Just how important is sex anyway? And why?

Something that I’ve been thinking a lot about lately is just how important to me, is having sex, anyway.  And I believe that there certainly is a level of importance to having a happy, healthy, satisfying sex life.  I’ve always been curious though, what it is about sex that makes it so important.  Is it the orgasms?  Sure they can be different, however, you can get orgasms through masturbation.

I think a lot of it has to do with feeling desired.  Our sense of how desirable we are is very wrapped up in whether or not someone will have sex with us.  Regardless if that is “right” or not, but it certainly makes sense.  However, our sense of being desired is so very tied up with our self worth that it can really negatively affect us.

There is also the sheer pleasure of it.  Sex is supposed to feel good, and for the most part it really does feel damn good!  I mean…orgasms are heavenly, building up to the orgasm is heavenly!  It’s all just wonderful and yummy and good feeling!!

Since we’ve gotten a mattress (just a couple days ago) we’ve had sex every day except one (it was over 100 degrees that day and we don’t have an air conditioner; it was just too damn hot to have sex).  And it’s been wonderful.  We have been happier, less stressed out and I’ve noticed these things in other aspects of life; working, just hanging out at home, and in our personal interactions.  We’ve been less cranky and feeling “looser” and more easy going, if not even simply more positive about everything.

For me, I have discovered that sex is important to me, emotional closeness aside, is stress relief.   For us, a good part of the reason we could have sex as much as we wanted to was due to not having a bed; with his bad knees and both of us having bad backs it’s difficult to have sex on the floor, and with the not-really-a-bed we’d been sleeping on we were relegated to only doggy style.  So being stuck with only one position plus the stress we’d been under .. no matter how much we wanted to .. well, we didn’t want to.

Now that we can choose what position(s) we use sex is more fun again.  We’ve already tried a new position that I absolutely love!  And added to that we can cuddle much more easily in bed again (when we’re not too hot to even hold hands).  I’m feeling closer to my boyfriend again, which is wonderful.  I think the problem for us was having the choice taken away from us.

So… as for how important sex is to me…I think it’s less that ensuring I have sex x-amount of times and more that I am able to express my sexuality when I need to in the ways I need and want to.

I’m loving sex again and am already looking forward to my boyfriend being home tonight; it’s cooled off again and I’m considering dressing up and being in something sexy for when he gets home from work.  Teehee….

How important is sex to you?  And why?

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