It’s the first full week of the New Year. That means it’s not too late to make a New Year’s Resolution! I hope no one has actually broken any of theirs yet, unless they were the kind meant to be broken. (Like giving up sex in 2010… definitely a bad idea!)

So, dear readers, what are your New Year’s Resolutions? I’m sure we have the lion’s share of “quit smoking,” “lose weight” and (my personal favorite) “quit procrastinating.” In 2010, your resident blogger has made a resolution to keep this blog up-to-date with exciting, fun and sometimes educational content – just for you.

In that vein, here are some suggestions for New Year’s Resolutions you won’t mind keeping all year long!

1. Do something new with your lover. You can break open the Kama Sutra and play with whatever position strikes your fancy, have sex outdoors, or make a foray into BDSM. Whatever you choose, do something that is a new experience for both of you.

2. Communicate with your lover. Take time, inside the bedroom or out, to reveal your innermost fantasies. What do you love best about his techniques? What do you wish he’d do more often? Here’s a tip, ladies – long talks during car drives work well. The lack of eye contact makes your man more comfortable and it helps that he has something else to focus on while still giving you the attention you need (and deserve!)

3. Buy a new toy. Expand your bedroom repertoire with the help of a new battery-powered friend. Go for something completely different. If you’ve never used a rabbit-style vibe, I recommend the new WOW series. Want something great for anal play? The Slimline Anal Explorer is a great beginner vibe at a great price.

4. Have more sex. Who couldn’t use a little more love in their life? Make arrangements for lunchtime rendezvous, quickies before breakfast, or long Saturday evening romps through every room in your house. If you’re an “only on weekends” couple, add a weekday into the mix. If you currently have sex once a week or less, aim for two or three times, just for a month, to see how you like it.

5. Make (and keep) a weekly date night. After the hubbub of the holidays, everyone begins to settle back into their normal routine. Why not make a weekly connection with your lover part of your regular 2010 schedule? If you have kids, line up a babysitter. If not – you have less of an excuse.

Date night doesn’t have to be expensive. Order Chinese food and then give each other massages by the fireplace. Use your imagination for low-cost, stay-at-home one-on-one time or splurge with a dinner out at your favorite restaurant. You can decide who, er – what’s – for dessert.

6. Do kegels. Kegels – easy little exercises that tone the PC (Pubococcygeus) muscles have well-documented health benefits. Not only do they help prevent incontinence, they can aid in childbirth. They also help women have more intense orgasms. You can do kegels anywhere, at any time (and no one will know). You can also use ben wa balls for a more intense experience.

7. Use a condom. If you’re not in a monogamous relationship, make 2010 the year you vow to practice safe sex with every partner and use a condom. You’ll find so many fun varieties here at Vibrator.com, you can even use a different style, color or flavor every day of the year!

Movies like Paranormal Activity and Blair Witch Project have caused box-office fervor in recent years. These ultra-low-budget films detail the experiences of  regular folks encountering…(cue Twilight Zone music)…ghosts!

There’s nothing X-rated going on between the ghosts and mortals in these flicks. But wouldn’t that be a unique twist? According to paranormal experts, it’s been known to happen.

Stacey G, northern Virginia paranomal investigator with over 20 years experience in dealing with all things going bump in the night, says, “Many of my clients will tell me about dreams where they believe they’ve been visited by ghosts, some resulting in sexual encounters.”

Since these encounters take place during dreams, however, with no one else present (or a partner soundly asleep beside the visited person) they’re hard to prove.

Celebrity Ghost Sex
The most publicized case of presumed ghost sex took place several years ago, when Anna Nicole Smith had “amazing sex” with an entity she believed to be her boyfriend, alive and well in bed next to her, and then discovered it was actually a ghost having its way with her. At first, Smith revealed, she was scared but then concluded that the ghost had never hurt her, only given her amazing pleasure.

Smith’s reaction mirrors that of many people who have had the experience. “Some find it pleasurable to connect with a loved one who has passed over,” Stacey G says. “One woman told me she had an encounter with her boyfriend who had died in a motorcycle accident six months before. She felt it was their ‘goodbye.’”

Other people, Stacey G reveals, are confused and frightened by the encounter.

Not Sex, Just an “Old Hag”
Whether a night time encounter is actually ghost sex or something else is hard to say. “It’s hard to prove a dream state,” Stacey G says.

Even if physical marks, such as bruising or scratches, are present, there’s no way of knowing if the marks were there previously, caused by a real-life lover, or even by the victim herself. (Most victims of ghost sex are women.) “You have to trust the person relating the tale,” Stacey G says.

In most cases, ghost sex is actually “Old Hag syndrome,” or Sleep Paralysis. Sleep Paralysis is a medical condition afflicting 25 to 30 percent of the population. It occurs during REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep, when our voluntary motor functions shut down so we don’t hurt ourselves by acting out our dreams.

If we awaken partially during REM sleep, we find our bodies “paralyzed,” and may experience heavy pressure on our chests. SP may also cause hallucinations. All these factors, including the feeling of someone being on top of us, can trick the brain into thinking someone, or something, is having sex with us.

Perhaps that’s not as provocative as Anna Nicole Smith’s proclamations of “amazing sex with a ghost!” or as romantic as re-connecting with a deceased lover by means of a passion-filled, dream-like encounter. And who knows? Maybe ghost sex does exist for a handful of individuals. I’d rather focus on making sex with real-life lovers as amazing as possible.

Oprah’s making headlines again, but it’s not about weight loss, bestselling books or giving away lots of money (although it may turn out that way.) According to  US Magazine, a flight attendant on Oprah Winfrey’s private jet filed a lawsuit late last week, after losing her job based on accusations that she had sex on the plane.

Flight attendant Corrine Gehrls said that fellow flight attendants Myron Gooch and Kirby Bumpus accused Gehrls of sex with chief pilot Terry Pansing. The accusations resulted in their termination. Although they passed lie detector tests, they were not re-hired. According to the US Magazine.com article, Gehrls is seeking “more than $75,000 in damages from Gooch, Bumpus and Harpo Inc., Oprah’s production company.”

My thoughts?
What kind of names are Gooch and Bumpus? Maybe they made the accusations out of jealousy; people with names like Gooch and Bumpus don’t strike me as the type to get laid on a plane (or anywhere else for that matter.)

But seriously… my next thought is that “more than $75,000” if you’re Oprah Winfrey really isn’t a lot of money to make this all go away. But it would set a dangerous precedent, because when does that type of thing stop?

And then, my mind wanders away from all this silliness as I drift into my own fantasy world… sex on a plane. Is it feasible?

The (apparently self-appointed) Minister of Common Sense says it’s not.  But the strength of his argument seems to lie in the fact that he doesn’t find it appealing, therefore, no one has ever done it. There are lots of things — from rubbing balloons on my private parts to watching puppets have sex — that don’t appeal to me. But that doesn’t mean some people don’t enjoy these fetishes. But back to sex on a plane…

How to have sex on a plane
The consensus seems to be the bathroom would be the most private place. Overnight (red-eye) flights are the best times. You should sneak out during drink service, when most people aren’t using the bathroom. Your partner should follow a minute later. Some people may notice and raise eyebrows, but, in all likelihood, no one will say anything. If a flight attendant catches you, one person should feign illness, thereby explaining why you’re crammed into the lavatory together. Hold your partner’s hand, request a ginger ale, and make your attempt on a different flight.

Once inside, (the bathroom, I mean) it won’t be comfortable. But you’re not doing this for the romance or the comfort, right? You want to join that exclusive group, the mile-high club. You’re on a quest!

With one partner straddling the toilet bowl, the other can penetrate from behind. Best of all, you have tissues and water at the ready for clean-up. That, in fact, may be the only good (or sanitary) thing about sex on a plane.

Keep in mind, if caught you can be charged with all sorts of embarrassing crimes, from disturbing the peace to “lewd and lascivious behavior.” It’s also illegal to disregard a flight attendant’s  orders. There is a chance, if you have sex on a plane, you’ll find police waiting for you at your destination. You probably won’t, as some people claim, get kicked out of the airplane, however.

Now that I’ve thought this through, I think I’d prefer to join the Mile-High Club this way: on a private plane with a bed, a bottle of champagne, and even a commemorative certificate.  Where else can you actually get an award for having sex?

There’s been a lot of buzz lately on the health and science blogs about BPA and phthalates. You probably already know not to nuke plastic or leave your water bottles baking in the hot sun; the plastic breaks down and releases cancer-causing chemicals. But did you know that some sex toys can cause health problems, too?

Phthalates, sometimes called plasticizers, are used to soften plastic. They are sometimes used to make your favorite sex toys soft, smooth and flexible. Phthalates are found specifically in plastics like PVC.

Similar to a water bottle left in the hot sun, the phthalates in rubber and jelly sex toys break free with time and normal wear and tear. If you boil your toys to sterilize them, this accelerates the process. You can learn more about the dangers of phthalates in this article.

Phthalates have been linked to:

-    birth defects when pregnant women use products with phthalates
-    reproductive problems in male infants
-    early onset of puberty

For these reasons, pregnant or nursing women should never use products with phthalates. Phthalates have also been found to cause:

-    Low sperm count / poor semen quality
-    Reproductive development issues

These are exactly the kind of side effects you don’t want in a sex toy.

Fortunately, many manufacturers have already taken phthalates out of many of their popular products. For instance, Doc Johnson’s Blush Vibe with a ribbed sleeve is manufactured from safe ABS plastic with a phthalate-free elastomer (UR3) sleeve.

As for BPA? It isn’t commonly used in sex toys. Simply look for hard plastic vibes, dildos and butt plugs manufactured from ABS plastic.

So which materials are safe for sex toys?

TPE – TPE, aka Thermoplastic elastomer is a silky soft plastic that has, so far, been deemed safe for most uses. Many “green” children’s toys have parts manufactured from TPE, so if it’s safe for a kid to put in his mouth, it’s probably safe for you to put – well, anywhere. The Sapphire Magnum cock ring is manufactured from this versatile material. However, it is slightly porous, so while you don’t have to worry about toxic chemicals, you do have to clean it well to avoid the spread of disease and bacteria growth.

ABS plastic – Most hard plastic sex toys are manufactured from this safe, non-porous plastic. If you’re not seeking a lifelike material but instead want a firm, hard toy, ABS plastic is a cost-effective, safe choice.

Silicone – This luxurious, albeit pricey, sex toy material – sometimes called medical-grade silicone – is recognized as one of the safest options. Not only is it completely non-porous and easy-to-clean, but silicone doesn’t break down, releasing harmful chemicals into your body. Beware of toys advertised as a silicone mix, which may include toxic plastics as part of the blend.

Glass – A luxurious, glamorous option, glass toys such as Doc Johnson’s Glass Pleasure Dong are safe, easy to clean (they can be boiled for sterilization) and beautiful, as well! There’s no question about what a glass toy contains, and it will last virtually forever. The downside, of course, is that glass toys don’t have options for vibration. Glass dildos, however, offer a unique feel unlike any other sex toy.

How can you tell what your toy is made of?

You know that plastic or rubbery smell when you take your sex toy out of the package for the first time? That’s bad. Those are the chemicals in the plastic already breaking down, releasing all those molecules that damage your health. But how will you know before you make your purchase?

When you shop at Vibrator.com, unless you are buying a toy labeled “medical grade silicone” or a pure glass dildo, look for the words “phthalate-free” (in soft rubber toys) or ABS plastic (in hard toys). Lots of great toys exist, and these toys are not only safe for you, they’re better for the environment, too.

It’s often hard to make sense of death, especially when the death follows a long battle with a rare illness. Although cancer in so many forms has permeated our society, anal cancer remains quite rare. According to the American Cancer Society, slightly over 5,000 cases are diagnosed each year, with 700 people dying from the disease. On June 25, 2009, 70s icon and former Charlie’s Angel star Farrah Fawcett was one of its victims.

Because of the body part it afflicts, and also because of the stigma attached to it, anal cancer is rarely publicized and often diagnosed too late. In Farrah Fawcett’s case, it was diagnosed and treated in 2006, but then returned this April and spread. On June 25, 2009, the beauty icon passed away from the cancer, which it is reported had spread to her liver.

“Farrah’s Story”
Although the disease, as cancer goes, is quite rare, it is also frequently ignored. Let’s face it: exams used to detect this type of cancer are uncomfortable, at best. The same goes for discussing the topic.

Farrah Fawcett’s documentary, “Farrah’s Story,” which aired on NBC in late May, shed light on the disease and on Farrah’s struggle. During the latter part of her life, Farrah brought several facts about anal cancer into the public eye.

1. If diagnosed early, patients have an 80 to 90 % remission rate.
2. If the cancer is localized and detected in its first stage, the 5-year survival is approximately 82%.
3. According to the American Cancer Society, up to 85 % of all anal cancers are caused by the HPV (human papillomavirus) infection, but it is not a sexually transmitted disease per se.
4. Since up to 25 % of all women have, at some point, contracted the HPV virus, while sexual promiscuity increases the risk of anal cancer, it is not the only risk factor.

Risk Factors
In addition to the HPV virus, risk factors for anal cancer include:

-         being over the age of 50
-         a weakened immune system
-         smoking
-         family history

It’s important to stress that anal cancer is not necessarily an indicator of sexual promiscuity – having many sexual partners is just one of many risk factors. Because small tears in the anus can lead to easier transmission of the HPV virus, practicing safe anal sex can decrease the odds of contracting the disease. The use of condoms can protect against HPV transmission, but may not entirely prevent it.

Symptoms of Anal Cancer
Symptoms of anal cancer include anal bleeding, itching and soreness. Other symptoms include changes in bowel habits, pain or pressure in that area, and unusual discharge from the area. Again, because of the high remission rate when the cancer is detected early, see a doctor if you exhibit any of these symptoms.

What about the HPV Vaccine?
Two vaccines—GlaxoSmithKline’s Cervarix and Merck’s Gardasil—have been shown to protect against some cancer-causing strains of HPV. However, neither vaccine has been approved for use to specifically prevent anal cancer. You can read more about the vaccine in this post, HPV Vaccine: Cancer Prevention or Corporate Profits?

As with any other form of cancer, knowledge of risk factors and symptoms, along with early detection and treatment, are the keys to better health.

Whenever a group of people get together, it’s been said, the topic of conversation inevitably shifts to sex or death. And so, as the world recently lost two stars long before their time, it’s fitting to contemplate their roles in pop culture as sex symbols.

With Farrah Fawcett, the former Charlie’s Angel who defined sexy for an entire generation, it’s easy. But in his prime — before plastic surgery turned him into a parody of himself and child molestation charges gave the media fuel to denounce him as a freak — Michael Jackson was every bit as sexy as a supermodel.

So What Is Sexy?
What defines a sex symbol? Thick blonde hair, a tight body and a smile to kill for—along with the ability to kick ass on a top-rated TV show–certainly don’t hurt. But to be sexy…really, truly sexy… requires something far greater. Farrah Fawcett had it.

The fact that every girl of that generation wanted their hair to look just like Farrah’s was one side effect. But it wasn’t her golden locks, or even her body or her gorgeous features that all the girls wanted and the guys lusted after. It wasn’t even the fact that she showed a whole generation that women could be strong and powerful and still beautiful. Those things helped to make her the best selling pin-up girl of all times. But mostly it was the entire package, the attitude, the je ne sais quoi that turns some people into starlets. Call it confidence, but it transcends such a simple word. Farrah, who battled the very rare anal cancer, maintained that power, grace and beauty right until the end.

Sadly, Farrah’s death at age 62 after a long struggle, was overshadowed when the King of Pop Michael Jackson died unexpectedly of a supposed heart attack later that day, June 25.

Raw Talent = Sexy
Unlike Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson had difficulty maintaining his grace under fire, tabloid rumors and general weirdness, but that does not detract from his contributions to the music world. Along with Madonna, Michael Jackson defined an era of pop music. His soft yet powerful lilting voice and his dance moves were the stuff of junior high and high school dances.

What Generation X-er doesn’t remember learning to moonwalk, or gathering in front of the TV with your friends to watch the World Premiere of Thriller on MTV? Innocent times, those… bear with me while thirty-something Desiree Sweet waxes nostalgic, wipes a tear away for those bygone days… because yes, Michael Jackson was decidedly sexy. It had to be the music.

May I share a personal memory? Growing up as a teen in the days of magazines like Tiger Beat, my bedroom walls were plastered with photos of the teen stars of the day: Rob Lowe, Patrick Swayze, and Tom Cruise. (Don’t get me started on “Where are they now?”)  Amidst all those “conventionally gorgeous” teen stars, Michael Jackson also had a place of honor. He transcended standard definitions of hot, his music, his dance moves and his stage presence making girls of the time fall in love with him.

Sexy Never Dies
At age 50, Michael Jackson was set for a comeback, proving: “Once a star, always a star.” But those hopes ended tragically. As of this writing, no one is sure exactly what happened but we’re sure to find out before the media storm dies.

One thing we do know: Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson typified their respective eras and genres and will be missed. But we can keep their star quality alive, remembering them in our minds as the very definition of sexy.

Tired of the same old Father’s Day gift suggestions? Tools, ties, and techie gadgets are fun, but isn’t it time for something a bit more… arousing?

The staff of Vibrator.com has painstakingly picked our favorite men’s sex toys, from cock rings to personal masturbators. Of course, we recommend these Father’s Day gifts for the man – or men — in your life who isn’t actually your father. That would just be weird.

1. The Fleshlight Masturbator – Vibrator.com’s most popular toy for men, hands-down,  the Fleshlight masturbator features an interchangeable masturbation sleeve in a case that looks like a large flashlight. If women can have vibrators disguised as lipstick tubes or cell phones, why can’t men have appropriately discrete toys, as well? The sleeve is manufactured from patented Real Feel Superskin for a soft, realistic sensation and the phthalate-free material is safe and hygienic. The only drawback I see is that it won’t be much help on the nightstand in the event of a blackout – on second thought, it would probably be perfect in that situation.

2. Colt Power Stroker – Can a sex toy get any more manly than the “Colt Power Stroker?” In case the name doesn’t scream “tough,” this sexy, ribbed suction shaft is also shaped like a hand grenade. Inside, though, it’s all soft, super-stretchy Futurotic, which forms a tight little anus with ribbing for added pleasure and a tight-vacuumed suction shaft to make the experience even better. Like the Fleshlight, this toy is relatively discrete – that is, if you’re the type of person who can easily explain why there’s a hand grenade on your dresser.

3. Maven Masturbator – This reasonably priced masturbation sleeve comes to you from Vibratex, makers of the legendary Rabbit Pearl and Rabbit Habit toys. With a seven inch shaft and a textured entrance for immediate and prolonged stimulation, plus rows of raised nubs inside, this fun sleeve is a great introduction to masturbators for your favorite man.

4. Beginner Cock Ring – Tantus, well-known for quality dildos, vibes and other sex toys, has introduced a stretchy silicone cock ring. Easy-to-use and not intimidating, Tantus hails their newest offering as the perfect “beginner” cock ring. Two inches in diameter and super-stretchy, the cock ring warms up quickly to body temperature for a comfortable experience. The silicone is hygienic and easy to sanitize in the dishwasher or in boiling water.

5. Lasso Cock Ring - Every man wants to think of himself as a wild animal that must be tamed, so why not get your guy a Lasso? This easy-to-use adjustable cock ring from Cal Exotics makes a low-priced gift that promises an evening of fun.

6. Dr. Joel’s Penis Pump – If you’re looking for an exciting new adventure in the bedroom, a penis pump may give your man the lift he craves. A penis pump increases the cock’s size temporarily (some say permanently) and creates a stimulating suction effect. This high-quality pump from trusted sex toy manufacturer Doc Johnson features a state-of-the-art quick release valve and an industrial grade hose. The tapered cylinder measures nine inches long with a 2 ¼-inch opening. Manufactured from ultra-clear polished acrylic with a flared base that doesn’t need a gasket for the right fit, this comfortable pump includes a pressure gauge to help maintain consistent suction pressure.

The Internet is a funny place. (Okay, hang on and I’ll tell you something you don’t know.)

I’m talking, specifically, of how old news gets re-posted and recycled years later for continued debate. It’s even funnier when the story wasn’t true in the first place.

Since my co-blogger already busted the myth about gerbilling – which, admittedly, was circulating long before the Internet — what’s left?

A story that originated several years ago has now been revitalized due to our current economic climate: Since Germany legalized prostitution in 2002, the tale goes, a woman can be denied her unemployment benefits if she refuses a job in a brothel.

We’re not just talking about a hypothetical case, either. As The Telegraph, a UK paper reported, a 25-year-old unemployed IT professional phoned a brothel for a job after the job center said the establishment expressed interest in her profile. She thought she was calling a restaurant/bar and answering their ad or a waitress. By German law, any woman under 55 who has been out of work longer than a year must take any job offered. According to the article, the government considered exempting brothels from the law on moral grounds, but found it to hard to distinguish them from bars.

Thanks to Snopes.com, we find the story isn’t true—at least not quite. While theoretically, if a brothel were to recruit employees through a job centre, and a woman under 55 who had been unemployed more than a year refused the job, she could lose her benefits. But most job centres, according to Snopes, refused listings from brothels, to avoid putting a woman in such a predicament.

The actual waitress this allegedly happened to? It turned out to be a computer error and as soon as real-life bureacrats discovered the situation, they pulled the ad and permitted the woman to keep her benefits.

Of course, the topic begs the question: Is it fair to require someone to work in a job that contradicts their morals? If the waitress in question, for instance, were a vegan, should she be forced to work in a steakhouse?

But it also opens a host of other questions, not all of them related to morality and personal freedoms.

I’ve often joked that, should society collapse, there won’t be much of a need for bloggers, journalists and other freelance writers. (Fiction writers? More likely. There’s always something to be said for escapism and the town bard will always find welcome company, a warm bed and a cold beverage.)

Barring freelance writing, I have precisely one other skill.

I find it a compelling philosophical question: If prostitution was legal in the U.S., regulated, relatively safe and the pay was good, would I do it?

My answer: “Why not?”

I’ve always been intrigued by exotic dancers… not so much their moves, which I could never replicate, but their motives. During my one experience with a semi-private dancer, I found myself talking to a lovely Australian girl who was working her way through law school as a stripper.

That’s stripping, some may say. Sex is a whole different animal (so to speak).
I’m not talking about sex with animals, of course, just plain old garden variety men and women. And my answer is still, “Why not?”

That doesn’t mean, however, that I would force others into the job if they were uncomfortable with it, which brings us back to that whole sticky situation of forcing people to work in jobs they find morally offensive rather than collect unemployment.

For me, that would be a job as a telemarketer, which is far more morally reprehensible than sex with strangers.

What about you, dear readers? How bad would the economy have to get before you would consider sex as a means of income? And what job would be worse than prostitution?

I got this in my Inbox the other day and I wanted to inform our readers and followers about a very interesting casting call in New York this weekend.  Read the details below, and if nothing else, check out British photographer Robbie Cooper and his fascinating work!

Immersion Project Casting
Casting email: Immersioncasting@gmail.com

Wallpaper Magazine - Editorial/Art Project Seeking Interesting Subjects Reacting to Adult Videos - New York City

Men and Women, 18+, all ethnicities, all outgoing types (hip/edgy, conservative, etc) needed for a Wallpaper Magazine Editorial/Art project. Reactions will be recorded only from the chest up, while the subject, in a separate, private room, is viewing pornography/sexual content (either DVD or internet). Beautifully lit head-and-shoulders portraits will be recorded of the participants. The video that they’re watching will not be visible.

This project is a continuation of a project called “IMMERSION” where the director isolates the subject from the camera and records the natural reactions. The project will be featured in Wallpaper magazine (publication and online) and possibly featured in art galleries as well. This is an innovative, provocative, challenging art project.

To read and view more regarding the technique and feel of IMMERSION, visit:
http://www.robbiecooper.org

click on Simulations
click on Immersions
click on Photos (bottom right)
click on Play Video (bottom right) this video is kids’ reactions while playing video games.

Shoot date(s): on or around April 11 or 12
Usage: Wallpaper Magazine, editorial publication, and online usage, possible art gallery

To apply, please email immersioncasting@gmail.com
Include your
Name
Age
Contact number
Current/recent photo or headshot

No, this isn’t a post about condoms. Who knew sex toys in the hands (and other anatomy parts) of certain people could be so dangerous?

TheBayNet.com, a local news Web site covering Calvert, St. Mary’s and Charles County, Maryland, reported that a Maryland woman was airlifted to Prince George’s Hospital after an accident involving a vibrator attached to a reciprocating saw blade. According to the report, the blade (quite predictably) sawed through the plastic toy and severely wounded the woman.

The act, however poorly thought-out, was entirely consensual and no charges were pressed.

My question: If the woman was damaged beyond the ability to procreate any longer, can she be nominated as the only living recipient of a Darwin Award?

But what else do you need to know about sex toy safety? (Aside from the obvious: blades sharp enough to cut through wood and metal should not be used in sex play!)

- Make sure a toy is waterproof before you put it in the water. Hint: if it’s got wires and an A/C adapter, it’s not waterproof! Battery-operated toys will specify on the packaging whether or not they are manufactured for water play.

- Butt plugs have wide bases for a reason. Do not insert them past that base, or you risk a rather embarrassing trip to the ER. And it’s happened. According to this article, in fact, it happens quite often.

- Do not place anything other than a sex toy designed for that purpose into any orifice. That means gerbils, food items (which can cause infections), or anything that could, well, get stuck up there. If you feel an urge to insert anything other than a sex toy, there are vibrators available shaped like cell phones, lipstick tubes, even a rubber ducky (and yes, it’s waterproof!)

- Clean all sex toys well before and after each use. As a general rule, most toys can be cleaned with a wet or damp cloth and mild soap or with an anti-bacterial toy cleaner. Only submerge toys which are waterproof. Read more about how to care for your sex toys here.

- Never use a toy in your vagina that’s been used in your (or someone else’s) ass before cleaning. You risk a nasty urinary tract infection due to bacteria.

- Be aware of the potential hazards of phthalate-based sex toys (often called jelly rubber.) While this flexible, silky material feels great the use pthalates in women of child-bearing age has been linked to birth defects. Additionally, the material, which is porous, can harbor bacteria and other germs. You may want to cover your phthalate-based sex toy with a condom. Carefully inspect all sex toys—but especially phthalate-based toys—for signs of wear or discoloration before use.

- Glass sex toys can crack or splinter. Inspect all glass toys before use. If you drop a glass toy on a hard surface, it is no longer safe to use, as it could crack unexpectedly from the stress of being dropped.

- Candles can be beautiful to create a romantic setting, and if you’re into BDSM, you can do all sorts of fun things with the wax, too. But accidents can happen, so keep a fire extinguisher close by if you are burning candles, and never leave a burning candle unattended. Make sure to extinguish before you fall asleep, as well.

Some of these pointers may seem obvious, but, in the heat of the moment, (or when alcohol is involved in sex play) everyone can use a reminder every once in a while. Be safe and have fun!

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