How to Use a Vagina
Apr 23, 2007
So today you’ve found yourself a nice warm vagina that you are just dying to try out. Unfortunately, vagina’s do not come with instructions, proper lighting or air fresheners. Well I do believe that this little blog post will help you out in your beginning days of taming the vagina. Sit back and let the Dildo Dude talk shop…Now the most important thing to remember is that the vagina was specially designed to make your penis feel good.
The Clitoris (rhymes with Deloris, and Lavoris)- also known as the man in the boat, the clit, the love button, the budgie’s tongue and the magic button that will open her thighs. This is where you’ll be expected to spend a significant part of the night, so bring ideas for killing time. One way is to try and guess the different smells. One might be her laundry detergent, another last night’s dinner. Some women like humming at this point – and I hum “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” and refer to it as the seventh inning stretch. I understand some women will actually orgasm upon clitoral contact…is this REALLY true ladies?
Different Types of Vaginas
There are probably different types of vaginas but quite frankly who cares? Nobody has ever thrown a babe out of bed because her vagina wasn’t cute. Once you’ve determined that there is, in fact, a vagina present, get the party started. There are however different ways of decorating the vagina. I found these helpful diagrams at the National Institute of Health.
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Go back and check her I.D. Its OK? You the man! | Did you pick her up at a strip joint? No? She may be a professional. Be prepared to pay dearly or risk getting beat up by her pimp. |
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A nice girl. She cares enough to keep it neat but she’s not working her way through college by wiggling it in old guy’s faces. | You either love it or you hate it. I was raised on them so I just keep a box of dental floss next to the rubbers and dive in head first! |
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See Hitler’s Moustache |
Do you find all this talk about vaginas too complicated? I kind of figured you would so take a gander at the picture below it will help avoid all of this vagina nonsense. The hand. The most important thing to remember is that the hand was specially designed to make your penis feel good.
Posted in: Education, Entertainment Comments 1
Meg on Thu, 17th May 2007 12:24 am
Some women do orgasm on clitorial contact. I do at least.