In a previous blog, we showcased several costumes suitable for Halloween or everyday role-playing fun. They say clothes may make the man (or the woman) but it’s your imagination that brings the characters to life.

Like talking dirty, role-playing stretches your mind during sex, leading to an experience that is fulfilling on multiple levels. When your mind is on something else—creating a scene—pleasure is prolonged. All the senses come into play, and the physical is merely one aspect of the ecstasy. But it’s not easy to do if you’re self-conscious—either of your abilities to come up with a tantalizing storyline, or your ability to share your fantasies.

First, relax. Close your eyes. Put yourself in the moment. Then just start talking, saying whatever comes into your head. No one is asking for Hollywood-caliber screenwriting here. (Although we’re sure you can do better than some of the lines from the latest Mummy movie!)

If you’re playing doctor and nurse, for instance, you don’t need to re-enact a script from ER. Toss in some campy medical terminology if you’d like, but use your standard porno flick script as your model. The goal of most scenes is simply to get the couple screwing. If your dialogue is silly and you both start laughing, that’s okay. Go with it. Pretend you’re famous porn stars, playing a doctor and nurse in a flick, and you flubbed your lines. (The old scene-within-a-scene literary device.)

In between the cheesy come-ons, make sure to inject some of your fantasies into the game. You don’t need to create a drama; a climax or two is the only necessary element in this story. If you need some guidance, just answer the five questions of news writing:

Who? You and your lover, obviously.

What? Have fun with this one, build up anticipation for the act by detailing exactly how you want to rip that little white skirt off her)

When? Create a sequence of events to build passion and anticipation

Where? The operating table? Your office? The supply closet where the passing janitor may overhear you in the throes of passion?

Why? Compliment your partner profusely. You may also want to toss in a little back story: how you came to meet, how long you’ve been lusting after Dr. Goodbody, why now is the perfect time to release your unadulterated passion for each other.

Before you know it, the costumes will come off and then it’s your choice to continue your passion “play” or just fuck like mad. Happy acting!

I’m a lingerie junkie. I’ve always preferred black and frilly, but my husband has a penchant for white and slinky.

It took a lot for me to don a white lace teddy the first time, but as soon as I got over my lack of confidence, the idea that only basic black is flattering and slimming, I packed an entire suitcase with white or pretty pastel-colored lingerie for our honeymoon. He loved it!

Of course, I was thrilled to see that Vibrator.com has expanded its lingerie line and posted it right on the home page. It’s taking every bit of willpower I have right now to blog instead of shop!

I find it a little sad that some women aren’t comfortable enough with their bodies to enjoy the power of lingerie. Yes, power. You’re putting on a peek-a-boo show for your partner; you’re in control of what you’re wearing — and when it comes off.

Most men will drool over whatever you don, whether it’s black leather or white lace. But when you find a style that fits your body, you’ll love the way you look, you’ll feel sexier… and that will make all the difference.

Pear-shaped… If you have a figure that may be described as “hippy,” look for a style that draws the eye upward. Fun, flirty detailing or a strapless style that accentuates your bust will stimulate his senses.

Large-busted… It probably doesn’t take much to get your guy all a-quiver over your assets. If you’ve got it, show it off! Remember, you do want some support, for both comfort and looks, so don’t shy away from foam-molded cups. Fashion experts also recommend a halter top for large-chested women. Not everyone can get away with a halter style, so if you’re lucky enough to pull this off—he’ll be pulling it off you in no time!

Slim… Women with a slim or boyish figure can basically get away with any style, so get adventurous! Colors and patterns add girlish dimensions to your figure, while flirty accents, such as fringes, on the bottom draw attention to your legs while disguising straight hips.

Full-figured… Vibrator.com has a full line of lingerie for larger women, too. Look for a supportive top and a style that makes you feel great!

Whatever your size or shape, looking good in lingerie is mainly about attitude. Whether you’re small and perky or classically-figured and well-endowed, turn up those lights and flaunt what you’ve got.

Since its inception, eBay has developed some pretty stringent rules as to what items they will permit to be placed up for auction. They’ve taken some heat for banning the sale of firearms, and they don’t permit users to sell used underwear, either. But sometimes interesting sales slip through the cracks.

Recently, a scorned Australian woman sold an empty condom packet (size small, of course) and a photo of lacy underwear (size humongous) after finding them in her cheating husband’s bed. Ebay pulled the original auction, which included “the tart’s” actual black lace “knickers.”

By some accounts, bidding for the panties and condom wrapper had reached six figures. The photograph wound up selling for $303, proving that a picture may be worth a thousand words, but it’s definitely not as valuable as old underwear.

But that doesn’t beat Natalie Dylan, who is auctioning off her virginity to pay for her Master’s Degree. Her offer didn’t make it past eBay’s Terms of Service personnel, although I distinctly recall hearing of similar auctions on eBay in the past.

Dylan’s idea is not unprecedented. In 2004, lesbian Rosie Reid sold her virginity through her own Web site after eBay nixed her auction. Reid received more than $20,000, which she put toward her college education.

With the rising costs of tuition, let’s hope Dylan fares somewhat better than earning enough for just one-year at a private school. She should; she has the publicity behind her. Famed shock jock Howard Stern and Dennis Hof of the world-famous BunnyRanch brothel in Las Vegas have gotten behind the 22-year-old virgin (no, not like that!) to promote her endeavor.

Stern announced the auction on his radio show on Tuesday, September 9, and bidding is taking place through Hof’s site, BunnyRanch.com. Dylan (not her real name) says she won’t just sleep with the highest bidder, but will take bids until she finds someone she’s happy with. The deal will be sealed at the BunnyRanch, where Dylan’s sister already works.

Scam? Or capitalism at its best (and worst)? Stay tuned, as we’ll be following this story to its erotic end.

As for me? I’m off to check out college savings plans for any future daughters I may have!

The Museum of Sex in New York opened its exhibit on The Sex Lives of Animals yesterday. This “new natural history” presents nature’s uncensored story of animal sexuality extending far beyond ritualistic mating, and examining the real possibility than humans aren’t the only creatures who enjoy geting laid.

Sculptor Rune Olsen brings the exhibit to life with startling and beautiful displays of members of the animal kingdom in full coitus. “Deer Threesome” is a marvel!

A host of scientists, academics and experts are on the board of advisory for this exhibit, so you know it ain’t just hardcore animal porn. And even if it is, they’ve legitimized it by signing on.

If you haven’t been to The Museum of Sex, there’s no better time. The Sex Lives of Animals is open from July 24, 2008 through Spring 2009. More information can be found on The Museum of Sex Website. Sorry, no pets allowed!

First American Pie made Stifler’s mom famous, then the rock band Fountains of Wayne popularized “Stacey’s Mom.” Now, MILFs are cool.

No one ever really talks about DILFs, but, let’s face it, older men ARE sexy. And it didn’t take a pop song or a teen movie to remind us of that, or to make it socially acceptable to drool over the likes of Pierce Brosnan, Sean Connery, George Clooney or Harrison Ford.

I noticed something interesting in the movie posters for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Many of the photos in the promotional material had been airbrushed to make Harrison Ford look younger, with far less wrinkles. However, I found his–let’s call it “weathered”–face in the actual movie equally attractive. He’s still got that crooked smile, the twinkle in his eye.

Even so, I think the Japanese are taking it a bit too far. The country that gave us animated characters with size 32DD breasts now brings us an unexpected, yet rapidly-growing genre: “elder porn.”

A recent article on Time magazine’s website spotlighted 74-year-old Japanese porn star, Shigeo Tokuda. Yes, 74 years old. Tokuda, whose name has become a popular brand in his native country, has appeared in 340 adult films over the past 14 years.

Members of the Japanese adult film industry say the genre appeals to both young and old. The elderly can relate to the story lines of a younger woman and older man, while younger viewers are intrigued by the experience and mystery of older stars.

The Time article reports that while videos featuring hot young starlets tend to sell for three months, then drop in popularity, movies with older adult stars—male and female—garner long-term, steady sales. A few years ago, according to the article, “mature women” titles represented girls in their 20s. Now, the genre spans from what Americans might consider the “typical” MILF age-range of 30 to 50 all the way up to GILFs in their seventies.

My first natural reaction to this article was: Ewww!! Then I remembered: Isn’t Sean Connery in his 70s now?

What about you? Who are your favorite DILFs and GILFs?

We recently talked about foot fetishes in this blog. Compared to some of the activities people engage in for sexual gratification, toes are pretty tame!

What are some of the more unusual fetishes?

• Balloon fetishists, called Looners, are sexually stimulated by balloons. Some enjoy inflating or popping them, while others enjoy the look, colors, smell, sound movement or the tactile sensations, comparing it to skin.
• Introduced to the mainstream recently by the viral video, Two Girls, One Cup, Coprophilia is a fetish involving sexual pleasure from feces—rubbing it on oneself while masturbating, pooping on a partner, etc. I don’t want to pass judgment, but it’s hard for me to get through this segment without gagging, although it does remind me of a scene in a certain movie—and our next fetish.
• First introduced in Team America and now featured on Broadway in Avenue Q, it’s hard to tell whether “puppet porn” is a fetish or just a pop-culture phenomenon. One of the attractions, I’m sure, is seeing puppets engage in acts on stage and film that would qualify as hard-core porn if they were performed by actual human beings. For instance, Team America was the first R-rated film to include a Cleveland Steamer. But hey, they’re puppets. It’s okay.
• If puppets don’t turn you on, you may try Hentai, or X-rated Japanese animation. What’s not to love about large-breasted, doe-eyed, barely legal babes in short skirts—even if they are cartoons?
• I never knew “casting” was a sexual fetish, so I’m adding it to this list, although, compared to some of the other activities listed, it is downright tame. Called “casters,” these fetishists enjoy looking at casts on people or being constrained by casts themselves.
  “For my husband, it’s a variation of the foot fetish. Others like arms and such,” says “CastBitch,” who runs www.castbitch.com. “For some, it’s the feeling of not being able to move, like bondage. For others, it is the attention; they are getting away with something secret.” CB first discovered the fetish when she found links to Web sites and photos on her husband’s computer. “He about fell out of his chair when I told him, ‘Let’s try it!’”

That, of course, is every fetishist’s dream—to have a partner willing to engage in their fetish with them.

What should you do if a partner approaches you, wanting to try something unusual in the bedroom? If it’s not something that completely turns you off, give it a shot.

One of the great things about sharing a fetish with your partner is the intimacy it evokes. Since most fetishists are not very open and public about their turn-ons, you are sharing something very special, just between you and your partner.

Decades ago, fetishists would be incarcerated in asylums for their disorders. Considering the true meaning of the word, that’s not surprising.

A “fetish,” according to its clinical definition, is a sexual disorder where a person cannot get aroused without a particular object, body part, fantasy or behavior. The person may fantasize obsessively about his fetish, sometimes to the exclusion of normal social behavior. That doesn’t sound like fun, does it?

In recent years, though, the word has evolved to encompass many types of unusual, and even some not-so-unusual, sexual behaviors. If you enjoy an activity or appreciate the beauty in a particular body part, but don’t need it during every sexual encounter to get aroused, a so-called “fetish” can be quite fun to explore.
A foot fetish is a common, “mainstream” fetish, if you will. It’s quite easy to see the sensual attraction to feet. After all, what’s not to love about smooth, pampered soles, finely polished toenails, the sensual arc of a woman’s foot and, of course, sexy and powerful stiletto heels? (Just writing this makes me yearn for a pedicure!)

Beach season brings plenty for a foot fetishist to feast upon and enjoy. (And is it just a coincidence that a thong describes a sexy piece of clothing worn in two separate places? Or that low-cut shoes create sensual and revealing “toe cleavage?”)
According to the principles of Reflexology, the foot contains powerful nerve endings that can elicit amazing physical and even sexual responses. Performed by certified reflexologists, it can also treat ailments and diseases.

But you don’t have to be a pro to give a relaxing, sensual foot massage. You may want to study reflexology charts to learn what parts of the foot correspond with different parts of the body. Other than that, a little massage oil and a firm but gentle touch will have your lady swooning.

Approach from the top of the foot, or even her calf, and work your way down, if your lady proves to be too ticklish down there at first. Warm up her feet, too, with some rapid rubbing.

From a simple massage, foot play can progress to even more sensual, playful and arousing experiences. Try toe-sucking, or even a foot job. (Yes, that is exactly what it sounds like.) If you ask your partner to pull on silky stockings, you’ll like the feel of her toes and feet all over your body; you may even be ready to come by the time she gets to the main attraction.
Now, looking at it that way, is a fetish really all that bad?

There are people who love anal play—and those who haven’t tried it.

Maybe that’s an exaggeration. Some men are too squeamish to even entertain the idea. But for many men, once they’ve released those inhibitions and experienced prostate stimulation for the first time, they find it a fun and intimate addition to their love life.

There are two important rules to remember for safe anal play between monogamous partners.

1). While ass-to-mouth is a personal choice, never, ever (that’s never!) go ass-to-vagina. Not with the cock, not with a finger, and not with a toy that hasn’t been thoroughly cleaned first. It can cause urinary tract infections and other icky and painful ailments.

2). Too much lube is almost enough lube!

Anal play is probably not a topic most men want to discuss outside the bedroom. The best tactic is to make a move in the throes of ecstasy and see how he responds.

These same rules and techniques apply to women and anal stimulation. Although women don’t have a prostate, the anal area contains one of the largest concentrations of nerve endings, making it one of the more sensitive parts of the male or female body.

If you have long nails, place cotton balls in the finger tips of a latex (or in the case of a latex allergy, synthetic rubber) glove. The glove will create a smooth sensation and the cotton will prevent injury due to sharp finger nails. If your nails are already short, make sure they are filed with no rough edges.

Even inserting just a finger, you’ll want to use some lube. You can use your own juices if you’re extremely wet, but a lubricant like Doc Johnson’s Anal Lube will help ensure a good, smooth experience.

Try moving your finger in and out a few times while he gets accustomed to the sensation. You’ll find the prostate a few inches above the anus, on the belly side. Finding it is similar to finding a woman’s g-spot. In fact, it’s sometimes called the “male g-spot.”

Combining prostate stimulation with a blow job or hand job can create unprecedented pleasure. But men can have an amazing orgasm from prostate stimulation alone. Massage the prostate in the same way you would the g-spot, with a rubbing, “come here” motion.

If your guy likes the feeling of your finger up there, you may want to introduce a toy. Anal probes range in size from “starter models,” measuring a slender 1-inch across, to thicker, 2 or 3-inch models with varying-sized bulbs or ribs for increased pleasure.

For beginners, look for a slender butt plug with a thick base; it will be easier to control. Thicker plugs can create a great feeling of being “filled up,” but you’ll want to work your way up to larger models.

This slender jelly toy features a smooth shaft on one side and pleasure bulbs measuring up to an inch on the other, making it a toy that will “grow with you” as you become more adventurous and want the sensation of graduated bulbs.

Anal probes and plugs are usually manufactured from PVC jelly, rubber, silicone or glass. Don’t forget the lube!

You can also try a vibrating probe, such as this waterproof anal vibe from Doc Johnson.

Remember to go slow. It will build up anticipation and minimize pain or the chance of dangerous rips to delicate skin.

Once you and your lover start exploring anal play, you’ll find hundreds of toys, in every price range, available to help.

Does a light smack on the bottom get you wiggling with delight? Have you joked with your lover about being tied up, but never had the nerve to try it? Do pink furry handcuffs seem silly—or sexy? It’s easier than you might think to introduce light BDSM activities into your bedroom!
BDSM stands for bondage & discipline; domination & submission; and sadomasochism (or S&M). BDSM activities evoke intense sexual pleasure through pain, fear or humiliation (or all three) between consenting adults.

As in all sexual activities, trust, communication and safety are paramount.

Experts advise that conversations regarding sex take place outside the bedroom, rather than in the heat of the moment. This is reasonable advice. But I can’t see, “Pass the salt and, oh, I’d like you to tie me up and flog me tonight,” going over well at the dinner table.

Find a time and place that works for you and your partner, whether it’s during a long car ride or at night before you drift off to sleep.

One thing you’ll want to discuss is limits. Maybe you’re comfortable, as a sub,with “anything he wants.” He, on the other hand, is squeamish about doing anything that will hurt you. That’s okay. Plenty of activities don’t involve overt pain, but will evoke desirable, sexy fear and humiliation to satisfy a sub’s cravings. When you make your foray into BDSM, start slow.

A safe word tells the “top” (dominating) partner to stop what he’s doing. It should be a word not normally uttered during play, so it won’t be used accidentally or misunderstood. Some couples use “green,” “yellow” and “red” to indicate “continue,” “continue, slowly,” or “stop.” If you’re using a ball gag, you’ll have to decide on non-verbal cues (or a series of grunts) as a safe “word.”

Whether you’re a top or bottom, BDSM will evoke unique emotions of power and control or fear and pain, respectively. Some subs report that the adrenaline rush dulls the pain while heightening orgasmic pleasure.

A blindfold can create intense anticipation as the sub is left wondering what part of the body might be stimulated next. The loss of sight also intensifies the other senses. The dom enjoys the power and the pleasure of eliciting such extreme ecstasy in his or her sub.

A dom can also take control by restraining his partner with handcuffs, silk ropes or cuff restraints. Many “all-in-one” beginner kits provide the basics to get started.

You may want to try rubber-coated nipple clamps, which create a blend of pain and excitement, or a feather tickler for harmless, yet torturous, fun. Cock rings can be great for male subs, resulting in more intense orgasms…when his Dominatrix finally lets him cum.

If you’ve dreamed of experiencing complete loss of power at the hands of your lover, or being the one in charge during your next adventure, why not give it a try?

STATUEPHILIA

If you’ve ever seen someone looking shifty and rather hot under the collar near David’s larger than life goods at the Accademia in Florence, chances are they are a Statuephile.

Statuephilia, also called agalmatophilia, or Pygmalionism after the myth of Pygmalion, is an uncommon sexual fetish that involves sexual attraction to statues.

But it doesn’t end there, Statuephiles are also aroused by simple blow-up dolls, as well as those new ones that look very lifelike and are made of rubber.

DORAPHILIA

The red carpet and 5th Ave are usually lined with ladies (and men) in fur coats, and while some of us either gush over how great they look, or grind our teeth for the sake of the animals, Doraphiles get turned on by them.

Doraphalia is a sexuoerotic arousal and fetishistic fondness for the smell and feel of animal skin, fur, or leather. In other words, PETA’s worst nightmare.

TRICHOPHILIA

Ever gone to the hairdresser and s/he spent a little too long brushing your hair, it’s a possibility that s/he is a trichophile. Trichophilia is actually a fetish for hair, or new hairstyles. No doubt razor-happy wig-wearing’ Britney is a hot item in Trichophilia circles.

Trichophilia is a fetish in which one becomes sexually aroused by, or is extremely fond of, human hair (usually cephalic); this may be of hair in general or different hairstyles or colors. Arousal may also occur from imagery and physical contact of hair, this including head hair, pubic hair, and axillary hair.

STHENOLAGNIA

We’ve all seen the female body-building competitions and gasped in disbelief at the ladies with all those bulky muscles who look so un-feminine, but Sthenolagnia is a condition where men find that hugely sexually attractive.

Sthenolagnia is a fetish (related to female muscle growth) defined as ’sexual arousal from demonstration of strength or muscles’. The term was coined by the German psychologist Magnus Hirschfeld in the late 1800s. Some activities that might arouse these men include various types of lifts and carries that illustrate different aspects of female strength, muscle worship, wrestling muscular girls, fantasies of rape by muscular women, being used as human dumbbells for women, etc.

SALIROMANIA

Saliromaniacs like nothing more than putting on an evening gown, then rolling around in sty. Anything from dirt to smearing make-up, tousling hair, or ripping clothes is this turn on.

Salirophila is a sexual fetish that involves deriving erotic pleasure from soiling or disheveling the object of one’s desire, usually an attractive person. It may involve tearing or damaging their clothing, covering them in mud or filth, messing their hair or makeup. The fetish does not involve harming or injuring the subject, only their appearance.

Man, I wouldn’t mind slinging some mud at Paris Hilton, but I’d also want her to make an oinking sound too. Maybe that’s another fetish.

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