Tips for Taking Care of Your Sex Toys

Afterglow Sex Toy Cleaning Wipes

Especially with how expensive sex toys can get, it’s important to take care of them.  With as much work as we put some of our toys through, and considering the sensitive places where we use those toys, we really need to work at keeping them in tip top shape.  As such, it’s important to take care of your toys; to keep them clean and store them properly between uses.

The first step in taking care of your sex toys is to keep them clean.  There are many varieties of antibacterial toy cleaners which you can use to clean any type of sex toy before and after use.  It’s important to clean toy before use, as well as after.  Before use, it’s important because the toys can collect lint, dust and other stuff that floats around in the air.  Even just rinsing the toy off first works, as we don’t want that lint and other stuff to get in our parts.  I like to use antibacterial toy wipes before I use my toys as the bathroom is very out of the way and many of many favorite toys are in my bedroom.

For cleaning after sex, it’s important to clean in all the crevices and dips you can find in toys, as fluids can get in there and then dry, which can lead to a lot of bacterial growth.  It’s important to use body safe soap as well as hot water.  For glass, pure silicone and other heat resistant toys without motors you can boil them.  5-10 minutes, depending on the size of the toy and how many you’re cleaning works just fine.  Also, a 10% bleach solution (so 1 part bleach to 10 parts water) works well also, so long as you ensure to rinse the toy completely.

It’s important to remember that unless your toy is completely non-porous, such as 100% silicone, metal or glass, your toy will never be wholly clean, as bodily fluids will get into the tiny pores and you won’t be able to clean them out.  As such, it’s always in your best interest to get totally non-porous sex toys.  Also, when it comes to toys used anally or shard, it’s imperative to get non-porous toys and then fully sterilize them before sharing or use again.  And never, ever take a sex toy from the anus to the vagina without fully sterilizing it first, or using condoms.

As for storing your toys, many toys cannot touch, or else there could be a reaction between the materials they’re made out of, which can ruin your toys.  The safest rule of thumb is to simply just store your toys so none of them touch.  Glass toys, wood or metal toys and ceramic toys are safe to touch each other and toys of the same material.  Plastics, jelly toys and silicone toys really shouldn’t touch each other or toys of the same material as a chemical reaction could occur which would damage the toys.

What I do is I keep each toy wrapped in cloth.  Sometimes I use the same piece of cloth, I just ensure that there is a couple folds of cloth between them.  Also, you can simply use the package that the toy came in, if it came in anything substantial.    Sometimes this is the best way to go, especially if the packaging is awesome and substantial, such as with Evolved toys.

Lastly for storage, it’s important to ensure your toys are safe.  Last thing you want is for them to get broken by accidentally being stepped on, or sliding off of a shelf.

So, the long and short of it is; take care of your sex toys. You spend your hard earned money on them, and you insert them into your bits and use them on your parts.  The better you take care of them, the longer they’ll last and the more you’ll be able to use them.

A breakdown of sex toys.

There’s a lot of different kinds of sex toys out there.  So I thought I’d break some of it down for you, to help separate some of the toys, what they are, what they’re typically used for, and how they’re used.

The Dildo

Perhaps the most recognizable sex toy, the dildo has been around for longer than many people realize.  Dildos come in shapes from realistic (meaning it looks very much like a real penis, typically uncircumcised) to unrealistic, possibly looking like a rose or some other, non-penile shape.

Dildos are typically used for vaginal penetration, though some are also able to be used for anal penetration.  For safety purposes, only use dildos with a flared base and that are also non-porous (so that they may be sterilized) for anal penetration.

Typically non-intimidating, a dildo is often the first sex toy a woman will purchase.  They are simple to use, don’t usually require batteries and come in a wide variety of sizes, colors and shapes.

The Vibrator

Vibrators really are more than a dildo that vibrates. For the most part, vibrating dildos are simply dildos that have a slot for a small vibrator (typically a bullet.)  They are typically realistic in shape and made of a soft material.  Actual vibrators, on the other hand, are made around the motor and vibrator, meaning that the vibrator is not removable.

Vibrators come in endless colors, shapes and sizes, as well as types.  From rabbits to g-spot vibrators to clitoral vibrators there is a vibrator made for any purpose.  As they sound, g-spot vibrators are made with a “hook” or nub at the end of it, to help the user reach and then stimulate the g-spot.  The clitoral vibrators are round and thin, without much substantial size so that one may target the clitoris.  Many clitoral vibrators can sit snugly between the labia.  Rabbits have a shaft for internal vaginal stimulation as well as a clitoral stimulator, so that both areas may be stimulated simultaneously.

Typically run on batteries, many sex toy companies are getting on the green bandwagon and making their sex toys rechargeable.

Vaginal Balls

Vaginal balls are small, body safe balls that typically are hollow, with another weighted ball inside of them.  Most vaginal balls are two balls, connected by a string with another retrieval string at the end of one of the balls.   A few are single balls with a retrieval string, and also you can find some which have no retrieval string, that you remove by simply using your pc muscles.  Some, like the Luna Balls offer a couple different options, working with one or two balls of different weights.

Vaginal balls are excellent for women who have had children and/or who are experiencing difficult controlling their bladder.  The reason for this is that doing regular exercises with vaginal balls (or kegel exercises without the balls) most certainly help strengthen the pc muscles.  This will increase your continence and there are many instances where this increased muscle control will also increase the pleasure you receive during sex.

The vaginal balls strengthen muscles by you holding them in.  They are weighted, so you squeeze your muscles around the balls, holding them inside your vagina.  By squeezing your muscles, holding the balls in, then releasing your muscles you exercise the muscles just like you exercise any other body part.

Anal Plug

Anal plugs are anal safe sex toys that get inserted into the rectum and then kept there.  They come in several materials, from silicone which is best for beginners as it gives, to steel which is more advanced, as there’s no give to it. Typically they do not vibrate and simply sit there.  While this may seem unexciting, there are many good reasons to use anal plugs.

First, you can work your way up from small plugs to larger ones to get your bottom used to having something larger in there.  This is a great thing to do if you wish to experiment with anal sex at some point in time.  Secondly, it can simply be enjoyable for the different sensations having something in your bottom can give.  Thirdly, using an anal plug is an awesome way to experience double penetration for women; having something both in your butt and vagina.

Anal plugs are great because you can wear them for long periods of time.  You can put an anal plug in then go do your errands!  This is a lovely and erotic way to spend some time during your day as no one else will know you’ve stuck something in your bum!  This can be a naughty secret between you and your lover, or something only you know.

Anal Probe

Basically, anal probes are anal vibrators.  They come in many shapes and sizes and are made specifically for anal use.  It’s always important to ensure that they’re non-porous so you can fully clean and sterilize them as well as ensure there’s a large flared handle so that it won’t get stuck up there; you can’t push things out of your bottom the same way a woman can push something out of her vagina.

Many anal probes are made specifically for men and thus are designed to simulate the prostate.  This is a wonderful and healthy thing for men to do as it can give a unique orgasm all of it’s own; it also does not, in any way, mean someone is bi or homosexual.

Anal Beads

Anal beads are sort of like anal plugs, but they are smaller and longer.  Anal beads are  an excellent thing to start with if you’re a beginner to anal play.  They have several beads or bumps on a body safe string or piece of silicone.  You can pop one in then after a few seconds of acclimation go ahead and put in the next one, which is a tad bit bigger.  You can then keep going (each bead/bump is a tad bit bigger than the one before) until you’ve inserted them all, or until you’ve reached the largest one you wish to use.

Also similar to anal plugs, these can be worn for extended periods of time while you are having sex, doing chores or running errands.  Anal beads are wonderful to have in while having sex.  You can experience double penetration, but also, typically, the man can feel the beads on his penis through the vaginal/anal wall which will give him unique sensations and increase the uniqueness and pleasure during sex.

Just how important is sex anyway? And why?

Something that I’ve been thinking a lot about lately is just how important to me, is having sex, anyway.  And I believe that there certainly is a level of importance to having a happy, healthy, satisfying sex life.  I’ve always been curious though, what it is about sex that makes it so important.  Is it the orgasms?  Sure they can be different, however, you can get orgasms through masturbation.

I think a lot of it has to do with feeling desired.  Our sense of how desirable we are is very wrapped up in whether or not someone will have sex with us.  Regardless if that is “right” or not, but it certainly makes sense.  However, our sense of being desired is so very tied up with our self worth that it can really negatively affect us.

There is also the sheer pleasure of it.  Sex is supposed to feel good, and for the most part it really does feel damn good!  I mean…orgasms are heavenly, building up to the orgasm is heavenly!  It’s all just wonderful and yummy and good feeling!!

Since we’ve gotten a mattress (just a couple days ago) we’ve had sex every day except one (it was over 100 degrees that day and we don’t have an air conditioner; it was just too damn hot to have sex).  And it’s been wonderful.  We have been happier, less stressed out and I’ve noticed these things in other aspects of life; working, just hanging out at home, and in our personal interactions.  We’ve been less cranky and feeling “looser” and more easy going, if not even simply more positive about everything.

For me, I have discovered that sex is important to me, emotional closeness aside, is stress relief.   For us, a good part of the reason we could have sex as much as we wanted to was due to not having a bed; with his bad knees and both of us having bad backs it’s difficult to have sex on the floor, and with the not-really-a-bed we’d been sleeping on we were relegated to only doggy style.  So being stuck with only one position plus the stress we’d been under .. no matter how much we wanted to .. well, we didn’t want to.

Now that we can choose what position(s) we use sex is more fun again.  We’ve already tried a new position that I absolutely love!  And added to that we can cuddle much more easily in bed again (when we’re not too hot to even hold hands).  I’m feeling closer to my boyfriend again, which is wonderful.  I think the problem for us was having the choice taken away from us.

So… as for how important sex is to me…I think it’s less that ensuring I have sex x-amount of times and more that I am able to express my sexuality when I need to in the ways I need and want to.

I’m loving sex again and am already looking forward to my boyfriend being home tonight; it’s cooled off again and I’m considering dressing up and being in something sexy for when he gets home from work.  Teehee….

How important is sex to you?  And why?

PDA, How Much Is Too Much?

Too much? Just right? Could do more? Whats your opinion?

One thing I hate is watching people make out in public.  To me it’s distasteful and especially when there’s children around I feel it’s very inappropriate.  In the end, it’s really a personal and moral opinion/decision, that’s mine.

Now don’t get me wrong; I frequently hold my boyfriends hand while we’re in a store, or walking or whatever.  We’ll kiss once and a while, maybe while waiting in line somewhere or just when the mood takes us.  However the thing to remember is that it’s just a small, short kiss.  Press-lips-together-then-pull-apart-with-a-smacking-sound type kiss.  Not a 60 second spit-swapping episode.

I love showing affection to my boyfriend, even if it’s just a cursory brush of my hand across his ass.  I’ve been known to give it a good grab while in a store as well; if the aisle or immediately surrounding area is empty.  I suppose part of it is a tad of possession; he’s mine dammit!  At least that’s the feeling he says he gets from me frequently when I do it, especially if the store is busy and full.  But I certainly don’t grab his dick or shove my tongue down his throat.

For me, seeing two people playing tonsil hockey, or trying to crawl into each other’s clothes, or having their hand down their partner’s pants or up their skirt, while in a fully public place is disgusting.  If I want to see that, I’ll watch porn.  *Now* YES. I can and always do look away.  However, there can be children around seeing it or those who don’t know to look away (think those who are mentally challenged).  They could easily try to replicate what they saw, thinking that it’s normal behavior and not know any better.

This really is such a touchy subject and it’s difficult to fully express one’s feelings on it and not sound like a prude or pro-censorship, as I’m neither.  I just feel that there’s a time and place for all things and the supermarket is not the place for a make-out session or some dry humping.

If you are like me and do enjoy some public fun though; there’s plenty of places to go where you can be away from view or even in a place where it’s acceptable to do things like that!  Think an adult party, an orgy or hell, even a restroom at the park or in a tent at a camp ground.  You’re still in public, for most of those places you need to be quiet and you can still get fresh with each other without having children see.  And hopefully you won’t be arrested for lewd and lascivious behavior.

Thing is, while yes, we have a right to behave according to our own lifestyle, we still do affect others, especially while in public, and we need to take that into account.

This is my own personal opinion about the subject and we each have a right to have our own opinion.  What’s yours about public displays of affection?? Do you not have any problem with those who are basically making out in the cereal aisle? I truly can see where someone wouldn’t have a problem though I think a secluded area in a woodsy park is a better place for that.

When the unthinkable happens….

….and you fart during sex…what do you do?  Well, if I’ve farted during sex I tend to ignore it.  Especially if we’re not in doggy style.  Granted if my boyfriend is giving me oral sex then I will warn him and have him move.  Farting on his face is just… well, yea.  Rude.  Icky.  Heck, there’s been a time or two where I’ve had to shout “stop stop stop!!” and get up and hurridly run to the bathroom so I could pee.

I’ve burped during sex, moaned out the wrong words (“don’t move” as opposed to “don’t stop”), been so over-sensitive that every movement tickled, been unable to stop laughing, farted, slipped and fallen, … well, you get the picture.  My boyfriend has had similar things happen, he’ll have to pee, or slip out, get a muscle spasm, or not be able to hold his erection no matter how much he wants to.

The thing to remember is that stuff like this is going to happen.  No matter who you are, how careful you are, how prepared for sex you are, or anything like that, it’s going to happen.  You *will* fart during sex, the penis (or toy) *will* pop out at some point (just check porn! It happens all the time!), maybe you will fall out of bed or some other random, embarrassing thing.  It *will* happen, you will laugh, get embarrassed, nervous, maybe not even be able to finish.

Really, you just have to accept it and go with the flow.  Your partner will understand, really, they will.  And if they don’t that’s their own problem, not yours.  Things like this are things you can laugh about later.  They can create unique, special memories just for you and your lover.  So instead of worrying what they think about it, getting embarrassed and withdrawing or other things like that… just go with it!  Make the joke out of it that it is, just don’t laugh *at* anyone, laugh *with* them.

Tips For Buying Sex Toys Online

Buying sex toys in a brick and mortar store does have a couple upsides in that you can actually pick up the toy, feel it, and see the size of it with it right there in your hand.  Granted it’s in it’s package, but it’s still a lot easier to make a decision on what to purchase by touching it, feeling it’s weight, seeing it in your hand and so forth.  However, you also have to stand in that store with other people shopping there as well, seeing what you’re purchasing, you have to see what they’re purchasing and so on and so forth.

The main con with buying sex toys online is not being able to feel the toy; check out the severity of any ribbing or texture, have a more realistic vision of what the size is really like.  However online stores like Vibrator.com have a much larger inventory than brick and mortar stores, which gives you the ability to choose the toy that you really want and you invariably get a much better price, despite often having to pay for shipping.

I much prefer shopping for my adult items online, for many reasons.  You get better prices and have a much wider selection so I can really look through everything and find exactly what I’m looking for.  Plus, I can read reviews of the item(s) and get other’s takes on it; is it well made, how’s the texture, is it bigger than it seems like it is, and so forth.  Also, I love the availability of kits online can let you get all the things you’d need for something, such as romancing your partner or beginning anal sex, at a reduced price.

The biggest tip that I can give when shopping online for sex toys is to pay attention to the details given, for the item.  Is it waterproof?  What’s the texture like and what’s the material?  If it’s silicone do you have a water based lubricant?  What’s the size of it?  Grab a tape measure if you have to so you can get a better idea.  2 1/2″ thick doesn’t sound like much, but it’s more than one would think it is.

The second most important tip I can give is to read sex toy reviews.  There are two main types of reviews out there; the short ones you see on the toy’s page on the sex toy site, and the other are the longer reviews put out by dedicated sex toy reviewers such as this one.

So in other words…Viva La Online Sex Toy Shopping!!

What do you think of shopping online versus brick and mortar stores?

You don’t need sex toys.

So frequently over the years I’ve heard things like “You have a boyfriend; you don’t need a vibrator!”  Or “If you use vibrators you’ll get addicted to them and won’t be able to orgasm with a real man!” and other similar things.  Hell, I have never believed those things but when I went to purchase a couple vibrators because I desired to masturbate (this was a few years after my first dildo experience ) I did find it difficult; despite having made the decision and having recently become single.  Hell, the “true” reason (the one I don’t often admit to) that I bought the vibrators was because I wanted to make my recently-having-left-me-now-ex-husband jealous.  It was a sort of “Ha!  You know how I feel about sex toys and look what you made me do!!!” thing.  However…. it turns out that I love masturbating!

The thing is; no.  You don’t *need* sex toys.  However, they don’t do anything bad either.  You do not get “addicted to them”, they’re not cheating (as you’re having sexual relations with yourself, not someone else) and if you shop smart they’re not terribly expensive either.  Sometimes though, sex toys can really come in handy.

For one, they can give you sensations that another body cannot; such as vibrations or different sizes.  My favorite use is multiple stimulations.  Plus they can also help for achieving different positions; sex toys aren’t exclusively dildos and vibrators! They are also position masters and adult movies and so much more.  Especially if you have medical conditions that restrict/limit movement or want to try out something new.  I especially like instructional dvd’s .

What do you especially like??

NEW Contest: Show Us How You Do It!

THE CONTEST

We have a new contest!  We will be having three winners again!  So here’s the prize breakdown:

GRAND PRIZE — $65 gift card for Vibrator.com

1st RUNNER UP — ToyGasms plus a $20 gift card for Vibrator.com

2nd RUNNER UP — Wet

QUALIFY

In order to enter this contest you need to be at least age of consent (so 18 in most places, 21 in others) and live in the United States or Canada. You can only enter once, and you must enter by May 30th, 12midnight Pacific Time.

THE WINNERS

I will be choosing 3 winners; one grand prize and 2 runner’s up. I’ll send you an email (the subject line will say “You’re a winner!”) and so long as you reply to me within 48 hours you get your prize! (after 48 hours another winner will be chosen)

HOW TO WIN

How do you win you ask? Well I shall tell you! This is a *video contest* Yup. Video contest. A few things first:

1. You *do not* need to show your face.  Do it from the neck down, have a scarf or mask over your face, whatever works.  You can keep your anonymity if you need or want to.
2. This is *not porn*.  We do not want nudity.
3. Though this *is* adult so please keep it mature with words like “penis” and “vagina.”  And don’t be afraid to talk about lube, squirting, orgasms and so forth.
4. BE CREATIVE!!!  Have music, dance around, do whatever to get your point across!  Just don’t get naked and actually use the toy.
5. Keep it between 1 1/2 – 3 minutes.

Wait!  What’s that?  I still haven’t said what’s in the video?  Well, here you go!

Show us your favorite sex toy, and how you like to use it.  This could be a dildo, a vibrator, vaginal balls, a masturbator or whatever sex toy or toys you like to use.  In whatever creative way you wish, using music, dancing, miming, or whatever, show us (with your close on and not actually using the toy) and describe to us how you like to use it.

*If you like to use more than one sex toy, make sure you choose a combination that you use together, rather than one toy after the other.  So they must be used simultaneously.*

As an example, here’s what I would say if I were making a video for this contest:

“I like to lay on my couch with a porn going in the back ground.  I would put my one leg up, like this, for ease of access to my vagina and clitoris.  Then, I would lube up the Tantus Deuce and slide it into my vagina. Once I became comfortable with it inserted and had used it for a little bit I’d take the Onye Fleur and begin stimulating my clitoris.”

One way you can think of this is like a sort of video review.  However, focus more on not only the use of the toy, but also be silly and creative!  For example:

“I love icicles #21 so much, and it’s so beautiful, that once I’m done using it I set it on a shelf so I can use it as decoration!”

Your final steps will be to upload the video to Youtube, and then come back here (here’s where you really need to pay attention) you need to log into our blog and actually put up your own post! It’s WordPress based, so after you embed your video into the blog post you’ll need to do 2 things.

1. Put a description in the post!  Write a bit in here about why you like that toy so much and add anything else you think we’ll like!  (but be reasonable LOL)
2. Click “submit for review”.  It’ll be where “submit” usually is.

Remember you need to do these last 2 things or your submission won’t be counted!!

My first dildo

So, I was 27 before I really was comfortable using sex toys.  However I bought my first sex toy when I was 20.  Knowing nothing about sex toys I just chose one that looked like it was a good size and it was a pretty purple color.  It was just a simple jelly dildo, probably cost me less than $10.  I think I bought it more to be able to say that I had one, rather than because I really wanted to use one.

The thing is; I never actually used it.  I was always nervous, almost embarrassed to use it.  I would get really, really horny, and take it out and look at it, but wouldn’t use it.  Eventually I’d insert it maybe once, and then start feeling things I’d never felt before, both physically and emotionally, and I’d get scared so I wouldn’t use it anymore.

Now by that time I had been sexually active, previously.  So I had experienced vaginal penetration by a couple different sized and shaped penises.  So it wasn’t the size and/or shape that threw me off.  I think it was that I was … well, penetrating myself.  While interpreting my feelings so long after the fact I think I felt like I shouldn’t have to masturbate, I never had a shortage of partners so it wasn’t like I wasn’t getting any.

Growing up in the upper Midwest things like sex toys, masturbation, kink and all that were very taboo and hush-hush.  There was something “wrong” with you if you masturbated or wanted unusual things.  It is entirely possible that part of my nervousness with using the dildo came with the fact that the only adult store in my home town was very run down, dark, dank and shabby.  The place that even during the day I wouldn’t ever go into alone.  Granted it’s cleaned up now, when you buy something in a place that’s that creepy the experience leaves it’s mark.

In the end I got rid of the toy; I never really used it.  And I certainly didn’t finger myself.  It wasn’t until a few years later when my husband left me that I got a couple vibrators and actually used them from time to time.  And now I’m an avid sex toy reviewer with bins overflowing with toys!

So, share with us your first experience(s) with a sex toy!  Were you all over it, or nervous like I was?

Photo by: The Chanel ( Sepia Dildos)

Phone Sex, Anyone?

Your partner is out of town on a long assignment. Maybe it’s been a long week and all you really want is to be together. There is a way. A lot of people have never considered phone sex an option, but perhaps they should. A well planned encounter can be powerful foreplay, guaranteeing a passionate reunion. Before you start dialing consider some of the following points.

Be Comfortable
Comfort is different for each person. Personally, I prefer to be freshly showered, shaved, and lotioned because it makes me feel sexy. I wear night gowns because I don’t want to bother with the awkwardness of removing my pants in the heat of the moment. Phone sex is as much mental as it is physical, so it’s important that you can really relax. So being comfortable is the first step.

Eliminate Distractions
If your sweetie were home, you’d turn off the TV and put the cell phones away. Phone sex is no exception. You certainly don’t want to be distracted while talking with your partner. Then be sure to allow yourself plenty of time to enjoy the experience. In some ways phone sex can take longer because you are talking through things that you wouldn’t normally need to verbalize. Also consider the lighting. Try a small lamp or candles instead of harsh overhead lighting. Go ahead and gather anything you will need (toys, lube, etc.) to ensure that you won’t have to go find something once you get started.

Conversation
Generally speaking, I have found that phone sex conversation flows easier when you talk about what you ‘would like to do’ rather than what you ‘are doing’. For example, “I wish I were there. I want to trace that sensitive spot behind your ear with my tongue” is more intriguing and easier to believe than “I’m licking your neck right now.” Some people really enjoy role play, in which case you make take that approach. For many though, the former will flow a little easier. Once you’ve had this conversation and you’re mentally in the moment, someone will usually ask, “what are you doing right now?” At that point you are going to talk about what you are doing, but I still suggest staying focused on what you ‘wish’ you were doing. “I’m rubbing my clit. I wish you were here.” “I wish I were there too. I’m so hard right now. I wish I could slide into your wet pussy.” As the conversation heats up you should let your partner know exactly how you are touching yourself. The closer you come to release, the more vocal you should become about exactly what you want, exactly what you are wishing for. Let your partner know when come. That’s what you are both waiting to hear.

Ending the Call
Those first few minutes after you’ve finished can be awkward, especially since it is possible that you won’t finish at the same time. You may be feeling like you should say something, but you aren’t sure what to say. Honestly, there is no need to speak until you’ve both caught your breath. Comfortable silence can be good. If this is your partner, something like, “I love you. I can’t wait to see you again,” would be a very appropriate follow-up. Having had several casual encounters, I’ve found that keeping it lighthearted is best. Muster up your best Joey Tribbiani voice and ask, “Was it good for you?” if you want to get a laugh. You wouldn’t rush out the door immediately after sex, so try not to rush off the phone too quickly either. Don’t cut your partner off mid-sentence or hang-up. However, if the conversation was all about the sex to begin with, it’s ok to say goodnight and hang up the phone.

Cyber Sex
Cyber sex is obviously different from phone sex. I want to touch on this for a briefly because I’ve had a few pleasurable experiences with it and a few just-plain-awkward ones as well. Cyber-sex can be difficult. For starters, you’re typing. That takes both hands. This is one reason cyber-sex is more like mutually writing a good sex scene. You do tend to lean more towards present tense, and you go backand forth describing the situation and what you are “doing”. For me, I don’t generally get off from these encounters directly, but once the exchange is over I can re-read what we’ve created and get myself off then. In a perfect world phone sex and cyber sex are not substitutes for the real thing, but rather great methods of foreplay for couples who are separated for long periods of time. For singles with no current love interests though? It can also be kindling for some great self-play. So think about it, get used to the idea if you aren’t already, and give it a try!

D. Scandal: I’m just a single girl in a small town looking to keep life interesting.  I’m full of contradictions and that’s part of what makes me who I am. You can read all about my exploits and secrets at my blog Scandal in the Choir Loft.

Seven Sexy New Year’s Resolutions

It’s the first full week of the New Year. That means it’s not too late to make a New Year’s Resolution! I hope no one has actually broken any of theirs yet, unless they were the kind meant to be broken. (Like giving up sex in 2010… definitely a bad idea!)

So, dear readers, what are your New Year’s Resolutions? I’m sure we have the lion’s share of “quit smoking,” “lose weight” and (my personal favorite) “quit procrastinating.” In 2010, your resident blogger has made a resolution to keep this blog up-to-date with exciting, fun and sometimes educational content – just for you.

In that vein, here are some suggestions for New Year’s Resolutions you won’t mind keeping all year long!

1. Do something new with your lover. You can break open the Kama Sutra and play with whatever position strikes your fancy, have sex outdoors, or make a foray into BDSM. Whatever you choose, do something that is a new experience for both of you.

2. Communicate with your lover. Take time, inside the bedroom or out, to reveal your innermost fantasies. What do you love best about his techniques? What do you wish he’d do more often? Here’s a tip, ladies – long talks during car drives work well. The lack of eye contact makes your man more comfortable and it helps that he has something else to focus on while still giving you the attention you need (and deserve!)

3. Buy a new toy. Expand your bedroom repertoire with the help of a new battery-powered friend. Go for something completely different. If you’ve never used a rabbit-style vibe, I recommend the new WOW series. Want something great for anal play? The Slimline Anal Explorer is a great beginner vibe at a great price.

4. Have more sex. Who couldn’t use a little more love in their life? Make arrangements for lunchtime rendezvous, quickies before breakfast, or long Saturday evening romps through every room in your house. If you’re an “only on weekends” couple, add a weekday into the mix. If you currently have sex once a week or less, aim for two or three times, just for a month, to see how you like it.

5. Make (and keep) a weekly date night. After the hubbub of the holidays, everyone begins to settle back into their normal routine. Why not make a weekly connection with your lover part of your regular 2010 schedule? If you have kids, line up a babysitter. If not – you have less of an excuse.

Date night doesn’t have to be expensive. Order Chinese food and then give each other massages by the fireplace. Use your imagination for low-cost, stay-at-home one-on-one time or splurge with a dinner out at your favorite restaurant. You can decide who, er – what’s – for dessert.

6. Do kegels. Kegels – easy little exercises that tone the PC (Pubococcygeus) muscles have well-documented health benefits. Not only do they help prevent incontinence, they can aid in childbirth. They also help women have more intense orgasms. You can do kegels anywhere, at any time (and no one will know). You can also use ben wa balls for a more intense experience.

7. Use a condom. If you’re not in a monogamous relationship, make 2010 the year you vow to practice safe sex with every partner and use a condom. You’ll find so many fun varieties here at Vibrator.com, you can even use a different style, color or flavor every day of the year!

Paranormal Activity: Sex with Ghosts

Movies like Paranormal Activity and Blair Witch Project have caused box-office fervor in recent years. These ultra-low-budget films detail the experiences of  regular folks encountering…(cue Twilight Zone music)…ghosts!

There’s nothing X-rated going on between the ghosts and mortals in these flicks. But wouldn’t that be a unique twist? According to paranormal experts, it’s been known to happen.

Stacey G, northern Virginia paranomal investigator with over 20 years experience in dealing with all things going bump in the night, says, “Many of my clients will tell me about dreams where they believe they’ve been visited by ghosts, some resulting in sexual encounters.”

Since these encounters take place during dreams, however, with no one else present (or a partner soundly asleep beside the visited person) they’re hard to prove.

Celebrity Ghost Sex
The most publicized case of presumed ghost sex took place several years ago, when Anna Nicole Smith had “amazing sex” with an entity she believed to be her boyfriend, alive and well in bed next to her, and then discovered it was actually a ghost having its way with her. At first, Smith revealed, she was scared but then concluded that the ghost had never hurt her, only given her amazing pleasure.

Smith’s reaction mirrors that of many people who have had the experience. “Some find it pleasurable to connect with a loved one who has passed over,” Stacey G says. “One woman told me she had an encounter with her boyfriend who had died in a motorcycle accident six months before. She felt it was their ‘goodbye.’”

Other people, Stacey G reveals, are confused and frightened by the encounter.

Not Sex, Just an “Old Hag”
Whether a night time encounter is actually ghost sex or something else is hard to say. “It’s hard to prove a dream state,” Stacey G says.

Even if physical marks, such as bruising or scratches, are present, there’s no way of knowing if the marks were there previously, caused by a real-life lover, or even by the victim herself. (Most victims of ghost sex are women.) “You have to trust the person relating the tale,” Stacey G says.

In most cases, ghost sex is actually “Old Hag syndrome,” or Sleep Paralysis. Sleep Paralysis is a medical condition afflicting 25 to 30 percent of the population. It occurs during REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep, when our voluntary motor functions shut down so we don’t hurt ourselves by acting out our dreams.

If we awaken partially during REM sleep, we find our bodies “paralyzed,” and may experience heavy pressure on our chests. SP may also cause hallucinations. All these factors, including the feeling of someone being on top of us, can trick the brain into thinking someone, or something, is having sex with us.

Perhaps that’s not as provocative as Anna Nicole Smith’s proclamations of “amazing sex with a ghost!” or as romantic as re-connecting with a deceased lover by means of a passion-filled, dream-like encounter. And who knows? Maybe ghost sex does exist for a handful of individuals. I’d rather focus on making sex with real-life lovers as amazing as possible.

Did Oprah’s Flight Attendants Have Sex on the Plane?

Oprah’s making headlines again, but it’s not about weight loss, bestselling books or giving away lots of money (although it may turn out that way.) According to  US Magazine, a flight attendant on Oprah Winfrey’s private jet filed a lawsuit late last week, after losing her job based on accusations that she had sex on the plane.

Flight attendant Corrine Gehrls said that fellow flight attendants Myron Gooch and Kirby Bumpus accused Gehrls of sex with chief pilot Terry Pansing. The accusations resulted in their termination. Although they passed lie detector tests, they were not re-hired. According to the US Magazine.com article, Gehrls is seeking “more than $75,000 in damages from Gooch, Bumpus and Harpo Inc., Oprah’s production company.”

My thoughts?
What kind of names are Gooch and Bumpus? Maybe they made the accusations out of jealousy; people with names like Gooch and Bumpus don’t strike me as the type to get laid on a plane (or anywhere else for that matter.)

But seriously… my next thought is that “more than $75,000” if you’re Oprah Winfrey really isn’t a lot of money to make this all go away. But it would set a dangerous precedent, because when does that type of thing stop?

And then, my mind wanders away from all this silliness as I drift into my own fantasy world… sex on a plane. Is it feasible?

The (apparently self-appointed) Minister of Common Sense says it’s not.  But the strength of his argument seems to lie in the fact that he doesn’t find it appealing, therefore, no one has ever done it. There are lots of things — from rubbing balloons on my private parts to watching puppets have sex — that don’t appeal to me. But that doesn’t mean some people don’t enjoy these fetishes. But back to sex on a plane…

How to have sex on a plane
The consensus seems to be the bathroom would be the most private place. Overnight (red-eye) flights are the best times. You should sneak out during drink service, when most people aren’t using the bathroom. Your partner should follow a minute later. Some people may notice and raise eyebrows, but, in all likelihood, no one will say anything. If a flight attendant catches you, one person should feign illness, thereby explaining why you’re crammed into the lavatory together. Hold your partner’s hand, request a ginger ale, and make your attempt on a different flight.

Once inside, (the bathroom, I mean) it won’t be comfortable. But you’re not doing this for the romance or the comfort, right? You want to join that exclusive group, the mile-high club. You’re on a quest!

With one partner straddling the toilet bowl, the other can penetrate from behind. Best of all, you have tissues and water at the ready for clean-up. That, in fact, may be the only good (or sanitary) thing about sex on a plane.

Keep in mind, if caught you can be charged with all sorts of embarrassing crimes, from disturbing the peace to “lewd and lascivious behavior.” It’s also illegal to disregard a flight attendant’s  orders. There is a chance, if you have sex on a plane, you’ll find police waiting for you at your destination. You probably won’t, as some people claim, get kicked out of the airplane, however.

Now that I’ve thought this through, I think I’d prefer to join the Mile-High Club this way: on a private plane with a bed, a bottle of champagne, and even a commemorative certificate.  Where else can you actually get an award for having sex?

Shopping for Non-Toxic Sex Toys

There’s been a lot of buzz lately on the health and science blogs about BPA and phthalates. You probably already know not to nuke plastic or leave your water bottles baking in the hot sun; the plastic breaks down and releases cancer-causing chemicals. But did you know that some sex toys can cause health problems, too?

Phthalates, sometimes called plasticizers, are used to soften plastic. They are sometimes used to make your favorite sex toys soft, smooth and flexible. Phthalates are found specifically in plastics like PVC.

Similar to a water bottle left in the hot sun, the phthalates in rubber and jelly sex toys break free with time and normal wear and tear. If you boil your toys to sterilize them, this accelerates the process. You can learn more about the dangers of phthalates in this article.

Phthalates have been linked to:

-    birth defects when pregnant women use products with phthalates
-    reproductive problems in male infants
-    early onset of puberty

For these reasons, pregnant or nursing women should never use products with phthalates. Phthalates have also been found to cause:

-    Low sperm count / poor semen quality
-    Reproductive development issues

These are exactly the kind of side effects you don’t want in a sex toy.

Fortunately, many manufacturers have already taken phthalates out of many of their popular products. For instance, Doc Johnson’s Blush Vibe with a ribbed sleeve is manufactured from safe ABS plastic with a phthalate-free elastomer (UR3) sleeve.

As for BPA? It isn’t commonly used in sex toys. Simply look for hard plastic vibes, dildos and butt plugs manufactured from ABS plastic.

So which materials are safe for sex toys?

TPE – TPE, aka Thermoplastic elastomer is a silky soft plastic that has, so far, been deemed safe for most uses. Many “green” children’s toys have parts manufactured from TPE, so if it’s safe for a kid to put in his mouth, it’s probably safe for you to put – well, anywhere. The Sapphire Magnum cock ring is manufactured from this versatile material. However, it is slightly porous, so while you don’t have to worry about toxic chemicals, you do have to clean it well to avoid the spread of disease and bacteria growth.

ABS plastic – Most hard plastic sex toys are manufactured from this safe, non-porous plastic. If you’re not seeking a lifelike material but instead want a firm, hard toy, ABS plastic is a cost-effective, safe choice.

Silicone – This luxurious, albeit pricey, sex toy material – sometimes called medical-grade silicone – is recognized as one of the safest options. Not only is it completely non-porous and easy-to-clean, but silicone doesn’t break down, releasing harmful chemicals into your body. Beware of toys advertised as a silicone mix, which may include toxic plastics as part of the blend.

Glass – A luxurious, glamorous option, glass toys such as Doc Johnson’s Glass Pleasure Dong are safe, easy to clean (they can be boiled for sterilization) and beautiful, as well! There’s no question about what a glass toy contains, and it will last virtually forever. The downside, of course, is that glass toys don’t have options for vibration. Glass dildos, however, offer a unique feel unlike any other sex toy.

How can you tell what your toy is made of?

You know that plastic or rubbery smell when you take your sex toy out of the package for the first time? That’s bad. Those are the chemicals in the plastic already breaking down, releasing all those molecules that damage your health. But how will you know before you make your purchase?

When you shop at Vibrator.com, unless you are buying a toy labeled “medical grade silicone” or a pure glass dildo, look for the words “phthalate-free” (in soft rubber toys) or ABS plastic (in hard toys). Lots of great toys exist, and these toys are not only safe for you, they’re better for the environment, too.

Farrah’s Death Raises Anal Cancer Awareness

It’s often hard to make sense of death, especially when the death follows a long battle with a rare illness. Although cancer in so many forms has permeated our society, anal cancer remains quite rare. According to the American Cancer Society, slightly over 5,000 cases are diagnosed each year, with 700 people dying from the disease. On June 25, 2009, 70s icon and former Charlie’s Angel star Farrah Fawcett was one of its victims.

Because of the body part it afflicts, and also because of the stigma attached to it, anal cancer is rarely publicized and often diagnosed too late. In Farrah Fawcett’s case, it was diagnosed and treated in 2006, but then returned this April and spread. On June 25, 2009, the beauty icon passed away from the cancer, which it is reported had spread to her liver.

“Farrah’s Story”
Although the disease, as cancer goes, is quite rare, it is also frequently ignored. Let’s face it: exams used to detect this type of cancer are uncomfortable, at best. The same goes for discussing the topic.

Farrah Fawcett’s documentary, “Farrah’s Story,” which aired on NBC in late May, shed light on the disease and on Farrah’s struggle. During the latter part of her life, Farrah brought several facts about anal cancer into the public eye.

1. If diagnosed early, patients have an 80 to 90 % remission rate.
2. If the cancer is localized and detected in its first stage, the 5-year survival is approximately 82%.
3. According to the American Cancer Society, up to 85 % of all anal cancers are caused by the HPV (human papillomavirus) infection, but it is not a sexually transmitted disease per se.
4. Since up to 25 % of all women have, at some point, contracted the HPV virus, while sexual promiscuity increases the risk of anal cancer, it is not the only risk factor.

Risk Factors
In addition to the HPV virus, risk factors for anal cancer include:

-         being over the age of 50
-         a weakened immune system
-         smoking
-         family history

It’s important to stress that anal cancer is not necessarily an indicator of sexual promiscuity – having many sexual partners is just one of many risk factors. Because small tears in the anus can lead to easier transmission of the HPV virus, practicing safe anal sex can decrease the odds of contracting the disease. The use of condoms can protect against HPV transmission, but may not entirely prevent it.

Symptoms of Anal Cancer
Symptoms of anal cancer include anal bleeding, itching and soreness. Other symptoms include changes in bowel habits, pain or pressure in that area, and unusual discharge from the area. Again, because of the high remission rate when the cancer is detected early, see a doctor if you exhibit any of these symptoms.

What about the HPV Vaccine?
Two vaccines—GlaxoSmithKline’s Cervarix and Merck’s Gardasil—have been shown to protect against some cancer-causing strains of HPV. However, neither vaccine has been approved for use to specifically prevent anal cancer. You can read more about the vaccine in this post, HPV Vaccine: Cancer Prevention or Corporate Profits?

As with any other form of cancer, knowledge of risk factors and symptoms, along with early detection and treatment, are the keys to better health.

Contemplating Farrah Fawcett & Michael Jackson as Sex Symbols

Whenever a group of people get together, it’s been said, the topic of conversation inevitably shifts to sex or death. And so, as the world recently lost two stars long before their time, it’s fitting to contemplate their roles in pop culture as sex symbols.

With Farrah Fawcett, the former Charlie’s Angel who defined sexy for an entire generation, it’s easy. But in his prime — before plastic surgery turned him into a parody of himself and child molestation charges gave the media fuel to denounce him as a freak — Michael Jackson was every bit as sexy as a supermodel.

So What Is Sexy?
What defines a sex symbol? Thick blonde hair, a tight body and a smile to kill for—along with the ability to kick ass on a top-rated TV show–certainly don’t hurt. But to be sexy…really, truly sexy… requires something far greater. Farrah Fawcett had it.

The fact that every girl of that generation wanted their hair to look just like Farrah’s was one side effect. But it wasn’t her golden locks, or even her body or her gorgeous features that all the girls wanted and the guys lusted after. It wasn’t even the fact that she showed a whole generation that women could be strong and powerful and still beautiful. Those things helped to make her the best selling pin-up girl of all times. But mostly it was the entire package, the attitude, the je ne sais quoi that turns some people into starlets. Call it confidence, but it transcends such a simple word. Farrah, who battled the very rare anal cancer, maintained that power, grace and beauty right until the end.

Sadly, Farrah’s death at age 62 after a long struggle, was overshadowed when the King of Pop Michael Jackson died unexpectedly of a supposed heart attack later that day, June 25.

Raw Talent = Sexy
Unlike Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson had difficulty maintaining his grace under fire, tabloid rumors and general weirdness, but that does not detract from his contributions to the music world. Along with Madonna, Michael Jackson defined an era of pop music. His soft yet powerful lilting voice and his dance moves were the stuff of junior high and high school dances.

What Generation X-er doesn’t remember learning to moonwalk, or gathering in front of the TV with your friends to watch the World Premiere of Thriller on MTV? Innocent times, those… bear with me while thirty-something Desiree Sweet waxes nostalgic, wipes a tear away for those bygone days… because yes, Michael Jackson was decidedly sexy. It had to be the music.

May I share a personal memory? Growing up as a teen in the days of magazines like Tiger Beat, my bedroom walls were plastered with photos of the teen stars of the day: Rob Lowe, Patrick Swayze, and Tom Cruise. (Don’t get me started on “Where are they now?”)  Amidst all those “conventionally gorgeous” teen stars, Michael Jackson also had a place of honor. He transcended standard definitions of hot, his music, his dance moves and his stage presence making girls of the time fall in love with him.

Sexy Never Dies
At age 50, Michael Jackson was set for a comeback, proving: “Once a star, always a star.” But those hopes ended tragically. As of this writing, no one is sure exactly what happened but we’re sure to find out before the media storm dies.

One thing we do know: Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson typified their respective eras and genres and will be missed. But we can keep their star quality alive, remembering them in our minds as the very definition of sexy.

Six Sexy Gifts for the Man in Your Life

Tired of the same old Father’s Day gift suggestions? Tools, ties, and techie gadgets are fun, but isn’t it time for something a bit more… arousing?

The staff of Vibrator.com has painstakingly picked our favorite men’s sex toys, from cock rings to personal masturbators. Of course, we recommend these Father’s Day gifts for the man – or men — in your life who isn’t actually your father. That would just be weird.

1. The Fleshlight Masturbator – Vibrator.com’s most popular toy for men, hands-down,  the Fleshlight masturbator features an interchangeable masturbation sleeve in a case that looks like a large flashlight. If women can have vibrators disguised as lipstick tubes or cell phones, why can’t men have appropriately discrete toys, as well? The sleeve is manufactured from patented Real Feel Superskin for a soft, realistic sensation and the phthalate-free material is safe and hygienic. The only drawback I see is that it won’t be much help on the nightstand in the event of a blackout – on second thought, it would probably be perfect in that situation.

2. Colt Power Stroker – Can a sex toy get any more manly than the “Colt Power Stroker?” In case the name doesn’t scream “tough,” this sexy, ribbed suction shaft is also shaped like a hand grenade. Inside, though, it’s all soft, super-stretchy Futurotic, which forms a tight little anus with ribbing for added pleasure and a tight-vacuumed suction shaft to make the experience even better. Like the Fleshlight, this toy is relatively discrete – that is, if you’re the type of person who can easily explain why there’s a hand grenade on your dresser.

3. Maven Masturbator – This reasonably priced masturbation sleeve comes to you from Vibratex, makers of the legendary Rabbit Pearl and Rabbit Habit toys. With a seven inch shaft and a textured entrance for immediate and prolonged stimulation, plus rows of raised nubs inside, this fun sleeve is a great introduction to masturbators for your favorite man.

4. Beginner Cock Ring – Tantus, well-known for quality dildos, vibes and other sex toys, has introduced a stretchy silicone cock ring. Easy-to-use and not intimidating, Tantus hails their newest offering as the perfect “beginner” cock ring. Two inches in diameter and super-stretchy, the cock ring warms up quickly to body temperature for a comfortable experience. The silicone is hygienic and easy to sanitize in the dishwasher or in boiling water.

5. Lasso Cock Ring – Every man wants to think of himself as a wild animal that must be tamed, so why not get your guy a Lasso? This easy-to-use adjustable cock ring from Cal Exotics makes a low-priced gift that promises an evening of fun.

6. Dr. Joel’s Penis Pump – If you’re looking for an exciting new adventure in the bedroom, a penis pump may give your man the lift he craves. A penis pump increases the cock’s size temporarily (some say permanently) and creates a stimulating suction effect. This high-quality pump from trusted sex toy manufacturer Doc Johnson features a state-of-the-art quick release valve and an industrial grade hose. The tapered cylinder measures nine inches long with a 2 ¼-inch opening. Manufactured from ultra-clear polished acrylic with a flared base that doesn’t need a gasket for the right fit, this comfortable pump includes a pressure gauge to help maintain consistent suction pressure.

Sticky Situations

The Internet is a funny place. (Okay, hang on and I’ll tell you something you don’t know.)

I’m talking, specifically, of how old news gets re-posted and recycled years later for continued debate. It’s even funnier when the story wasn’t true in the first place.

Since my co-blogger already busted the myth about gerbilling – which, admittedly, was circulating long before the Internet — what’s left?

A story that originated several years ago has now been revitalized due to our current economic climate: Since Germany legalized prostitution in 2002, the tale goes, a woman can be denied her unemployment benefits if she refuses a job in a brothel.

We’re not just talking about a hypothetical case, either. As The Telegraph, a UK paper reported, a 25-year-old unemployed IT professional phoned a brothel for a job after the job center said the establishment expressed interest in her profile. She thought she was calling a restaurant/bar and answering their ad or a waitress. By German law, any woman under 55 who has been out of work longer than a year must take any job offered. According to the article, the government considered exempting brothels from the law on moral grounds, but found it to hard to distinguish them from bars.

Thanks to Snopes.com, we find the story isn’t true—at least not quite. While theoretically, if a brothel were to recruit employees through a job centre, and a woman under 55 who had been unemployed more than a year refused the job, she could lose her benefits. But most job centres, according to Snopes, refused listings from brothels, to avoid putting a woman in such a predicament.

The actual waitress this allegedly happened to? It turned out to be a computer error and as soon as real-life bureacrats discovered the situation, they pulled the ad and permitted the woman to keep her benefits.

Of course, the topic begs the question: Is it fair to require someone to work in a job that contradicts their morals? If the waitress in question, for instance, were a vegan, should she be forced to work in a steakhouse?

But it also opens a host of other questions, not all of them related to morality and personal freedoms.

I’ve often joked that, should society collapse, there won’t be much of a need for bloggers, journalists and other freelance writers. (Fiction writers? More likely. There’s always something to be said for escapism and the town bard will always find welcome company, a warm bed and a cold beverage.)

Barring freelance writing, I have precisely one other skill.

I find it a compelling philosophical question: If prostitution was legal in the U.S., regulated, relatively safe and the pay was good, would I do it?

My answer: “Why not?”

I’ve always been intrigued by exotic dancers… not so much their moves, which I could never replicate, but their motives. During my one experience with a semi-private dancer, I found myself talking to a lovely Australian girl who was working her way through law school as a stripper.

That’s stripping, some may say. Sex is a whole different animal (so to speak).
I’m not talking about sex with animals, of course, just plain old garden variety men and women. And my answer is still, “Why not?”

That doesn’t mean, however, that I would force others into the job if they were uncomfortable with it, which brings us back to that whole sticky situation of forcing people to work in jobs they find morally offensive rather than collect unemployment.

For me, that would be a job as a telemarketer, which is far more morally reprehensible than sex with strangers.

What about you, dear readers? How bad would the economy have to get before you would consider sex as a means of income? And what job would be worse than prostitution?

Wallpaper Magazine and Robbie Cooper Want YOU

I got this in my Inbox the other day and I wanted to inform our readers and followers about a very interesting casting call in New York this weekend.  Read the details below, and if nothing else, check out British photographer Robbie Cooper and his fascinating work!

Immersion Project Casting
Casting email: Immersioncasting@gmail.com

Wallpaper Magazine – Editorial/Art Project Seeking Interesting Subjects Reacting to Adult Videos – New York City

Men and Women, 18+, all ethnicities, all outgoing types (hip/edgy, conservative, etc) needed for a Wallpaper Magazine Editorial/Art project. Reactions will be recorded only from the chest up, while the subject, in a separate, private room, is viewing pornography/sexual content (either DVD or internet). Beautifully lit head-and-shoulders portraits will be recorded of the participants. The video that they’re watching will not be visible.

This project is a continuation of a project called “IMMERSION” where the director isolates the subject from the camera and records the natural reactions. The project will be featured in Wallpaper magazine (publication and online) and possibly featured in art galleries as well. This is an innovative, provocative, challenging art project.

To read and view more regarding the technique and feel of IMMERSION, visit:
http://www.robbiecooper.org

click on Simulations
click on Immersions
click on Photos (bottom right)
click on Play Video (bottom right) this video is kids’ reactions while playing video games.

Shoot date(s): on or around April 11 or 12
Usage: Wallpaper Magazine, editorial publication, and online usage, possible art gallery

To apply, please email immersioncasting@gmail.com
Include your
Name
Age
Contact number
Current/recent photo or headshot

Practice Safe Sex

No, this isn’t a post about condoms. Who knew sex toys in the hands (and other anatomy parts) of certain people could be so dangerous?

TheBayNet.com, a local news Web site covering Calvert, St. Mary’s and Charles County, Maryland, reported that a Maryland woman was airlifted to Prince George’s Hospital after an accident involving a vibrator attached to a reciprocating saw blade. According to the report, the blade (quite predictably) sawed through the plastic toy and severely wounded the woman.

The act, however poorly thought-out, was entirely consensual and no charges were pressed.

My question: If the woman was damaged beyond the ability to procreate any longer, can she be nominated as the only living recipient of a Darwin Award?

But what else do you need to know about sex toy safety? (Aside from the obvious: blades sharp enough to cut through wood and metal should not be used in sex play!)

- Make sure a toy is waterproof before you put it in the water. Hint: if it’s got wires and an A/C adapter, it’s not waterproof! Battery-operated toys will specify on the packaging whether or not they are manufactured for water play.

- Butt plugs have wide bases for a reason. Do not insert them past that base, or you risk a rather embarrassing trip to the ER. And it’s happened. According to this article, in fact, it happens quite often.

- Do not place anything other than a sex toy designed for that purpose into any orifice. That means gerbils, food items (which can cause infections), or anything that could, well, get stuck up there. If you feel an urge to insert anything other than a sex toy, there are vibrators available shaped like cell phones, lipstick tubes, even a rubber ducky (and yes, it’s waterproof!)

- Clean all sex toys well before and after each use. As a general rule, most toys can be cleaned with a wet or damp cloth and mild soap or with an anti-bacterial toy cleaner. Only submerge toys which are waterproof. Read more about how to care for your sex toys here.

- Never use a toy in your vagina that’s been used in your (or someone else’s) ass before cleaning. You risk a nasty urinary tract infection due to bacteria.

- Be aware of the potential hazards of phthalate-based sex toys (often called jelly rubber.) While this flexible, silky material feels great the use pthalates in women of child-bearing age has been linked to birth defects. Additionally, the material, which is porous, can harbor bacteria and other germs. You may want to cover your phthalate-based sex toy with a condom. Carefully inspect all sex toys—but especially phthalate-based toys—for signs of wear or discoloration before use.

- Glass sex toys can crack or splinter. Inspect all glass toys before use. If you drop a glass toy on a hard surface, it is no longer safe to use, as it could crack unexpectedly from the stress of being dropped.

- Candles can be beautiful to create a romantic setting, and if you’re into BDSM, you can do all sorts of fun things with the wax, too. But accidents can happen, so keep a fire extinguisher close by if you are burning candles, and never leave a burning candle unattended. Make sure to extinguish before you fall asleep, as well.

Some of these pointers may seem obvious, but, in the heat of the moment, (or when alcohol is involved in sex play) everyone can use a reminder every once in a while. Be safe and have fun!