied her unemployment benefits if she refuses a job in a brothel.

We’re not just talking about a hypothetical case, either. As The Telegraph, a UK paper reported, a 25-year-old unemployed IT professional phoned a brothel for a job after the job center said the establishment expressed interest in her profile. She thought she was calling a restaurant/bar and answering their ad or a waitress. By German law, any woman under 55 who has been out of work longer than a year must take any job offered. According to the article, the government considered exempting brothels from the law on moral grounds, but found it to hard to distinguish them from bars.

Thanks to Snopes.com, we find the story isn’t true—at least not quite. While theoretically, if a brothel were to recruit employees through a job centre, and a woman under 55 who had been unemployed more than a year refused the job, she could lose her benefits. But most job centres, according to Snopes, refused listings from brothels, to avoid putting a woman in such a predicament.

The actual waitress this allegedly happened to? It turned out to be a computer error and as soon as real-life bureacrats discovered the situation, they pulled the ad and permitted the woman to keep her benefits.

Of course, the topic begs the question: Is it fair to require someone to work in a job that contradicts their morals? If the waitress in question, for instance, were a vegan, should she be forced to work in a steakhouse?

But it also opens a host of other questions, not all of them related to morality and personal freedoms.

I’ve often joked that, should society collapse, there won’t be much of a need for bloggers, journalists and other freelance writers. (Fiction writers? More likely. There’s always something to be said for escapism and the town bard will always find welcome company, a warm bed and a cold beverage.)

Barring freelance writing, I have precisely one other skill.

I find it a compelling philosophical question: If prostitution was legal in the U.S., regulated, relatively safe and the pay was good, would I do it?

My answer: “Why not?”

I’ve always been intrigued by exotic dancers… not so much their moves, which I could never replicate, but their motives. During my one experience with a semi-private dancer, I found myself talking to a lovely Australian girl who was working her way through law school as a stripper.

That’s stripping, some may say. Sex is a whole different animal (so to speak).
I’m not talking about sex with animals, of course, just plain old garden variety men and women. And my answer is still, “Why not?”

That doesn’t mean, however, that I would force others into the job if they were uncomfortable with it, which brings us back to that whole sticky situation of forcing people to work in jobs they find morally offensive rather than collect unemployment.

For me, that would be a job as a telemarketer, which is far more morally reprehensible than sex with strangers.

What about you, dear readers? How bad would the economy have to get before you would consider sex as a means of income? And what job would be worse than prostitution?

Making Time for Sex

Many factors can dampen someone’s sex drive, including stressful events in your life. Late last year I posted some tips on how to boost your sex drive if stress has created problems in the bedroom. But what if a busy life has just left you flat-out too tired to tango?

This can happen to many couples, including:

-    new parents
-    people working two jobs because of the economy
-    couples caring for aging parents
-    anyone trying to manage a job, family life, and time for themselves!

If you fall into one of these categories, or many I haven’t thought of, there’s still hope for your sex life. Instead of thinking about creating the perfect romantic environment for a night of lovemaking, carve out time in your busy life for quickies. Steal moments whenever (and wherever!) you can.

Working too much? Schedule a lunchtime rendezvous.

Got kids? Remember, a locking bedroom door is your friend, but so is the shower, or that SUV parked in the garage. Check out this post to find other ideas for sex in strange places.

The bottom line? Make sex a priority, and then get creative and work together to find the time for it in your life.

These tips will help you speed up the process in order to get excited, get in, get satisfied and get out before the next emergency needs your attention.

· Gear up beforehand. Start dropping hints in the morning that promise your lover you will find a time for romance come evening. Leave cute notes where he’ll find them, or send him a dirty e-mail. (Make sure not to send it to his work account). Anticipation will make it easier to get revved up for an evening quickie.

·    Use toys and props. Do you typically need a while to get wet? Powerful clitoral vibes offer speedy satisfaction to get you ready for the main attraction, even making multiple orgasms a likely possibility.

·    Use lube. A little lube can also go a long way to get the party started.

·    Fantasize. Just like little teasing love notes, keeping sexy thoughts in your mind throughout the day will make it easier for you to gear up when you can steal a few minutes alone at night.

·    Wear sexy underwear. It sounds cliché, but try it! The feel of soft silk rubbing against your skin all day will make it very easy to get in the mood come evening. You can also take that idea to the next level and insert geisha balls an hour or two before lovemaking… few women would be able to stand the sexy feeling of geisha balls, also called Ben Wa Balls, filling them up all day long. You can remove the balls before sex, or keep them in for a special treat.

Hitachi Magic Wand Review by Beautiful Dreamer

Hitachi Magic Wand reviewed by Beautiful Dreamer

Strippers Wanted?

Think the weak economy isn’t affecting the sex industry? Larry Flynt’s opinions on the matter aside, it really is. But unlike other fields where the outlook appears mostly gloomy, the effects are both positive and negative.

For instance, the Rhode Island strip club chain Foxy Lady is holding a job fair to fill positions at its Providence club and two other clubs in Massachusetts. According to the AP report picked up by Yahoo Finance, the club needs strippers, waitresses, DJs and bartenders.

With Rhode Island’s unemployment rate of 10.3 percent, it presumably won’t be hard to find candidates. Who would have thought of local strip clubs performing a public service in these hard times and providing jobs when other industries are laying people off en masse? This circumstantial evidence seems to tell us that the sex industry is doing just fine, thank you.

“Sin Industries” Up

In hard times, the so-called “sin industries” (along with, on the opposite end of that spectrum, churches) do well. Many people drink, gamble and have sex to forget their problems and to escape from the harsh realities of life. The rest go to church.

Some do both, but I’m not here to pass judgment.

An article in The Atlantic pondered the question “Is Porn Recession Proof?” The porn industry’s first hedge fund, AdultVest, is apparently up 50 percent this year, so, again, the answer might be “yes.”  Or at least a definitive, “Sort of.”

The Atlantic article came out a long three months ago, though, and now it seems even strippers are feeling the pinch.

Hard Times
An article posted on AtlantaStripClubs.net quotes Angelina Spencer, national executive director of the Association of Club Executives, as saying that she’s receiving calls everyday from strip club owners concerned with declining attendance and a decrease in sales of food, lapdances and liquor.

In today’s global economy, it’s not just strip clubs here in the states that are hurting. Cited as “desperate measures” by German publication Spiegel Online International, a brothel in Berlin has begun offering flat-rate services.

Like so many restaurants now offering discounts and nightly specials to compete in this economy, the “Pussy Club” offers clients unlimited access to the ladies, along with all they can eat (off the food menu!) and all they can drink. The special runs only during off-peak hours, but so far, according to a spokesperson for the club who says “business is normal,” it hasn’t driven more customers to the club.

What to Cut?
In a poll in February’s Money Magazine, 20 percent of the people surveyed said they were unwilling to give up “fine wine and spirits” in this economy. It was number five on a list that was topped by “gym memberships.”

If you were wondering, topping the list of things people are willing to sacrifice due to tighter budgets was that new gadget, followed closely by sporting events. Adult entertainment didn’t make either list, but I’m guessing it wasn’t a choice on the survey.

So I’m asking you, Vibrator.com blog readers: Have you cut back on your adult entertainment budget (whether it’s videos, apparel,  sex toys or strippers) due to the economy? If not, in what other areas of life have you tightened the purse strings to afford your adult hobbies?

Flying Phalluses and Other Strange Sex News

I once had a co-worker who saw penises in strange places. For instance, there’s a rather phallic-looking tree on a major roadway leading to an annual industry event. Of course, my co-worker was the first to notice it. I won’t comment on the level of sexual frustration that leads a middle-aged woman to spot penises in the most unusual places.

She was also the first one in my circle of contacts to circulate this photo, of a snow penis.  In fact, I was surprised she hadn’t seen the real thing (so to speak) in her travels and snapped the photo herself.

She did come back from a road trip one weekend with pictures of rather well-endowed horses she spotted on the side of the road. And now, dear readers, you’re starting to get an idea of why Desiree Sweet chooses to work from home. But speaking of horses and penises… (that’s a segue I bet you never thought you’d read)…

The Horse and the Flying Sex Toy
A police horse in Wichita, Kansas, wasn’t quite as amused as my co-worker may have been when it got hit by a giant inflatable penis. “Who would throw an inflatable penis at a police horse?” you might wonder. A very drunk 24-year-old man at a bachelorette party.

Yes, you read that right. According to this report, the Eastborough man, a brother to one of the women in attendance, was playing with a five-foot inflatable penis when he accidentally (we presume) launched the giant phallus toward the police horse, who, predictably, got spooked.

The man was arrested for battery of a law enforcement officer – that would be, for hitting the horse with the sex prop.

Sad as it may be, that story is not so strange as the one in the U.K. Sun about a Berkshire, England, man who received a call that someone had painted a giant penis on his roof.

Rooftop Fertility Symbols
54-year-old Andy McInnes thought it was a practical joke when the UK Sun informed him that a helicopter pilot spotted the 60-foot Johnson on the roof of his $1.5 million home.

Turns out, his 18-year-old son, Rory, painted the penis on the roof in hopes of making the house stand out in the aerial images published on Google Earth. But in England, the Cerne Abbas Giant is also regarded as a fertility symbol. Rory’s mother, 49-year-old Clare McInnes, called the idea of sleeping under a giant fertility symbol “rather worrying.” With a son like Rory, I can’t say I blame them for that.

Meanwhile, his father noted that Rory will have some scrubbing to do when he returns home from his trip to Brazil.

So, dear Vibrator.com readers, I leave you with this question: Would rubbing off a 60-foot penis be considered the world’s largest hand job?

Wallpaper Magazine and Robbie Cooper Want YOU

I got this in my Inbox the other day and I wanted to inform our readers and followers about a very interesting casting call in New York this weekend.  Read the details below, and if nothing else, check out British photographer Robbie Cooper and his fascinating work!

Immersion Project Casting
Casting email: Immersioncasting@gmail.com

Wallpaper Magazine – Editorial/Art Project Seeking Interesting Subjects Reacting to Adult Videos – New York City

Men and Women, 18+, all ethnicities, all outgoing types (hip/edgy, conservative, etc) needed for a Wallpaper Magazine Editorial/Art project. Reactions will be recorded only from the chest up, while the subject, in a separate, private room, is viewing pornography/sexual content (either DVD or internet). Beautifully lit head-and-shoulders portraits will be recorded of the participants. The video that they’re watching will not be visible.

This project is a continuation of a project called “IMMERSION” where the director isolates the subject from the camera and records the natural reactions. The project will be featured in Wallpaper magazine (publication and online) and possibly featured in art galleries as well. This is an innovative, provocative, challenging art project.

To read and view more regarding the technique and feel of IMMERSION, visit:
http://www.robbiecooper.org

click on Simulations
click on Immersions
click on Photos (bottom right)
click on Play Video (bottom right) this video is kids’ reactions while playing video games.

Shoot date(s): on or around April 11 or 12
Usage: Wallpaper Magazine, editorial publication, and online usage, possible art gallery

To apply, please email immersioncasting@gmail.com
Include your
Name
Age
Contact number
Current/recent photo or headshot

Practice Safe Sex

No, this isn’t a post about condoms. Who knew sex toys in the hands (and other anatomy parts) of certain people could be so dangerous?

TheBayNet.com, a local news Web site covering Calvert, St. Mary’s and Charles County, Maryland, reported that a Maryland woman was airlifted to Prince George’s Hospital after an accident involving a vibrator attached to a reciprocating saw blade. According to the report, the blade (quite predictably) sawed through the plastic toy and severely wounded the woman.

The act, however poorly thought-out, was entirely consensual and no charges were pressed.

My question: If the woman was damaged beyond the ability to procreate any longer, can she be nominated as the only living recipient of a Darwin Award?

But what else do you need to know about sex toy safety? (Aside from the obvious: blades sharp enough to cut through wood and metal should not be used in sex play!)

- Make sure a toy is waterproof before you put it in the water. Hint: if it’s got wires and an A/C adapter, it’s not waterproof! Battery-operated toys will specify on the packaging whether or not they are manufactured for water play.

- Butt plugs have wide bases for a reason. Do not insert them past that base, or you risk a rather embarrassing trip to the ER. And it’s happened. According to this article, in fact, it happens quite often.

- Do not place anything other than a sex toy designed for that purpose into any orifice. That means gerbils, food items (which can cause infections), or anything that could, well, get stuck up there. If you feel an urge to insert anything other than a sex toy, there are vibrators available shaped like cell phones, lipstick tubes, even a rubber ducky (and yes, it’s waterproof!)

- Clean all sex toys well before and after each use. As a general rule, most toys can be cleaned with a wet or damp cloth and mild soap or with an anti-bacterial toy cleaner. Only submerge toys which are waterproof. Read more about how to care for your sex toys here.

- Never use a toy in your vagina that’s been used in your (or someone else’s) ass before cleaning. You risk a nasty urinary tract infection due to bacteria.

- Be aware of the potential hazards of phthalate-based sex toys (often called jelly rubber.) While this flexible, silky material feels great the use pthalates in women of child-bearing age has been linked to birth defects. Additionally, the material, which is porous, can harbor bacteria and other germs. You may want to cover your phthalate-based sex toy with a condom. Carefully inspect all sex toys—but especially phthalate-based toys—for signs of wear or discoloration before use.

- Glass sex toys can crack or splinter. Inspect all glass toys before use. If you drop a glass toy on a hard surface, it is no longer safe to use, as it could crack unexpectedly from the stress of being dropped.

- Candles can be beautiful to create a romantic setting, and if you’re into BDSM, you can do all sorts of fun things with the wax, too. But accidents can happen, so keep a fire extinguisher close by if you are burning candles, and never leave a burning candle unattended. Make sure to extinguish before you fall asleep, as well.

Some of these pointers may seem obvious, but, in the heat of the moment, (or when alcohol is involved in sex play) everyone can use a reminder every once in a while. Be safe and have fun!