Flying Phalluses and Other Strange Sex News

I once had a co-worker who saw penises in strange places. For instance, there’s a rather phallic-looking tree on a major roadway leading to an annual industry event. Of course, my co-worker was the first to notice it. I won’t comment on the level of sexual frustration that leads a middle-aged woman to spot penises in the most unusual places.

She was also the first one in my circle of contacts to circulate this photo, of a snow penis.  In fact, I was surprised she hadn’t seen the real thing (so to speak) in her travels and snapped the photo herself.

She did come back from a road trip one weekend with pictures of rather well-endowed horses she spotted on the side of the road. And now, dear readers, you’re starting to get an idea of why Desiree Sweet chooses to work from home. But speaking of horses and penises… (that’s a segue I bet you never thought you’d read)…

The Horse and the Flying Sex Toy
A police horse in Wichita, Kansas, wasn’t quite as amused as my co-worker may have been when it got hit by a giant inflatable penis. “Who would throw an inflatable penis at a police horse?” you might wonder. A very drunk 24-year-old man at a bachelorette party.

Yes, you read that right. According to this report, the Eastborough man, a brother to one of the women in attendance, was playing with a five-foot inflatable penis when he accidentally (we presume) launched the giant phallus toward the police horse, who, predictably, got spooked.

The man was arrested for battery of a law enforcement officer – that would be, for hitting the horse with the sex prop.

Sad as it may be, that story is not so strange as the one in the U.K. Sun about a Berkshire, England, man who received a call that someone had painted a giant penis on his roof.

Rooftop Fertility Symbols
54-year-old Andy McInnes thought it was a practical joke when the UK Sun informed him that a helicopter pilot spotted the 60-foot Johnson on the roof of his $1.5 million home.

Turns out, his 18-year-old son, Rory, painted the penis on the roof in hopes of making the house stand out in the aerial images published on Google Earth. But in England, the Cerne Abbas Giant is also regarded as a fertility symbol. Rory’s mother, 49-year-old Clare McInnes, called the idea of sleeping under a giant fertility symbol “rather worrying.” With a son like Rory, I can’t say I blame them for that.

Meanwhile, his father noted that Rory will have some scrubbing to do when he returns home from his trip to Brazil.

So, dear Vibrator.com readers, I leave you with this question: Would rubbing off a 60-foot penis be considered the world’s largest hand job?

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