How to Get Turned on to Ben Wa Balls

With all the horror stories on the Internet about women who get ben-wa balls stuck you know where, the ancient Eastern sex toy may seem a little intimidating.

Sit back, relax… or perhaps lie down, and let me tell you about my first experience with Ben Wa Balls.

Cool textures, smooth feel
I admit after reading the horror stories, I was a bit tentative. The idea of the ben wa balls also didn’t seem very comfortable at first. First, I added some lubricant to the balls, because, honestly, I didn’t see these going in easily without any. I began masturbating with the balls, enjoying the ridged texture and the cool smoothness of the plastic. The weighted balls had a nice — very nice — feel and I soon enjoyed banging them against myself.

I’d often watched porn where a woman enjoys having someone smack her clit — or doing it herself. The balls provided that pulsing sensation without the sting.

It wasn’t long before I was wet enough to insert them easily. And they didn’t need as much lube as I thought. (But I still hold to the adage that you can never, ever have enough lube.)

Once the ben wa balls were inside, I have to admit, they didn’t provide as much pleasure as I thought they would, immediately. Ben wa balls are not a passive sex toy, where you lie there and let them do the work. In fact, they take a bit of creativity — and knowing your body — to really get the most pleasure from them.

I started to go through my usual masturbation repertoire, while also moving the balls around by the string every so often. It was fun but I knew I was missing something.

Contrary to the balls getting stuck, they kept slipping out. Each time, I pushed them deeper, and that’s when the pleasure potential started to hit me. With the balls filling me completely, I began to imagine a lover’s cock inside me along with them. Yes… these balls had an appeal.

Believe What You Read…
I ramped up the hand motion and, as I started to come, I realized the entire purpose — or at least, one of the purposes — of ben wa balls. The ridges caressed the inside walls of my vagina as my body pulsated. The weights inside them seemed to give the balls a life of their own. I detected mild vibrations — not as strong as my favorite vibe, more like a gentle tickling sensation.

By this time, I’d become adept at moving the balls by moving my legs, and was able to manipulate them to keep the orgasm going for minutes of undulating pleasure. Each spasm created another spasm, waves of ecstasy, just as the advertisements promise.

Ben wa balls have several uses and I look forward to experimenting with them all. You can use ben wa balls:

• during masturbation
• during intercourse
• in your vagina during anal sex, to give you a full feeling at every angle
• for kegel exercises
• throughout the day — as you learn to manipulate the balls with subtle movements, you can bring yourself to orgasm anytime, anywhere.

It’s true that these toys require a little bit of knowledge about your body — and some degree of pelvic muscle control — to really enjoy them to their full potential. But once you unlock the secrets of these ancient toys, you’ll become a true afficianado. You may even begin to collect multiple sets of balls in different sizes, styles and materials.

Our Top Picks for Ben Wa Balls
Whether you’re buying your first set or adding to your collection, here are some of our favorite ben wa balls:

Doc Johnson’s Gold Ben Wa Balls – cool, classy, sexy and pthalate-free

Smartballs – my favorite for their texture unique texture and sturdy string for removal

Leopard Duotone Balls – wild and sexy

What’s been your experience with Ben Wa balls? Did they require practice, and did you like them?

One Good Reason to Lock Up Your Vibes

Have you ever had an embarrassing vibrator incident? Perhaps you didn’t remove the batteries and you found the toy turned on when you picked up your checked bags at the airport. Or maybe you left a dildo out when the cleaning lady came over. If you play with vibrators frequently, you probably have at least one embarrassing sex toy incident.

When you’re a parent, these embarrassing moments may involve kids.

Most parents of toddlers know what a challenge it is to find a few minutes alone to go to the bathroom. While he was watching his two-year-old son, my friend Jordan had to go. He brought his son into the master suite with him, closing the bedroom door so his son could wander in the bedroom while Jordan did his business in the attached bathroom.

Jordan knew there wasn’t anything in the master bedroom his son could get hurt on. But the room hadn’t exactly been babyproofed, either. It wasn’t long before Jordan heard dresser drawers and cabinet doors opening and closing.

Jordan began having misgivings about the idea but it was too late for him to get up and do anything about it. Then he heard a telltale buzzing sound. Then he heard his son giggle.

Yes. His toddler had found the wife’s vibrator. Buzz. “Giggle.” Buzz. Buzz. Child’s laughter.

From the bathroom, Jordan began calling his son. “Come here, kiddo. Let me see what you have there. Can you show it to Daddy?”

Of course, the more you want a toddler to do something, the less inclined he is to do it. Children sense this. They also somehow know when a parent is helpless to stop them. Jordan began looking around frantically for something to divert the boy’s attention. He found a toilet paper roll. “Come here, son…”

The boy stepped closer, still playing with the buttons on the vibe and giggling at the funny sounds. This new toy was far more interesting than a toilet paper roll. The boy stood just out of reach of Jordan, who was still pleading with the boy to give the item to Daddy.

Then, of course, Jordan’s son got ready to do another thing toddlers often do. Jordan leapt up from the bowl, trying to catch the boy and grab the vibrator. The toddler stood poised with the sex toy, still buzzing, in front of his open mouth, ready to give it the toddler taste test.

If this isn’t reason enough to buy a locking case for your vibrator collection, I don’t know what is. Even if you think you don’t have to lock up your toys because no one besides you and your partner ever enter the master bedroom and if they do, they surely won’t be rummaging through your dresser drawers — I’m sure Jordan thought the same thing.

Five Ways to Get Your Body Ready for Sex this Summer

Diet and nutrition programs seem to be everywhere lately. I know of at least three “Biggest Loser” style contests on the Web right now, and those are just ones I’ve heard about from friends without doing a Google search.

Summer’s here, and that means less clothes. Whether or not you’re donning a swimsuit this summer, you still want to look good in shorts, capris, or even just short sleeves.

But there’s even more incentive to slim down or tone up — to get your body sex-ready. The good news? You don’t need to go on a starvation diet to do it.

Little changes make a big difference when it comes to sex and weight loss. And feeling sexy really is just a state of mind.

Here are a few suggestions to get (or stay) slim and sexy this summer.

Lose (just a few) pounds. The docs at WebMD say that the more body fat you have, the more SHBG (se hormone binding globulin) you have. This natural chemical binds to testosterone, which could lead to decreased sex in both men and women. Losing as few as ten pounds can raise testosterone levels and stimulate desire.

Eat healthier. Good news. The foods that help you lose weight also stimulate your sex drive naturally. I’m not talking about aphrodisiacs like oysters and strawberries — well, okay, the strawberries can help, especially if they’re covered in dark chocolate. But a diet rich in fruits and vegetables helps regulate blood sugar and control your cholesterol. And healthy really is sexy. Add natural, slow-burning carbs like whole grains and high-protein, low fat foods and you’ll also have more energy for sex.

Get moving. Whether it’s a morning walk on the beach, an afternoon bike ride, or your favorite extreme sport, summer provides lots of opportunities for exercise. Just 20 minutes of exercise a day, 3 times a week, has libido-boosting effects, say those in the know at WebMD.

Envision yourself thin. As you envision yourself with the perfect body — and act as if you have it — you’ll find yourself doing those things naturally to give you that body. And as you act sexy, you’ll attract more sex into your life. Does this sound like the old “chicken and the egg” argument? (As in, which came first?) Thoughts come before action, so as you begin living a life filled with sexy thoughts, soon you’ll be living a life filled with sex — whatever your size. Even if you don’t feel confident, act that way. Hold your head high.

Embrace yourself as you are. I’m not talking about masturbation — although that’s a great way to get your engine primed for a close encounter. I mean that, as you “think yourself thin” every day, you are also accepting your body completely for what it is right now. Accepting your body and your sexuality — whether you are a size 2 or size 20 — makes you feel more desirable and that is how to really get heads turning as you walk by on the beach.