How to Get Turned on to Ben Wa Balls

With all the horror stories on the Internet about women who get ben-wa balls stuck you know where, the ancient Eastern sex toy may seem a little intimidating.

Sit back, relax… or perhaps lie down, and let me tell you about my first experience with Ben Wa Balls.

Cool textures, smooth feel
I admit after reading the horror stories, I was a bit tentative. The idea of the ben wa balls also didn’t seem very comfortable at first. First, I added some lubricant to the balls, because, honestly, I didn’t see these going in easily without any. I began masturbating with the balls, enjoying the ridged texture and the cool smoothness of the plastic. The weighted balls had a nice — very nice — feel and I soon enjoyed banging them against myself.

I’d often watched porn where a woman enjoys having someone smack her clit — or doing it herself. The balls provided that pulsing sensation without the sting.

It wasn’t long before I was wet enough to insert them easily. And they didn’t need as much lube as I thought. (But I still hold to the adage that you can never, ever have enough lube.)

Once the ben wa balls were inside, I have to admit, they didn’t provide as much pleasure as I thought they would, immediately. Ben wa balls are not a passive sex toy, where you lie there and let them do the work. In fact, they take a bit of creativity — and knowing your body — to really get the most pleasure from them.

I started to go through my usual masturbation repertoire, while also moving the balls around by the string every so often. It was fun but I knew I was missing something.

Contrary to the balls getting stuck, they kept slipping out. Each time, I pushed them deeper, and that’s when the pleasure potential started to hit me. With the balls filling me completely, I began to imagine a lover’s cock inside me along with them. Yes… these balls had an appeal.

Believe What You Read…
I ramped up the hand motion and, as I started to come, I realized the entire purpose — or at least, one of the purposes — of ben wa balls. The ridges caressed the inside walls of my vagina as my body pulsated. The weights inside them seemed to give the balls a life of their own. I detected mild vibrations — not as strong as my favorite vibe, more like a gentle tickling sensation.

By this time, I’d become adept at moving the balls by moving my legs, and was able to manipulate them to keep the orgasm going for minutes of undulating pleasure. Each spasm created another spasm, waves of ecstasy, just as the advertisements promise.

Ben wa balls have several uses and I look forward to experimenting with them all. You can use ben wa balls:

• during masturbation
• during intercourse
• in your vagina during anal sex, to give you a full feeling at every angle
• for kegel exercises
• throughout the day — as you learn to manipulate the balls with subtle movements, you can bring yourself to orgasm anytime, anywhere.

It’s true that these toys require a little bit of knowledge about your body — and some degree of pelvic muscle control — to really enjoy them to their full potential. But once you unlock the secrets of these ancient toys, you’ll become a true afficianado. You may even begin to collect multiple sets of balls in different sizes, styles and materials.

Our Top Picks for Ben Wa Balls
Whether you’re buying your first set or adding to your collection, here are some of our favorite ben wa balls:

Doc Johnson’s Gold Ben Wa Balls – cool, classy, sexy and pthalate-free

Smartballs – my favorite for their texture unique texture and sturdy string for removal

Leopard Duotone Balls – wild and sexy

What’s been your experience with Ben Wa balls? Did they require practice, and did you like them?

Three Tips for Talking About Sex

Dr. Laura Berman states that 15 % of all married couples don’t have sex. Often these couples started out in happy relationships with healthy sex lives. But the demands of children, money woes and day-to-day life eventually got in the way and sex fell by the wayside. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

The best way to keep the sex going in your relationship is to prevent any problems before they start. How can you do this? Talk about sex regularly.

I don’t mean talking dirty (although that can be fun, too!) but regular conversations about what’s working in your sex life — and what isn’t — will keep you both fulfilled and happy. Most importantly, it will keep sex at the forefront of your relationship. Whether you’ve been married for years and have a large family or are a couple living together with no kids, these three tips will help you talk about sex more easily.

1. Keep it out of the bedroom. I’m not talking about sex on the kitchen table (although I’m all for that, as long as you break out the Pledge wipes before you serve dinner).

The best time to talk about sex is … whenever you think of it. Okay, maybe not during dinner with the ‘rents. But any time the two of you are alone together, you can bring it up. The topic of conversation, I mean.

Here’s another hint: Guys are more comfortable talking in the car, because driving gives them something else to focus on. He won’t feel compelled to look at you during the conversation and you won’t long for eye contact. This will make everyone more comfortable.

You can also talk side-by-side on the living room sofa, with the television on if it makes him more comfortable. Trust us — if you’re talking about sex, he’s listening, even though it may not look like he is.

2. Focus on the positives. Critiquing someone’s sex moves — whether it’s the frequency or the technique — is a touchy subject. Starting the conversation with words like “We don’t have sex often enough,” or “I’ve never told you before, but I hate it when you…” puts him on the defensive. If he feels attacked, he’ll retreat or lash out. Either way, you won’t achieve the objective you desire — more frequent or better sex (or both).

The brain remembers instructions better when it’s focused on positives. How many times have you said to yourself, “I don’t want to be late?” — focusing on the act of being late. And then — just as you feared — you arrive late somewhere. Alternately, by focusing on the words, “I want to be on time,” that’s exactly what will happen.

This concept works with nearly everything. If you tell your partner what you love in the bedroom, what you’d like more of, or exactly how often you’d like to have sex, he’s more likely to remember. If you focus on the negatives, he’ll put so much attention on “not” doing something, he’ll continue to do it.

3. Have a plan. You can’t ask for what you want if you don’t know exactly what you want. Maybe your sex life is boring and you want to spice it up, test new positions or introduce toys. Don’t just tell him, “I’m bored when we have sex lately.” Make a list of suggestions and share it with him.

Complaining about what’s wrong focuses on the negative and leaves him at a loss. You’re likely to get a reply such as, “Well, what do you want me to do about it?” Or he might suggest something to make it more exciting that you have no interest in: “Why don’t invite your best friend to join us next time?” Not exactly what you planned.

To get what you want, you have to ask for it — which means you have to know what you want. It might help to make a list of ideas beforehand, and even practice the conversation. After you’ve verbalized your desires, ask him what he wants. With all ideas on the table, you can decide what appeals to both of you.

By keeping the lines of communication open, you can ensure an active and pleasing sex life as long as you’re together.

Seven Tips to Better, Safer Cybersex

“I’m going to have you all over the Web!” I uttered to a close friend.

Um, wait… that wasn’t exactly what I meant, and knowing the friend is an author of erotica, my words took on a whole new meaning. I was really just interviewing her for a writer’s blog, since she recently signed on as editor at a publishing company and just got proofs of her first published erotic short.

But if you choose to “have” someone (in the sexy sense of the word), the Web has plenty of venues in which to do so. My preference is plain old cybersex through a text-based chat interface of your choice — Digsby, Facebook, AIM … G-Talk is my favorite, but only because of the innuendo in its name.

Cybersex is easy and relatively safe. You can’t transmit or receive STDs, and don’t have to worry about condoms, pregnancy, or even cleaning up a mess on the sheets (okay, well maybe the last one!) Here are a few tips to have better, safer cybersex.

1. Set the stage with strong imagery. While words can be sexy, pictures bring our fantasies to life. That’s why porno DVDs sell so much better than erotic novels. Create a picture in your cyber-lover’s mind with your words. Tell the  tale of what you’re wearing — except if it’s flannel pants and a baggy sweatshirt. Then use your imagination to make up the sexiest outfit you can think of, and describe it in glorious detail. That’s one great thing about cybersex — he’ll never know you’re fibbing!

2. Don’t let typos and “net-speak” distract you or your cybersex partner. Proper spelling makes a smoother read for everyone. And how much longer does it really take to type “your” instead of “ur?”    In fact, most people over age 18 actually have to take more time to convert appropriate spelling into net-speak in our minds before we type. It’s easier to spell out most words. On the other hand, don’t obsess over correct grammar. Just do the best you can and get lost in the moment. Your lover will know what you mean.

3. Be explicit. The hottest cybersex I ever had involved a play-by-play interaction of exactly what I’d do to my lover — and what he’d do to me. We held nothing back, describing everything from the first caress to our mutual, and simultaneous, orgasms.

4. Be creative. Cybersex is a fabulous form of fantasy. Don’t worry if it’s nothing you’d actually want to do in person — you can still talk about it. I’ve had sexy conversations with my lover discussing acts I’m not quite ready for, but are fun to think about! By the same token, there’s no reason to bring the conversation around to anything that makes you uncomfortable. You can steer things in the right direction by sayer (er, typing) “How about we…?”

5. Don’t reveal personal details. I’m not going to be judgmental. Some people have cybersex with strangers. If you do, be careful not to reveal personal details. It’s okay to share the color of your underwear or your favorite sex position, but don’t reveal where you live, for instance, or your place of business or your favorite hangout. You don’t know if the person on the other end of your broadband connection could be a stalker.

6. Better yet, stick with people you know in real life. When you play on the ‘net, you never know what you’re getting. Forty-year-old men can pretend to be 22-year-old porn stars. By the same token, 14-year-old girls can also pretend to be 22-year-old porn stars. And police officers can pretend to be 14-year-old girls pretending to be 22-year-old porn stars. (Got that?) You can get in serious trouble having cybersex with a minor — or someone you believe to be a minor. It’s safer for a variety of reasons to stick to having cybersex with people you know in real life.

7. Webcams add another element to cybersex. If you’re having cybersex with someone you already know, setting up the webcam can really spice it up. Besides, it’s a great way to make sure no one is playing false identity games. Alternately, you can create an avatar in Second Life and have an affair of endless possibilities through your online persona. But that’s a post for another day….

How to Choose the Best Lubricant

If you have any experience with lubricants, you know how much they can add to sex. Whether it’s your goal to “go all night,” or you simply want to help your favorite sex toy slide in (anywhere) easier, you’ll want some good quality lube.

By the same token, we want our precious sex toys to last a long time, too. (I’m talking years, not hours…) Using the right lubricant on sex toys of various materials will prolong their lifespan, make clean-up easier, and permit you even more enjoyment from your sex toys.

Here’s a quick and easy reference guide to lubricants and the toys and activities they are compatible with:

Water-based lubricants: Think of water-based lubes as the Swiss Army knife of lubricants. They work with any sex toys or condom material, under nearly any circumstance. They are long-lasting, easy-to-clean up, and won’t stain sheets or clothing. Water-based lubricants may have different consistencies. As a general rule, seek thicker (gel-like) water-based lubricants for more intense play, including anal sex or when you’re looking for a long-lasting lubricant.

There’s one time (ironically), when you don’t want to use a water-based lube: when you’re having sex in the water. It will wash right off. Instead, choose a silicone lubricant, which is not water-soluble and is safe to use with condoms.

You might buy: Astroglide, ID Glide Lube, or Wet Original Lubricant

Silicone lubricants: More expensive but also typically longer lasting than water-based lubricants, silicone lubricants are slippery smooth, luxurious, and great for all types of play — except one. Do not use a silicone-based lubricant with your silicone-containing sex toys, including toys made from Cyberskin and similar materials. It will wear down your silicone-based toys faster than a porn star can get it up.

You might buy: Pjur Eros, Toko Silicone Lubricant, or Gun Oil Silicone Lube

Oil-based lubricants: Oil-based lubricants are longer lasting than water-based lubes, making them a desirable choice for many people. Oil-based lubes are suitable for water-play, since they’re not water soluble. However, oil has some major drawbacks. It can:

• stain fabric
• break down latex condoms (they are safe with polyurethane condoms)
• damage certain sex toys

Oil-based lubricants can harbor bacteria, causing vaginal infections in women. It’s best not to use them during penetration (even with a toy) for women, although they are okay for penetration of men during anal sex.

You might buy: ID Cream lubricant or Jack Jelly.

Lubricants with glycerin and sugar: Lubricants with glycerin and sugar or high-fructose corn syrup (for instance, some flavored lubes) can also cause yeast infections in some women. These are best used for external play only.

Save the Olive Oil for the Salad
While we’re on the topic of “flavorful lubricants” — a note about Olive Oil as a lubricant: Olive oil is sometimes recommended as an “all-natural” lubricant. Olive oil doesn’t make the best lubricant at all, because it can breed bacteria, is not very thick or long-lasting, and is fairly expensive. Keep the olive oil in the kitchen; if you’re looking for an inexpensive, natural lubricant, go with a water-based lube.

The Survivalist’s Guide to Stockpiling Sex Toys

Before the holidays, the Northeast suffered what some people have called the largest snow storm to hit our region in 17 years.  It’s already shaping up to be a long, cold winter.

Of course, the forecast of a blizzard sent people rushing to Wal-mart to stock up on bottled water, batteries, and canned goods. I was lucky enough to grab the last container of milk off the grocery store shelf – not because I was stockpiling, but because I happened to be out of milk. And there was a sale on bread, which explains the six loaves in my freezer. But that’s neither here nor there.

Really… why do people stockpile odd things in the event of a storm? And if we have a power outage, how do they plan to cook all that Campbell’s Chunky soup? I hope they remembered the propane for their camp stove. Wait, what?! Camp stove? You see my point.

Now, your resident blogger and erstwhile survivalist, Desiree Sweet, is here to share the things you REALLY need to stock up on. Because what fun is a snow day unless you can spend it tucked inside where it’s nice and warm?

Four Things Every Sexy Survivalist Needs

Condoms – You don’t want to trudge to the gas station in the middle of a blizzard because you’re down to your last condom, do you? We like this variety pack from Trojan, featuring three each of the Ultra Pleasure, Her Pleasure, and Pleasure Mesh varieties.

How many do you need? First, calculate approximately how many times you have sex each week. Remember, you need a new condom each time you have intercourse, and plan to use two to three times as many as usual during a snow storm or long weekend.

Condoms typically expire about 4 years from the date of production, so you can safely store a year’s supply as long as you remember to rotate your stock. When you buy a new box, place it toward the back of your supply. Older condoms should go in the front and be used first.

Lubricants – Different sex toys and condom materials require different lubricants. For instance, silicone toys should only be used with water-based lubricants. For bath fun, you’ll want a silicone lubricant, since water-based lubricants wash off too easily in the water and don’t provide enough staying power. Keep the following varieties of lube on hand for snowy day adventures:

-    Silicone lubricant – For use with most sex toys, except silicone varieties.
-    Water-based lubricant – For silicone toys
-    Massage oils – Not a lubricant but still important to have for full-body massages after your lover shovels the driveway
-    Warming lubricants – Perfect for those cold winter nights

According to the experts at Cosmopolitan magazine, most lubricants don’t have an expiration date, but it’s smart to use them within a year. I wouldn’t stockpile more than one or two bottles of each variety. Store your lubricants in a cool, dry place and give a quick sniff and look-over before you use them. If anything seems funky, toss it and reach for your back-up bottle.

Batteries – Fortunately, most vibrators are battery-powered, so you can enjoy your toys even in an electrical outage. But you don’t want to steal batteries from your flashlight (or vice versa) during the big storm. Make sure you have plenty of C and AA batteries available (the most common types for most vibes). Rechargable batteries, obviously, are the green solution, but make sure they’re fully charged before the storm hits.

Something to clean up – I love this “after sex towel” but if your power’s out, you won’t be doing laundry. Keep plenty of these in your linen closet, or simply have plenty of tissues on hand for clean up. Perhaps this is where all that bottled water comes in handy.

Rest easy, now that you’re all set for the next sex-filled snow day.

Image is of the F. Y. N. Adult Toybox XL Faux Leather Case courtesy of For Your Nymphomation.

Seven Sexy New Year’s Resolutions

It’s the first full week of the New Year. That means it’s not too late to make a New Year’s Resolution! I hope no one has actually broken any of theirs yet, unless they were the kind meant to be broken. (Like giving up sex in 2010… definitely a bad idea!)

So, dear readers, what are your New Year’s Resolutions? I’m sure we have the lion’s share of “quit smoking,” “lose weight” and (my personal favorite) “quit procrastinating.” In 2010, your resident blogger has made a resolution to keep this blog up-to-date with exciting, fun and sometimes educational content – just for you.

In that vein, here are some suggestions for New Year’s Resolutions you won’t mind keeping all year long!

1. Do something new with your lover. You can break open the Kama Sutra and play with whatever position strikes your fancy, have sex outdoors, or make a foray into BDSM. Whatever you choose, do something that is a new experience for both of you.

2. Communicate with your lover. Take time, inside the bedroom or out, to reveal your innermost fantasies. What do you love best about his techniques? What do you wish he’d do more often? Here’s a tip, ladies – long talks during car drives work well. The lack of eye contact makes your man more comfortable and it helps that he has something else to focus on while still giving you the attention you need (and deserve!)

3. Buy a new toy. Expand your bedroom repertoire with the help of a new battery-powered friend. Go for something completely different. If you’ve never used a rabbit-style vibe, I recommend the new WOW series. Want something great for anal play? The Slimline Anal Explorer is a great beginner vibe at a great price.

4. Have more sex. Who couldn’t use a little more love in their life? Make arrangements for lunchtime rendezvous, quickies before breakfast, or long Saturday evening romps through every room in your house. If you’re an “only on weekends” couple, add a weekday into the mix. If you currently have sex once a week or less, aim for two or three times, just for a month, to see how you like it.

5. Make (and keep) a weekly date night. After the hubbub of the holidays, everyone begins to settle back into their normal routine. Why not make a weekly connection with your lover part of your regular 2010 schedule? If you have kids, line up a babysitter. If not – you have less of an excuse.

Date night doesn’t have to be expensive. Order Chinese food and then give each other massages by the fireplace. Use your imagination for low-cost, stay-at-home one-on-one time or splurge with a dinner out at your favorite restaurant. You can decide who, er – what’s – for dessert.

6. Do kegels. Kegels – easy little exercises that tone the PC (Pubococcygeus) muscles have well-documented health benefits. Not only do they help prevent incontinence, they can aid in childbirth. They also help women have more intense orgasms. You can do kegels anywhere, at any time (and no one will know). You can also use ben wa balls for a more intense experience.

7. Use a condom. If you’re not in a monogamous relationship, make 2010 the year you vow to practice safe sex with every partner and use a condom. You’ll find so many fun varieties here at Vibrator.com, you can even use a different style, color or flavor every day of the year!

CDC Reports STD’s Rampant in Washington

I really wanted to broach the subject of STDs in Washington, D.C. with a tongue-in-cheek approach. (I’m not doing anything more fun with my tongue at the moment.) I had a whole series of bi-partisan jokes lined up, poking fun at political personalities from Clinton to Ted Kennedy to Elliot Spitzer…

Then I thought better of it. It’s really not a laughing matter. In fact, it’s pretty sad.

D.C. beats all 50 states for cases of Chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis
Our nation’s capital has a higher concentration of STDs than anywhere else in the U.S., according to a new report released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

Washington D.C. has higher rates of Chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis, with:

- 451.5 cases of gonorrhea per 100,000 people
- 24.8 cases of syphilis per 100,000 people; and
- 1,177 cases of Chlamydia per 100,000 people.

The Chlamydia rate in D.C. is nearly three times the rate of neighboring Virginia and Maryland.

Indicative of larger problems
It’s easy – almost cliché – to blame politicians with a penchant for interns and prostitutes, but the reality is, STD rates are higher in major cities across the U.S.

Other problems plaguing major urban areas also plague D.C. For instance, Washington D.C. also leads the pack in violent crime, and some statistics show that more than 14,000 people in our nation’s capital are homeless.

Sadly, these statistics don’t share any “breaking news.” They only drive home some obvious points:

- More sex education may help combat the spread of STDs.
- A better healthcare system can diagnose and treat individuals before they perpetuate more disease.
- How can we expect our politicians to serve an entire country when they can’t take care of problems right on their doorstep?

Teen girls also at risk
Nationwide, according to the CDC report, teen girls show the highest rates of  Chlamydia and gonorrhea, with more than 400,000 girls ages 15 – 19 infected with one or both of the STDs.

Left untreated, 10 to 20 % of these infections can result in pelvic inflammatory disease, which can cause chronic pelvic pain, ectopic pregnancies and infertility in women.

The prevalence of these STDs in teenage males was slightly lower – probably due to increased screening and diagnoses for teenage girls. Additionally, the long-term health risks for females who contract the disease are much worse than for men, in general. The U.S. population aged 15 to 24 years old, both male and female, are most at risk to contract STDs. The CDC report estimates approximately 19 million new STD infections each year, with almost half of those amongst people age 15 to 24.

Sex education, condom availability the keys
Educating high school and college students about the importance of safe sex can help combat the spread of STDs. At home, an open-door policy regarding discussions about sex with your teens can help.

It’s especially important for teenage girls to feel as if they can talk to their mothers about delicate sexual matters, as early diagnosis and treatment with antibiotics of common STDs can help prevent future health problems and infertility. Whether that discussion involves a conversation about sex toys or not is a personal decision…

Would You Give Your Teen Daughter a Vibrator?

Sex expert Dr. Laura Berman recommends women buy vibrators for their teenage daughters.

“You’re teaching them about their own bodies and pleasuring themselves,” Dr. Berman said on a segment of Oprah this past spring. “They don’t need [a] boy – they don’t need another person — until they’re ready.”

She went on to say that using a vibrator may even make teenage girls safer, sexually-speaking, because it may encourage them to put off their sexual experience even longer.

Oprah’s best friend, Gayle King, shook her throughout the segment, arguing that it is “just too much information.” Kids are growing up fast enough, these days, she argued. Parents don’t need to add battery-operated fuel to the raging teenage hormonal fire.

The thought crossed my mind that, upon discovering how good sexual pleasure can feel with a vibrator, teenage girls may actually be more eager to find out about the real thing. (Only to be sorely disappointed by a first experience with an inexperienced boy their own age, of course… sending them running back to their vibrator… maybe Dr. Berman has the right idea?)

Dr. Berman says it’s about empowerment – teaching teens not only the basics of sex as well as how to be safe, but educating them about orgasm. Which we all know is an important part of sex. But I’m still not sure about vibrator-shopping with a teenage daughter.

Talking to Teens About Sex
I remember learning about masturbation from Judy Blume books. A few years later, I started learning about sex from Danielle Steele. We did not talk about sex in my house – at all. While my mom knew exactly what I was reading (after all, she read Danielle Steele and Nora Roberts, too) we never discussed it.

I know this is an extreme situation – the polar opposite of what today’s experts recommend. Certainly, I agree that parents should teach their teens about sex: the basic mechanics, safe sex for protection against disease and pregnancy, and the importance of not giving into peer pressure.

It’s also important to talk about the emotional connection forged after sex, which may surprise teenage girls who don’t fully understand the difference between love and lust; sometimes, those “feel-close” hormones can even throw grown women for a loop after a casual encounter.

Girls are giving blowjobs at 13 and 14 years old. (Note to the experts: Surprise! This is NOT a new phenomenon!) So it’s wise for parents to explain that STI’s can be transmitted through oral sex and condom use is important. Parents shouldn’t just pretend it’s not happening or even that it’s an atrocity.  It happens, has been happening probably since the dawn of time, and will continue to happen.  Sex education in schools, one-on-one conversations  at home, and buying sex toys for our teens won’t change that. The best we can do is educate teens on how to be safe and protect against disease and pregnancy. Well, that or chastity belts.

A Vibe for your Teen?
While I’m very much in favor of sex education and parents talking to their kids about sex, I also agree with Gayle King that to buy a teenage girl a vibrator is, indeed, “TMI.” I think discussions with teens about sex should lean toward the practical and the clinical. Of course, if a teenager has any questions, they should be answered open and honestly, and parents should make it clear that their kids can come to them with questions.

But I can imagine only one reaction if my mother ever brought up the topic of vibrators, masturbation or the specifics of orgasm: complete mortification. I can’t imagine it would be comfortable for many teenagers – or their parents. And I don’t see many benefits to it.

With all due respect, I think Dr. Berman is not giving enough consideration to the other reasons teenagers have sex, including the same reason vibrators don’t replace real-life lovers for grown-ups. Whether you’re 14 or 40, a sex toy—while fun—can never replace the intimacy of sex with someone you love (or even like a whole lot!)

5 Fall Libido-Busters… and How to Get in the Mood Anyway

Summer’s over, the kids are back to school. Between new schedules to follow, braving the malls for back-to-school shopping, and finances stretched too thin, all this stress can make anyone’s libido lose its lustre.

Here are five of the more common, seasonal sex-drive busters… and how to combat them.

Libido-buster #1: Cooler weather. Studies have linked warm weather to an increased sex drive, especially in women. Sunlight elevates the production and secretion of Melanocyte Stimulating Hormone (MSH), along with increasing the production of feel-good neurotransmitter serotonin. Both chemicals are linked to increasing your sex drive.  It stands to reason, then, that as the days get shorter, bringing a little less sunlight into our lives, our sex drives drop.

Libido Enhancer: Take a walk. Treasure those last lingering days of warmth. Get as much sun as possible. Take a walk outside during lunch, savoring the scent of the fresh autumn air. The exercise and sunlight will boost your mood and put you IN the mood.

Libido-buster #2: Cold & allergy medications For some, the change in seasons brings about a cold or allergy symptoms. We often obliterate the runny nose and sniffles with a decongestant, but decongestant, by definition, are designed to dry us out – and they don’t affect just our nose and sinuses, unfortunately.

Libido Enhancer: Look to natural remedies, including neti-pots and Vitamin C. If you suffer from pollen allergies, eating a few spoonfuls of natural honey from your region may help. If you take a decongestant, use plenty of extra lube to counter the natural effects.

Libido-buster #3: Stress: The holidays haven’t even arrived but many of us are a bundle of nerves already. The good news is that sex is a great stress-buster… but you have to get in the mood first.

Libido Enhancer: Fake it till you wanna make it! I’m not advocating faking an orgasm, but there’s nothing wrong with pretending to be in the mood during foreplay. Turn your bedroom into a love sanctuary that allows you to lock out the world. Then relax and revel in the closeness between you and your lover and soon, you’ll find that your actions have actually changed your mood!

Libido-buster #4: Fatigue: New fall schedules may throw your entire household off-kilter, leaving everyone short on sleep and irritable.

Libido Enhancer: A good night’s rest: Remember, it really is best to get a full eight hours every night, and kids need more. Make sure the kids are going to bed early enough to rise without a fight. Get up (and go to bed) at the same times on weekends as weekdays to fight fatigue with a consistent schedule.
One big benefit of fall? The shorter days mean longer nights – think about turning in early after you put the kids to bed to rekindle the romantic spark of summer.

Libido-buster #5: Weight gain: Now that bikini season’s over, you may feel as if there’s less reason to watch what you eat. Cooler weather brings cravings for comfort food, which make it easier to pack on the pounds. Extra layers of clothing, too, can leave you feeling less than desirable.

Libido-enhancer: A new wardrobe? Back-to-school shopping isn’t just for the kids. If budget permits, treat yourself to a sexy new outfit. And don’t forget the lingerie. Then go home, take a hot bath, complete with candles around the tub and sensual suds. Slip on your new ensemble, and prepare to seduce your lover. You look wonderful, dah-ling!

The Ancient Egyptian “Turin Erotic Papyrus”

It seems that about five minutes after paper was invented, someone invented porn. The Turin Erotic Papyrus, sometimes called Papyrus 55001, is a collection of 12 erotic “stories” discovered on ancient Egyptian scrolls.

In each of the 12 pictures, couples enjoy different sexual positions – some highly unlikely, or, at the very least, extremely uncomfortable. Since the scrolls’ discovery, people have been speculating whether the 12 drawings are a message to the gods, a fertility ritual, or  evidence of the earliest erotica. Maybe a combination of all three.

In his report “Eros in Egypt,” scholar David O’Connor describes the scrolls: “In each vignette a grotesquely aroused, unkempt man has sexual relations with an attractive young woman. The woman, while virtually naked, is decidedly more elegant than her partner. The sexual positions are varied and extremely vivid.”

That sounds eerily like the DVD I watched last night. It seems porn hasn’t changed much in 3,200-or-so years.

The scrolls depict Egyptians drinking alcohol, gathered around tables partying, and having sex. More evidence not much has changed.

The most surprising thing about the scrolls is that it seems to contradict the Egyptians’ other, more chaste drawings, particularly  hieroglyphs carved into cave walls. For instance, a man and woman may sit side-by-side at a table, symbolizing their marriage and union, but they rarely touch.

The Egyptians also leaned toward euphemistic symbols. A bow and arrow, used to depict “shooting,” may mean “ejaculation.” Some drawings would feature a burly man shooting his “arrow” directly at a female figure.

Aside from the erotic papyrus, the really juicy drawings were found on the cave walls where Egyptian kings were buried. While ancient Egyptians were extremely discrete about sex between mortal men and women, for the gods, life was one big orgy. Many photos of the well-endowed god of fertility, Min, grace cave walls. One would never see a human male unclothed in most Egyptian drawings.

Even between gods, however, sex between a male and female in human form was taboo. Instead, gods cavorted in animal form. The most famous example is a love scene between Osiris and Isis, in which Osiris lies aroused, face up, while Isis flies over him in the form of a bird. Apparently, for the ancient Egyptians, bestiality was okay.

But, moving back to the scrolls – one of the most interesting panels depicts an orgy, with at least three couples engaged in different sexual activities. In the center of the panel, a naked woman sits perched on a cone-like seat, as her partner’s hand gropes her. Is this evidence of the first ancient sex toy?

Perhaps the real question is, “Who cares?” We all know sex has been around as long as there were beings around to reproduce, but it’s fascinating to think about ancient civilizations enjoying the same pleasures we do — complete with friends, spirits and even sex toys!