The One You Can’t Live Without Contest!

Vibes!

So the other day I wrote about my favorite sex toy.  Rabbits are my favorite style, and currently the Tripler is my favorite rabbit.  And so, in the spirit of favorite sex toys and ones we just couldn’t make do without, I’d like to assist a couple of you with getting one of those awesome toys that you just can’t make do without!!

So we’re having a CONTEST!!  Yay!!

To Enter

Leave one comment, telling me about your favorite sex toy, and why you love it so much.  You’ll need to convince me that you truly love the toy!  The most passionate entry(entries, as there’ll be 3 winners) will win!!  A couple rules about this:

- Try to be tasteful and use appropriate words (eg – vagina, penis, clit).

- Don’t be afraid to tell me that it makes you squirt, or that it finds your prostate without fail.

- I wanna hear it all!!Try to make it longer than just 2 or 3 sentences.

- Include a story if you will, to illustrate why you enjoy the toy so much!!

Rules

You must be of, or above the legal age of consent where you live.  (For most places this is 18 years old.)  Also, you can only enter once.  You also must be in the United States or Canada, where Vibrator.com ships.   The contest ends Friday July 15th at Midnight, Pacific Time. I will announce the winners on Saturday July 16th.   I will then email you, and will need a response with your mailing address within 48 hours, or another winner will have to be picked.

Prizes

Grand prize – $50 gift certificate for Vibrator.com

2 Runner’s Up – 1 $25 gift certificate for Vibrator.com (each will get 1)

SO ENTER BELOW!

Photo By: Twice Pix

The one sex toy I couldn’t live without…

Now… yes.  My favorite sex toy is my boyfriend.  However, when it comes to actual vibrators, rabbits are my favorite. I would go nuts without a good rabbit vibrator! (And when it comes to rabbits, my favorite is the L’Amour Tripler ) There are many reasons why I enjoy a good rabbit.

First off, it allows me to have both vaginal and clitoral stimulation without having to use two separate toys.  Holding a vibrator on my clit while also having vaginal stimulation can be logistically difficult.  There’s not a whole heck of a lot of room down there and so having more than one toy down there can be difficult.  Not only that but having to maneuver two toys at once, you can get rhythm going that works for one but not the other, and all sorts of stuff like that.

Secondly, my clitoris is very, very sensitive.  So this frequently can give me problems with over-stimulation and my clit being so sensitive I can’t stand any kind of touch on it.  So, having the “ticklers” that many rabbits boast frequently makes it easier for me to accept the stimulation as it’s usually not very intense.  For me, being able to genuinely be able to thoroughly enjoy clitoral stimulation without having to focus on simply being able to accept it is unique and a joy.

Thirdly, I love rabbits because so many of them have rotation settings on the shafts of the vibrators. Rotating rabbits and other similarly unique functioned rabbits offer one-of-a-kind experiences that many other sex toys don’t give.

Rabbits, of any kind, allow you to just insert, turn it on and lay back letting the toy do it’s job; give you incredible sexual sensations and pleasure and bring on orgasms that no other toy or stimulation will bring.

My favorite is the L’Amour Tripler .  What’s your favorite rabbit vibe??

Just how important is sex anyway? And why?

Something that I’ve been thinking a lot about lately is just how important to me, is having sex, anyway.  And I believe that there certainly is a level of importance to having a happy, healthy, satisfying sex life.  I’ve always been curious though, what it is about sex that makes it so important.  Is it the orgasms?  Sure they can be different, however, you can get orgasms through masturbation.

I think a lot of it has to do with feeling desired.  Our sense of how desirable we are is very wrapped up in whether or not someone will have sex with us.  Regardless if that is “right” or not, but it certainly makes sense.  However, our sense of being desired is so very tied up with our self worth that it can really negatively affect us.

There is also the sheer pleasure of it.  Sex is supposed to feel good, and for the most part it really does feel damn good!  I mean…orgasms are heavenly, building up to the orgasm is heavenly!  It’s all just wonderful and yummy and good feeling!!

Since we’ve gotten a mattress (just a couple days ago) we’ve had sex every day except one (it was over 100 degrees that day and we don’t have an air conditioner; it was just too damn hot to have sex).  And it’s been wonderful.  We have been happier, less stressed out and I’ve noticed these things in other aspects of life; working, just hanging out at home, and in our personal interactions.  We’ve been less cranky and feeling “looser” and more easy going, if not even simply more positive about everything.

For me, I have discovered that sex is important to me, emotional closeness aside, is stress relief.   For us, a good part of the reason we could have sex as much as we wanted to was due to not having a bed; with his bad knees and both of us having bad backs it’s difficult to have sex on the floor, and with the not-really-a-bed we’d been sleeping on we were relegated to only doggy style.  So being stuck with only one position plus the stress we’d been under .. no matter how much we wanted to .. well, we didn’t want to.

Now that we can choose what position(s) we use sex is more fun again.  We’ve already tried a new position that I absolutely love!  And added to that we can cuddle much more easily in bed again (when we’re not too hot to even hold hands).  I’m feeling closer to my boyfriend again, which is wonderful.  I think the problem for us was having the choice taken away from us.

So… as for how important sex is to me…I think it’s less that ensuring I have sex x-amount of times and more that I am able to express my sexuality when I need to in the ways I need and want to.

I’m loving sex again and am already looking forward to my boyfriend being home tonight; it’s cooled off again and I’m considering dressing up and being in something sexy for when he gets home from work.  Teehee….

How important is sex to you?  And why?

What makes sex good?

Now, I’m quite lucky in that I haven’t had much “bad” sex.  Basically, for me, any sex is good sex so long as it’s consensual and safe and all that.  So for me, a lot of it is a chosen mental state, rather than the actual quality of sex.  I suppose though, that there are physical factors of consensual intercourse that would cause it to be good versus bad.  So I suppose, in order for the sex to be good both parties would need to orgasm, yes?  Not really.  I think there needs to be more than that.

First off I think there needs to be fun.  Even if you’re having emotional make-up sex, or passionate been-teasing-each-other-all-day sex, you still need to be enjoying it.  Secondly, I think there needs to be more contact that just genital contact.  (Please keep in mind this is my opinion … )For me, if there’s no kissing or no caressing or things like that, it just removes something very ..intrinsic to a sexual encounter.  I may have the best orgasm ever, but there will still be something missing, something that’s really undefinable, something that’s probably more emotional than physical.  Not sure, body parts will graze each other, but for me it needs to be intentional touching/caressing.

I asked my boyfriend what, to him, does sex need to have in order for it to be “good” and he replied that first and foremost both parties would need to be satisfied to their own individual sexual gratification needs.  And I’d have to agree with him on that one.  As he pointed out, everybody has their own needs in order for sex to be ultimately satisfying for them.  For me, that’s deliberate touching, caressing and kissing.  For a good friend of mine, sex has to involve some sort of bdsm kink.  For my boyfriend it’s ensuring that I’ve had at least one full on, climax.  He’s unable to allow himself to have genuine sexual pleasure until I’ve had genuine sexual satisfaction.

For me I think that one of the most important things that really makes sex good for me is that my partner (my boyfriend now of course) is actually into it.  I know many who have gone to be solely because their partner was horny.  Now of course there is the aspect that a lot of the time I think you should try, at least see if a little foreplay can get you in the mood.  But if you’re not at that point mentally, then sex with a sense of obligation is one of those things that can lead to a whole host of unpleasantness.  But, sometimes you can simply oblige your partner by using a vibrator on them or giving a hand job or blow job.

Lastly I think, as does my boyfriend, that it’s important to always keep in mind that an orgasm or ejaculation does not mean “great” or “good” sex.  My boyfriend and I have had some of the most incredible sex that didn’t end with orgasm, climax or ejaculation.  You can have a huge ejaculation simply during masturbation.  Or even during sleep!  If you get too focused on the end result, you loose what’s happening in the now, and I can guarantee that you loose a lot of pleasure doing that.

In the end, what “good” sex is is not, in any way, universal. It’s all personal!  It’s what you find pleasurable and ensuring that you have that experience during your sexual encounters.  And because we each find different things pleasurable, and each of us finds different things pleasurable that ensures a lot of joy and variety in our sexcapades!

What, to you, is good sex?? Do share!

To laugh or not to laugh…

The last time my boyfriend and I had sex we enjoyed a lot of laughing.  So much laughing i was wondering if we were going to get pat it and actually get busy! It was fun though.  We poked at each other, picked on each other, laughed together and smiled a lot.  It was wonderful.

As much as slow, romantic situations are wonderful and passionate, spur of the moment quickies are incredible, it seems like that’s always what we want and we don’t let whatever happens, happen.  We get so wrapped up with everything having to be “just so.”   The thing is, the only “right” way to have sex is consensually.

One of my favorite things to do is to roll around in bed laughing with my boyfriend.  Whether or not we end up fornicating is not important.  It may take longer to get there, we may have a couple hiccups (last night I had grabbed onto his penis and then he turned away, though I didn’t know he was going to turn and I was laughing so I didn’t notice until it was too late and he goes “oowwwww”) but they create memories and things you can laugh at going forward.

The thing is, pretty sex doesn’t exist.  Sex is messy, usually loud, and involves exchanging bodily fluids.  You sweat, swear, scream, moan, maybe drool, get your make-up messed up, your hair becomes a mess and typically need a shower afterwards.  Not to mention, for women (especially if no condom is used) we get to enjoy having semen in us for a day of two, often dripping down our thighs.  Yea, sex is very messy.

My thought is that we need to worry less about it all and just enjoy what’s happening.  Don’t get caught up in “oh we were supposed to have sex!  Not laughing and making jokes!” or stuff like that.  Just go with the flow and enjoy spending time with your lover.  Believe me, the stress reduction will make all the difference.

The Benefits of Not Sleeping Together

For the first time in over 2 weeks my boyfriend and I slept in the same bed again.  Heh, if only the reason for us sleeping in different beds was exciting!  Truthfully it was ‘cuz he messed up his back and needed to sleep on something else, something with a different firmness.  It was really nice, sleeping with him again.  He’d been out of our bed for… gosh… probably 3 weeks.

When he laid down in bed with me it was almost like the first time we slept together; it was new and exciting.  I remember we turned and faced each other and joked around.  We giggled, poked and tickled each other, laughed, talked and ended up holding hands with our legs and arms intertwined.  It was wonderful.

It was so nice because it was like doing that was new again.  Sharing a bed with someone is really quite intimate, and like everything else, once it’s something that happens every single day and you get into a routine it becomes normal, less special.

At first, while I totally understood why he needed to switch his sleeping places I was still a little irritated.  No matter how much you know something there’s almost always that little voice in the back of your mind whispering negative things, eating away at your self confidence and what you know.  After a couple days I got used to it and truthfully I kind of enjoyed having the whole bed to myself.  There was even a small part of me a little disappointed that I would be relegated back to just my side of the bed.  However, once we got back into bed together it was wonderful, intimate and has increased our sexual desire for each other again.

I’m actually thinking of after a few months, we should do this again!  Whether or not it’d be him or me displaced doesn’t matter.  A couple weeks separate from each other can re-set the intimacy and desire again, and really help you appreciate the joys of sharing your sleeping space with someone.  If you’re stuck in one of those ruts, I highly recommend sleeping apart for a few nights.  While 2-3 weeks may be a bit much unless it’s for a back problem or something, just a few nights in the spare bedroom or on a couch can really help you to appreciate the subtle romanticism and the intense intimacy sleeping in the same bed with your lover has.

PDA, How Much Is Too Much?

Too much? Just right? Could do more? Whats your opinion?

One thing I hate is watching people make out in public.  To me it’s distasteful and especially when there’s children around I feel it’s very inappropriate.  In the end, it’s really a personal and moral opinion/decision, that’s mine.

Now don’t get me wrong; I frequently hold my boyfriends hand while we’re in a store, or walking or whatever.  We’ll kiss once and a while, maybe while waiting in line somewhere or just when the mood takes us.  However the thing to remember is that it’s just a small, short kiss.  Press-lips-together-then-pull-apart-with-a-smacking-sound type kiss.  Not a 60 second spit-swapping episode.

I love showing affection to my boyfriend, even if it’s just a cursory brush of my hand across his ass.  I’ve been known to give it a good grab while in a store as well; if the aisle or immediately surrounding area is empty.  I suppose part of it is a tad of possession; he’s mine dammit!  At least that’s the feeling he says he gets from me frequently when I do it, especially if the store is busy and full.  But I certainly don’t grab his dick or shove my tongue down his throat.

For me, seeing two people playing tonsil hockey, or trying to crawl into each other’s clothes, or having their hand down their partner’s pants or up their skirt, while in a fully public place is disgusting.  If I want to see that, I’ll watch porn.  *Now* YES. I can and always do look away.  However, there can be children around seeing it or those who don’t know to look away (think those who are mentally challenged).  They could easily try to replicate what they saw, thinking that it’s normal behavior and not know any better.

This really is such a touchy subject and it’s difficult to fully express one’s feelings on it and not sound like a prude or pro-censorship, as I’m neither.  I just feel that there’s a time and place for all things and the supermarket is not the place for a make-out session or some dry humping.

If you are like me and do enjoy some public fun though; there’s plenty of places to go where you can be away from view or even in a place where it’s acceptable to do things like that!  Think an adult party, an orgy or hell, even a restroom at the park or in a tent at a camp ground.  You’re still in public, for most of those places you need to be quiet and you can still get fresh with each other without having children see.  And hopefully you won’t be arrested for lewd and lascivious behavior.

Thing is, while yes, we have a right to behave according to our own lifestyle, we still do affect others, especially while in public, and we need to take that into account.

This is my own personal opinion about the subject and we each have a right to have our own opinion.  What’s yours about public displays of affection?? Do you not have any problem with those who are basically making out in the cereal aisle? I truly can see where someone wouldn’t have a problem though I think a secluded area in a woodsy park is a better place for that.

When the unthinkable happens….

….and you fart during sex…what do you do?  Well, if I’ve farted during sex I tend to ignore it.  Especially if we’re not in doggy style.  Granted if my boyfriend is giving me oral sex then I will warn him and have him move.  Farting on his face is just… well, yea.  Rude.  Icky.  Heck, there’s been a time or two where I’ve had to shout “stop stop stop!!” and get up and hurridly run to the bathroom so I could pee.

I’ve burped during sex, moaned out the wrong words (“don’t move” as opposed to “don’t stop”), been so over-sensitive that every movement tickled, been unable to stop laughing, farted, slipped and fallen, … well, you get the picture.  My boyfriend has had similar things happen, he’ll have to pee, or slip out, get a muscle spasm, or not be able to hold his erection no matter how much he wants to.

The thing to remember is that stuff like this is going to happen.  No matter who you are, how careful you are, how prepared for sex you are, or anything like that, it’s going to happen.  You *will* fart during sex, the penis (or toy) *will* pop out at some point (just check porn! It happens all the time!), maybe you will fall out of bed or some other random, embarrassing thing.  It *will* happen, you will laugh, get embarrassed, nervous, maybe not even be able to finish.

Really, you just have to accept it and go with the flow.  Your partner will understand, really, they will.  And if they don’t that’s their own problem, not yours.  Things like this are things you can laugh about later.  They can create unique, special memories just for you and your lover.  So instead of worrying what they think about it, getting embarrassed and withdrawing or other things like that… just go with it!  Make the joke out of it that it is, just don’t laugh *at* anyone, laugh *with* them.

How to bring up trying a taboo sex act

Blow? Suck?

Face it.  No matter who you are, no matter your religion, your sexual experience, your moral values, where you live, your shape or size, no matter anything, there comes a time when you want to try something “taboo” with your lover.  Or yourself.

So first, let’s look at what taboo is.  Basically, something is taboo when there’s a strong social “ban” on it.  So, according to society to do activity x, y, or z is bad.  Then that activity is taboo.  Even if it is perfectly legal.  Taboo does not mean illegal or legal.  Just that according to society at large, to do that act is abhorrent or objectionable.

Due to the taboo nature of many sex acts, it can be difficult for someone to bring it up to their lover, even if they’ve been together for years.  Now, each relationship is unique; everybody communicates in their own way just as each relationship has it’s own best system(s) of communication.

However, when you haven’t ever talked about it before, for a lot of people, suddenly saying “Baby, get on your hands and knees I wanna fuck you in the arse” typically isn’t the best idea to go about it.

When it comes to trying new things in bed, many people can be very touchy about the subject.  Often it’s due to their upbringing, but whatever the reason those persons feelings must be taken into account and honored and respected. Doing anything less simply shows that you don’t care about the other persons feelings and is/can be very detrimental to your relationship with them.  By taking their feelings into account you’re showing them that they matter to you, that their opinion is important to you

So, especially when you’re asking them to try something they’re not familiar with, make sure to be prepared to answer questions.  And also be kind about it, don’t, in any way, even begin to insinuate that they’re stupid or naive for asking.  Also, be prepared to offer up examples and educational materials.  These could be instructional/informational videos or books , maybe even a website or two.

Another good idea is if you’re wanting to try a new toy or type of toy it wouldn’t be a bad idea to actually buy a simple version of one so they can see it, feel it and get an idea of what it is before you’re actually in the moment of sex play when you’d want to try it. Get one that’s simple and unassuming, and preferrably a litle bit on the cheaper end so that if they don’t like it or that particular type of sex play doesn’t work for you you’re not out a lot of money.  You can always get a nicer one if it ends up being something you both like and want to try again.

There’s a few other things to remember.  First off, don’t be demanding.  Demanding can be construed as force, and force is horrible, bad and illegal.  Also, it can cause your partner to feel guilty if they’re not interested in which case they may do it anyway, despite not wanting to.  That can really get you into troubles and problems you wouldn’t want.

Also, you have to understand and be okay with the fact that not everyone likes everything.  Be understanding, compassionate and accepting if your partner genuinely tries something new for you and doesn’t like it.  Be willing to gently suggest trying it another way (perhaps with a different toy, a different position or maybe in a different place).  Also allow them time before trying it again if they’re not wanting to jump right back into it.

All in all, trying something new can be difficult for some people, regardless of the reasons for it.  And this needs to be respected and honored.  But at the same time, trying something new can really bring flavor and excitement back into your sex life.  Talk about it, bring it up, hide a book about it in their briefcase or on their pillow, leave a video of it when you’re going out of town or give a new toy as a gift.  However you do it; do it and be empathetic about it.  You won’t regret it.