For many guys, going down on a woman is a trip into the unknown. A biology textbook will provide you with a map of the territory - but there’s a little more to it than that. For those of you who’d like to learn just how to send a woman to heaven and back, here are a few pointers to help polish your cunnilingus technique.

First of all, the problem with diagrams and instructions is that women are not built like automobiles. When you look under the hood, every one is unique, different and special. What works for one woman may be another’s biggest turn-off. So your first mission is to find out what makes your partner tick. You can either do this the direct way - by asking her - or by simple trial and error. Most women will be delighted to help you perfect your cunnilingus skills!

Of course, some people find talking about sex difficult - there are other ways to gage what works and what doesn’t. Watching a woman masturbate can be a great way to find out what she gets off on. Pay close attention, and don’t be afraid to ask!

Important note before you start: a woman’s bits tend to be much more sensitive than a man’s. Over-enthusiastic rubbing or licking of her ‘delicate flower’ may not just feel unpleasant, it could be painful. So, as a rule of thumb, go gently. There are times when a woman will want you to increase the pressure and friction - you can generally tell when this is the case by how hard she’s pushing against you!

Now; positions please, ladies and gentlemen…

The classic pose of woman-on-her-back may not be the best way to go if you’re looking to please your partner’. If she straddles your face while you’re lying down, she has more control over where you lick and how hard/deep you go during cunnilingus. Experiment with different positions to find what works for you.

With oral sex, the build-up is often as much fun as the act. Rather than diving straight in and going hell for leather at it, try teasing her a little first. Kiss her inner thighs, nuzzle her pubic hair. Even the sensation of blowing air over a clit can be wonderful - this spot has more nerve endings than you would believe! Very gentle tugging at the pubic hair or the lips increases the blood flow and helps stimulate arousal.

Now for the main course. Start to gently lick or kiss around the clitoris, at the sides of the hood or between the hard, bead point (the glans) and the vagina. Many women will find direct pressure on the clit too much, especially to begin with. Don’t be afraid to vary your strokes - dipping your tongue inside the vagina or licking around the anus as well as licking round the clitoris.

When it comes to cunnilingus, patience is most definitely a virtue. Don’t be afraid to go slow. As your partner becomes more excited, you may feel her clitoris stiffen and swell as the blood rushes to the area. She’s also likely to grow very wet, and may enjoy a finger inside her. Gradually increase the pressure and speed of your licking, concentrating more on the clit as your partner comes close to orgasm. Once she’s on the way, she’ll probably want steady, firm strokes of the tongue.

Got that? Good, now don’t stop!

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