Gerbiling: Is It Possible?

So I have been brainstorming for a few days, trying to think of something enthralling to share as my first post here. So many topics have been covered that it is hard to step in, even as a guest, with something interesting to share. Ever have stage fright? Guesting is like being on stage, a huge, world-wide one!

My first thought was to examine fetishes. I enjoy fetishes, all types. From foot worship to looning-(see the previous post on unknown fetishes), if it is a fetish, I want to know about it! Hell, sex is just a really cool topic. But there are places even I have never gone. That is where I want to go now and take you with me.

Take my hand, darlings, we’re going to take a walk on the dark side of sex. First stop, the pet shop. Here we will pick up a gerbil or two. For research purposes only, you understand.

Yes, I am talking about Gerbiling. If you are not familiar with the term, Gerbiling is the act of introducing a live gerbil into the anus, (usually a gay male in the urban legends),  for pleasure. The legends claim a rodent will thrash around, stimulating the prostate until an unbelievable orgasm is reached. The same legends state that the gerbil is forced into the rectum with a wet toilet paper tube.

When I first heard all of this my first reaction was- “Bullshit. Even if you could push a toilet paper tube, a wet one at that, up your ass, why the fuck would anyone want to put something like a rat in there?” Of course, the answer I got back was, “Because they are GAY.”

What the F?

I have to say, I am pretty tight with more than a few gay guys and lesbians. A couple of the lesbians I am more than tight with.  No one has ever attempted to give a hamster a home in their asshole.  Being gay does not mean all manner of animals or objects go into the booty, you know?

I did get to wondering if it was even possible to gerbil. After a lot of research here is what I have come up with: NO.

Why? Here are a few reasons:

1. Your asshole is designed to push things out. When putting things in, the end should be tapered like a cock, butt plug, or dildo. The end of a toilet paper tube is not going in, not without a speculum, a lot of lube, and probably not even then.
2. Gerbils have teeth and claws. Big teeth. Either one of those will cause some serious damage to the inside of the anus. Ow?
3. Who is going to take the time to tape up a gerbil, then lube it enough so that it will slide in (vibrators cost less than a gerbil and will do a better job on the prostate than a thrashing rodent).

I am sure someone will come along and insist they know someone who has Gerbiled. But until I see photos that are not Photoshopped or a video that is not edited, the answer is NO, Gerbiling just is not possible.

On a side note, Gerbiling has driven my Word program nuts. I must write Microsoft about that.

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