Lace Thongs, Boxer Briefs & Other Underwear Tales

A few friends gathered at my house the other day and the topic of underwear came up.

“Everyone’s got a good underwear story!” my one friend said. But she’s been known to write fan fiction about BDSM elves, so I’m not sure if she falls into that category of “everyone.”

As I thought about it, though, I realized I did have a few. And a few that are fun to re-tell although they’re not mine. So sit right back and you’ll hear a tale (or three)…

“She forgot to add the fabric softener…”

A friend of mine is an elementary school teacher. At the chalk board one day, she noticed something amiss. You might say she had something up her sleeve. She casually maneuvered her hand to pull a black lace thong out the sleeve of her sweater. Blushing, she tucked the thong into her pocket and continued with the lesson.

“He left these at my house…”

Doing laundry one day I came across a pair of boxer briefs that were decidedly not my husband’s. Now, a friend had visited a few months prior, but I’m still not sure how his underwear didn’t make it to the laundry sooner. So I got to make that fun phone call.

“Um, I think you left underwear at my house…”
“Are you sure?” Let’s just say that yes, I do know what his underwear looks like (when he chooses to wear it.) So I was pretty sure.
“Boxer briefs? Dark gray?”
“Yup.”

It just so happened I’d be seeing my friend’s fiancé at another friend’s bridal shower the next week, so, of course, I brought the underwear. I couldn’t resist handing them to her in front of the bride-to-be’s 76-year-old, never-married aunt. “Your husband left these at my house,” I said, resisting a smirk.

She didn’t bat an eye, took them, and thanked me. It’s fun to make people wonder.

“That’s why I’m the cool aunt…”

Last week, my washing machine broke so I went to my sister’s house to do a load of laundry. Just the necessities: socks, underwear, jeans, and lots and lots of baby clothes. When the dryer finished, I brought the basket of clean clothes into the living room where my sister helped me fold them.

My one-year-old daughter decided she wanted to help and began pulling clothes out of the basket and handing them to her cousin, my 14-year-old nephew. First a shirt. A onesie. And then a pink leopard print thong.

He played it cool, getting ready to toss the thong back into the basket without a word when his father pointed it out. “A leopard thong?”

“Is that the baby’s?” my sister asked, not quite sure what was going on.

Um. No.

Why not share your own underwear stories? Everybody’s got one, right?

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