All that talk of kissing in my last blog got me thinking about flavored products. The right lip gloss not only makes your lips soft, smooth and succulent, but it can add a pleasant flavor to a kiss.

Likewise, Nipple Nibblers lotion not only adds a sweet, pleasant-tasting tingle to your nipples, it’s also recommended for the lips. Available in sun-ripened strawberry, this lotion from Holiday Products is a steal at only $8 for the 2 oz. container.

But let’s work our way down as we explore some of  Desiree Sweet’s favorite lubes, lotions and condoms to make oral sex even sweeter.

Sweeten’d Blow – This cleverly named pleasure gel comes in raspberry, vanilla and watermelon and has a lubricating effect for an extra smooth blow job. Vibrator.com offers plenty of different oral sex gels, but this blogger likes the unique flavors of Sweeten’d Blow and the campy container.

Boi Toyz Blow Job Drops – Just a few drops of this minty concoction on your tongue gives your partner a tingly treat. Lots of fun for the adventurous couple! Best of all, it’s available in minty combinations of spearmint, cinnamon, wintergreen and chocolate mint.

Oral Delight Couples Kit – This kit from Doc Johnson has it all: Wild cherry-flavored Good Head lotion for blow jobs, strawberry-flavored LickMe licker gel for her, plus a mini-waterproof massager and UR3 slipper tongue sleeve for the vibe. You can use this exciting foursome in any combination for a full night of oral pleasure.

Astroglide Sensual Strawberry – If you’re looking for an effective, light, water-based lube that is safe for use with condoms, you can’t beat the classic Astroglide. Add strawberry flavor and you have a true winner! This lubricant keeps you wet and slippery for hours while adding a light taste that’s not too sugary-sweet. Definitely a favorite of this blogger!

Four Seasons Flavored Condoms – Oral sex with a regular condom can leave a rubbery taste in your mouth; flavored condoms are the way to go. And because variety is the spice of life (and your sex life!) this four-pack gives you four different flavors: banana, strawberry, blueberry and chocolate.

The Collection - Flavored massage oils add a great taste and scent to foreplay. This kit from Kama Sutra offers five 1 oz. bottles of tasty massage oil in sensual flavors such as chocolate mint, cherry almond, raspberry kiss and vanilla crème.
It’s important to remember that not every flavor appeals to every person. (Although we’ve yet to find the individual who is turned off by chocolate!) Variety packs of condoms, flavored massage oils and drops help ensure that you are adding a pleasing taste for your partner. Before you apply a particular flavor, make sure to ask! You don’t want to be sent off to the showers with the line: “No, really, it’s not you! It’s the cherry lube!”

I’d forgotten how much fun dry humping and mutual masturbation can be! Due to medical reasons, your sex-hungry blogger is forced to abstain for six weeks.

Okay, okay, it’s actually a happy reason: all our “research” for this blog and the inspiration we found here at Vibrator.com resulted in the logical outcome, and, yours truly, Desiree Sweet recently gave birth to a beautiful baby girl!

Hubby and I are surviving the sleepless nights as well as we can, but we’ve also found ourselves more in love with—and turned on by—each other than ever before. This was something we were definitely not expecting; we figured six weeks of abstinence would be quite easy to endure amidst dirty diapers, breastfeeding challenges and other decidedly un-sexy aspects of parenting. So what’s a girl to do?

Last night, we stepped back in time, teenagers-in-the-backseat-of-a-car style, to explore each other’s bodies and enjoy “everything but” intercourse. Last night started out with kissing, and lots of it. This sensual activity often gets forgotten as couples rush forward to the main attraction. Lovers focus on a few specific erogenous zones, neglecting the pleasure that can be discovered when four lips and two tongues connect.

Our bodies pressed together in a continuous embrace, all the right parts lined up, I came as I felt him growing against me…and had three more orgasms from the close contact, even through our clothes. Wanting something even more, however, we ended the night with mutual masturbation—lots of clitoral stimulation for me, and a treat of hand-and-mouth for him.

This brings me back to my opening line and what I learned from last night’s experience. It’s a sex advice article cliché to remind readers to enjoy foreplay. But why not turn foreplay into the main attraction every once in a while—even if you have no good reason to do so?

It often takes longer to reach orgasm through these creative methods—and you can stretch out the passion and torture even longer if you keep your clothes on. You’re forced to slow down and appreciate every step of the act, and, with that, everything about your lover.

You can even forego oral sex to find out how many unique ways you can make your lover cum. It may be a great time to introduce toys (keeping the “no penetration” rule in full effect) or see if you can bring your lover to the peaks of passion with words and fantasies alone. (For some women, this can happen!) If you find after this lengthy make-out session that you simply can’t resist intercourse–and have no reason not to–go for it! Rules are made to be broken, after all.

I can’t wait for that first post-pregnancy, passion-filled quickie while our little sweetie naps, but I’ll still be walking around with a secretive smile on my face for the next month or so.

In a previous blog, we showcased several costumes suitable for Halloween or everyday role-playing fun. They say clothes may make the man (or the woman) but it’s your imagination that brings the characters to life.

Like talking dirty, role-playing stretches your mind during sex, leading to an experience that is fulfilling on multiple levels. When your mind is on something else—creating a scene—pleasure is prolonged. All the senses come into play, and the physical is merely one aspect of the ecstasy. But it’s not easy to do if you’re self-conscious—either of your abilities to come up with a tantalizing storyline, or your ability to share your fantasies.

First, relax. Close your eyes. Put yourself in the moment. Then just start talking, saying whatever comes into your head. No one is asking for Hollywood-caliber screenwriting here. (Although we’re sure you can do better than some of the lines from the latest Mummy movie!)

If you’re playing doctor and nurse, for instance, you don’t need to re-enact a script from ER. Toss in some campy medical terminology if you’d like, but use your standard porno flick script as your model. The goal of most scenes is simply to get the couple screwing. If your dialogue is silly and you both start laughing, that’s okay. Go with it. Pretend you’re famous porn stars, playing a doctor and nurse in a flick, and you flubbed your lines. (The old scene-within-a-scene literary device.)

In between the cheesy come-ons, make sure to inject some of your fantasies into the game. You don’t need to create a drama; a climax or two is the only necessary element in this story. If you need some guidance, just answer the five questions of news writing:

Who? You and your lover, obviously.

What? Have fun with this one, build up anticipation for the act by detailing exactly how you want to rip that little white skirt off her)

When? Create a sequence of events to build passion and anticipation

Where? The operating table? Your office? The supply closet where the passing janitor may overhear you in the throes of passion?

Why? Compliment your partner profusely. You may also want to toss in a little back story: how you came to meet, how long you’ve been lusting after Dr. Goodbody, why now is the perfect time to release your unadulterated passion for each other.

Before you know it, the costumes will come off and then it’s your choice to continue your passion “play” or just fuck like mad. Happy acting!

I’m a lingerie junkie. I’ve always preferred black and frilly, but my husband has a penchant for white and slinky.

It took a lot for me to don a white lace teddy the first time, but as soon as I got over my lack of confidence, the idea that only basic black is flattering and slimming, I packed an entire suitcase with white or pretty pastel-colored lingerie for our honeymoon. He loved it!

Of course, I was thrilled to see that Vibrator.com has expanded its lingerie line and posted it right on the home page. It’s taking every bit of willpower I have right now to blog instead of shop!

I find it a little sad that some women aren’t comfortable enough with their bodies to enjoy the power of lingerie. Yes, power. You’re putting on a peek-a-boo show for your partner; you’re in control of what you’re wearing — and when it comes off.

Most men will drool over whatever you don, whether it’s black leather or white lace. But when you find a style that fits your body, you’ll love the way you look, you’ll feel sexier… and that will make all the difference.

Pear-shaped… If you have a figure that may be described as “hippy,” look for a style that draws the eye upward. Fun, flirty detailing or a strapless style that accentuates your bust will stimulate his senses.

Large-busted… It probably doesn’t take much to get your guy all a-quiver over your assets. If you’ve got it, show it off! Remember, you do want some support, for both comfort and looks, so don’t shy away from foam-molded cups. Fashion experts also recommend a halter top for large-chested women. Not everyone can get away with a halter style, so if you’re lucky enough to pull this off—he’ll be pulling it off you in no time!

Slim… Women with a slim or boyish figure can basically get away with any style, so get adventurous! Colors and patterns add girlish dimensions to your figure, while flirty accents, such as fringes, on the bottom draw attention to your legs while disguising straight hips.

Full-figured… Vibrator.com has a full line of lingerie for larger women, too. Look for a supportive top and a style that makes you feel great!

Whatever your size or shape, looking good in lingerie is mainly about attitude. Whether you’re small and perky or classically-figured and well-endowed, turn up those lights and flaunt what you’ve got.

Decades ago, fetishists would be incarcerated in asylums for their disorders. Considering the true meaning of the word, that’s not surprising.

A “fetish,” according to its clinical definition, is a sexual disorder where a person cannot get aroused without a particular object, body part, fantasy or behavior. The person may fantasize obsessively about his fetish, sometimes to the exclusion of normal social behavior. That doesn’t sound like fun, does it?

In recent years, though, the word has evolved to encompass many types of unusual, and even some not-so-unusual, sexual behaviors. If you enjoy an activity or appreciate the beauty in a particular body part, but don’t need it during every sexual encounter to get aroused, a so-called “fetish” can be quite fun to explore.
A foot fetish is a common, “mainstream” fetish, if you will. It’s quite easy to see the sensual attraction to feet. After all, what’s not to love about smooth, pampered soles, finely polished toenails, the sensual arc of a woman’s foot and, of course, sexy and powerful stiletto heels? (Just writing this makes me yearn for a pedicure!)

Beach season brings plenty for a foot fetishist to feast upon and enjoy. (And is it just a coincidence that a thong describes a sexy piece of clothing worn in two separate places? Or that low-cut shoes create sensual and revealing “toe cleavage?”)
According to the principles of Reflexology, the foot contains powerful nerve endings that can elicit amazing physical and even sexual responses. Performed by certified reflexologists, it can also treat ailments and diseases.

But you don’t have to be a pro to give a relaxing, sensual foot massage. You may want to study reflexology charts to learn what parts of the foot correspond with different parts of the body. Other than that, a little massage oil and a firm but gentle touch will have your lady swooning.

Approach from the top of the foot, or even her calf, and work your way down, if your lady proves to be too ticklish down there at first. Warm up her feet, too, with some rapid rubbing.

From a simple massage, foot play can progress to even more sensual, playful and arousing experiences. Try toe-sucking, or even a foot job. (Yes, that is exactly what it sounds like.) If you ask your partner to pull on silky stockings, you’ll like the feel of her toes and feet all over your body; you may even be ready to come by the time she gets to the main attraction.
Now, looking at it that way, is a fetish really all that bad?

When your lover says “talk dirty to me,” does your mind go blank and your tongue turn frigid? It’s tough to come up with creative, enticing, sexy statements that don’t sound like a bad porno.

In all likelihood, your lover doesn’t care exactly what you say, so long as you’re talking. Be honest about your thoughts and feelings, and describe your fantasies in as much detail as you can muster. You can always do a play-by-play, too, of what you’re doing to him or her—or what you’d like your lover to do to you.

But if you just can’t bring yourself to come up with enough dirty deeds and words to satisfy, why not let someone else do the hard part?

From Penthouse Magazine’s monthly letters (also collected in several books) to Anne Roquelaire’s Sleeping Beauty series, there’s enough erotica out there to keep you talking dirty for days.

It’s worth noting that some writers and readers choose to make distinctions between erotica and porn. Personally, I’ve always thought of erotica as having a plot and character development intertwined with scintillating sexual scenes. Porn gets straight to the sex.

When it comes down to it, however, the distinctions are irrelevant. Some couples may get turned on by the love scenes in a Harlequin romance, while others will seek the Fetish section of Literotica for their fix.

What makes books and stories better than off-the-cuff dirty talk? First, you can hide your eyes behind the book—a great bonus for someone who’s shy. Reading aloud can be even more titillating than talking dirty; it forces you to prolong the foreplay. Waiting to initiate sexual contact until the climax and resolution of the story can be hot! Trust me, you don’t want anything too long… no more than 10 pages or a few thousand words. The Wet collection features seven short, sensual stories that are perfect for reading aloud before bed.

Whatever your choice of–ahem–literature, here are a few tips for reading:

Take it slow. Take deep breaths between sentences, and pause after particularly racy scenes to let the experience sink in. Build tension by slowing down your speech.

You may naturally speak a little faster during action sequences or when the author uses a lot of short sentences in a row, but you never want to sound like you’re rushing to get to the next page.

Make sure to enunciate, don’t mumble. Also, don’t talk into the book as this will muffle your voice.

Use inflection. Remember those kids in school who used to read like robots? It was painful then, and it’s no fun to hear it now. Pretend you’re telling a story (which you are) and use natural inflection in your voice. If you can do it without sounding (or feeling) silly, you may even want to come up with different voices for different characters.

The first few times I read to my lover, I tried for a sexy, breathless “phone sex operator” voice and quickly discovered it was hard to keep up. Speak in whatever way feels natural to you, so long as it’s clear and slow. Most importantly, relax and enjoy the story yourself! That’s part of the fun!

Any long term relationship is bound to get a little mundane every now and then. Even the sickly sweet, madly in love couples eventually get distracted with children, bogged down in debt, and stressed by work and social commitments. Having sex with the same person after a few years can be like eating the same meal day in and day out: It may be delicious and your absolute favorite, but something about it leaves your pallet wanting a new taste.

This is common among married couples or long-term partners and is generally not an indication of how you feel for each other. Unfortunately, sometimes the wires get crossed and we react by withdrawing, having affairs, or taking out that unfulfilled anger on our loved ones.

Your relationship does not have to be over. Focus your energy on igniting new desires and sustaining the ones that brought you both together to begin with. Here are a few ideas to help get the blood pumping.

Watch an XXX movie together

While it’s true that many couples initially reject the idea, most will try it at least once. Women like pornography too! (Most don’t like to admit it, but the right kind of movie can turn her on instantly.) It is advisable to steer clear of anything too extreme unless you’re keenly aware of your partner’s interests and fantasies. Remember, this is about turning your partner on and not about sending your partner running for the hills. Exploring what gets you both in the mood can be a new learning experience.

Set the atmosphere

Write your partner a modest song or poem. Lay a trail of her favorite candy from the door to the shower where you’ve thoughtfully placed a dozen roses. Be open with your feelings and don’t be afraid to tell your partner how much you love them. Light some candles or incense. This should set the fire in both of you.

A bit of BDSM

Many people are secretly aroused by the thought of being tied up. Play cautiously in this area as you are exploring each others’ boundaries and trust. Bring an article of clothing like a necktie to bed. Test the waters by gently restraining your partner’s hands and wrists during foreplay. Pay close attention to your partner’s reactions. If all seems well then reach for the necktie and slowly and loosely place the tie around your partner’s wrists. Kiss and caress your partner and take your time! Like in many aspects of your relationship, communication will be key.

Putting food to good use

Strawberries and whipped cream are the staples of erotic foods and can be sensually fed to your partner in or out of the bedroom. Run a honey covered finger across your partner’s lips and see how quickly your finger ends up in her mouth. Covering your lover in whipped cream and licking it off may sounds cliché, but it does work for some. Feeding your partner resembles kissing and fellatio, and if discreetly performed outside the bedroom, act as occasional reminders of sexy things to come. Advancing these ideas in a public place may help you discover the exhibitionist or voyeur in the person you thought you knew so well.

Throughout your fast-paced days, take the time to slow down and be in the moment with the one you love. Listen to each other. Compromise. Be caring and compassionate. Above all else, be attentive to your partner’s needs, both in and out of the bedroom.