All Day Long Foreplay

Frequently it seems like foreplay is nothing more than a little kissing, or ass grabbing, or some clit-rubbing.  Of course there’s always the “I need a blowjob” group, but as those situations frequently involve orgasm and the end of the sex play, I’m excluding those.  Also, there’s the prevailing idea that foreplay can only be done in private, when you and your lover are physically together.  Now, this certainly is true, but only for certain foreplay acts.

Thing is, foreplay can last a whole day, when you and your partner are apart.  While it’s certainly not something to do every day, it’s something you can do when you feel like it.  That special text or email or letter left in a briefcase can really mean a lot to someone.

There are many ways to add foreplay into your day to make it something extra special.  Even if you don’t end up having sex, adding that intimacy into your day can release tension and create an excitement that our days don’t typically have any more.

Sexting

Something that’s really gained notoriety in the last couple years, being able to send your lover a naughty mid-day message has a lot of merit.  with cell phones you can send “I’m thinking of you” messages, along with naughty photos if you so choose.  This can remind not only your partner, but you yourself, of what you have waiting for you at home, and that you are still physically attracted to each other.

The little messages and such can also really keep a person sexually awake throughout the day.  The anticipation of what’s to come and crackling sexual energy that surrounds you all day can lead to an explosive evening for both you and your partner.

Examples can be: “I’m not wearing panties and I’m thinking of you.”  ”When you get home go straight to the bedroom, I have a surprise for you.”  ”I loved last night, let’s do that position again tonight.”  Or they can be even more raunchy and specific.

Surprises

Things like this are great for many things.  Starting a day’s worth of foreplay for an erotic evening, simply giving a gift or even suggesting trying a new sex act.  By leaving a surprise such as an instructional, adult dvd or a new sex toy on their pillow or even in their briefcase you’re telling them that you are still attracted to them, still want them and that you are invested in your relationship, wanting your sex life to be exciting and wanting to try new things.

Hidden Toys

More for when you’re together but in public, things such as remote control vibrators and butt plugs are sexy little secrets between you and your lover.  Especially if you’re using a remote control vibrator and give the remote to your partner, the knowledge that s/he is in control of the toy that’s inside you is incredible erotic.

For the person wearing the toy you have the sensations it’s giving you as foreplay and for your partner, they get to watch you, knowing that you’re receiving those sensations while you’re at the grocery store, a movie, a party or wherever you’re at.  For my boyfriend and I, one of our favorite memories was us walking in the mall, while my boyfriend would turn on the remote vibrating egg while I was trying to pay for something.  He enjoyed watching me attempt to hide the shock on my face and then watch me work through the sensations I was getting while trying to give nothing away.

~*~

What sorts of “long distance foreplay” do you enjoy?  Share and give us ideas!!

Tips for Taking Care of Your Sex Toys

Afterglow Sex Toy Cleaning Wipes

Especially with how expensive sex toys can get, it’s important to take care of them.  With as much work as we put some of our toys through, and considering the sensitive places where we use those toys, we really need to work at keeping them in tip top shape.  As such, it’s important to take care of your toys; to keep them clean and store them properly between uses.

The first step in taking care of your sex toys is to keep them clean.  There are many varieties of antibacterial toy cleaners which you can use to clean any type of sex toy before and after use.  It’s important to clean toy before use, as well as after.  Before use, it’s important because the toys can collect lint, dust and other stuff that floats around in the air.  Even just rinsing the toy off first works, as we don’t want that lint and other stuff to get in our parts.  I like to use antibacterial toy wipes before I use my toys as the bathroom is very out of the way and many of many favorite toys are in my bedroom.

For cleaning after sex, it’s important to clean in all the crevices and dips you can find in toys, as fluids can get in there and then dry, which can lead to a lot of bacterial growth.  It’s important to use body safe soap as well as hot water.  For glass, pure silicone and other heat resistant toys without motors you can boil them.  5-10 minutes, depending on the size of the toy and how many you’re cleaning works just fine.  Also, a 10% bleach solution (so 1 part bleach to 10 parts water) works well also, so long as you ensure to rinse the toy completely.

It’s important to remember that unless your toy is completely non-porous, such as 100% silicone, metal or glass, your toy will never be wholly clean, as bodily fluids will get into the tiny pores and you won’t be able to clean them out.  As such, it’s always in your best interest to get totally non-porous sex toys.  Also, when it comes to toys used anally or shard, it’s imperative to get non-porous toys and then fully sterilize them before sharing or use again.  And never, ever take a sex toy from the anus to the vagina without fully sterilizing it first, or using condoms.

As for storing your toys, many toys cannot touch, or else there could be a reaction between the materials they’re made out of, which can ruin your toys.  The safest rule of thumb is to simply just store your toys so none of them touch.  Glass toys, wood or metal toys and ceramic toys are safe to touch each other and toys of the same material.  Plastics, jelly toys and silicone toys really shouldn’t touch each other or toys of the same material as a chemical reaction could occur which would damage the toys.

What I do is I keep each toy wrapped in cloth.  Sometimes I use the same piece of cloth, I just ensure that there is a couple folds of cloth between them.  Also, you can simply use the package that the toy came in, if it came in anything substantial.    Sometimes this is the best way to go, especially if the packaging is awesome and substantial, such as with Evolved toys.

Lastly for storage, it’s important to ensure your toys are safe.  Last thing you want is for them to get broken by accidentally being stepped on, or sliding off of a shelf.

So, the long and short of it is; take care of your sex toys. You spend your hard earned money on them, and you insert them into your bits and use them on your parts.  The better you take care of them, the longer they’ll last and the more you’ll be able to use them.

Tips to Spice up your Sex Life!

No matter how in love you are, and no matter how attracted you are to your partner, sometimes it’s hard to get excited about sex.  Especially if you have sex frequently, it can eventually get redundant and almost boring; having the same kind of sex over and over again.   That’s not to say that there aren’t certain parts of sex that end up being the same; the penis gets inserted into a vagina or anus, however there are small things you can do to spice things up, to make that sex a little bit different.

CHANGE THE LOCATION

It may sound simple, but as my boyfriend and I learned last week, changing up the location of your sex can add a lot of spontaneity, as well as excitement and the feel of “something special.”   And it doesn’t have to be anything fancy either.  For us, we tried making love on our couch.  We discovered that the height and angles just weren’t right for our heights and body sizes, so we ended up with me laying on across the dining table!  Though it may be hard to hold your legs up, just put your feet up on the backs of chairs.

There are many other places you can explore for sex, such as on the stairs, on a chair, even on your patio/balcony if you have enough privacy.  By taking just a couple seconds to say “No, don’t go to the bed!  Let’s try the couch!” you could find a place that works excellent for sex.  And even if you don’t, it’s a fun memory that you now have with your lover.

CHANGE THE POSITION

Similar to changing the location, changing the positions you’re having sex in can really increase your pleasure and stave off too much repetition in your sex life.  The thing about changing positions is that it does not have to be fancy or complicated.  Especially for many women, simply moving one leg can really change the sensations received.

There are many simple ways to change up the most common sexual positions.  Sometimes it’s just one little change that’s needed to spice things up a bit, make it feel different/better and make it, quite simply, not the same.

- When in doggy style, simply changing whether or not her arms are bent or straight can make a huge difference.  Also, putting a pillow or two under her tummy can also help, so it’s not quite as much stress on her body which will help her be able to relax and focus on receiving pleasure, rather than keeping position.

- With her laying on her back, throwing one leg over another, so laying on her side but with her back flat on the bed can be very pleasurable as well; a subtle change that can spice things up a bit.  It feels like doggy style, just not as intense for her.

- In cowgirl position, if she flips around so she’s facing his feet, it’ll change it up a little bit, and also giver her the sensation of control just like dodgy style can give him.

USE ACCESSORIES

Sometimes it’s fun to add in a little something, a toy or accessory that can bring the sex from basic to exciting. Thing is, you don’t always need an expensive vibrator in order to do this.  Now don’t get me wrong!  Certainly there are things a dildo can do that other things cannot do.  However, sometimes it’s fun to add something in that doesn’t cost a lot of money or batteries.  Plus, it’s fun to try something that’s different and perhaps doesn’t require being inserted into a bodily orifice.

- Without getting sugar in a vagina, try licking chocolate syrup, whipped cream and other fun foods off of each other.  You can even eat regular foods off of each other!  Try putting raspberries on nipples, a strawberry sitting in a navel; you can even make a game out of it; set things on each other and have “prizes” or “punishments” if something falls off.

- Ice cubes can be incredibly stimulating as they’re drawn over nipples, labia, testicles and other body parts.

- Use scarves and neck ties to blindfold or even tie up your lover’s hands.  The lack of moment and/or vision will increase his/her other senses and make their skin much more sensitive.

- Costumes and sexy lingerie are also something that can really make sex time fun.  Even if it’s just a little role play or fun dressing someone or undressing them, using clothing can really add some spice, especially if you don’t all of the clothing off!

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What sorts of things do you like to do to add a little spice in your sex play?

A breakdown of sex toys.

There’s a lot of different kinds of sex toys out there.  So I thought I’d break some of it down for you, to help separate some of the toys, what they are, what they’re typically used for, and how they’re used.

The Dildo

Perhaps the most recognizable sex toy, the dildo has been around for longer than many people realize.  Dildos come in shapes from realistic (meaning it looks very much like a real penis, typically uncircumcised) to unrealistic, possibly looking like a rose or some other, non-penile shape.

Dildos are typically used for vaginal penetration, though some are also able to be used for anal penetration.  For safety purposes, only use dildos with a flared base and that are also non-porous (so that they may be sterilized) for anal penetration.

Typically non-intimidating, a dildo is often the first sex toy a woman will purchase.  They are simple to use, don’t usually require batteries and come in a wide variety of sizes, colors and shapes.

The Vibrator

Vibrators really are more than a dildo that vibrates. For the most part, vibrating dildos are simply dildos that have a slot for a small vibrator (typically a bullet.)  They are typically realistic in shape and made of a soft material.  Actual vibrators, on the other hand, are made around the motor and vibrator, meaning that the vibrator is not removable.

Vibrators come in endless colors, shapes and sizes, as well as types.  From rabbits to g-spot vibrators to clitoral vibrators there is a vibrator made for any purpose.  As they sound, g-spot vibrators are made with a “hook” or nub at the end of it, to help the user reach and then stimulate the g-spot.  The clitoral vibrators are round and thin, without much substantial size so that one may target the clitoris.  Many clitoral vibrators can sit snugly between the labia.  Rabbits have a shaft for internal vaginal stimulation as well as a clitoral stimulator, so that both areas may be stimulated simultaneously.

Typically run on batteries, many sex toy companies are getting on the green bandwagon and making their sex toys rechargeable.

Vaginal Balls

Vaginal balls are small, body safe balls that typically are hollow, with another weighted ball inside of them.  Most vaginal balls are two balls, connected by a string with another retrieval string at the end of one of the balls.   A few are single balls with a retrieval string, and also you can find some which have no retrieval string, that you remove by simply using your pc muscles.  Some, like the Luna Balls offer a couple different options, working with one or two balls of different weights.

Vaginal balls are excellent for women who have had children and/or who are experiencing difficult controlling their bladder.  The reason for this is that doing regular exercises with vaginal balls (or kegel exercises without the balls) most certainly help strengthen the pc muscles.  This will increase your continence and there are many instances where this increased muscle control will also increase the pleasure you receive during sex.

The vaginal balls strengthen muscles by you holding them in.  They are weighted, so you squeeze your muscles around the balls, holding them inside your vagina.  By squeezing your muscles, holding the balls in, then releasing your muscles you exercise the muscles just like you exercise any other body part.

Anal Plug

Anal plugs are anal safe sex toys that get inserted into the rectum and then kept there.  They come in several materials, from silicone which is best for beginners as it gives, to steel which is more advanced, as there’s no give to it. Typically they do not vibrate and simply sit there.  While this may seem unexciting, there are many good reasons to use anal plugs.

First, you can work your way up from small plugs to larger ones to get your bottom used to having something larger in there.  This is a great thing to do if you wish to experiment with anal sex at some point in time.  Secondly, it can simply be enjoyable for the different sensations having something in your bottom can give.  Thirdly, using an anal plug is an awesome way to experience double penetration for women; having something both in your butt and vagina.

Anal plugs are great because you can wear them for long periods of time.  You can put an anal plug in then go do your errands!  This is a lovely and erotic way to spend some time during your day as no one else will know you’ve stuck something in your bum!  This can be a naughty secret between you and your lover, or something only you know.

Anal Probe

Basically, anal probes are anal vibrators.  They come in many shapes and sizes and are made specifically for anal use.  It’s always important to ensure that they’re non-porous so you can fully clean and sterilize them as well as ensure there’s a large flared handle so that it won’t get stuck up there; you can’t push things out of your bottom the same way a woman can push something out of her vagina.

Many anal probes are made specifically for men and thus are designed to simulate the prostate.  This is a wonderful and healthy thing for men to do as it can give a unique orgasm all of it’s own; it also does not, in any way, mean someone is bi or homosexual.

Anal Beads

Anal beads are sort of like anal plugs, but they are smaller and longer.  Anal beads are  an excellent thing to start with if you’re a beginner to anal play.  They have several beads or bumps on a body safe string or piece of silicone.  You can pop one in then after a few seconds of acclimation go ahead and put in the next one, which is a tad bit bigger.  You can then keep going (each bead/bump is a tad bit bigger than the one before) until you’ve inserted them all, or until you’ve reached the largest one you wish to use.

Also similar to anal plugs, these can be worn for extended periods of time while you are having sex, doing chores or running errands.  Anal beads are wonderful to have in while having sex.  You can experience double penetration, but also, typically, the man can feel the beads on his penis through the vaginal/anal wall which will give him unique sensations and increase the uniqueness and pleasure during sex.