Lysistrata (the Play) and Aphrodite (the Toy)

Coitus interruptus (sex interrupted) is a literary device that was often used by the Ancient Greeks. In Aristophanes’ play “Lysistrata,” when Myrrhine withholds sex from her husband Cinesias as a ploy to try and stop a war, audiences of the time laughed at her delay tactics.

When it’s happening in real life, whatever the reason, it’s anything but funny. Except in retrospect, of course… That is to say, “someday, you’ll look back and laugh.” I don’t know if “someday” has arrived yet…

The other night, performing painstaking research (I have a very hard job!) for my two-part series on how to make your own porn, everything that could have broken, did. First, we realized the camera’s memory card was loaded up—with baby pictures of all things! My husband was ready with a second card, fortunately. Of course, it took some time to get the camera connected to the tripod, and the tripod positioned in front of the couch.

Then, the camera batteries decided they’d had it. We fumbled around the house looking for two AAs (batteries, I mean… I haven’t seen Double-A cups since junior high). We found the last two fresh batteries in our storage closet. So the camera had to come off the tripod while we re-loaded, and then we had to re-attach it. Now I was getting edgy and just bordering on frustrated, knowing we still had a few minutes (at least) of shooting before we’d get to the actual act.

Then we needed more light. Hubby pulled out a heavy-duty Craftsman flashlight, but that, too, had a dead battery. He replaced it quickly, and gave me a quick kiss and a wink, imploring me silently to have patience. I set myself up on the edge of the couch. With the glaring light… well, it was anything but romantic.

With lights dimmed, we started on phase one of the video—masturbation. He handed me a vibe. A nice, blue 7-inch cock-shaped Doc Johnson with three vibrating speeds. I rubbed it against my clit then turned it on. Or tried to. That’s right. More dead batteries. We stole the batteries from our television remote control, but the vibrator still didn’t work. I’ve had this toy for many years. Let’s just say we’ve put it through the paces.

Knowing my favorite toy had just given its last buzz, my “fuck- me-now” mood vanished. I pulled my partner in close for a deep kiss. “Let’s save the video for another night and just make love,” I said, taking a completely different tact to rekindle my feelings. Sometimes getting creative just doesn’t work and you’re better off relying on the old standards!

And now I have something else to look forward to. The demise of my “go-to” vibe means I get to shop for a replacement. I know exactly what I’m going to buy. The famous Aphrodite, complete with three attachments for every mood (you can even use this toy for all-over body massages!) and (best of all) a 110-volt AC battery charger with rechargeable batteries included. I guess my mention of the Aphrodite brings us full circle to Greek literature references. It’s time to stop reading (for now, of course) and shop!

Here are a few more AC-powered or rechargeable vibes that let you get right to the fun stuff without worries.

Slimline g-spot – This slimline g-spot vibe can’t get any more convenient with one-hand push button operation and a 110/120-volt AC-powered charger.

Lelo GIGI -  If you’re looking for g-spot luxury, we love the Lelo GIGI. Rechargeable batteries offer 1.5 hours of pleasure.

Playpal – If you’re looking for a heated, rechargeable vibrating massager and you’re watching your wallet, check out the Playpal for under $30. It’s waterproof, too!

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