Porn Industry Seeks Bailout

It’s so incredible I wonder if they’re actually serious. Larry Flynt of Hustler and Joe Francis, creator of the Girls Gone Wild DVD franchise, are seeking a government bailout for the porn industry. Really.

According to an report posted on TMZ and picked up by The Huffington Post, (among other sites) the adult entertainment moguls are heading out to Washington D.C. seeking $5 billion to insure the future of porn.

The rationale behind the plea, according to an article by the AFP, is that the limp economy is presumably making Americans too depressed to have sex. The $12 billion industry isn’t going anywhere, according to Flynt and Francis, “…but why take chances?”

However, the evidence for a bailout isn’t all that compelling. The pair can’t even get their argument straight. In one breath, Francis says, “”In difficult economic times, Americans turn to entertainment for relief… More and more, the kind of entertainment they turn to is adult entertainment.”

Flynt, however, follows up with: “With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the furthest thing from their mind.”

Granted, politics and economics aren’t my strong suits, but am I missing something here?

Not to say that the government would even entertain the notion, so to speak, of a porn industry bailout, but it shows the slippery slope the bailout has sent the country spiraling down. Where do we draw the line? How many industries should enjoy this large-scale corporate welfare?

Will it end when the government begins printing money like mad to cover our debts, further devaluing the dollar and creating runaway inflation so bad that we’ll be wheeling a barrel of money to the drugstore to buy a box of condoms? Maybe that’s a worst case scenario, but, according to many experts, a plausible outcome.

Doom and gloom predictions aside, the bailout may not work and GM and Chrysler may be out of business before the spring thaw, anyway. Ford, if it survives, may look totally different as a company by this time next year. (Think luxury, niche sports cars and heavy-duty trucks).

But back to the desired porn industry bailout… There’s one other small point Francis seems to conveniently forget: Sex is free. (Financially speaking, that is). Well, unless you’re not careful — then it could cost you as much as $250,000 over the next 18 years. Plus college costs. But I digress once again…

Far be it for a blogger at a site that sells adult toys to admit you don’t really need these accoutrements for a happy and fulfilling sex life, but we have to admit it’s true. I don’t know anyone who could honestly claim that porn is a necessity of life. Nonetheless, if I was forced to part with either my Toyota or my Pocket Rocket…. Let’s just say I’d be riding my bicycle a lot more.

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