Prop 8 Upheld in Cali but Existing Marriages Still Legal

Perhaps your lover tied you up in full restraints and a ball gag this Memorial Day weekend and just released you this morning. If that’s the case, here’s the latest news not involving Jon and Kate:

On May 26, California Supreme Court voted to uphold Proposition 8, which makes gay marriage once again illegal. However, the 18,000 couples who were married between May and November 2008, when a law passed stating that Prop 8 is unconstitutional, are still legally married in the eyes of the California courts.

So if you are a gay or lesbian couple in California who got cold feet at the altar – you’re out of luck for now. He who hesitates is lost (hopefully only temporarily).

An article in the Christian Science Monitor reports Chief Justice Ronald George as writing that only the term “marriage” is withheld, and same-sex couples in a civil union will have the same rights as married heterosexual couples. Essentially, he’s implying the “spirit” of marriage will remain for gay couples – just not the terminology.

It feels like an empty victory, if it can be called any “victory” at all. Language is powerful and to offer gay and lesbian couples the same rights in a civil union as married  heterosexual couples enjoy smacks of unconstitutional segregation. Didn’t we (i.e., the United States) determine in the 60s that “separate but equal” isn’t really equal at all?

From an economic standpoint – which I’ve talked about before – at least the GLBT community receives the same financial benefits as straight married couples. But same-sex couples have made it abundantly clear that their argument is not about money, but about love and equality.

Meanwhile, with the latest ruling, the state of California loses any financial benefits of simply upholding Prop 8 and not recognizing any sort of legal union for same-sex couples. Maybe I was wrong and it’s not always about money – at least not entirely?

For reasons unfathomable to me in the liberal state of California, the decision seems to be more about preserving the so-called religious sanctity of the word (and concept of) marriage. Which brings us back to a very compelling argument about separation of church and state.

At this point, your happily married, mostly-heterosexual blogger – who really isn’t affected in either way by the whole argument other than as a human being and an American who believes in civil rights for all – just wants to throw up her arms in disgust and shout that either way you slice it: “Proposition 8 is WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!”

I’m not alone in that sentiment, either. Following the ruling, protest rallies and marches ensued in 100 major cities across the country. One of the largest took place in New York, beginning at Sheridan Place and ending in Union Square. City Council Speaker Christine Quinn implored the 1000-person crowd to lobby the state senate for gay marriage to be legalized in New York.

Iowa, Vermont, and Maine recently voted to legalize gay marriages, joining Massachusetts, where same-sex marriages have been legal since 2004.

I understand this is an extremely serious matter and we can only hope that public opinion and the GLBT community will once again sway lawmakers into legalizing gay marriage again – in California and in the remaining states. I can practically feel the frustration of Californians after all they’ve been through in fighting for their rights. But to end this post on a lighthearted note, I thought I would share this witty – and I hope facetious! — blog post about why gay marriage *isn’t* fair to straight couples, especially brides-to-be!

Drag Queen Names

Our resident blogger Desiree Sweet recently posted an article entitled “Secret Identities”. However applicable to all, let’s take this opportunity to divulge into the world known exclusively by the LGBT community, men who cross-dress, and their friends: Drag Queens.

There are, of course, many famous drag queens of past and present. From those who paved the way like Dame Edna Everage, Margo Howard-Howard, and Divine to Ru Paul and gender bending myspace sensation Jeffree Starr; the evolution of drag has been a progressive one. Still, without such stylish, well crafted stage-names, dressing in women’s clothing could not have come so far!

While it’s not as scientific an approach as choosing your porn star name, there are still some rules that can be followed. As with most beginnings, the starting point should include sufficient amounts of beer, wine, or spirits. A refresher viewing of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert or To Wong Fu might help. Some may recommend the Queen of the Night music video, but don’t be fooled by Whitney Houston in a bad wig.

Drag Names consist of 3 main types, according to my friend Wikipedia. The first are satirical plays on words like Peaches Christ or Candis Cayne. My favorite that I’m sure I didn’t write but like to pretend I did is “Anita Labotomy.” The second type relates to glamour, extravagance, and even royalty. Dame Edna Everage, and The Lady Chablis come to mind. My friend Eliot came up with “Petifore Seasons” the other night. The third type generally has cultural or historical significance or an in-depth and usually familiar backstory. Ricky Reeves and Divine fall into this scheme. My friend Brian coined the offensive and clever “Krystal Nacht” as his drag persona.

But don’t let Wikipedia hinder your creativity. There really are no rules! Try experimenting by drinking more alcohol, as I did for this article. “Miss” is always a good place to start, but don’t get stuck in it. “Miss Appropriation”, “Miss Behavin’”, and “Miss Take” are old Queens, honey, and they’re not getting any younger! Capitalize on celebrities and try “Britney Rears”. Mess it up and try “Sarah Jessica Raphael”. Create an involved backstory about how you’re carrying the baby of the bell boy you met for that one night at the Sheraton, and voila, girl – “Uniqua Hotelbelboy”!

What’s your Drag Queen Name?

Election Day Brings Sad News for California GLBT Community

And so it goes, again…

Thousands of gay and lesbian couples in California celebrated this past June when the state’s Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage, as reported here.

But November 4 saw Proposition 8, an amendment that overturns the Supreme Court’s decision, pass, with 52 percent of California voters supporting the ban on gay marriage.

The proposition was backed by a tremendous grassroots campaign, Yes on Proposition 8. According to the organization’s Web site, the group raised more than $40 million from more than 70,000 contributors and garnered the active support of 100,000-plus volunteers.

Some media voices attribute Proposition 8’s success to the large number of African-American voters who turned out to support Obama. In an editorial, the Los Angeles Times hypothesized that “many African Americans, who tend to have strong ties to their churches, believe that same-sex marriage is immoral.” This group therefore voted for Prop 8.

Need I point out the irony of a demographic of people largely conservative in their social views voting to elect a liberal Democrat president? Or that such a notoriously Blue state as California pass such a conservative proposition?

The LA Times editorial also astutely pointed out that the “No on 8” side never countered the Yes on 8 group’s marketing efforts with its own effective campaign.

Several celebrities, however, did stand up against the proposition. Ellen DeGeneres, who was one of 1,500 people married in a June ceremony, even paid for Public Service Announcements to air on television. On her official blog, she commented on the election of Barack Obama and the Prop 8 results: “Here we just had a giant step toward equality and then on the very next day, we took a giant step away.”

It’s true… As civil rights took a step forward with the election of a black President, it took a step backward when it comes to equality for all.

The good news, according to the LA Times report? In 2001, 61 percent voted down same-sex marriage. This year, the proposition passed by just over half. Baby steps.

I Kissed a Girl, Too!

Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It” is more than just a catchy pop tune. It seems to be a trend in society. Are there more bi-curious women out there now, or are we just getting more comfortable and open about our sexuality? Is this the new age of free love, a much more innocent free love? (After all, it’s just kissing!)

A friend once presented to me the theory that all human beings have a little bit of bisexuality in them. You can choose to squelch it or embrace it. Have bi-curious buddies been exploring each other in dark corners for years, just not talking about it? Or is Perry’s song, and the prevalence of casual girl-on-girl hook-ups in the media actually giving women ideas to try something they’d scarcely considered before?

Admittedly, many women who hook up with other women – I’m not talking about lesbians or true bisexuals, but straight women, often in relationships with men – do it for attention from the opposite sex. There’s not much that will get a guy hotter than watching his girlfriend and her best friend hook up, even if it’s just for a lengthy wet kiss.

But c’mon girls, let’s think of ourselves and our own needs, too. There’s definitely an attraction to women. Girls are cute. We’re cuddly, our lips are soft and, as a general rule, we smell better than men. Add flavored lip gloss – or chapstick — to the mix and we taste better, too!

There’s the whole novelty of a completely new and different partner, and the added excitement of doing something still considered taboo. There’s also something to like about a safe, friendly, no-strings-attached hook-up between two otherwise straight women. It’s less complicated when there are no expectations. Clearly, you won’t date. You’re both straight. It doesn’t matter if she calls you in the morning. Or if you ever see her again, even.

If you decide to hook up with a friend, be careful. The same complications exist as two friends of opposite genders hooking up, to a degree. Of course, again, there’s no expectation of a long-term relationship, but it can get weird if you let it. Best to kiss and forget it. Do not over-analyze the situation on the phone the next day, and don’t go into your next get-together with any expectations. If you both enjoyed it, chances are it will happen again. Kissing, and anything else that may follow a sexy kiss, is fun!

All this, of course, does beg the question: how many straight women are doing more than just kissing? And when will we hear that song on the radio?

I Remember The Day I Met Tammy – Part 3

She’s being so careful, I can tell. Her bites lack that edge of pain I know to associate with bruising. She’s denting my skin, and will perhaps leave a faint shadow or two, but the dents will mostly just last for the time we’re together. Her hand is grabbing my hair with ferocity, but she’s restraining in her pulls, timid about hurting me too much, timid about scaring me by forcing my face into the shower stream for too long. But it’s working regardless, I am being thrown into a heady place by all of the sensations. Warm water washes over me as I curve my back with the pulls at my hair. I shriek and groan as her teeth rest in my muscles, and each time she bites my pussy pulses around her invading fingers.

She continues like that, letting up on the biting as her finger start to thrust faster and faster into my cunt. She stops thrusting for a moment and then resumes, having shifted the position of her fingers in the process. Now her thumb is gliding along externally, running along my slit and bumping over my clit. Inside of me, she’s doing something new with her fingers, because all of a sudden it feel amazing. My breathing gets heavy, my back tenses and I start to yelp. She pulls at my hair as she pounds at my cunt with her hand and then I just go off, falling against the wall as my knees buckle lightly. My thighs squeeze together around her hand, which is now clamped in me and wiggling ever so slightly. She takes her hand from my hair and gathers me up, pulling me back to her, pressing her body up against my back. When my quivering subsides, she releases her hand from between my thighs, and while still embracing me brings them up to my mouth.

“Suck.” She says – whispering a command I can’t help but obey. I take her fingers into my mouth and suck my cunt off of them, sloppily and unrestrained. She laughs and tells me that I must like the taste of pussy. I suck greedily as she uses her fingers to fuck my mouth the way she has just fucked my cunt.

“I want you to suck on me now.” She says, quite plainly. It’s a question, I know, but I like the fact that it sounds like a command. She turns her back to the wall and leans back, spreading her legs. The water from the shower head flows down her body.

“Kneel between my legs – over the drain – and suck me.”

Which I do, obediently. It’s hard to find a comfortable position at first, but I eventually find one and settle in, letting my tongue gently pry apart her smooth wet lips. I bring my lips in and use them to pull at her labia, enjoying the way they snap back every time. I lick down her slit, and bury my tongue into her cunt, enjoying the taste of her juices. As I lick her, she quivers and wiggles. Sometimes her body arches so that the water drains down off her side. Other times, it floods down into my mouth, mingling with her juices and making me struggle to hold my breath.

“Suck.” She exclaims, pulling my face to her clit and arching her body so that the water cascades onto me. I sputtered and looked up at her. “Suck.”

So I suck. I form a seal around her clit with my lips and suck. Gently at first, slurping the stream of water up off of her as I do. She moans deeply in response, and brings her hands to my head, grabbing my hair hard and pulling my face firmly to her sex. Her legs shudder and quiver as her orgasm washes over her and into my mouth with that stream of water.

I keep my mouth on her till she stops shaking, and then she helps me stand, pulling me in for a tender kiss as she does. “Thanks!” She says brightly, turning off the shower and collecting her towel as she winks at me. I follow a moment later, throwing on my clothes hastily. I sum up all of my courage and approach her before I go.

“So…that was fun. I hope we can do it again sometime…”

Red is a sex blogger that’s been at it since early 2004. Her work can be found at http://www.redsneakerdiaries.com, where she writes flash fiction about kink and all things sexy, reviews sex products, answers questions, and attempts to uncover the science behind sex. Her work has been featured on Playboy Radio and numerous sex blog and/or information websites. Red can be reached at redsneakerdiary@hotmail.com.

June Brides in California Have Special Reason to Celebrate – Or Do They?

The wedding season now seems to last year-round (much to the chagrin of the unhappily un-wed!) but the archetype of the “June bride” persists. This June was extra special for hundreds of gay and lesbian couples in California, when more than 1,500 partners wed on June 17 after the California Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage.

California is only the second state (Massachusetts was first) to legalize same-sex marriage. But the battle continues, with 48 states to go. Additionally, an initiative on California’s November ballot could supersede the law by amending the state’s Constitution so it recognizes only marriages between opposite sex partners as valid.

Arguments against same-sex marriages are impassioned on both sides. Marriage is one way to pledge your undying love to your spouse, and also show the world that you are a team: united in love, committed partners.

Engaged couples often hear people say, “Everything changes when you get married.” In my experience, and from what I’ve heard from friends, this isn’t true—and yet, it is!

Marriage will not fix problems in a relationship, and it can make existing problems seem even larger. The toad doesn’t turn into Prince Charming. Many couples who have lived together prior to marriage, however, do notice a subtle shift in their lives and their ways of thinking.

I don’t want to say that co-habitating couples aren’t committed to each other. I was committed to my now-husband for five excellent years before we decided to tie the knot. But it is different. Only those who’ve been there can understand.

Why shouldn’t same sex couples be allowed to experience this same “wedded bliss” (for lack of a better term?) There are religious arguments, and I don’t want to minimize their impact, although I may point to the constitutional amendment that separates church (religious beliefs) from state.

Marriage is a function of the government and state; that’s why marriages can be performed by a judge at city hall. Couples aren’t required to marry in a church—that’s a choice—but couples must have a government-issued marriage license.

Unfortunately, there’s more to it than religious beliefs. And marriage is about a lot more than the mushy stuff I mentioned earlier. It comes down to, as a mentor of mine once said, “following the money trail.”

Marriage is about love, passion and commitment. Sadly, (and unromantically), it’s also about health care, social security benefits and tax breaks.

In spite of dozens of reports claiming “there is no social security crisis,” Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson recently admitted in a CNNmoney.com article that Social Security is “financially unsustainable.”

What happens when you take a system already on the brink of bankruptcy and add thousands more people, now eligible for spousal benefits, into the mix?

I am not implying that same-sex marriages occur purely for the financial benefits. I know straight couples who got married because it was a sound financial decision when one partner was without health care. I know many more couples, gay and straight, who have married for more conventional reasons—love, commitment, raising children.

Call me naïve, idealistic, or a hopeless romantic, but I think it’s a shame that the beauty and sanctity of marriage has to be sullied by financial concerns, and that same-sex couples should be denied a beautiful way to demonstrate their undying love and commitment. Take that to the bank.

I Remember The Day I Met Tammy – Part 2

My pulse slams heavy in my head – never has a choice seemed so obvious yet so *scary*. I watch her turn on the water and rinse her hair, and when she finishes I take a deep breath and walk across the room towards her stall.

Her face lights up as she sees me coming. She turns her body to face me, and as soon as I get close her hands catch my arms and she pulls me to her. She brings her mouth to my ear and speaks softly.

“Do you really think I haven’t noticed how you look at me?” She’s got her body all folded into mine, somehow, with her leg pressed firmly between mine.

“You’re hungry for me. I can see it all over you.” I moan – her tone is stern and scolding, but with a playful edge. Her breath is heavy on my ear and now her lips are grazing along the nape of my neck, kissing tenderly.

“What do you have to say for yourself?” She whispers, making me jump as I am startled out of the blissful state in which I had been floating. I move my lips, but nothing really comes out – perhaps a squeak or a small sigh. She stops her kisses and slowly, deliberately sinks her teeth into that spot where my neck curves to meet my shoulder. I groan, long and low.

“You’re not talking, but your body is. It’s telling me you like what I’m doing.” Her leg is pressing up into me now, applying pressure on my sex, lifting me up slightly on my tip toes. I am off balance just enough to sway slightly, grinding onto her leg as I do. Her lips kiss up my neck and then meet mine. On my lips, she is hard and forceful, and I feel like I am melting in her wake; like my own lips are made of wax, softening and accommodating her strong, warm and passionate kiss. I’m locked in-between the force of her thigh pressing me upwards and the force of her lips pressing down on me…

She breaks our lip embrace suddenly, and releases the tension in her leg. I am dropped from her trap and I immediately miss it. I lean in to try and find her lips again with mine, but she’s on my neck again, nibbling and biting the nape, following my moans of ecstasy as they guided her towards the back of my neck. She turns me around with her hands, and instructs me to lean against the wall for support.

I place my hands on the shower wall and look up into the spray that is cascading down upon us. I feel Tammy at my back, caressing up and down my back with her soft hands. I try – once, twice – to turn around and touch her, but she keeps pushing me back into this position – facing the shower. Finally, she comes in close, wrapping my body with hers and returns to the kisses on my neck. This time, however, she’s discovered that bites at the base of my neck/top of my back make me quiver, so she’s sinking her teeth into me as well – oh so gently, but with ever increasing force. I moan appreciatively and mumble that I love it, and she bites harder.

Her hands start to roam again – one ends up tangled in my hair, the other trails down my back and towards my inner thigh. She bites again as she pulls at my hair, drawing a moan from me as my face is pulled into the shower stream. I feel the spattering of the lukewarm water hitting my cheeks and eyelids as her other hand finally find its way into the folds between my legs, slicing in deeper and deeper till she’s buried into my sex, making me drip as her fingers dance inside of me…

Red is a sex blogger that’s been at it since early 2004. Her work can be found at http://www.redsneakerdiaries.com, where she writes flash fiction about kink and all things sexy, reviews sex products, answers questions, and attempts to uncover the science behind sex. Her work has been featured on Playboy Radio and numerous sex blog and/or information websites. Red can be reached at redsneakerdiary@hotmail.com.

I Remember The Day I Met Tammy – Part 1

It was a lonely morning in the pool. Most mornings were these days – the summer was wrapping up and people were spending more time outdoors, less time indoors. That suited me fine; I liked to swim without distractions. So did Tammy. It had been her and I doing the morning swim for weeks, with rare random others. We’d never spoke and I never saw her in the change room, but I always saw her in the pool.

Today when I finished my swim, she was still going. I went to the locker room and grabbed my shampoo and headed for the shower. This pool has just a one room shower facility (women only of course!), but with a few semi-private stalls. I pulled off my suit, hung it over the bar by my shower head and turned on the stream to a lukewarm temperature. As I worked some shampoo though my hair, I closed my eyes and sigh. The water feels great; I imagine it rinsing the pool off of me as I rinse my hair clean.

I open my eyes and looked out from under the stream of water. I am not alone in this pool shower room anymore – Tammy is standing across from me. She’s naked, her blue bathing suit draped over the railing beside her shower’s spot. The water streams down her body; she melts into it as it runs in rivulets across her curves. Her skin shimmers bronze in the steam of the shower, and she sparkles as she releases the tight binding holding back her chestnut hair. Her nipples look like marshmallows.

Realizing I’m staring, I sheepishly smile at her, and she smiles back. She doesn’t seem phased so I just assume she didn’t see me ogling – perhaps I’d been subtle in my absentminded way, or perhaps she hadn’t been paying attention. I force my attention back onto the ritual of cleaning post swim – it’s so not appropriate to start leering at fellow shower mates, no matter how hot they are…

I open my eyes and she’s looking at me. She smiles as I meet her eyes and she takes the opportunity to call for my attention

“Can I bother you for some shampoo?”

I catch my voice in my throat – I croak out a “Sure, no problem” as I hold the green squeeze bottle out towards her. She floats towards me – like and angel gliding through the mist. Her hand snakes out and reaches for the bottle – he fingers collide with mine. Electricity sparks through the air – we both feel it, there’s no denying that. Yet I pretend I don’t know that she felt what I felt, and she pretends something similar. Our eyes meet but I break the eye contact very quickly. I sigh and lean back as she pops the shampoo bottle top and squeezes some into her hand. She smiles again and leans into me, presumably to place the bottle on a small shelf just off to my side. As her body comes close to mine, everything seems to slow down. I’m standing so still, afraid that if I move or if I even breathe, I might break the spell. She’s so close to me, I just want to press my body onto hers, to let our curves fit together in a soapy mess…

And then she pulls back, raising her hand to run the shampoo into her hair. She smiles as she walks – not back to her shower, but to one of the semi private stalls.

This is a big moment for me, I am paralyzed with indecision. Sure the stall is pretty private, and well shielded from the entry to the room, but it’s still a public shower room!

She turns to look at me, her eyes asking the obvious – care to take this further?

Red is a sex blogger that’s been at it since early 2004. Her work can be found at http://www.redsneakerdiaries.com, where she writes flash fiction about kink and all things sexy, reviews sex products, answers questions, and attempts to uncover the science behind sex. Her work has been featured on Playboy Radio and numerous sex blog and/or information websites. Red can be reached at redsneakerdiary@hotmail.com.