Have you ever been with a lover who seemed to just want to get sex over and done with as quick as possible? Who hasn’t? They’re the ones who seldom get asked for a return engagement, aren’t they? Whether you call it making love or just plain fucking, sex is best when it just goes on and on, reaching new heights of mutual pleasure. And that’s what we’re here to talk about right now.

There are all kinds of various issues connected to making it last longer. Some men have trouble holding back and the key to working that out sometimes is to just let it happen, but then get right back into your groove. Oral sex, erotic massage, cuddling and kissing can fill in the time while you wait for that erection to return (note: with use of Viagra or other drugs, your mileage may vary). Part of making “it” last longer is spending plenty of time in foreplay. These days it seems — despite the numerous warnings of sex experts — everyone wants to rush through the sex instead of slowly building the pleasure plateaus higher and higher. The object is to keep up the interest. I know it sounds crazy, but apparently some people get bored with sex. They think they have to rush off to another computer game session, chat with their friends, do the thousand and one things on their to-do lists. For such people, sex is just another item to check off on that list. And why? I suspect it’s because they’ve never really gotten into how good long-lasting sex can be. The old slam-bam-thank you-ma’am is and should be taking a backseat to the “all night long” idea.

It can be as simple as take your time. Start off slow, teasingly, sensually. Don’t just make a grab for the goods, but awaken your lover’s whole body. Spend a little while admiring parts of the body that are neglected. Earlobes, behind the knees, along the arm, the neck, higher and higher on the thighs. And feet! You don’t have to be a foot fetishist, but the feet are often the most overworked part of the body, so give them some special TLC. And, men, listen up! Three spots you don’t want to forget when it comes to pleasuring. That tender spot just above her pubic bone; midway along the front crease where her hips merge down toward the triangle and, of course, her G-spot. Okay, enough of the foreplay for now. Let’s talk about making “it” last longer.

There used to be an old joke about men who shot too early to think about baseball or fishing or something — anything — to take their mind temporarily off what they were doing. As if a slight mental detour were the answer. It’s not. By the time, a man has remembered to think of something else, it’s way too late. But there are a few physical tricks to extending the sexy action. You can take a tip from one of our other articles and use a cockring to maintain your erection even after ejaculating. Another option is to use one of the various desensitizing creams available which contain a mild topical anesthetic.

Unless she’s right on the edge and begging to be taken over it, adjust your pace. Stir like you‘re mixing a cocktail, don’t pound away like you’re working a jackhammer. Stay inside her, but don’t stroke; instead kiss more, lick here and there, caress her body with your hands, nuzzle her face and neck, then slowly start to build up the stroking pace again. When you’re starting to get close again (and you CAN tell, guys), slow down, move your hips from side to side, roll with the strokes, make it a grinding sultry dance, not a Tour de France competition.

Oh, and one more thing, express yourself. Let her see that it’s pleasure for you, not a chore so you can get back to that TV remote and another beer. You can groan, moan, shout, yell, growl, and purr like a panther in heat and finish it up with a meaningful “I love you” or a “Damn, woman, you make me feel so good.” One final thing, men: part of learning how to make it last, is making it so good, she’ll want to do it again (with you!) real soon. Lasting longer can turn you from ho-hum guy into the great lover she’ll brag about.

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