The economy’s in a shambles, people are getting laid off, everyone is rushing around to finish their holiday shopping with too few dollars… and it’s raining. Or possibly snowing, depending on your location. Either way, things are bleak.

But you’ll be happy to know that 130,000 missing inflatable boobs have been found, a mere 900 kilometers from their intended location.

This, and several other odd news bits, turned up on the Web this week. And because we all need a laugh (probably even more than we need a little Christmas right now), your resident blogger decided she’d share the best, most silly sex-related stories on the Web right now. (In no one’s opinion but Ms. Sweet’s, of course).

1.    The now-famous shipment of inflatable plastic breasts from China, part of a promotional giveaway for Ralph, an Australian men’s magazine, was found sitting in a port in Melbourne. The novelty items were expected to arrive in Sydney last week, but a paperwork error resulted in a Snafu. Ralph workers are now rushing to stuff the boobs in bags to go out with the December 15 issue of the magazine. The shipping error cost the magazine $30,000 but, according to an article on WAToday.com, the publication will still have the world’s record for the most boobs given away at one time, so all is not lost.

2.    Obviously, we are all for masturbation here at Vibrator.com, but there are just some things you can’t really give yourself in a relationship (or so we thought). This oddly seductive viral implores you: “’Til Death Do You Part - Marry Yourself.” You can’t make this up, and nothing I say could make this any stranger, so click here and see for yourself.

3.    My fellow Vibrator.com blogger Rick sent me a link to Natural Harvest - A Collection of Semen-Based  Recipes. And here I settled for an egg white omelette for breakfast.

I confess: I’m not sure if the book, and the ensuing comments, are a joke or not, but Lulu is a vanity press so anything is possible.  If you’ve been following this blog for a while, you know Desiree Sweet is the biggest fan of oral sex you can find, but I think I’ll continue to get my daily allowance of protein from a nice, big, juicy… steak, thank you very much.

How about you? Seen anything new and newsworthy that left you scratching your head lately?

A study published in the New England Journal of Medicine shows that a testosterone patch, marketed by Proctor & Gamble Pharmaceuticals under the name Intrinsa, can enhance the sex drives of postmenopausal women. The patch is placed on the abdomen like the birth control patch and changed twice a week.

Participants in the study wore a patch that released either 300 micrograms of testosterone a day, a patch that released 150 micrograms, or a placebo patch. Women wearing the 300 microgram patch reported an average increase in their “satisfying sexual experiences” of 2.1 times every four weeks. Researchers called the improvement “modest but significant.”

The study was funded by the manufacturer of the patch, following the FDA’s denial of approval for use of the patch in the U.S. in 2004. The FDA cited a lack of long-term safety data as the reason for denial, and the results of the study indicate that further research is still required.

While one of the minor side effects of the hormone therapy—unwanted hair growth—did not bother any of the test subjects enough for them to discontinue use of the patch, a potential, if tenuous, link to breast cancer is more disturbing.

During the study, four out of 814 women receiving either 150 microgram or 300 microgram doses of the hormone were diagnosed with breast cancer, compared to no women in the placebo group. In an article posted on Health.com, Lead Researcher Susan R. Davis, MD, PhD, of Monash University in Australia, called it a “chance finding” that four women in the treatment groups were diagnosed with breast cancer, noting that four breast cancer diagnoses among 814 women during a two-year period is “not unexpected.”

Nevertheless, it seems like a dangerous chance to take for a drug that yields only modest improvements to a woman’s libido.

Not to minimize the impact that menopause and a lack of estrogen can have on a woman’s sex drive, but I’d urge women to investigate more natural methods to boost their libido first, keeping in mind that the most powerful sex organ is the brain. This may be even more true for women than for men; fantasy alone can be a powerful aphrodisiac, as can sexy lingerie, the right mood, and (of course) the right lover’s touch.  Lack of lubrication is a true physical symptom in postmenopausal women, but there are plenty of safe lubricants available to solve that stumbling block.

Even if Intrinsa does become available as a “viagra for women,” satisfactory long-term safety trials could mean five years or more before the patch finds its way to a drugstore near you. And if the drug alone yields a marginal improvement in the sex lives of postmenopausal women, combining it with natural mood enhancers should raise the bar for amazing sex well into a woman’s golden years.

Guess it wasn’t a scam.

Natalie Dylan’s virginity auction is still going strong, according to a report on the Web site Scandalist. In this post, we reported on the 22-year-old co-ed selling her virginity. Howard Stern gave her a plug on his radio show, and Dennis Hof, owner of the famed Bunny Ranch, promoted the event through the Bunny Ranch Web site. The act will take place on his ranch, too, where Dylan’s sister also works to pay off college debts.
The bids, so far, have reached $3.8 million. With that kind of money, the aspiring counselor–Dylan is going for a Masters in Family and Marriage Therapy–will be able to afford a whole lotta letters after her name!

My search for updates on Dylan’s entrepreneurial venture lead me to tons of celebrity sex gossip. So what else is going on in the world of sex and starlets? And where are some of the best places to find out? In the interests of pure, unadulterated guilty pleasure, we bring you a very short list of top celebrity sex sites and the most fascinating stories of the hour – in no one’s opinion but our own.

My first pick, www.tmz.com has the latest-breaking news and plenty of video to keep you stimulated. Top story? It has nothing to do with sex (yes, there’s a Britney Spears story having nothing to do with sex, drugs or debauchery), but the stage at Dodger Stadium, where Spears, Justin Timberlake and Madonna are slated to perform nearly collapsed prior to the show. Now that’s an epic fail!

Bloggers at www.thehollywoodgossip.com have a wry wit that’s fun to read, whatever the topic. I’m interested to see the results of their poll: “What’s your favorite celebrity sex tape?”

The newly revamped RadarOnline, now under the ownership of AMI, recently received a scathing review from the Huffington Post but I beg to differ. With up-to-date news, smart, concise writing and a clean, professional layout, Radar is poised to become one of the top sources for “pop, politics, scandal and style.”
And in case you were wondering, former child star Danny Bonaduce’s marriage is over. Okay… so maybe not all of the site’s reporting is cutting edge.

The World Wide Web is a big place, of course, and there are virtually thousands (or is that millions?) of gossip sites, professional and otherwise. ‘Fess up. What’s your favorite site for celebrity and sex news?

And so it goes, again…

Thousands of gay and lesbian couples in California celebrated this past June when the state’s Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage, as reported here.

But November 4 saw Proposition 8, an amendment that overturns the Supreme Court’s decision, pass, with 52 percent of California voters supporting the ban on gay marriage.

The proposition was backed by a tremendous grassroots campaign, Yes on Proposition 8. According to the organization’s Web site, the group raised more than $40 million from more than 70,000 contributors and garnered the active support of 100,000-plus volunteers.

Some media voices attribute Proposition 8’s success to the large number of African-American voters who turned out to support Obama. In an editorial, the Los Angeles Times hypothesized that “many African Americans, who tend to have strong ties to their churches, believe that same-sex marriage is immoral.” This group therefore voted for Prop 8.

Need I point out the irony of a demographic of people largely conservative in their social views voting to elect a liberal Democrat president? Or that such a notoriously Blue state as California pass such a conservative proposition?

The LA Times editorial also astutely pointed out that the “No on 8” side never countered the Yes on 8 group’s marketing efforts with its own effective campaign.

Several celebrities, however, did stand up against the proposition. Ellen DeGeneres, who was one of 1,500 people married in a June ceremony, even paid for Public Service Announcements to air on television. On her official blog, she commented on the election of Barack Obama and the Prop 8 results: “Here we just had a giant step toward equality and then on the very next day, we took a giant step away.”

It’s true… As civil rights took a step forward with the election of a black President, it took a step backward when it comes to equality for all.

The good news, according to the LA Times report? In 2001, 61 percent voted down same-sex marriage. This year, the proposition passed by just over half. Baby steps.

As Hollywood execs ponder a television career for Sarah Palin after she leaves politics, Hustler founder Larry Flynt is one step ahead of them—sort of.

Capitalizing on Palin’s “love her or hate her” popularity of the minute, Hustler has produced a DVD porn parody starring Triple X starlet Lisa Ann as the VP candidate. The movie explores Palin’s platform on foreign affairs—that is, she hooks up with two Russian dudes. Babble.com posted a sneak preview of the flick.

Buzz began about the video when a “major adult studio” in Los Angeles placed an ad on Craigslist seeking one lucky MILF to star as Palin in a XXX film. The ad specified “no anal required,” just in case you were wondering, although later reports mentioned the Russians coming in the back door.

The ad prompted the clever folks at Videogum to ask their readers to “Name the Upcoming Sarah Palin Porno”, because every good porno (and even the bad ones, I guess) needs a cool, catchy, and pun-ny title. Bloggers and readers everywhere piped in with their top picks. Everything using some version of Im-palin has been taken, so don’t even bother. Some of the more creative suggestions?

“Raising McCain”;

The subtitle makes this one: “Impalin’ Palin 2: Journey Into The Alaskan Pipeline”;

For an international flavor with a hot Asian co-star: “Erection Day 2008”;

Two of my personal favorites: “2^nd in Charge Likes ‘Em LARGE,” and “Specs Appeal: Oral Office Edition”;

And yes, several people came up with a variation on the eventual winner, “Nailin’ Palin.”

While you’re waiting anxiously for the actual vid, TMZ posted a copy of the entire script of  “Who’s Nailin Paylin: Adventures of a Hockey MILF”. Sex expert Nina Hartley reportedly will star as Hillary Clinton and engage in a three-way with Lisa Ann and a Condoleeza Rice look-alike.

Is anyone else just really excited for November 4 to be here and gone?

A statistic that really surprised me the other day is that 1 in 2000 babies born have “indistinguisable genitalia” at birth.   XXY and XYY children are born daily, and the majority of these children have their post-operative gender decided by their parents long before their bodies suggest which sex they more closely identify with.  The UK has recently recommended to doctors and families not to perform gender assignment surgeries on children, yet legally it is still a parent’s decision to do so.  In other cultures, it is still a decision of the state.

Recent history of the past few hundred years had either ignored, alienated, or persecuted intersex people - based generally on a lack of understanding.  But lest we forget our ancient history, when our differences were reverred.  The Greek God, Hermaphroditus, was the god of hermaphrodites and of effeminate men. Hermaphroditos was a son of Hermes and Aphrodite, the gods of male and female sexuality.

Some say he was once a handsome youth who attracted the love of a Naiad nymph named Salmakis. She prayed to to be united with him forever and a god, in answer to her prayer, merged their two forms into one. At the same time her spring acquired the property of making men who bathed in its waters soft and effeminate.

Both modern Christianity and Islam have references to hermaphroditic angels, as well.  However, devout and orthodox members of these religions would have you believe that God will only recognize marriage as between a man and a woman - when gender is clearly not that black and white.  In the US alone (from the statistics above) 175,000 people would identify as intersex.  It’s high time we appreciate each other for our differences and stop using ignorance, confusion, and religion as pulpits for hate.

The video above is from Current.com and documents Adele’s 30 year journey to the crossroads of courage and realization.  I hope you enjoy it.

“Let’s have fun with sex and stop being afraid of some freaking digital penises.”

This may be – no, it definitely is – the funniest line I’ve read all week. I won’t even try to match Neoseeker blogger Sean Ridgeley’s wit.  But I shouldn’t keep you wondering what he was talking about either, should I? I’m such a tease.

Electronic Arts, Inc. recently released the hottest new computer game phenomenon from Sims creator Will Wright. The long-awaited “Spore” permits players to create an entire universe beginning with tiny micro-organisms and evolve the world into literally billions of different life forms.  Social networking features permit your universe’s inhabitants to interact with other people’s creations.

And, surprise, surprise, what did some people immediately start to do? Use the program’s Creature Creator feature to build bizarre life forms with sexual organs as unexpected appendages.  Players then post these creatures and their interactions on YouTube for the amusement of others. A new genre, “Spornography,” has been born.

EA has announced that it will ban users who create sexually-explicit material. Some extremists have gone so far as to liken the strange animated characters to “child pornography,” because it’s accessible to anyone on the Internet and is created using an E-rated game. Will Wright, however, has told several news sources that he’s impressed by some of the creations.

To satisfy your sexual curiosity now that I’ve intrigued you with the notion of breast monsters and dancing dicks, here’s a link to The Exploding Barrel’s list of Top 10 Spornography videos.

While some Sporn spawn seems to lack any purpose other than to showcase the sophomoric imaginations of their creators, others look like they could be fairly functional with a couple of C batteries. Just imagine: the sex toy industry could take rabbits to a whole new level with the introduction of the Doc Johnson Spornography line.

Since its inception, eBay has developed some pretty stringent rules as to what items they will permit to be placed up for auction. They’ve taken some heat for banning the sale of firearms, and they don’t permit users to sell used underwear, either. But sometimes interesting sales slip through the cracks.

Recently, a scorned Australian woman sold an empty condom packet (size small, of course) and a photo of lacy underwear (size humongous) after finding them in her cheating husband’s bed. Ebay pulled the original auction, which included “the tart’s” actual black lace “knickers.”

By some accounts, bidding for the panties and condom wrapper had reached six figures. The photograph wound up selling for $303, proving that a picture may be worth a thousand words, but it’s definitely not as valuable as old underwear.

But that doesn’t beat Natalie Dylan, who is auctioning off her virginity to pay for her Master’s Degree. Her offer didn’t make it past eBay’s Terms of Service personnel, although I distinctly recall hearing of similar auctions on eBay in the past.

Dylan’s idea is not unprecedented. In 2004, lesbian Rosie Reid sold her virginity through her own Web site after eBay nixed her auction. Reid received more than $20,000, which she put toward her college education.

With the rising costs of tuition, let’s hope Dylan fares somewhat better than earning enough for just one-year at a private school. She should; she has the publicity behind her. Famed shock jock Howard Stern and Dennis Hof of the world-famous BunnyRanch brothel in Las Vegas have gotten behind the 22-year-old virgin (no, not like that!) to promote her endeavor.

Stern announced the auction on his radio show on Tuesday, September 9, and bidding is taking place through Hof’s site, BunnyRanch.com. Dylan (not her real name) says she won’t just sleep with the highest bidder, but will take bids until she finds someone she’s happy with. The deal will be sealed at the BunnyRanch, where Dylan’s sister already works.

Scam? Or capitalism at its best (and worst)? Stay tuned, as we’ll be following this story to its erotic end.

As for me? I’m off to check out college savings plans for any future daughters I may have!

The Museum of Sex in New York opened its exhibit on The Sex Lives of Animals yesterday. This “new natural history” presents nature’s uncensored story of animal sexuality extending far beyond ritualistic mating, and examining the real possibility than humans aren’t the only creatures who enjoy geting laid.

Sculptor Rune Olsen brings the exhibit to life with startling and beautiful displays of members of the animal kingdom in full coitus. “Deer Threesome” is a marvel!

A host of scientists, academics and experts are on the board of advisory for this exhibit, so you know it ain’t just hardcore animal porn. And even if it is, they’ve legitimized it by signing on.

If you haven’t been to The Museum of Sex, there’s no better time. The Sex Lives of Animals is open from July 24, 2008 through Spring 2009. More information can be found on The Museum of Sex Website. Sorry, no pets allowed!

Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It” is more than just a catchy pop tune. It seems to be a trend in society. Are there more bi-curious women out there now, or are we just getting more comfortable and open about our sexuality? Is this the new age of free love, a much more innocent free love? (After all, it’s just kissing!)

A friend once presented to me the theory that all human beings have a little bit of bisexuality in them. You can choose to squelch it or embrace it. Have bi-curious buddies been exploring each other in dark corners for years, just not talking about it? Or is Perry’s song, and the prevalence of casual girl-on-girl hook-ups in the media actually giving women ideas to try something they’d scarcely considered before?

Admittedly, many women who hook up with other women – I’m not talking about lesbians or true bisexuals, but straight women, often in relationships with men – do it for attention from the opposite sex. There’s not much that will get a guy hotter than watching his girlfriend and her best friend hook up, even if it’s just for a lengthy wet kiss.

But c’mon girls, let’s think of ourselves and our own needs, too. There’s definitely an attraction to women. Girls are cute. We’re cuddly, our lips are soft and, as a general rule, we smell better than men. Add flavored lip gloss – or chapstick — to the mix and we taste better, too!

There’s the whole novelty of a completely new and different partner, and the added excitement of doing something still considered taboo. There’s also something to like about a safe, friendly, no-strings-attached hook-up between two otherwise straight women. It’s less complicated when there are no expectations. Clearly, you won’t date. You’re both straight. It doesn’t matter if she calls you in the morning. Or if you ever see her again, even.

If you decide to hook up with a friend, be careful. The same complications exist as two friends of opposite genders hooking up, to a degree. Of course, again, there’s no expectation of a long-term relationship, but it can get weird if you let it. Best to kiss and forget it. Do not over-analyze the situation on the phone the next day, and don’t go into your next get-together with any expectations. If you both enjoyed it, chances are it will happen again. Kissing, and anything else that may follow a sexy kiss, is fun!

All this, of course, does beg the question: how many straight women are doing more than just kissing? And when will we hear that song on the radio?

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