Still kinda’ fresh back from a trip to Portugal; I’ve been giving a lot of thought to my life and what I learned while I was away. I came back with a clear understanding of where I wanted my career to go and the changes that needed to be made in order to get there, which led me to quitting my day job and finally relieving myself of what I considered to be one of the biggest stresses and problems of my life. I also knew that such a drastic move would mean some drastic changes to accommodate my new job: starving writer, which led me to moving out of my beautiful apartment in a trendy neighborhood and back to moms, which of course has its highs and lows. For instance I save on monthly expenses so I can focus more on my craft and less on trying to make ends meet which is definitely a plus, but; I am a writer of erotica and all things sexy, so living and working with mommy in the next room…not so sexy. This of course also makes it hard to get sex at all since as of late I only seem to attract men who live with their parents or ten roommates or ones who are married!

Since we are on the topic of men, let me share with you some of the lessons I learned about dating while I was in my grandparent’s remote village in the interior region of Portugal. I was surrounded by mostly older women (men don’t seem to live nearly as long as women in that village!) who had been living and loving for some seventy-plus years, so I figured that this advice would surely help me leave behind my sad spinster status or even worse my closeted ‘lesbica’ status (the latest village rumor that spread like wildfire from the chapel to the homes across the goat path is that I am not a tragic spinster but instead a ‘lesbica’!). Here are the tips:

~ Don’t wear gauchos or Capri pants as no man will marry a woman who looks as if she works at the fish market or digs clams for a living.

~ Avoid jeans as often as possible as men don’t want to date women who dress as they do. Jeans are for men. Skirts and dresses are for ladies.

~ Don’t laugh too loud out in public to avoid looking like a braying farm animal such as a “cabra

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