How to Get Turned on to Ben Wa Balls

With all the horror stories on the Internet about women who get ben-wa balls stuck you know where, the ancient Eastern sex toy may seem a little intimidating.

Sit back, relax… or perhaps lie down, and let me tell you about my first experience with Ben Wa Balls.

Cool textures, smooth feel
I admit after reading the horror stories, I was a bit tentative. The idea of the ben wa balls also didn’t seem very comfortable at first. First, I added some lubricant to the balls, because, honestly, I didn’t see these going in easily without any. I began masturbating with the balls, enjoying the ridged texture and the cool smoothness of the plastic. The weighted balls had a nice — very nice — feel and I soon enjoyed banging them against myself.

I’d often watched porn where a woman enjoys having someone smack her clit — or doing it herself. The balls provided that pulsing sensation without the sting.

It wasn’t long before I was wet enough to insert them easily. And they didn’t need as much lube as I thought. (But I still hold to the adage that you can never, ever have enough lube.)

Once the ben wa balls were inside, I have to admit, they didn’t provide as much pleasure as I thought they would, immediately. Ben wa balls are not a passive sex toy, where you lie there and let them do the work. In fact, they take a bit of creativity — and knowing your body — to really get the most pleasure from them.

I started to go through my usual masturbation repertoire, while also moving the balls around by the string every so often. It was fun but I knew I was missing something.

Contrary to the balls getting stuck, they kept slipping out. Each time, I pushed them deeper, and that’s when the pleasure potential started to hit me. With the balls filling me completely, I began to imagine a lover’s cock inside me along with them. Yes… these balls had an appeal.

Believe What You Read…
I ramped up the hand motion and, as I started to come, I realized the entire purpose — or at least, one of the purposes — of ben wa balls. The ridges caressed the inside walls of my vagina as my body pulsated. The weights inside them seemed to give the balls a life of their own. I detected mild vibrations — not as strong as my favorite vibe, more like a gentle tickling sensation.

By this time, I’d become adept at moving the balls by moving my legs, and was able to manipulate them to keep the orgasm going for minutes of undulating pleasure. Each spasm created another spasm, waves of ecstasy, just as the advertisements promise.

Ben wa balls have several uses and I look forward to experimenting with them all. You can use ben wa balls:

• during masturbation
• during intercourse
• in your vagina during anal sex, to give you a full feeling at every angle
• for kegel exercises
• throughout the day — as you learn to manipulate the balls with subtle movements, you can bring yourself to orgasm anytime, anywhere.

It’s true that these toys require a little bit of knowledge about your body — and some degree of pelvic muscle control — to really enjoy them to their full potential. But once you unlock the secrets of these ancient toys, you’ll become a true afficianado. You may even begin to collect multiple sets of balls in different sizes, styles and materials.

Our Top Picks for Ben Wa Balls
Whether you’re buying your first set or adding to your collection, here are some of our favorite ben wa balls:

Doc Johnson’s Gold Ben Wa Balls – cool, classy, sexy and pthalate-free

Smartballs – my favorite for their texture unique texture and sturdy string for removal

Leopard Duotone Balls – wild and sexy

What’s been your experience with Ben Wa balls? Did they require practice, and did you like them?

Five Ways to Get Your Body Ready for Sex this Summer

Diet and nutrition programs seem to be everywhere lately. I know of at least three “Biggest Loser” style contests on the Web right now, and those are just ones I’ve heard about from friends without doing a Google search.

Summer’s here, and that means less clothes. Whether or not you’re donning a swimsuit this summer, you still want to look good in shorts, capris, or even just short sleeves.

But there’s even more incentive to slim down or tone up — to get your body sex-ready. The good news? You don’t need to go on a starvation diet to do it.

Little changes make a big difference when it comes to sex and weight loss. And feeling sexy really is just a state of mind.

Here are a few suggestions to get (or stay) slim and sexy this summer.

Lose (just a few) pounds. The docs at WebMD say that the more body fat you have, the more SHBG (se hormone binding globulin) you have. This natural chemical binds to testosterone, which could lead to decreased sex in both men and women. Losing as few as ten pounds can raise testosterone levels and stimulate desire.

Eat healthier. Good news. The foods that help you lose weight also stimulate your sex drive naturally. I’m not talking about aphrodisiacs like oysters and strawberries — well, okay, the strawberries can help, especially if they’re covered in dark chocolate. But a diet rich in fruits and vegetables helps regulate blood sugar and control your cholesterol. And healthy really is sexy. Add natural, slow-burning carbs like whole grains and high-protein, low fat foods and you’ll also have more energy for sex.

Get moving. Whether it’s a morning walk on the beach, an afternoon bike ride, or your favorite extreme sport, summer provides lots of opportunities for exercise. Just 20 minutes of exercise a day, 3 times a week, has libido-boosting effects, say those in the know at WebMD.

Envision yourself thin. As you envision yourself with the perfect body — and act as if you have it — you’ll find yourself doing those things naturally to give you that body. And as you act sexy, you’ll attract more sex into your life. Does this sound like the old “chicken and the egg” argument? (As in, which came first?) Thoughts come before action, so as you begin living a life filled with sexy thoughts, soon you’ll be living a life filled with sex — whatever your size. Even if you don’t feel confident, act that way. Hold your head high.

Embrace yourself as you are. I’m not talking about masturbation — although that’s a great way to get your engine primed for a close encounter. I mean that, as you “think yourself thin” every day, you are also accepting your body completely for what it is right now. Accepting your body and your sexuality — whether you are a size 2 or size 20 — makes you feel more desirable and that is how to really get heads turning as you walk by on the beach.

Sex in a Heat Wave

Newsflash: It’s hot. Really, really hot. The upside to this, of course, is that you get to see girls clad in very short-shorts and tight tank tops or, if you live in the right area, those sexy little beach cover-ups.

There’s another benefit: Studies say that the warm weather, the sun beating down on our half-naked bodies, and all those lazy days by the pool lead to increased libido. That’s because sunlight leads to an increase in production of Melanocyte Stimulating Hormone, which has been shown to increase a woman’s sex drive.

The irony, here, of course, is that while sunny and warm weather increases our sex drive, when it gets this hot – 95 degrees before noon with approximately six zillion percent humidity – everybody’s already so hot and sticky it can be tough to get in the mood for activities that make you more sticky and sweaty.

How about these warm-weather tips to stay cool and sexy, while taking advantage of that libido-boosting sunshine?

Water, water everywhere. This is the kind of weather that makes you want to strip down naked and jump in the pool. Go for it! Convince your partner to do the same and enjoy your own private pool party. Use lots of silicone-based lubricant because water (ironically) washes away both natural lubrication and water-based lubricants.

Also remember that chlorine can potentially cause a condom to weaken and break. Don’t let all this put a damper on your fun, just be safe and stick with a monogamous partner for this one!

Ice is nice… Mmm… who needs air conditioning when you can rub ice cubes up and down your partner’s naked body? It’s cooling and stimulating and oh-so-sexy. Or use fresh frozen fruit (like strawberries) and then chow down. Many tantric sex practices incorporate fruit as foreplay, for its nutritive values and sensual scent and taste.

Icy cool oral sex. Give your partner a sexy blast of cool air by chewing peppermint breath mints or even fresh mint before a blow job. Gulping a cold beverage (make it a Mojito for the minty blast!) and then going down on him creates “just-cold-enough” sensations, too, for a unique pleasure experience. Even better, use the Good Head One Shots for the same cool sensation in a variety of delicious flavors. Yum!

Chill out. A cold shower may sound counter-intuitive for revving up your sex drive, but it could be just what you need to get cool and comfortable enough for a cuddle – and more! Don’t waste time drying off much… just grab each other and go for it!

Stay out of bed. The last thing we want is lie on a cushy mattress, surrounded by pillows, when it’s warm. How about sex on the coffee table, floors…? Any place flat will do. Or wait until after hours when temps drop and hit your backyard lawn?

Sunburned? Use aloe gel. Nothing puts a damper on nookie like sunburn. Turn treatment into foreplay by asking your lover to gently – very gently! – rub chilled aloe vera gel on your sore spots and see where all the gentle rubbing leads. (Just keep the gel away from your privates; there’s a reason the bottle reads: “for external use only.”

When the sun is hot, you should be, too. Use these creative tips – or come up with your own ideas to combine cold water play with hot sex.

Does the G-Spot Really Exist?

Since the g-spot was discovered in 1950 by German gynecologist Dr. Ernst Grafenberg it’s been the subject of studies, supposition, sex tips and dispute. In 1982, Beverly Whipple wrote the international bestseller The G Spot and Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality, giving the g-spot its name and newfound fame.

For years, Grafenberg and Whipple were taken at their word. Yes, women have a g-spot. It is a pleasure center and the source of vaginal (as opposed to clitoral) orgasms. But then researchers began poking around. Does the g-spot really exist?

The Finding of the G-Spot
Two years ago, The Journal of Sexual Medicine published the results of a study by an Italian research team that seemed to reveal  evidence of the g-spot’s existence. The researchers studied 20 women by means of a questionnaire and an ultrasound, and spotted a physiological difference between women who achieve vaginal orgasms and those who do not.

A media frenzy ensued. Magazine headlines read “How to find the g-spot!” Sales of specially-shaped g-spot vibrators spiked.

Women (and their partners) embarked on a quest more challenging than that of the Holy Grail. (Those who’ve read Dan Brown’s DaVinci Code know what an apt analogy that really is.) And women who, after much experimentation, still could not find their g-spot were left feeling somewhat inadequate. If only they had known…

What is the g-spot?
The g-spot is believed to be a quarter-sized (some say nickel-sized) spot of tissue about 1/3 of the way up the vaginal wall on the anterior side (toward the belly). Stimulation of this spot in some women leads to intense orgasms and, sometimes, female ejaculation.

Researchers at the University of L’Aquila found through ultrasound that women who experience vaginal orgasm are statistically more likely to have thicker tissue in this area of the vagina, lending credence to the existence of an actual, physical g-spot.

The Latest Findings
Not so, say the latest findings, also published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.
Granted, the 2008 research was on flimsy ground. The  research group was too small.  The research methods were faulty.  The evidence was inconclusive.

The new study, which surveyed 902 sets of twins, discovered the g-spot actually does not exist…

Um. Come again?

Since identical twins are genetically identical, if one claimed to have a g-spot, the other would be likely to, as well. This was not the case. The survey findings, according to the researchers, suggest there is no genetic basis for the existence of the g-spot.

However, in the same study, 56 % of the women said they do, in fact, have a g-spot.  The researchers say environmental and psychological factors may contribute to certain women having intense orgasms when this area is stimulated.

Does it matter?
After the 2008 study was released, some women may have felt inadequate if they (or their lover) could not find their g-spot. This latest study may assuage those concerns. You can’t find it because it doesn’t exist.

But what about those of us who know, in fact, that Good Things happen when something (a finger, a vibrator…) stimulates that spot about 1 to 3 inches up in the vagina? Are we the crazy ones now?

It’s quite possible, as Greg Laden points out in his science blog, that the g-spot exists but has no basis in genetics. It could also mean that every woman does, in fact, have a g-spot but the 44 % of women who said they didn’t have one simply haven’t been able to find theirs.

While the most recent study uses a larger sampling than the 2008 study, the research methods still aren’t the most reliable. Sex educator Dr. Petra Boynton, in her blog “Where Have All the G-Spots Gone,” does  a wonderful job tearing apart the study, so I’ll let her have at it.

Meanwhile, my thoughts…

Don’t stop looking
Perhaps all women have this spot (sometimes thought to be urethral sponge) but not all women have the same response when it is stimulated. After all, every woman varies in what she likes. Some women don’t like direct clitoral stimulation. Other women can orgasm simply from having their nipples played with.

Even the same woman, on a different day, may enjoy different sexual pleasures. And the same thing that turned her on one night may be downright painful the next. (Sorry, guys… that’s what makes us so intriguing!)

If you’re in that percentage of women who has not yet found your g-spot, I encourage you to continue the hunt, regardless of what this week’s scientific study says.

Just don’t pursue your search at the expense of other sexual pleasures. After all, the more you explore your body, alone or with a lover, the more ways you will discover to orgasm.

And for those women who know beyond a doubt their g-spot exists, might I suggest buying it a special toy?

Sex and the Health Care Reform Bill

There’s one thing members of both major political parties agree on: The U.S. needs some type of health care reform. From there, though, opinions diverge wildly.

The 2,032-page bill introduced by House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) outlines a national healthcare plan with some very good points. For instance, the bill:

• prevents insurers from denying coverage to people with pre-existing conditions
• caps personal financial liability when someone faces a medical emergency
• prevents insurers from dropping people who become ill

Two of the key sticking points in the plan passed in November by the House of Representatives and now facing the Senate are – not surprisingly — sex education and abortion funding. The old adage rings true: in the end, it always comes around to sex.

Sex education, not abstinence teaching, supported
One provision of the bill, titled the “Healthy Teen Initiative to Prevent Teen Pregnancy,” supports taxpayer funding of sex education proven, through evidence-based research, to:

• delay sexual activity in teens;
• decrease the number of sexual partners;
• reduce teen pregnancy;
• reduce sexually transmitted infection rates; or
• improve rates of contraceptive use.

Abstinence-based programs, all the rage in many schools recently, will not be supported by tax dollars. According to some sources, the provision considers the abortion drug RU-486 as “contraception,” along with Plan B (the morning-after pill), IUDs, birth control pills and condoms.

Taxpayer-funded abortions nixed
While the conservative community may have lost the battle over sex education, an amendment to the bill barring federal funding for abortions, however, can be viewed as a conservative victory. In fact, it’s much more than that — it’s politicians listening to the majority of their constituents based on poll results.

A CNN poll showed that 61% of Americans (across all political parties) oppose using public funds to cover abortion. Thirty-seven percent are in favor of taxpayer-funded abortion. Slightly more than half believe all abortions should be paid for out of pocket, rather than through any insurance at all.

It’s interesting to note, however, that of respondents to a Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life survey, only 3 % cited abortion funding as a reason to oppose health care reform. Yet our legislators have turned this into a hot-button, make-or-break issue.

What do opponents really dislike about the bloated health care reform bill? The two highest-ranking responses, tied at 27 % each, were: “it’s too expensive” and “don’t want government involved in health care.”

When you consider the post office, Department of Motor Vehicles, Social Security and other government-regulated programs, it’s amazing the numbers for the latter response weren’t higher.

I firmly believe Americans need to take more responsibility for their health as a whole, in the form of healthy eating, frequent exercise, and common sense wellness care. But if I do get sick, I don’t want the government in charge of the tools that can assist me in healing. This firmly overrides any other issue relating to the health care reform bill, all of which seem to make sizzling headlines.

Health care reform good for LGBT Community
Too much government involvement aside, there are a few bright points to the legislation. One provision eliminates the hefty tax penalties non-married partners — a large percentage of which are gay or lesbian — face when they put their partner on their health insurance plan. As someone who lived with my (opposite sex) partner nearly seven years before we got married, this makes all sorts of sense to me. Marriage, again, should be a personal choice based on love, not economics.

Additionally, the bill prohibits discrimination in health care based on “personal characteristics extraneous to the provision of high quality health care or related services.” This includes gender and sexual orientation.

Certain parts of health care reform are on the right track. But the question remains: Will the bill pass before 2009 ends?

Would You Give Your Teen Daughter a Vibrator?

Sex expert Dr. Laura Berman recommends women buy vibrators for their teenage daughters.

“You’re teaching them about their own bodies and pleasuring themselves,” Dr. Berman said on a segment of Oprah this past spring. “They don’t need [a] boy – they don’t need another person — until they’re ready.”

She went on to say that using a vibrator may even make teenage girls safer, sexually-speaking, because it may encourage them to put off their sexual experience even longer.

Oprah’s best friend, Gayle King, shook her throughout the segment, arguing that it is “just too much information.” Kids are growing up fast enough, these days, she argued. Parents don’t need to add battery-operated fuel to the raging teenage hormonal fire.

The thought crossed my mind that, upon discovering how good sexual pleasure can feel with a vibrator, teenage girls may actually be more eager to find out about the real thing. (Only to be sorely disappointed by a first experience with an inexperienced boy their own age, of course… sending them running back to their vibrator… maybe Dr. Berman has the right idea?)

Dr. Berman says it’s about empowerment – teaching teens not only the basics of sex as well as how to be safe, but educating them about orgasm. Which we all know is an important part of sex. But I’m still not sure about vibrator-shopping with a teenage daughter.

Talking to Teens About Sex
I remember learning about masturbation from Judy Blume books. A few years later, I started learning about sex from Danielle Steele. We did not talk about sex in my house – at all. While my mom knew exactly what I was reading (after all, she read Danielle Steele and Nora Roberts, too) we never discussed it.

I know this is an extreme situation – the polar opposite of what today’s experts recommend. Certainly, I agree that parents should teach their teens about sex: the basic mechanics, safe sex for protection against disease and pregnancy, and the importance of not giving into peer pressure.

It’s also important to talk about the emotional connection forged after sex, which may surprise teenage girls who don’t fully understand the difference between love and lust; sometimes, those “feel-close” hormones can even throw grown women for a loop after a casual encounter.

Girls are giving blowjobs at 13 and 14 years old. (Note to the experts: Surprise! This is NOT a new phenomenon!) So it’s wise for parents to explain that STI’s can be transmitted through oral sex and condom use is important. Parents shouldn’t just pretend it’s not happening or even that it’s an atrocity.  It happens, has been happening probably since the dawn of time, and will continue to happen.  Sex education in schools, one-on-one conversations  at home, and buying sex toys for our teens won’t change that. The best we can do is educate teens on how to be safe and protect against disease and pregnancy. Well, that or chastity belts.

A Vibe for your Teen?
While I’m very much in favor of sex education and parents talking to their kids about sex, I also agree with Gayle King that to buy a teenage girl a vibrator is, indeed, “TMI.” I think discussions with teens about sex should lean toward the practical and the clinical. Of course, if a teenager has any questions, they should be answered open and honestly, and parents should make it clear that their kids can come to them with questions.

But I can imagine only one reaction if my mother ever brought up the topic of vibrators, masturbation or the specifics of orgasm: complete mortification. I can’t imagine it would be comfortable for many teenagers – or their parents. And I don’t see many benefits to it.

With all due respect, I think Dr. Berman is not giving enough consideration to the other reasons teenagers have sex, including the same reason vibrators don’t replace real-life lovers for grown-ups. Whether you’re 14 or 40, a sex toy—while fun—can never replace the intimacy of sex with someone you love (or even like a whole lot!)

Does New HIV Vaccine Offer Hope against AIDS?

The World Health Organization (WHO) and the U.N. agency UNAIDS received a happy surprise last week.  A new vaccine proved to be somewhat successful in preventing one strain of the HIV virus in a sampling of 16,000 volunteers in Thailand classified as individuals at  average risk to contract AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome).

According to various sources, including the Scientific American website, 51 individuals in the vaccinated group contracted HIV by the end of the three-year trial, while 74 in the placebo group contracted the virus that causes AIDS.

Participants received condoms, sexual counseling and treatment for any STDs contracted during the study. They received an AIDS test every six months.
These numbers amount to a 31.2 % efficacy rate; the scientific community typically looks for vaccinations with an effectiveness of 70 % or higher.

Nonetheless, the results show a glimmer of hope where, previously there was none. The series of six injections were made up of Sanofi-Aventis SA’s ALVAC and VaxGen Inc.’s AIDSVAX, which each proved ineffective on their own. The vaccines are not made from whole virus and cannot cause HIV.

The scientists and researchers involved in the project report “cautious optimism” about the possibility of discovering an even more effective vaccine, and possibly even a vaccination that could prevent the HIV virus from turning into a full-blown AIDS infection.

This set of vaccinations had no effect on HIV levels of infected individuals – somewhat disheartening news as it shows that researchers may not know what factors contribute to HIV immunity, even after decades of research.
It’s also important to stress that this combination of vaccines only proved marginally effective (30 percent) in this particular strain of HIV prevalent in Thailand.

More Research Needed

In the past, I’ve spoken out quite passionately against vaccines, most notably the HPV vaccine. I don’t want to rain on the “cautiously optimistic” parade this news has evoked, but my fears about acting too hastily with any immunizations remain.

Obviously, more research is necessary in regard to the HIV vaccination and it’s nowhere near ready for FDA-approval to bring it into the U.S. market.  We haven’t heard any reports of the side effects reported with the new vaccination, either, so I’m sure that requires additional research.

However, for the scientific community to go from point zero: “We’re never going to find a vaccine against AIDS, it may not exist,” to such promising test results truly is cause for celebration.

We’re living in an exciting time when researchers may have found vaccines against certain strains of both cancer and AIDS. This is news that, growing up in the 80s, I’d never imagined.

Encouraging Promiscuity?

As with the HPV vaccine, some fear the promise of an HIV vaccine may encourage lackadaisical sexual behavior, increasing the prevalence of HIV and AIDS. Let’s hope that, if the day comes when an HIV vaccine receives FDA approval, it will be close to 100 percent effective. Who knows? With enough people receiving immunization and the herd immunity that develops over time with immunizations, it may be within our lifetimes that we see AIDS eradicated.

Even if this happens, condoms still prevent against a large number of other sexually transmitted diseases and infections. Safe sex and the use of condoms will continue to be important consideration for the prevention of a number of diseases – not to mention an easy, inexpensive and hormone-free way to prevent unwanted pregnancies.

And, it’s important to remember that we may still be years, if not decades, away from a truly effective AIDS vaccine. In the meantime, education and safe sex remain paramount.

Farrah’s Death Raises Anal Cancer Awareness

It’s often hard to make sense of death, especially when the death follows a long battle with a rare illness. Although cancer in so many forms has permeated our society, anal cancer remains quite rare. According to the American Cancer Society, slightly over 5,000 cases are diagnosed each year, with 700 people dying from the disease. On June 25, 2009, 70s icon and former Charlie’s Angel star Farrah Fawcett was one of its victims.

Because of the body part it afflicts, and also because of the stigma attached to it, anal cancer is rarely publicized and often diagnosed too late. In Farrah Fawcett’s case, it was diagnosed and treated in 2006, but then returned this April and spread. On June 25, 2009, the beauty icon passed away from the cancer, which it is reported had spread to her liver.

“Farrah’s Story”
Although the disease, as cancer goes, is quite rare, it is also frequently ignored. Let’s face it: exams used to detect this type of cancer are uncomfortable, at best. The same goes for discussing the topic.

Farrah Fawcett’s documentary, “Farrah’s Story,” which aired on NBC in late May, shed light on the disease and on Farrah’s struggle. During the latter part of her life, Farrah brought several facts about anal cancer into the public eye.

1. If diagnosed early, patients have an 80 to 90 % remission rate.
2. If the cancer is localized and detected in its first stage, the 5-year survival is approximately 82%.
3. According to the American Cancer Society, up to 85 % of all anal cancers are caused by the HPV (human papillomavirus) infection, but it is not a sexually transmitted disease per se.
4. Since up to 25 % of all women have, at some point, contracted the HPV virus, while sexual promiscuity increases the risk of anal cancer, it is not the only risk factor.

Risk Factors
In addition to the HPV virus, risk factors for anal cancer include:

-         being over the age of 50
-         a weakened immune system
-         smoking
-         family history

It’s important to stress that anal cancer is not necessarily an indicator of sexual promiscuity – having many sexual partners is just one of many risk factors. Because small tears in the anus can lead to easier transmission of the HPV virus, practicing safe anal sex can decrease the odds of contracting the disease. The use of condoms can protect against HPV transmission, but may not entirely prevent it.

Symptoms of Anal Cancer
Symptoms of anal cancer include anal bleeding, itching and soreness. Other symptoms include changes in bowel habits, pain or pressure in that area, and unusual discharge from the area. Again, because of the high remission rate when the cancer is detected early, see a doctor if you exhibit any of these symptoms.

What about the HPV Vaccine?
Two vaccines—GlaxoSmithKline’s Cervarix and Merck’s Gardasil—have been shown to protect against some cancer-causing strains of HPV. However, neither vaccine has been approved for use to specifically prevent anal cancer. You can read more about the vaccine in this post, HPV Vaccine: Cancer Prevention or Corporate Profits?

As with any other form of cancer, knowledge of risk factors and symptoms, along with early detection and treatment, are the keys to better health.

Viral Vid Scares Teens into Safe Sex?

A viral video out of the UK that shows teens rushing toward a screaming melee on a high school sports field turns out not to be what you may think. The group of teens has gathered in a circle not to view a game injury or even watch a fight, but to see a pregnant teen giving birth.

The video crosses the line into Really Explicit when we see a tiny head pop out from between the screaming girl’s legs. The video, shot with an iPhone camera, promotes a docu-drama series, launching June 1, on the Web site HeyBabe.co.uk. HeyBabe (Be Aware Be Educated) is a site run by NHS (National Health Services) Leicester to provide support and information to sexually active teens in Leicester, England.

The video closes with the words: “Not what you expected? Being a teenage parent might not be either.”

YouTube banned the video a mere 24 hours after NHS Leicester posted it, saying it was a violation of their terms of service, which prohibits the show of gratuitous violence.

Oddly, Youtube then allowed the same video, branded with information about the docu-drama series it promotes tacked onto the end, to remain on their site. The video also still airs at HeyBabe.com.

Representatives from NHS Leicester Trust said they filmed the video because previous marketing tactics of pamphlets and posters weren’t getting the attention of teens and teen pregnancy is running rampant in Leicester, with one out of every 20 girls, ages 15 to 17, pregnant.

So what’s the problem with the viral video?

I have a number of problems with the video. If you’re going to shock teens into paying attention – and I’m all for that – don’t do it with misinformation and melodrama. Viewing the bloody scene may scare teens out of the thought of giving birth; in fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if it terrifies nearly any woman of childbearing age who may happen upon the video. I’m definitely glad it came out after I gave birth! Considering the video’s been viewed more than 72,000 times (and counting), and has attracted the attention and ire of the mom blogger community, I wonder how many women have already made panicked calls to their moms, friends, sisters or ob/gyns?

But childbirth doesn’t have to be like that at all – not for a young teen or for anyone. Rather than scaring a teen out of having sex, it’s more likely to scare a teenage mother-to-be straight into a scheduled c-section. And that’s not really a desirable option – not for the pocketbook of the health care system, the mother’s well-being, or the infant, for that matter.

Teenagers are impulsive, “instant gratification” types and while the video may temporarily scare them out of ever wanting to have children, I don’t think it will scare them out of having sex. It might not even scare them enough that they will remember to use protection.

However, it’s important to remember the video is only one part of a larger campaign. And NHS Leicester admitted the video was designed to get teens’ attention. In that regard, it has succeeded.

It will be interesting to follow the rest of the marketing campaign and view the docu-drama when it launches. It will be even more interesting to compare teen pregnancy rates after the docu-drama has made the rounds.

I commend NHS Leicester for trying to tackle a very difficult problem. As a natural childbirth advocate, I just wish they had been a bit more responsible in doing so.

Practice Safe Sex

No, this isn’t a post about condoms. Who knew sex toys in the hands (and other anatomy parts) of certain people could be so dangerous?

TheBayNet.com, a local news Web site covering Calvert, St. Mary’s and Charles County, Maryland, reported that a Maryland woman was airlifted to Prince George’s Hospital after an accident involving a vibrator attached to a reciprocating saw blade. According to the report, the blade (quite predictably) sawed through the plastic toy and severely wounded the woman.

The act, however poorly thought-out, was entirely consensual and no charges were pressed.

My question: If the woman was damaged beyond the ability to procreate any longer, can she be nominated as the only living recipient of a Darwin Award?

But what else do you need to know about sex toy safety? (Aside from the obvious: blades sharp enough to cut through wood and metal should not be used in sex play!)

- Make sure a toy is waterproof before you put it in the water. Hint: if it’s got wires and an A/C adapter, it’s not waterproof! Battery-operated toys will specify on the packaging whether or not they are manufactured for water play.

- Butt plugs have wide bases for a reason. Do not insert them past that base, or you risk a rather embarrassing trip to the ER. And it’s happened. According to this article, in fact, it happens quite often.

- Do not place anything other than a sex toy designed for that purpose into any orifice. That means gerbils, food items (which can cause infections), or anything that could, well, get stuck up there. If you feel an urge to insert anything other than a sex toy, there are vibrators available shaped like cell phones, lipstick tubes, even a rubber ducky (and yes, it’s waterproof!)

- Clean all sex toys well before and after each use. As a general rule, most toys can be cleaned with a wet or damp cloth and mild soap or with an anti-bacterial toy cleaner. Only submerge toys which are waterproof. Read more about how to care for your sex toys here.

- Never use a toy in your vagina that’s been used in your (or someone else’s) ass before cleaning. You risk a nasty urinary tract infection due to bacteria.

- Be aware of the potential hazards of phthalate-based sex toys (often called jelly rubber.) While this flexible, silky material feels great the use pthalates in women of child-bearing age has been linked to birth defects. Additionally, the material, which is porous, can harbor bacteria and other germs. You may want to cover your phthalate-based sex toy with a condom. Carefully inspect all sex toys—but especially phthalate-based toys—for signs of wear or discoloration before use.

- Glass sex toys can crack or splinter. Inspect all glass toys before use. If you drop a glass toy on a hard surface, it is no longer safe to use, as it could crack unexpectedly from the stress of being dropped.

- Candles can be beautiful to create a romantic setting, and if you’re into BDSM, you can do all sorts of fun things with the wax, too. But accidents can happen, so keep a fire extinguisher close by if you are burning candles, and never leave a burning candle unattended. Make sure to extinguish before you fall asleep, as well.

Some of these pointers may seem obvious, but, in the heat of the moment, (or when alcohol is involved in sex play) everyone can use a reminder every once in a while. Be safe and have fun!

Research Discovers Love Can Last Forever

With a 50 percent divorce rate in the U.S. and people always talking about how the spark of love fades, becomes boring, and passion dies after time, new research has uncovered some optimistic findings for long-term couples.

Through brain scans, a team of researchers at Stony Brook University in Long Island, New York, found that some couples experience the same chemical reactions when viewing photos of their loved ones after 15 or 20 years as those involved in a new love. This shows that “old love” can be as exciting as new love.

Stony Brook-based researcher, psychologist and intimacy expert Dr. Arthur Aron explains, “When we look at the pattern of brain in a person in the FMRI scanner, the brain response when you hear your own name is much more similar to what you get when you hear the name of a close other than when you hear the name of a not-quite-so-close other.”

According to an article in Britain’s Sunday Times, which reported on the findings, previous research suggested that the first stages of romantic love fade within 15 months and after 10 years it has gone completely.

The bad news? A mere 10 percent of the long-term couples studied still had that spark.

In a podcast titled “The Science of Intimacy and Love,” Aron talks about what couples can do to increase their odds of becoming part of that 10 percent of couples who still feel intimacy and passion after 10 years or more.

Aron stresses that good communication skills, high self-esteem in both partners, and a lack of depression or anxiety help maintain closeness. Aron stated in the podcast, “If you are fairly confident in your own self, if your self-esteem is not too low, if it’s fairly stable, then you can share yourself with another and not feel you’re losing who you are.”

Not surprisingly, another important tenet of keeping the spark alive after a decade involves trying new, challenging activities with your partner. Aron stated that he and his wife try to engage in an interactive activity they’ve never done, or haven’t done in a while, at least once a week.

New experiences need not be sexual or even physical. New topics of conversation, debates and sharing fantasies or dreams can have a positive effect. Think about when you first met your lover, how much time you spent simply getting to know your significant other through conversation. You can bring that excitement back by pushing past your mental, and sometimes physical, boundaries.

If you and your partner are adrenaline junkies, you may have to stretch yourselves to come up with a new activity. Base-jumping or roller coasters, anyone? For other couples, battling out on the Nintendo Wii may be the exciting challenge you need to re-connect.

And, of course, don’t underestimate the value of introducing a new toy or game in the bedroom to keep your passion alive.

Researchers Find Link Between Sex and Sneezing

Yawns are often contagious, but did you know that thinking about sex can make people sneeze? A UK-based physician at the John Radcliffe Hospital in Oxford, wrote about the unusual affliction in the Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine.

Some people sneeze when they become aroused by thinking about sex; others report sneezing after orgasm.
As silly as it sounds, it does make sense, physiologically. One in four people report having sneezing fits when they are exposed to bright sunlight, and the sex and sneezing phenomenon is similar, according to Dr. Bhutta and his colleague, retired psychiatrist Dr. Harold Maxwell.

The link, in regard to sneezing and sunlight, is caused by autonomic nervous system signals that get mixed up. If you remember eighth grade biology, the autonomic nervous system controls involuntary actions such as heart rate, blood flow and breathing. The nerves that control sneezing and pupil dilation run near each other in the brain stem, as do those that control blood pressure and breathing. Mixed signals may cause sneezing when another autonomic response would be more appropriate.

Other interesting facts about sex and the brain?

• The urban legend that the average man thinks about sex once every seven seconds is not true. According to The Kinsey Institute, an organization that researches sex, gender, and reproduction, 54% of men think about sex everyday or several times a day, 43% a few times per month or a few times per week, and 4% less than once a month.

• It is true, however, the men think about sex more than women. According to the same Kinsey Institute study, 19% of women think about sex everyday or several times a day. Sixty-seven percent report sexual thoughts a few times per month or a few times per week, while a hefty 14 percent think about it less than once a month.

• In another study, 98 percent of men reported fantasizing about someone other than their partner. Eighty percent of women surveyed have sexual fantasies about someone else. Women, however, were more likely to fantasize about a former partner. Thirty-four percent reported fantasizing about a past lover, while 22 percent of the men surveyed did the same.

• According to sex researcher Alfred Charles Kinsey in his book Sexual Behavior in the Human Female, 2% of women report being able to achieve orgasm by fantasy alone. The percentage of men who can do this is even smaller.

The somewhat depressing conclusion? Naughty thoughts, if they don’t pave the way to a physical act, are more likely to end in a sneeze than an orgasm.

When I told my partner about the connection between sex and sneezing, he quipped, “That explains your hay fever.”

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need another tissue.

New Patch Could Boost Women’s Sex Drives

A study published in the New England Journal of Medicine shows that a testosterone patch, marketed by Proctor & Gamble Pharmaceuticals under the name Intrinsa, can enhance the sex drives of postmenopausal women. The patch is placed on the abdomen like the birth control patch and changed twice a week.

Participants in the study wore a patch that released either 300 micrograms of testosterone a day, a patch that released 150 micrograms, or a placebo patch. Women wearing the 300 microgram patch reported an average increase in their “satisfying sexual experiences” of 2.1 times every four weeks. Researchers called the improvement “modest but significant.”

The study was funded by the manufacturer of the patch, following the FDA’s denial of approval for use of the patch in the U.S. in 2004. The FDA cited a lack of long-term safety data as the reason for denial, and the results of the study indicate that further research is still required.

While one of the minor side effects of the hormone therapy—unwanted hair growth—did not bother any of the test subjects enough for them to discontinue use of the patch, a potential, if tenuous, link to breast cancer is more disturbing.

During the study, four out of 814 women receiving either 150 microgram or 300 microgram doses of the hormone were diagnosed with breast cancer, compared to no women in the placebo group. In an article posted on Health.com, Lead Researcher Susan R. Davis, MD, PhD, of Monash University in Australia, called it a “chance finding” that four women in the treatment groups were diagnosed with breast cancer, noting that four breast cancer diagnoses among 814 women during a two-year period is “not unexpected.”

Nevertheless, it seems like a dangerous chance to take for a drug that yields only modest improvements to a woman’s libido.

Not to minimize the impact that menopause and a lack of estrogen can have on a woman’s sex drive, but I’d urge women to investigate more natural methods to boost their libido first, keeping in mind that the most powerful sex organ is the brain. This may be even more true for women than for men; fantasy alone can be a powerful aphrodisiac, as can sexy lingerie, the right mood, and (of course) the right lover’s touch.  Lack of lubrication is a true physical symptom in postmenopausal women, but there are plenty of safe lubricants available to solve that stumbling block.

Even if Intrinsa does become available as a “viagra for women,” satisfactory long-term safety trials could mean five years or more before the patch finds its way to a drugstore near you. And if the drug alone yields a marginal improvement in the sex lives of postmenopausal women, combining it with natural mood enhancers should raise the bar for amazing sex well into a woman’s golden years.

Too Stressed for Sex?

Change of weather. Colds and flu. Back-to-school. Holiday displays side-by-side with back-to-school sales. Is there anything about fall that isn’t stress-inducing?

Experts agree that sex is a great stress-buster. But getting in the mood with a million things on your mind isn’t easy. Contrary to clichés and popular belief, lack of a sex drive affects both genders when life gets hectic.

Some people, however, turn to sex when things get tough. Are these lucky types naturally conditioned for this healthy response, or have they trained themselves over time to know that sex will make them feel better, so why not just do it?

When two partners handle stress differently—one turning to carnal diversions, the other shutting down—that just adds another stressor to your life. You crave more nooky while your partner crawls further into that emotional hidey-hole (and not the fun one, either!)

So what’s a stressed-out, horny girl or guy to do? Sure, you could turn to Vibrator.com’s huge array of toys, but sometimes you crave emotional intimacy, too. Try these tantalizing seduction tactics to show your partner that the studies are right—sex is a stress-buster.

• Don’t push, just suggest. Every lover should have at least one move that she knows makes her partner melt; it’s time to use it. This soft-core tactic should work if the stress level isn’t too high – particularly if it’s been a while for both of you.

• Start with massage. Non-threatening, relaxing and seductive, if a massage doesn’t end in one of your favorite positions that night, it may just give your partner the stress relief she needs to get in the mood the next day. Or maybe she’ll be so appreciative of the massage, she’ll feel she “owes you one.” Either way, mission(ary) accomplished.

• Play. My husband and I play paintball together, bicycle regularly, and are always on the lookout for other fun athletic activities. Since exercise (much like sex) boosts your mood and alleviates stress – and extreme sports or healthy competition creates an adrenaline rush that helps you forget all your problems – fun vertical activities may lead to horizontal adventures.

• Get away. Who has time or money for a vacation right now? If that’s out of the question, take a weekend trip: no cell phones, no lap top, no Blackberry.  Make sure to pack the lingerie and the water toys, but don’t put pressure on your partner. You’re there to relax. If he’s not feeling better by Saturday afternoon, try some of the tactics above.  A nice hotel or cozy Bed and Breakfast just a few hours away from home is a great place to try these diversions.

Vaginal Health and Kegel Exercises

The Pubococcygeus Muscle

The vagina—just like every other part of your body—needs regular exercise to keep it resilient, healthy and happy. Overtime, the vagina and its surrounding muscles on the pelvic floor can weaken, stretch, become torn and no longer offer support due to pregnancy, childbirth, aging, being overweight, abdominal surgery and inactivity. An important part of vaginal health is exercising a muscle called the PC muscle (pubococcygeus muscle). It is a hammock-shaped muscle that stretches from the pubic bone to the tail bone. It forms the pelvic floor and supports the pelvic organs including the bladder, urethra and vagina.

Advantages of Good PC Health

Exercising your PC muscle has numerous advantages because it strengthens the pelvic floor. Strengthening this area will help prevent prolapse (slipping or sagging of the uterus), incontinence (loss of bladder or bowel control) and constipation. For women who are pregnant, a fit PC muscle will help relax muscles during birth allowing for easier deliveries through the birthing canal. After vaginal births, working the PC muscle will benefit you by restoring vaginal muscle tone and promoting perineal healing (the area between the anus and vagina that can stretch or tear during birth).

Some women suffer from painful disorders like vaginismus (pain from vaginal insertion), dyspareunia (painful intercourse) and female sexual dysfunction (loss of sex drive or diminished sexual satisfaction). Working your PC muscles will help make your vagina and pelvic floor stronger and more elastic which means it will stretch easier during sexual intercourse. It will also help stimulate the sex drive by increasing blood flow to the pelvic region which will enhance sensitivity and arousal as well as allow you to achieve orgasm easier. It is important however to consult your doctor if you suffer from any of the above disorders, before beginning any exercise routine.

Enhancing the Sexual Experience

Training your PC muscles is not only for women who suffer from disorders. PC workouts are very beneficial for all women, regardless of your age, your vagina’s physical condition, or whether or not you have given birth. Why? Since the PC muscle also encircles the outside of the vagina, healthy PC muscles will improve sexual arousal, allow you to feel your partner more fully during intercourse and intensify your partner’s pleasure by tightening the vagina cavity, thus enhancing lovemaking for both of you. And, that’s not all. Strong PCs allow you to reach orgasm more easily, experience more powerful and pleasurable orgasms, and may even help you achieve multiple orgasms as you learn to better control and respond to your sexual arousal. Fit PC muscles also improve G-spot stimulation and can help you learn to experience G-spot orgasms and female ejaculation. Rhythmic squeezing of your PC muscles during intercourse will help increase lubrication, stimulate the clitoris, and massage your partner’s penis to take him to new heights of sexual ecstasy.

Finding your PC Muscle

It is very easy to find your PC muscle. You probably use it on a daily basis without even being aware of it. It is the muscle you use when you stop urinating mid-stream. The muscles of your pelvic floor tighten and your vaginal muscles clench when you activate this muscle. A method of locating the PC muscle is to insert a finger or two inside your vagina and squeeze until you feel the muscles gripping your fingers. So now that you’ve found it, how do you exercise it?

Kegel Exercises

Kegel exercises are how you work the PC muscles, strengthen the pelvic floor and restore muscle tone to this area. Named after Dr. Arnold Kegel, kegels consist of contracting and relaxing the muscles in rhythmic intervals. There are different types of kegels and different methods for exercising them. Regularity when doing kegels is more important than how many you do in sequence. It is therefore recommended to do any of the following exercises three times a day. You can even mix them up. The exercises become easier the more often you do them. Remember to relieve your bladder first before performing kegels.

Basic Kegel

The Basic kegel is a slow, controlled squeeze of the PC muscle, as you draw upward and inward. Imagine that you are sucking water up through your vagina (you can actually do this in the bathtub when your PC muscles are strong). Each time you do this hold for a count of 3-5 seconds. Repeat 10 times.

Pulsing Kegels

Pulsing kegels involves squeezing and releasing the PC muscle rapidly in quick succession, in a pulsing tempo. It is important to maintain control during these, instead of aiming for speed. It is not a race. Work your way up 25 or 30 pulses.

Kegel Push-Outs

This exercise engages the PC muscles more thoroughly giving a great workout. Slowly squeeze in, taking a deep breath, then slowly, gently push out, releasing your breath. Continue in a slow, in-out sequence, breathing in, and then out in time with each contraction. Repeat 10-20 times.

Elevator Kegels

This is my favorite kegel and I find it really works to tighten those muscles. Imagine that your vagina is an elevator shaft with the opening at the vagina entrance. Slowly pull the muscles in starting at the vagina, continuing to tighten as you go up the shaft like an elevator going up to the top floor. Pause at the top, and then slowly lower in reverse sequence. You will feel the difference just after a few times. Repeat 10-20 times.

Kegels and Sex Toys

There are several “sex toy” products now available on the market that enhances kegel exercises. I think of them as barbells for the vagina. Just as adding weight-training to an exercise routine helps improve strength and muscle tone, adding sex toys to your kegels increases resistance and gives you something to squeeze around, adding an extra benefit to the workout. You can do this as part of your regular kegel workout, or during masturbation. Who knew that doing something so pleasurable could benefit you as well! Try using the following toys while enjoying clitoral stimulation simultaneously to enhance your enjoyment as well as the power of your orgasms.

Duo-tone, Orgasm or Ben Wa Balls

You’ve probably heard of Ben Wa Balls . These are small weighted balls (usually plastic or metallic) that are inserted into the vagina for the purpose of kegel exercises and enhanced masturbation. The balls feel like they move around inside you because of the weights as they boost sensation to the entire area. Use them by clenching and doing kegels with them.

SmartBalls by FunFactory

SmartBalls are my favorite kegel sex toy. Like everything made by FunFactory, Smartballs are both innovative and high quality. Smartballs are two small metal balls inside a coating of silicone connected by an elastomer string that make them comfortable and sleek. They are inserted into the vagina where they vibrate and titillate, giving you a targeted work out for your PC muscles. They are a little larger than most other orgasm balls as well, making them easier to clench on to.

Berman Center Isis Beginning Pelvic Exerciser

The Isis is a dildo type pelvic exerciser made of smooth glass that is bowed at the ends. One end is inserted into the vagina and acts as a resistance to squeeze your vagina and PC muscles around. Try the Isis with any of the former mentioned exercises or during masturbation for enhanced play.

Natural Contours Energie

Natural Contours has designed a great product for doing kegels called Energie. It is weighted vaginal barbell that works the same as the Isis, but even better. The Energie is made of sleek hard plastic that is ergonomically shaped for ultimate comfort. Not only will this barbell strengthen your PC muscles while doing kegels, but it is perfectly shaped for G-Spot stimulation and self-pleasure. One end is slightly larger than the other as well, giving you a bit of variety.

So there it is. An exercise that will benefit your sexual pleasure as well as your health that you can do while masturbating or having sex. Who could ask for anything more? And, don’t underestimate the power of you PC. The first time you squeeze your vagina around your partner’s penis you will be delighted by his response. Not to mention the delight you will feel by your own heightened sexual experience. So, don’t delay. Keep your vagina resilient, healthy and happy. And, as Sue Johanson says: “Use it or loose it!”

Self-Abuse and the Origin of Masturbation Myths

Masturbation has been one of the most tabooed subjects throughout history and destructive myths still circulate in today’s society. Yet, it is the most common form of sexual play and a study by the Kinsey Institute maintains that between 62 percent of women and 92 percent of men jill and jerk-off regularly.

So, where did the negativity and guilt stem from?

Historically, masturbation was condemned due to the assumption that the “spilling of seed”—since men allegedly had a limited amount—was a wasteful act that endangered the survival of the species. The ancient Taoists believed that sperm held the life force (chi) and ejaculation would cause as loss in virility. Hippocrates believed that loss of semen would result in spinal problems. These days, we know that men produce 50,000 sperm per minute, so those ancient stigmas no longer make sense.

The “wasting of seed” further gained negative associations with the dawn of Christianity. The Church condemned masturbation as a “selfish act” because it allowed one to experience a kind of ecstasy that conflicted with religious ecstasy. “Onanism” originates in Genesis 38:9 . Onan refused to have sex with his brother’s widow and “spilled his semen on the ground to keep from producing offspring”. Although this taboo finds its seeds in Onan, the term is inaccurately associated with masturbation, for it was “coitus interruptus” or premature withdrawal that was the actual sin committed. Many Christian leaders today support the practice of masturbation as an act of self-love.

Thomas Laqueur traces the negative attitudes about masturbation to the following text in his book Solitary Sex: Cultural History of Masturbation.
In 1712, an anonymous physician published a text called “Onania” or, The Heinous Sin of Self Pollution, and all its Frightful Consequences which warned about the dangers of defiling your own body. He linked masturbation to sodomy and homosexuality and claimed it caused numerous ailments including blindness, insanity and stunted growth.

Over the centuries, physicians considered masturbation the worst form of the “wasting.” These corrupted ideas were the basis for an obsession to exorcize society from “self pollution” and was blamed for everything from acne and gout, to backache and epilepsy, madness and nymphomania. Female masturbation was viewed as a “moral leprosy” and many diseases were blamed on it such as cancer, hysteria and mania. Female clitorectomy—or, the surgical removal of the clitoris—was one of the terrible mutilations performed on girls under the guise of a cure.

Negative attitudes were further supported in the early 1900s by Graham (Graham cracker) and cereal developer John Harvey Kellogg who described masturbation as “the vilest, the basest and the most degrading act that a human being can commit.” Both of these men lead a health food crusade against sexual excess, including masturbation. Numerous “anti-masturbation” torture devices were invented with their stamp of approval including genital cages, spiked chastity belts and shock therapy applied to the genitals of young boys. Other inhuman therapies included the use of blistering powders on the genitals or leeches and bloodletting. Cutting the foreskin was also a popular remedy and in some extreme cases, patients had their foreskin pierced by a wire and soldered together. Most brutal was forced castration.

Current myths about masturbation or (OM) still inspire guilt. As recently as 1994, at least 50 percent of adults said they still felt guilty about masturbating. Most of these concerns are due to the persistence of social stigmas associated with masturbation and the “discomfort associated with discussions of sexuality” in general. But, rest assured. They are only myths and will not:

• reduce your arousal over time
• turn you into a homosexual
• cause infertility or impotence
• make your penis shrink
• cause STDs or AIDS
• make you go bald
• cause hair to grow on your palms
• or turn you into a werewolf

Today we know the myths associated with masturbation are no more than sex-negative propaganda. Solo sex is no longer a crime to be punished, nor a disorder to be cured. Sexologists now recognize that masturbation is a normal, natural act that promotes vitality and health. Research shows that masturbation has numerous health benefits and improves prostate health in men, reduces pre-menstrual cramping in women, provides a healthy release for sexual tension, and is the ultimate in safe sex. Psychotherapists agree “that a lack of masturbatory experience may be related to psychopathology, rather than the practice of autoeroticism.” In fact, Masters and Johnson—a team of physicians responsible for pioneering the field of human sexuality—have established that masturbation does not cause any “negative short-term or long-term medical health effects” what-so-ever. Therefore, the only dilemma that masturbation may cause is “laundry problems.”

Safer Head

It’s a telltale sign that I’m a product of Generation X, but when I saw this news report talking about a study on the dangers of oral sex, all I could think of was the line uttered by Dante in the original Clerks: “You sucked 37 dicks?!”

I’ve long believed that the 1994 Kevin Smith movie played a role in blow jobs becoming, for better or worse, the teenage equivalent of making out in recent decades. My husband often laments that the movie hadn’t been made yet when he was a teenager; I tell him to quit complaining and then I start making up for lost time.

A study from Johns Hopkins University, however, shows that unprotected oral sex, especially with multiple partners over time, may not be the “safe sex” alternative many teenagers view it as. Sure, it can’t get you pregnant, but strains of the HPV virus, shown to cause cervical cancer in women, can be transmitted orally and are linked to head, neck and throat cancer.

Anyone who is not monogamous should understand the risks associated with oral sex without a condom or dental dam. Not only can HPV be spread through unprotected oral sex, but so can gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes and HIV. Maybe this is old news, but it bears repeating.

What surprised me is the prevalence of HPV-related throat cancer. According to the Johns Hopkins report, the cancer afflicts approximately 11,000 people in the U.S. each year, making it an equal threat as cervical cancer.

To date, no study has been done regarding the effect of Gardasil, Merck’s questionable vaccine to protect against certain strains of HPV, to prevent throat cancer.

Now, I’m the first one to rail against “alarmist” studies. But I feel this is important information that should be shared. Condoms and dental dams can reduce the risk of spreading HPV, but not eliminate it entirely.

Still, with the lines of colorful and tasty condoms available today, there’s really no excuse, if you’re not in a monogamous relationship, to use a condom during oral sex.

And if you take some time and learn to put the condom on using only your mouth and tongue, I seriously doubt you’ll hear your partner complain!

Do Aphrodisiacs Exist?

From rhinoceros horns to Spanish Fly, even oysters and chocolate-covered strawberries, mankind has relied on natural foods and herbs to boost his libido. But do they work?

According to an FDA report published in 2006, probably not.

But you don’t have to believe the FDA. Even renowned sex expert Dr. Ruth Westheimer has been quoted as saying, “There’s no such thing as a true aphrodisiac.”

It’s more likely that an aphrodisiac’s power lies in a person’s belief that it works… the old placebo effect. The mind is our most powerful sex organ, so if we believe a food will make us sexy, sensual and desirable, it will.

A food’s desire-boosting abilities may also have more to do with the environment in which it is eaten than the food itself. Sucking down oysters during a candlelight dinner, soft music playing, champagne sparkling in fine crystal flutes… Who wouldn’t begin to feel amorous?

The placebo effect is definitely powerful. That’s why certain foods, due to their nutritional value, the physiological effects they have on your body, and centuries of folklore, are considered highly effective aphrodisiacs.

Amy Reiley, author of Fork Me, Spoon Me: The Sensual Cookbook likes ginger, because it makes your tongue tingle and swells your lips, turning them red and kissable, and also raises your body temperature slightly.

You won’t get these effects from a can of Canada Dry, though. Try some fresh ginger in a crisp veggie stir fry or make your own homemade ginger ale to really experience the powerful herb.

Discovery Health recommends asparagus, chili peppers and chocolate for their stimulating powers. Asparagus is rich in Vitamin E, thought to stimulate production of sex hormones. Chili peppers release capsaicin, a chemical that stimulates our nerve endings and also releases endorphins. And dark chocolate—in addition to its creamy, sweet taste and sensual texture—contains phenylethylamine, which gives us a natural high. Recent studies show that dark chocolate not only makes us feel good, it’s good for the heart, too.

Even if the aphrodisiac effect in these foods is purely psychological, nutritionists and sex experts agree that healthy foods are more likely to have long-term positive effects on your sex drive by giving you more energy and helping you look and feel better.

But there’s one aphrodisiac that won’t even count toward your daily caloric intake: regular exercise. The release of testosterone during workouts, along with feel-good endorphins and adrenaline, has been shown to boost the sex drives of both men and women.

A friend of mine says he’s started having sex three times a day since he began working out. I know an hour of bicycle-riding on the weekend always puts me in the mood. Besides, regular exercise will help you look better, feel better about yourself, and give you more energy. What’s not to love about that?

HPV Vaccine: Cancer Prevention or Corporate Profits?

There’s a lot more to the HPV vaccination debate than whether or not it will encourage sexual activity in young women by providing peace of mind in the form of protection against one sexually transmitted virus. Merck’s HPV vaccine, Gardasil, is purported to protect against two strains of Human papillomavirus (HPV), which could lead to cervical cancer, and two strains of the virus connected to genital warts.

The debate pits public interest groups and the profits of one of the largest drug companies in the world against conservative ideals and unrealistic beliefs about sexual activity and teens. But there’s more to the argument. The vaccine is under attack by many leaders in the field of natural health and concerned parents on both sides of the political fence. With the health and well-being of tens of millions of young women at stake, who do you believe? Is Gardasil effective, and, more importantly, is it safe? Some say it’s neither.

Mike Adams, known as the Health Ranger, exposes what he calls the “Great HPV Vaccine Hoax,” in a special report at Natural News. At the core of his argument is the assertion that, according to an FDA report, most HPV infections are “short-lived and not associated with cervical cancer.” Additionally, if the vaccine is given to a young woman already carrying HPV in a dormant state, it could activate the infection, causing precancerous legions, according to Adams.

Equally scary are attempts to push the vaccination on young boys! Clearly, they are not at risk for cervical cancer, but Merck claims the vaccine will help prevent the spread of HPV and genital warts. It sounds to me like they are just trying to widen the market for this new “miracle vaccine,” without considering the possible long-term health consequences.

In what looks like another attempt to force usage and increase profits, the powerful pharmaceutical lobbyists have convinced many states to introduce legislation making the vaccination mandatory for girls entering sixth grade. According to recent accounts, none of the bills have passed yet, and those without an opt-out clause for philosophical or religious reasons have died. In Texas, Governor Rick Perry signed an executive order mandating the vaccine for all girls entering the sixth grade. Upon careful examination, we discover that Perry’s former chief of staff, Mike Toomey, is now a Merck lobbyist. Perry also allegedly received significant funds from Merck’s political action committee in 2006. However, the Texas legislature over-rode the executive order.

Understandably, many parents are up in arms about the vaccine, and especially about the government trying to mandate its use. Because Gardasil only works if a woman has not been exposed to HPV, it is most effective in young girls who have never had sex. Some medical professionals recommend starting the vaccine, given in a series of 3 shots over 6 months, at age 9.

Some parents believe the vaccine will encourage promiscuity or sex without a condom. Others simply can’t fathom the thought of their daughters having sex, and eschew any discussions along those lines.

This faction ignores the fact that adolescent girls turn into grown women who do, indeed, have sex and who also have the right to protect themselves against sexually transmitted infections. Fifty percent of all sexually active women have, at one point, contracted HPV. If the vaccine really works, it offers the chance to beat those odds.

These “watchdog” groups hide their true objections behind the medical arguments, which are more difficult to refute. So we’re back to the original question: does Gardasil work?

The fact is, existing evidence does not consider the long-term effects of the vaccine. (It hasn’t been around long enough). However, clinical studies have shown Gardasil to be more than 95 percent effective in protecting against four different strains of HPV.

In deciding whether to have your daughter (or yourself, if you’re under the age of 26) vaccinated, consider this: all vaccines carry some risks. Do the drawbacks (which may or may not be evident at this time) outweigh the benefits of becoming, as the commercial goes, “One less?” Like most decisions related to sexual activity, lifestyle and your health, it’s a decision only you can make.

Life’s a PARTY! How about some Viagra?

“I take it to enhance my endurance” says Motley, a 27yr old soldier from Pennsylvania who has never had performance issues. He buys his Viagra through an online pharmacy located in Mexico.
Viagra and it’s newer rivals, Levitra, Cialis, are erectile-dysfunction drugs, which were originally intended for older people who had a problem performing. But in the last few years these drugs have caught on as recreational drugs. Studies published state that while the largest groups of Viagra users are still in the 56 – and – older age group, there’s been a sudden increase of over 300% in prescriptions for men under 45 since the drug was first launched in 1998.

But ………. And there’s always a but!

The increasing usage of the drug by un-intended users has been raising eyebrows in the medical community. Viagra works for four to six hours, when combined with alcohol it leads the user to make very unwise late night decisions. For example, the user may decide not to use a condom one night or perhaps if they cannot find sex they will call an escort service.
Scientists have found that men don’t develop physical dependencies on the medications or loss of normal function if they stop taking them after extended use.  The recreational user might take Viagra to sell himself as a sexual superman early in the relationship. But once things get serious, he has to perform without the support of his little diamond-shaped friend.
All erectile-dysfunction drugs work in the same way. Each blocks an enzyme called phosphodiesterase-5, relaxing smooth-muscle cells to allow increased blood flow to the penis and all three have the same possible side effects. Most common being headaches and facial flushing.

Why use Viagra? Here at Vibrator.com we recommend the following items to keep you at your peak performance.

Julian’s Rock Hard Cream: Helps the man maintain and prolong his erection and delay or prevent premature ejaculation. Odorless and tasteless, this product can be even more helpful if used with also used with a cock ring(i.e. Twin Rabbit Cock Ring).

Kama Sutra – Pleasure Balm: Designed to prolong the pleasures of lovemaking! This uniquely formulated emollient for men imparts a tingling, slightly numbing sensation that helps him preserve his powers way into the night.

Check out our other variety of Sexual Enhancing, Lotions Oils Creams and Gels.