How to Get Turned on to Ben Wa Balls

With all the horror stories on the Internet about women who get ben-wa balls stuck you know where, the ancient Eastern sex toy may seem a little intimidating.

Sit back, relax… or perhaps lie down, and let me tell you about my first experience with Ben Wa Balls.

Cool textures, smooth feel
I admit after reading the horror stories, I was a bit tentative. The idea of the ben wa balls also didn’t seem very comfortable at first. First, I added some lubricant to the balls, because, honestly, I didn’t see these going in easily without any. I began masturbating with the balls, enjoying the ridged texture and the cool smoothness of the plastic. The weighted balls had a nice — very nice — feel and I soon enjoyed banging them against myself.

I’d often watched porn where a woman enjoys having someone smack her clit — or doing it herself. The balls provided that pulsing sensation without the sting.

It wasn’t long before I was wet enough to insert them easily. And they didn’t need as much lube as I thought. (But I still hold to the adage that you can never, ever have enough lube.)

Once the ben wa balls were inside, I have to admit, they didn’t provide as much pleasure as I thought they would, immediately. Ben wa balls are not a passive sex toy, where you lie there and let them do the work. In fact, they take a bit of creativity — and knowing your body — to really get the most pleasure from them.

I started to go through my usual masturbation repertoire, while also moving the balls around by the string every so often. It was fun but I knew I was missing something.

Contrary to the balls getting stuck, they kept slipping out. Each time, I pushed them deeper, and that’s when the pleasure potential started to hit me. With the balls filling me completely, I began to imagine a lover’s cock inside me along with them. Yes… these balls had an appeal.

Believe What You Read…
I ramped up the hand motion and, as I started to come, I realized the entire purpose — or at least, one of the purposes — of ben wa balls. The ridges caressed the inside walls of my vagina as my body pulsated. The weights inside them seemed to give the balls a life of their own. I detected mild vibrations — not as strong as my favorite vibe, more like a gentle tickling sensation.

By this time, I’d become adept at moving the balls by moving my legs, and was able to manipulate them to keep the orgasm going for minutes of undulating pleasure. Each spasm created another spasm, waves of ecstasy, just as the advertisements promise.

Ben wa balls have several uses and I look forward to experimenting with them all. You can use ben wa balls:

• during masturbation
• during intercourse
• in your vagina during anal sex, to give you a full feeling at every angle
• for kegel exercises
• throughout the day — as you learn to manipulate the balls with subtle movements, you can bring yourself to orgasm anytime, anywhere.

It’s true that these toys require a little bit of knowledge about your body — and some degree of pelvic muscle control — to really enjoy them to their full potential. But once you unlock the secrets of these ancient toys, you’ll become a true afficianado. You may even begin to collect multiple sets of balls in different sizes, styles and materials.

Our Top Picks for Ben Wa Balls
Whether you’re buying your first set or adding to your collection, here are some of our favorite ben wa balls:

Doc Johnson’s Gold Ben Wa Balls – cool, classy, sexy and pthalate-free

Smartballs – my favorite for their texture unique texture and sturdy string for removal

Leopard Duotone Balls – wild and sexy

What’s been your experience with Ben Wa balls? Did they require practice, and did you like them?

Five Ways to Get Your Body Ready for Sex this Summer

Diet and nutrition programs seem to be everywhere lately. I know of at least three “Biggest Loser” style contests on the Web right now, and those are just ones I’ve heard about from friends without doing a Google search.

Summer’s here, and that means less clothes. Whether or not you’re donning a swimsuit this summer, you still want to look good in shorts, capris, or even just short sleeves.

But there’s even more incentive to slim down or tone up — to get your body sex-ready. The good news? You don’t need to go on a starvation diet to do it.

Little changes make a big difference when it comes to sex and weight loss. And feeling sexy really is just a state of mind.

Here are a few suggestions to get (or stay) slim and sexy this summer.

Lose (just a few) pounds. The docs at WebMD say that the more body fat you have, the more SHBG (se hormone binding globulin) you have. This natural chemical binds to testosterone, which could lead to decreased sex in both men and women. Losing as few as ten pounds can raise testosterone levels and stimulate desire.

Eat healthier. Good news. The foods that help you lose weight also stimulate your sex drive naturally. I’m not talking about aphrodisiacs like oysters and strawberries — well, okay, the strawberries can help, especially if they’re covered in dark chocolate. But a diet rich in fruits and vegetables helps regulate blood sugar and control your cholesterol. And healthy really is sexy. Add natural, slow-burning carbs like whole grains and high-protein, low fat foods and you’ll also have more energy for sex.

Get moving. Whether it’s a morning walk on the beach, an afternoon bike ride, or your favorite extreme sport, summer provides lots of opportunities for exercise. Just 20 minutes of exercise a day, 3 times a week, has libido-boosting effects, say those in the know at WebMD.

Envision yourself thin. As you envision yourself with the perfect body — and act as if you have it — you’ll find yourself doing those things naturally to give you that body. And as you act sexy, you’ll attract more sex into your life. Does this sound like the old “chicken and the egg” argument? (As in, which came first?) Thoughts come before action, so as you begin living a life filled with sexy thoughts, soon you’ll be living a life filled with sex — whatever your size. Even if you don’t feel confident, act that way. Hold your head high.

Embrace yourself as you are. I’m not talking about masturbation — although that’s a great way to get your engine primed for a close encounter. I mean that, as you “think yourself thin” every day, you are also accepting your body completely for what it is right now. Accepting your body and your sexuality — whether you are a size 2 or size 20 — makes you feel more desirable and that is how to really get heads turning as you walk by on the beach.

Sex in a Heat Wave

Newsflash: It’s hot. Really, really hot. The upside to this, of course, is that you get to see girls clad in very short-shorts and tight tank tops or, if you live in the right area, those sexy little beach cover-ups.

There’s another benefit: Studies say that the warm weather, the sun beating down on our half-naked bodies, and all those lazy days by the pool lead to increased libido. That’s because sunlight leads to an increase in production of Melanocyte Stimulating Hormone, which has been shown to increase a woman’s sex drive.

The irony, here, of course, is that while sunny and warm weather increases our sex drive, when it gets this hot – 95 degrees before noon with approximately six zillion percent humidity – everybody’s already so hot and sticky it can be tough to get in the mood for activities that make you more sticky and sweaty.

How about these warm-weather tips to stay cool and sexy, while taking advantage of that libido-boosting sunshine?

Water, water everywhere. This is the kind of weather that makes you want to strip down naked and jump in the pool. Go for it! Convince your partner to do the same and enjoy your own private pool party. Use lots of silicone-based lubricant because water (ironically) washes away both natural lubrication and water-based lubricants.

Also remember that chlorine can potentially cause a condom to weaken and break. Don’t let all this put a damper on your fun, just be safe and stick with a monogamous partner for this one!

Ice is nice… Mmm… who needs air conditioning when you can rub ice cubes up and down your partner’s naked body? It’s cooling and stimulating and oh-so-sexy. Or use fresh frozen fruit (like strawberries) and then chow down. Many tantric sex practices incorporate fruit as foreplay, for its nutritive values and sensual scent and taste.

Icy cool oral sex. Give your partner a sexy blast of cool air by chewing peppermint breath mints or even fresh mint before a blow job. Gulping a cold beverage (make it a Mojito for the minty blast!) and then going down on him creates “just-cold-enough” sensations, too, for a unique pleasure experience. Even better, use the Good Head One Shots for the same cool sensation in a variety of delicious flavors. Yum!

Chill out. A cold shower may sound counter-intuitive for revving up your sex drive, but it could be just what you need to get cool and comfortable enough for a cuddle – and more! Don’t waste time drying off much… just grab each other and go for it!

Stay out of bed. The last thing we want is lie on a cushy mattress, surrounded by pillows, when it’s warm. How about sex on the coffee table, floors…? Any place flat will do. Or wait until after hours when temps drop and hit your backyard lawn?

Sunburned? Use aloe gel. Nothing puts a damper on nookie like sunburn. Turn treatment into foreplay by asking your lover to gently – very gently! – rub chilled aloe vera gel on your sore spots and see where all the gentle rubbing leads. (Just keep the gel away from your privates; there’s a reason the bottle reads: “for external use only.”

When the sun is hot, you should be, too. Use these creative tips – or come up with your own ideas to combine cold water play with hot sex.

Does the G-Spot Really Exist?

Since the g-spot was discovered in 1950 by German gynecologist Dr. Ernst Grafenberg it’s been the subject of studies, supposition, sex tips and dispute. In 1982, Beverly Whipple wrote the international bestseller The G Spot and Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality, giving the g-spot its name and newfound fame.

For years, Grafenberg and Whipple were taken at their word. Yes, women have a g-spot. It is a pleasure center and the source of vaginal (as opposed to clitoral) orgasms. But then researchers began poking around. Does the g-spot really exist?

The Finding of the G-Spot
Two years ago, The Journal of Sexual Medicine published the results of a study by an Italian research team that seemed to reveal  evidence of the g-spot’s existence. The researchers studied 20 women by means of a questionnaire and an ultrasound, and spotted a physiological difference between women who achieve vaginal orgasms and those who do not.

A media frenzy ensued. Magazine headlines read “How to find the g-spot!” Sales of specially-shaped g-spot vibrators spiked.

Women (and their partners) embarked on a quest more challenging than that of the Holy Grail. (Those who’ve read Dan Brown’s DaVinci Code know what an apt analogy that really is.) And women who, after much experimentation, still could not find their g-spot were left feeling somewhat inadequate. If only they had known…

What is the g-spot?
The g-spot is believed to be a quarter-sized (some say nickel-sized) spot of tissue about 1/3 of the way up the vaginal wall on the anterior side (toward the belly). Stimulation of this spot in some women leads to intense orgasms and, sometimes, female ejaculation.

Researchers at the University of L’Aquila found through ultrasound that women who experience vaginal orgasm are statistically more likely to have thicker tissue in this area of the vagina, lending credence to the existence of an actual, physical g-spot.

The Latest Findings
Not so, say the latest findings, also published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.
Granted, the 2008 research was on flimsy ground. The  research group was too small.  The research methods were faulty.  The evidence was inconclusive.

The new study, which surveyed 902 sets of twins, discovered the g-spot actually does not exist…

Um. Come again?

Since identical twins are genetically identical, if one claimed to have a g-spot, the other would be likely to, as well. This was not the case. The survey findings, according to the researchers, suggest there is no genetic basis for the existence of the g-spot.

However, in the same study, 56 % of the women said they do, in fact, have a g-spot.  The researchers say environmental and psychological factors may contribute to certain women having intense orgasms when this area is stimulated.

Does it matter?
After the 2008 study was released, some women may have felt inadequate if they (or their lover) could not find their g-spot. This latest study may assuage those concerns. You can’t find it because it doesn’t exist.

But what about those of us who know, in fact, that Good Things happen when something (a finger, a vibrator…) stimulates that spot about 1 to 3 inches up in the vagina? Are we the crazy ones now?

It’s quite possible, as Greg Laden points out in his science blog, that the g-spot exists but has no basis in genetics. It could also mean that every woman does, in fact, have a g-spot but the 44 % of women who said they didn’t have one simply haven’t been able to find theirs.

While the most recent study uses a larger sampling than the 2008 study, the research methods still aren’t the most reliable. Sex educator Dr. Petra Boynton, in her blog “Where Have All the G-Spots Gone,” does  a wonderful job tearing apart the study, so I’ll let her have at it.

Meanwhile, my thoughts…

Don’t stop looking
Perhaps all women have this spot (sometimes thought to be urethral sponge) but not all women have the same response when it is stimulated. After all, every woman varies in what she likes. Some women don’t like direct clitoral stimulation. Other women can orgasm simply from having their nipples played with.

Even the same woman, on a different day, may enjoy different sexual pleasures. And the same thing that turned her on one night may be downright painful the next. (Sorry, guys… that’s what makes us so intriguing!)

If you’re in that percentage of women who has not yet found your g-spot, I encourage you to continue the hunt, regardless of what this week’s scientific study says.

Just don’t pursue your search at the expense of other sexual pleasures. After all, the more you explore your body, alone or with a lover, the more ways you will discover to orgasm.

And for those women who know beyond a doubt their g-spot exists, might I suggest buying it a special toy?

Sex and the Health Care Reform Bill

There’s one thing members of both major political parties agree on: The U.S. needs some type of health care reform. From there, though, opinions diverge wildly.

The 2,032-page bill introduced by House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) outlines a national healthcare plan with some very good points. For instance, the bill:

• prevents insurers from denying coverage to people with pre-existing conditions
• caps personal financial liability when someone faces a medical emergency
• prevents insurers from dropping people who become ill

Two of the key sticking points in the plan passed in November by the House of Representatives and now facing the Senate are – not surprisingly — sex education and abortion funding. The old adage rings true: in the end, it always comes around to sex.

Sex education, not abstinence teaching, supported
One provision of the bill, titled the “Healthy Teen Initiative to Prevent Teen Pregnancy,” supports taxpayer funding of sex education proven, through evidence-based research, to:

• delay sexual activity in teens;
• decrease the number of sexual partners;
• reduce teen pregnancy;
• reduce sexually transmitted infection rates; or
• improve rates of contraceptive use.

Abstinence-based programs, all the rage in many schools recently, will not be supported by tax dollars. According to some sources, the provision considers the abortion drug RU-486 as “contraception,” along with Plan B (the morning-after pill), IUDs, birth control pills and condoms.

Taxpayer-funded abortions nixed
While the conservative community may have lost the battle over sex education, an amendment to the bill barring federal funding for abortions, however, can be viewed as a conservative victory. In fact, it’s much more than that — it’s politicians listening to the majority of their constituents based on poll results.

A CNN poll showed that 61% of Americans (across all political parties) oppose using public funds to cover abortion. Thirty-seven percent are in favor of taxpayer-funded abortion. Slightly more than half believe all abortions should be paid for out of pocket, rather than through any insurance at all.

It’s interesting to note, however, that of respondents to a Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life survey, only 3 % cited abortion funding as a reason to oppose health care reform. Yet our legislators have turned this into a hot-button, make-or-break issue.

What do opponents really dislike about the bloated health care reform bill? The two highest-ranking responses, tied at 27 % each, were: “it’s too expensive” and “don’t want government involved in health care.”

When you consider the post office, Department of Motor Vehicles, Social Security and other government-regulated programs, it’s amazing the numbers for the latter response weren’t higher.

I firmly believe Americans need to take more responsibility for their health as a whole, in the form of healthy eating, frequent exercise, and common sense wellness care. But if I do get sick, I don’t want the government in charge of the tools that can assist me in healing. This firmly overrides any other issue relating to the health care reform bill, all of which seem to make sizzling headlines.

Health care reform good for LGBT Community
Too much government involvement aside, there are a few bright points to the legislation. One provision eliminates the hefty tax penalties non-married partners — a large percentage of which are gay or lesbian — face when they put their partner on their health insurance plan. As someone who lived with my (opposite sex) partner nearly seven years before we got married, this makes all sorts of sense to me. Marriage, again, should be a personal choice based on love, not economics.

Additionally, the bill prohibits discrimination in health care based on “personal characteristics extraneous to the provision of high quality health care or related services.” This includes gender and sexual orientation.

Certain parts of health care reform are on the right track. But the question remains: Will the bill pass before 2009 ends?

Would You Give Your Teen Daughter a Vibrator?

Sex expert Dr. Laura Berman recommends women buy vibrators for their teenage daughters.

“You’re teaching them about their own bodies and pleasuring themselves,” Dr. Berman said on a segment of Oprah this past spring. “They don’t need [a] boy – they don’t need another person — until they’re ready.”

She went on to say that using a vibrator may even make teenage girls safer, sexually-speaking, because it may encourage them to put off their sexual experience even longer.

Oprah’s best friend, Gayle King, shook her throughout the segment, arguing that it is “just too much information.” Kids are growing up fast enough, these days, she argued. Parents don’t need to add battery-operated fuel to the raging teenage hormonal fire.

The thought crossed my mind that, upon discovering how good sexual pleasure can feel with a vibrator, teenage girls may actually be more eager to find out about the real thing. (Only to be sorely disappointed by a first experience with an inexperienced boy their own age, of course… sending them running back to their vibrator… maybe Dr. Berman has the right idea?)

Dr. Berman says it’s about empowerment – teaching teens not only the basics of sex as well as how to be safe, but educating them about orgasm. Which we all know is an important part of sex. But I’m still not sure about vibrator-shopping with a teenage daughter.

Talking to Teens About Sex
I remember learning about masturbation from Judy Blume books. A few years later, I started learning about sex from Danielle Steele. We did not talk about sex in my house – at all. While my mom knew exactly what I was reading (after all, she read Danielle Steele and Nora Roberts, too) we never discussed it.

I know this is an extreme situation – the polar opposite of what today’s experts recommend. Certainly, I agree that parents should teach their teens about sex: the basic mechanics, safe sex for protection against disease and pregnancy, and the importance of not giving into peer pressure.

It’s also important to talk about the emotional connection forged after sex, which may surprise teenage girls who don’t fully understand the difference between love and lust; sometimes, those “feel-close” hormones can even throw grown women for a loop after a casual encounter.

Girls are giving blowjobs at 13 and 14 years old. (Note to the experts: Surprise! This is NOT a new phenomenon!) So it’s wise for parents to explain that STI’s can be transmitted through oral sex and condom use is important. Parents shouldn’t just pretend it’s not happening or even that it’s an atrocity.  It happens, has been happening probably since the dawn of time, and will continue to happen.  Sex education in schools, one-on-one conversations  at home, and buying sex toys for our teens won’t change that. The best we can do is educate teens on how to be safe and protect against disease and pregnancy. Well, that or chastity belts.

A Vibe for your Teen?
While I’m very much in favor of sex education and parents talking to their kids about sex, I also agree with Gayle King that to buy a teenage girl a vibrator is, indeed, “TMI.” I think discussions with teens about sex should lean toward the practical and the clinical. Of course, if a teenager has any questions, they should be answered open and honestly, and parents should make it clear that their kids can come to them with questions.

But I can imagine only one reaction if my mother ever brought up the topic of vibrators, masturbation or the specifics of orgasm: complete mortification. I can’t imagine it would be comfortable for many teenagers – or their parents. And I don’t see many benefits to it.

With all due respect, I think Dr. Berman is not giving enough consideration to the other reasons teenagers have sex, including the same reason vibrators don’t replace real-life lovers for grown-ups. Whether you’re 14 or 40, a sex toy—while fun—can never replace the intimacy of sex with someone you love (or even like a whole lot!)

Does New HIV Vaccine Offer Hope against AIDS?

The World Health Organization (WHO) and the U.N. agency UNAIDS received a happy surprise last week.  A new vaccine proved to be somewhat successful in preventing one strain of the HIV virus in a sampling of 16,000 volunteers in Thailand classified as individuals at  average risk to contract AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome).

According to various sources, including the Scientific American website, 51 individuals in the vaccinated group contracted HIV by the end of the three-year trial, while 74 in the placebo group contracted the virus that causes AIDS.

Participants received condoms, sexual counseling and treatment for any STDs contracted during the study. They received an AIDS test every six months.
These numbers amount to a 31.2 % efficacy rate; the scientific community typically looks for vaccinations with an effectiveness of 70 % or higher.

Nonetheless, the results show a glimmer of hope where, previously there was none. The series of six injections were made up of Sanofi-Aventis SA’s ALVAC and VaxGen Inc.’s AIDSVAX, which each proved ineffective on their own. The vaccines are not made from whole virus and cannot cause HIV.

The scientists and researchers involved in the project report “cautious optimism” about the possibility of discovering an even more effective vaccine, and possibly even a vaccination that could prevent the HIV virus from turning into a full-blown AIDS infection.

This set of vaccinations had no effect on HIV levels of infected individuals – somewhat disheartening news as it shows that researchers may not know what factors contribute to HIV immunity, even after decades of research.
It’s also important to stress that this combination of vaccines only proved marginally effective (30 percent) in this particular strain of HIV prevalent in Thailand.

More Research Needed

In the past, I’ve spoken out quite passionately against vaccines, most notably the HPV vaccine. I don’t want to rain on the “cautiously optimistic” parade this news has evoked, but my fears about acting too hastily with any immunizations remain.

Obviously, more research is necessary in regard to the HIV vaccination and it’s nowhere near ready for FDA-approval to bring it into the U.S. market.  We haven’t heard any reports of the side effects reported with the new vaccination, either, so I’m sure that requires additional research.

However, for the scientific community to go from point zero: “We’re never going to find a vaccine against AIDS, it may not exist,” to such promising test results truly is cause for celebration.

We’re living in an exciting time when researchers may have found vaccines against certain strains of both cancer and AIDS. This is news that, growing up in the 80s, I’d never imagined.

Encouraging Promiscuity?

As with the HPV vaccine, some fear the promise of an HIV vaccine may encourage lackadaisical sexual behavior, increasing the prevalence of HIV and AIDS. Let’s hope that, if the day comes when an HIV vaccine receives FDA approval, it will be close to 100 percent effective. Who knows? With enough people receiving immunization and the herd immunity that develops over time with immunizations, it may be within our lifetimes that we see AIDS eradicated.

Even if this happens, condoms still prevent against a large number of other sexually transmitted diseases and infections. Safe sex and the use of condoms will continue to be important consideration for the prevention of a number of diseases – not to mention an easy, inexpensive and hormone-free way to prevent unwanted pregnancies.

And, it’s important to remember that we may still be years, if not decades, away from a truly effective AIDS vaccine. In the meantime, education and safe sex remain paramount.

Farrah’s Death Raises Anal Cancer Awareness

It’s often hard to make sense of death, especially when the death follows a long battle with a rare illness. Although cancer in so many forms has permeated our society, anal cancer remains quite rare. According to the American Cancer Society, slightly over 5,000 cases are diagnosed each year, with 700 people dying from the disease. On June 25, 2009, 70s icon and former Charlie’s Angel star Farrah Fawcett was one of its victims.

Because of the body part it afflicts, and also because of the stigma attached to it, anal cancer is rarely publicized and often diagnosed too late. In Farrah Fawcett’s case, it was diagnosed and treated in 2006, but then returned this April and spread. On June 25, 2009, the beauty icon passed away from the cancer, which it is reported had spread to her liver.

“Farrah’s Story”
Although the disease, as cancer goes, is quite rare, it is also frequently ignored. Let’s face it: exams used to detect this type of cancer are uncomfortable, at best. The same goes for discussing the topic.

Farrah Fawcett’s documentary, “Farrah’s Story,” which aired on NBC in late May, shed light on the disease and on Farrah’s struggle. During the latter part of her life, Farrah brought several facts about anal cancer into the public eye.

1. If diagnosed early, patients have an 80 to 90 % remission rate.
2. If the cancer is localized and detected in its first stage, the 5-year survival is approximately 82%.
3. According to the American Cancer Society, up to 85 % of all anal cancers are caused by the HPV (human papillomavirus) infection, but it is not a sexually transmitted disease per se.
4. Since up to 25 % of all women have, at some point, contracted the HPV virus, while sexual promiscuity increases the risk of anal cancer, it is not the only risk factor.

Risk Factors
In addition to the HPV virus, risk factors for anal cancer include:

-         being over the age of 50
-         a weakened immune system
-         smoking
-         family history

It’s important to stress that anal cancer is not necessarily an indicator of sexual promiscuity – having many sexual partners is just one of many risk factors. Because small tears in the anus can lead to easier transmission of the HPV virus, practicing safe anal sex can decrease the odds of contracting the disease. The use of condoms can protect against HPV transmission, but may not entirely prevent it.

Symptoms of Anal Cancer
Symptoms of anal cancer include anal bleeding, itching and soreness. Other symptoms include changes in bowel habits, pain or pressure in that area, and unusual discharge from the area. Again, because of the high remission rate when the cancer is detected early, see a doctor if you exhibit any of these symptoms.

What about the HPV Vaccine?
Two vaccines—GlaxoSmithKline’s Cervarix and Merck’s Gardasil—have been shown to protect against some cancer-causing strains of HPV. However, neither vaccine has been approved for use to specifically prevent anal cancer. You can read more about the vaccine in this post, HPV Vaccine: Cancer Prevention or Corporate Profits?

As with any other form of cancer, knowledge of risk factors and symptoms, along with early detection and treatment, are the keys to better health.

Viral Vid Scares Teens into Safe Sex?

A viral video out of the UK that shows teens rushing toward a screaming melee on a high school sports field turns out not to be what you may think. The group of teens has gathered in a circle not to view a game injury or even watch a fight, but to see a pregnant teen giving birth.

The video crosses the line into Really Explicit when we see a tiny head pop out from between the screaming girl’s legs. The video, shot with an iPhone camera, promotes a docu-drama series, launching June 1, on the Web site HeyBabe.co.uk. HeyBabe (Be Aware Be Educated) is a site run by NHS (National Health Services) Leicester to provide support and information to sexually active teens in Leicester, England.

The video closes with the words: “Not what you expected? Being a teenage parent might not be either.”

YouTube banned the video a mere 24 hours after NHS Leicester posted it, saying it was a violation of their terms of service, which prohibits the show of gratuitous violence.

Oddly, Youtube then allowed the same video, branded with information about the docu-drama series it promotes tacked onto the end, to remain on their site. The video also still airs at HeyBabe.com.

Representatives from NHS Leicester Trust said they filmed the video because previous marketing tactics of pamphlets and posters weren’t getting the attention of teens and teen pregnancy is running rampant in Leicester, with one out of every 20 girls, ages 15 to 17, pregnant.

So what’s the problem with the viral video?

I have a number of problems with the video. If you’re going to shock teens into paying attention – and I’m all for that – don’t do it with misinformation and melodrama. Viewing the bloody scene may scare teens out of the thought of giving birth; in fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if it terrifies nearly any woman of childbearing age who may happen upon the video. I’m definitely glad it came out after I gave birth! Considering the video’s been viewed more than 72,000 times (and counting), and has attracted the attention and ire of the mom blogger community, I wonder how many women have already made panicked calls to their moms, friends, sisters or ob/gyns?

But childbirth doesn’t have to be like that at all – not for a young teen or for anyone. Rather than scaring a teen out of having sex, it’s more likely to scare a teenage mother-to-be straight into a scheduled c-section. And that’s not really a desirable option – not for the pocketbook of the health care system, the mother’s well-being, or the infant, for that matter.

Teenagers are impulsive, “instant gratification” types and while the video may temporarily scare them out of ever wanting to have children, I don’t think it will scare them out of having sex. It might not even scare them enough that they will remember to use protection.

However, it’s important to remember the video is only one part of a larger campaign. And NHS Leicester admitted the video was designed to get teens’ attention. In that regard, it has succeeded.

It will be interesting to follow the rest of the marketing campaign and view the docu-drama when it launches. It will be even more interesting to compare teen pregnancy rates after the docu-drama has made the rounds.

I commend NHS Leicester for trying to tackle a very difficult problem. As a natural childbirth advocate, I just wish they had been a bit more responsible in doing so.

Practice Safe Sex

No, this isn’t a post about condoms. Who knew sex toys in the hands (and other anatomy parts) of certain people could be so dangerous?

TheBayNet.com, a local news Web site covering Calvert, St. Mary’s and Charles County, Maryland, reported that a Maryland woman was airlifted to Prince George’s Hospital after an accident involving a vibrator attached to a reciprocating saw blade. According to the report, the blade (quite predictably) sawed through the plastic toy and severely wounded the woman.

The act, however poorly thought-out, was entirely consensual and no charges were pressed.

My question: If the woman was damaged beyond the ability to procreate any longer, can she be nominated as the only living recipient of a Darwin Award?

But what else do you need to know about sex toy safety? (Aside from the obvious: blades sharp enough to cut through wood and metal should not be used in sex play!)

- Make sure a toy is waterproof before you put it in the water. Hint: if it’s got wires and an A/C adapter, it’s not waterproof! Battery-operated toys will specify on the packaging whether or not they are manufactured for water play.

- Butt plugs have wide bases for a reason. Do not insert them past that base, or you risk a rather embarrassing trip to the ER. And it’s happened. According to this article, in fact, it happens quite often.

- Do not place anything other than a sex toy designed for that purpose into any orifice. That means gerbils, food items (which can cause infections), or anything that could, well, get stuck up there. If you feel an urge to insert anything other than a sex toy, there are vibrators available shaped like cell phones, lipstick tubes, even a rubber ducky (and yes, it’s waterproof!)

- Clean all sex toys well before and after each use. As a general rule, most toys can be cleaned with a wet or damp cloth and mild soap or with an anti-bacterial toy cleaner. Only submerge toys which are waterproof. Read more about how to care for your sex toys here.

- Never use a toy in your vagina that’s been used in your (or someone else’s) ass before cleaning. You risk a nasty urinary tract infection due to bacteria.

- Be aware of the potential hazards of phthalate-based sex toys (often called jelly rubber.) While this flexible, silky material feels great the use pthalates in women of child-bearing age has been linked to birth defects. Additionally, the material, which is porous, can harbor bacteria and other germs. You may want to cover your phthalate-based sex toy with a condom. Carefully inspect all sex toys—but especially phthalate-based toys—for signs of wear or discoloration before use.

- Glass sex toys can crack or splinter. Inspect all glass toys before use. If you drop a glass toy on a hard surface, it is no longer safe to use, as it could crack unexpectedly from the stress of being dropped.

- Candles can be beautiful to create a romantic setting, and if you’re into BDSM, you can do all sorts of fun things with the wax, too. But accidents can happen, so keep a fire extinguisher close by if you are burning candles, and never leave a burning candle unattended. Make sure to extinguish before you fall asleep, as well.

Some of these pointers may seem obvious, but, in the heat of the moment, (or when alcohol is involved in sex play) everyone can use a reminder every once in a while. Be safe and have fun!