Our resident blogger Desiree Sweet recently posted an article entitled “Secret Identities”. However applicable to all, let’s take this opportunity to divulge into the world known exclusively by the LGBT community, men who cross-dress, and their friends: Drag Queens.

There are, of course, many famous drag queens of past and present. From those who paved the way like Dame Edna Everage, Margo Howard-Howard, and Divine to Ru Paul and gender bending myspace sensation Jeffree Starr; the evolution of drag has been a progressive one. Still, without such stylish, well crafted stage-names, dressing in women’s clothing could not have come so far!

While it’s not as scientific an approach as choosing your porn star name, there are still some rules that can be followed. As with most beginnings, the starting point should include sufficient amounts of beer, wine, or spirits. A refresher viewing of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert or To Wong Fu might help. Some may recommend the Queen of the Night music video, but don’t be fooled by Whitney Houston in a bad wig.

Drag Names consist of 3 main types, according to my friend Wikipedia. The first are satirical plays on words like Peaches Christ or Candis Cayne. My favorite that I’m sure I didn’t write but like to pretend I did is “Anita Labotomy.” The second type relates to glamour, extravagance, and even royalty. Dame Edna Everage, and The Lady Chablis come to mind. My friend Eliot came up with “Petifore Seasons” the other night. The third type generally has cultural or historical significance or an in-depth and usually familiar backstory. Ricky Reeves and Divine fall into this scheme. My friend Brian coined the offensive and clever “Krystal Nacht” as his drag persona.

But don’t let Wikipedia hinder your creativity. There really are no rules! Try experimenting by drinking more alcohol, as I did for this article. “Miss” is always a good place to start, but don’t get stuck in it. “Miss Appropriation”, “Miss Behavin’”, and “Miss Take” are old Queens, honey, and they’re not getting any younger! Capitalize on celebrities and try “Britney Rears”. Mess it up and try “Sarah Jessica Raphael”. Create an involved backstory about how you’re carrying the baby of the bell boy you met for that one night at the Sheraton, and voila, girl - “Uniqua Hotelbelboy”!

What’s your Drag Queen Name?

Everyone’s favorite online personals site, New York based Nerve wrote a piece on their blog lately entitled Everyone Pays for Sex. Kate Carraway (I searched for her profile on Nerve and I couldn’t find it) followed the spending habits of 9 people for four weeks where their dollars related to sexual pursuit and, ultimately, gratification. One could argue that every dollar spent will eventually lead to getting laid, because, really, isn’t that why we’re here? But Carraway asks us to put on the blinders for this 5 page article and become the sort of voyeuristic web user who frequent Nerve personals. We’re posed with the following questions:

Is being single really more expensive than being in a relationship? Are people who make $20,000 spending as much as those who make over a hundred grand?

As far as I understood from this article, only two participants were in actual relationships. One of the subjects was actually a couple who pooled incomes (skewed data?), while the other was a mom of two who has been married for the last decade. Will mom spend less on finding sex than a 29 year old straight single TV editor? Well, gee, I don’t know! I’m no scientist (despite what I may have claimed in previous posts), but shouldn’t we be presented with a formal hypothesis, have a control group, and then be handed a conclusion wrapped in a neat little bow?

Read the article, if you’re really really bored. If you’ve got shit to do then you’re likely to be as pissed off as I was by this anti-climactic waste of everybody’s time.

(Sorry Kate Carraway. You’ve certainly got journalistic integrity for allowing this to be published without manipulating the heck out of this data!)

Generally, bloggers here will advise on the proper way to handle one’s self for all things sexual.  While instructions on cunnilingus, fellatio, the best vibrator, and how to fulfill your partner’s sick and intimate fantasies should certainly be what readers are looking for, there is apparently just as big of a need for detailing the WRONG way of doing things as well.  Most of us are still figuring out our own bodies and are continually discovering new sensations.  We spend much less time with someone else’s body than with our own, leaving our partners one step ahead of the self-pleasure game.  Add to that the difference in genders of heterosexual relationships and a lot of unanswered questions, and you have a recipie for confusion.  Trial and error.

This is a funny clip from the Swedish film Hip Hip Hora.  Enjoy!

“Let’s have fun with sex and stop being afraid of some freaking digital penises.”

This may be – no, it definitely is – the funniest line I’ve read all week. I won’t even try to match Neoseeker blogger Sean Ridgeley’s wit.  But I shouldn’t keep you wondering what he was talking about either, should I? I’m such a tease.

Electronic Arts, Inc. recently released the hottest new computer game phenomenon from Sims creator Will Wright. The long-awaited “Spore” permits players to create an entire universe beginning with tiny micro-organisms and evolve the world into literally billions of different life forms.  Social networking features permit your universe’s inhabitants to interact with other people’s creations.

And, surprise, surprise, what did some people immediately start to do? Use the program’s Creature Creator feature to build bizarre life forms with sexual organs as unexpected appendages.  Players then post these creatures and their interactions on YouTube for the amusement of others. A new genre, “Spornography,” has been born.

EA has announced that it will ban users who create sexually-explicit material. Some extremists have gone so far as to liken the strange animated characters to “child pornography,” because it’s accessible to anyone on the Internet and is created using an E-rated game. Will Wright, however, has told several news sources that he’s impressed by some of the creations.

To satisfy your sexual curiosity now that I’ve intrigued you with the notion of breast monsters and dancing dicks, here’s a link to The Exploding Barrel’s list of Top 10 Spornography videos.

While some Sporn spawn seems to lack any purpose other than to showcase the sophomoric imaginations of their creators, others look like they could be fairly functional with a couple of C batteries. Just imagine: the sex toy industry could take rabbits to a whole new level with the introduction of the Doc Johnson Spornography line.

Since its inception, eBay has developed some pretty stringent rules as to what items they will permit to be placed up for auction. They’ve taken some heat for banning the sale of firearms, and they don’t permit users to sell used underwear, either. But sometimes interesting sales slip through the cracks.

Recently, a scorned Australian woman sold an empty condom packet (size small, of course) and a photo of lacy underwear (size humongous) after finding them in her cheating husband’s bed. Ebay pulled the original auction, which included “the tart’s” actual black lace “knickers.”

By some accounts, bidding for the panties and condom wrapper had reached six figures. The photograph wound up selling for $303, proving that a picture may be worth a thousand words, but it’s definitely not as valuable as old underwear.

But that doesn’t beat Natalie Dylan, who is auctioning off her virginity to pay for her Master’s Degree. Her offer didn’t make it past eBay’s Terms of Service personnel, although I distinctly recall hearing of similar auctions on eBay in the past.

Dylan’s idea is not unprecedented. In 2004, lesbian Rosie Reid sold her virginity through her own Web site after eBay nixed her auction. Reid received more than $20,000, which she put toward her college education.

With the rising costs of tuition, let’s hope Dylan fares somewhat better than earning enough for just one-year at a private school. She should; she has the publicity behind her. Famed shock jock Howard Stern and Dennis Hof of the world-famous BunnyRanch brothel in Las Vegas have gotten behind the 22-year-old virgin (no, not like that!) to promote her endeavor.

Stern announced the auction on his radio show on Tuesday, September 9, and bidding is taking place through Hof’s site, BunnyRanch.com. Dylan (not her real name) says she won’t just sleep with the highest bidder, but will take bids until she finds someone she’s happy with. The deal will be sealed at the BunnyRanch, where Dylan’s sister already works.

Scam? Or capitalism at its best (and worst)? Stay tuned, as we’ll be following this story to its erotic end.

As for me? I’m off to check out college savings plans for any future daughters I may have!