Guide to Tantric Sex, Part 2: Foreplay

Our Guide to Tantric Sex, Part 1 explored some of the rituals you might do to prepare your surroundings, as well as your mind and body, for tantric sex. These can take place at any time and can be used to strengthen your love relationship, without necessarily leading up to sexual activity.

The activities covered in this post lead directly to the sexual act, a prolonged lovemaking experience that many say is the pinnacle of sex!

1.    Self-exploration –

The expression, “You have to love yourself before you can love someone else” is a very tantric philosophy. Practitioners of tantra recommend getting to know—and love—your own body before engaging in sex. Many people, especially women, simply aren’t comfortable with their bodies, so this step may take a long time before you feel ready to move on.

Stand naked in front of a full-length mirror and look at every part of your body. Really get to know it. Don’t nitpick at your perceived flaws, but accept them as part of the roadmap of your life experience. Do you have stretch marks from pregnancy? Thick thighs, solid with muscle from physical activity? Accept them as part of who you are. Don’t look past parts of your body you don’t like, love them.

It may be easier to start with body parts you like, or even less intimate parts, such as your hair, eyes and lips. Appreciate the symmetry of your face, the sensuousness of your lips. Work your way down until you feel as if you can accept, and grow to love, every inch of your body. The same technique applies to men!

2.    Self-love –

When you reach your genitals during this self-exploration ritual, use a mirror to explore every section. Finger yourself, rub and watch as your clitoris expands with increased blood flow. Revel in the moisture. As the sexual tension builds, don’t forget to practice your tantric breathing!  You may want to expel low, relaxing moans as you breathe out. Don’t be self-conscious.  Men, too… Feel yourself grow with your touch, appreciate the shape and texture of your penis. Do whatever feels right to you.

3.    Discussion –

Now it’s time to bring your lover into the mix. Sit face-to-face in your sacred space and talk. Share your fantasies and ideas about what you would like to do. Praise your partner, too. Tell them what you like about their body and techniques.

4.    Kissing –

A tantric kiss is more than foreplay. It’s an enjoyable act on its own. Kiss with your entire body, mind and soul, focusing only on the tactile sensations of your lovers’ lips. Taste his saliva. Let his tongue mimic intercourse as it plunges in and out of your mouth.

If you find your mind beginning to wander, whether you contemplate your technique or become self-conscious, breathe deeply of your lovers’ breath and pull yourself back in to the moment. The kiss is all that matters. We offer more kissing tips in this post.

5.    Worship each others’ bodies –

As you went through the phase of self-exploration, now it’s time to explore your lover’s body. Focus on the sensuous curve of their feet, every muscle in their legs, and work your way up. There is something sensual and sexual in every body part, so praise, rub, kiss or lick it as you wish.

6.    “The Crow” –

Often called “69,” this position is part of the Kama Sutra guide to sex positions and brings oral pleasure to both partners. Most tantric sex guides emphasize the co-mingling of bodily fluids—“love juices” and saliva—but it would be irresponsible to talk about oral sex without protection if you are not in a monogamous relationship, where you can be assured both partners are free of diseases. With or without protection, the technique and pleasure are the same.

In the spirit of tantric sex, pay close attention to your lovers’ parts and be free to give and receive feedback about what feels good. Enjoy the taste of your lover just as you enjoyed the oysters and strawberries, appreciating both the flavor and scent. You may want to experiment with different positions (side-by-side, him on top, her on top) and even add pillows to place your neck at the right angle to be comfortable. You should be able to focus entirely on your lover during this experience.

Stay tuned for Part 3 of our Guide to Tantric Sex, which will talk about intercourse and how to prolong orgasms.

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