Making time for sex…

What time is it?

Something I’ve noticed is that no matter how in the mood you are, sometimes there just isn’t time.  Whether it’s chores, work, familial obligations or getting together with friends it seems like there’s always something in the way of finding time to have sex or masturbate.  There was a time when I was “scheduling”, for lack of a better word, time for masturbation.  It was kind of fun because I was able to make a big production of it, with ambiance, a ton of toys, lubes and movies at my disposal so I could scratch whatever itch my body presented.  While doing things like that is certainly fun and has merit, it doesn’t really work in the long term.

I have a strong dislike for scheduling sex.  By scheduling sex I mean saying something to the effect that every Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 7:30pm is sex time.  Doing stuff like that creates a sense of obligation which can lead to resentment and stagnation.  Now, planning a romantic and sexy evening is one thing; that’s a special night, it’s something extra and probably won’t happen again for a while and if it does it’ll be different.  About the only time I can see actually scheduling sex being beneficial is if you’re trying to conceive.  Otherwise it becomes monotonous, lacks spontaneity and can breed resentment.

So what’s the key to finding time then?  I guess in the end it’s just knowing that you’re in the mood and going for it.  While some things like children can’t be set aside for an hour or so, other things like dishes, sending that e-mail and returning the phone call from your Mother can indeed be put set aside for some time so that you can get sexy with your partner.

The important thing to remember is that the grocery store will still be there.  Your Mom will understand a slightly delayed phone call and your chores area always going to be there, even if you do them at 8pm instead of 7pm.  Life will continue on, without glitch or delay, while you’re making love.

When I Masturbate…

Even after all this time sometimes I still worry about what others would think if they saw me.  The strange part is though, if there is a chance that people could see me (like through open blinds or something) then it’s like, extra better for me!  I suppose that’s the exhibitionist in me.  They way I look at it; if someone’s watching then they want to watch, otherwise they wouldn’t, ya know?  However I don’t much like to watch myself so I suppose that’s where the issues come from.

Thing is, I’m a creature that thrives on routine and consistency.  While I don’t mind doing something spontaneously, if there’s any sort of routine change I tend to tweak out a little bit.  However sexually, I like variety, as does my body.  So in the end, sometimes I still end up masturbating in the same way as always because it then avoids any of those weird feelings plus, in the end, it gets the job done quick.

When I really want something special though, I tend to make a pretty big production out of it.  Thus, it doesn’t frequently happen.  First off I typically don’t have free all the time it takes to make such a big production.  I’ll take up to a half hour to prepare for it, while making plans for a day or two prior.  Plus, I’ll take at least a half hour to clean up as well.  I’ll have movies picked out for background, candles and will re-arrange the living room so I have all the space I need.

I also typically have several toys out, if not 2 or 3 toyboxes sitting out for me to get whatever toy or toys I want.  Plus I’ll have all kinds of lube ready, a towel or two, nipple clamps, anal toys, a blanket or two to lay on so I don’t get the couch dirty, and things of that nature.  These tend to be incredible masturbation sessions where I will use 10 or more toys just ‘cuz I get so into the mood I want every sensation I can get.  It’s during these sessions where I often will be able to ejaculate a little bit.  That’s always exciting for me as it takes so very much for me to be able to do so.

It then takes me quite some time to clean up.  First, I need to recoup a bit LOL  Then I need to clean up all my toys and get them put away and all the porn put away and the towels and blankets put away.  Typically I just end up showering ‘cuz I’m covered in lube and my own sexual juices.

Regardless of how I masturbate though; taking 2 hours out of my day or just grabbing one toy and having a 10 minute quickie with myself, I love it.  It’s so fun, it’s wonderful stress relief and if my blinds are open I get to have a little exhibitionist fun as well.  Granted I live on the 2nd floor and there’s no way anyone could see me on the couch unless they’re literally right in front of my window..that’s not the point! LOL

How do you like to masturbate?  Quickies or involved set ups?

Plus Sized Sex

So often when reading about sex and sexuality and sex toys and all that, there are many issues which are addressed.  Different sexual orientations.  Issues resulting from sexual abuse.  Transgender issues.  It’s very rare though, to see someone talking about issues surrounding being plus sized.  Sure there’s plenty of discussion of self esteem and how it’s healthy to masturbate, but how often do you see suggestions on sex toys that are easier for larger women to use?  How often do you see suggestions on sex positions that are easier for plus sized people to get into?

Personally, I’ve only seen one book where plus sizes were addressed and the only suggestions on toys for plus sized women was a post written by me quite some time ago.  So, in the interest of promoting awesome masturbation for us plus sized girls, here’s a couple of my favorite toys, and some tips for us plus sized women!

Evolved Bendable You Too —  While this vibrator, unfortunately, doesn’t have Evolved’s standard rockin’ tins to keep it in, it’s bendy nature and lengthy size make it great for reaching hard to reach places!  It’s almost 9″ long, so when you have it elongated and not bent it can easily reach around extra flesh, it can easily fit inside thick labia and can help you reach if you’re unable to reach your fingers or hands down there.  Plus, with how bendable it is you can easily shape it exactly how you want and need it.  Not to mention the long cord for the power pack, so you don’t have to worry too much about where it is or how far away it is.

Share Dildo — Now, yes.  The intended purpose of this dildo is to be inserted into one female, and then that female has sex with someone else using the dildo as it’s inserted into her vagina.  However.  Look at the size and shape of this baby! That short end makes a perfect handle!  So it’s super easy for you to lay back, hold onto it and it’s size and length makes it easy to reach around extra flesh and still make it into your vagina so you can pleasure yourself.

TIPS:

Position aids, like the Liberator Wedge are really a girls best friend.  First off then can help you (anybody really) get into positions that may otherwise be difficult to achieve.  One thing though, to try, is if you’re in doggy style slap a pillow two under your belly. This will help to not only give your upper body some support so your arms dont’ have to take all the weight but also it can help give your stomach support so it’s not all pulling on your back.

If you want to have a leg or two in the air try laying on the couch and putting one up on the back of the couch.  By hooking a foot up there you can have a leg up without having to hold it up yourself or have your partner hold it for you.  That way you either don’t have to worry about that, or you and/or your partner can hold your other leg up and you can have the variety of position with a leg or two up.  This position sort of mimics doggy style and also makes it easier to achieve g-spot stimulation.

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Do you have any tips for plus sized people wanting to masturbate and have sex?  Or, are you plus sized and would like tips?  Please, leave a comment!!