Sex in Strange Places

‘Tis the season… for the in-laws to visit. Or maybe you and your sweetheart are traveling this holiday. Either way, the stress of shopping, wrapping, cooking, and decking the halls (all within a budget) leaves you sorely in need of some horizontal relief.

Finding privacy with a house full, though, may require you and your honey to get creative. The following suggestions have all been executed by real-life couples, but caution is still required.

In the UK, the 2003 Sexual Offences Act permits sex in an isolated place as long as you have a reasonable expectation of privacy. But laws in the U.S. vary by state – and often it depends on the disposition of the person who discovers you. Your best bet? Don’t get caught.

1.    In the car. We recommend an empty parking lot to avoid prying familial eyes, but you may find privacy as close as your own garage.

Tip: Bring a towel to protect your upholstery and expect to practice some contortionism.

2.    On a train. Hubby and I successfully pulled off this maneuver right before the last stop, after the conductor made his rounds.

Tip: You may have to hunt to find an empty car. Tuck yourselves into a corner bench seat and keep quiet… A blanket may help, too.

3.    Movie theatre… Dim lighting, a built-in soundtrack… The only negative is the $10 or more price of admission.
Tip: Pick a bomb of a movie at an off-time. Armrests that fold up help, too.

4.    Local park: It’s close, it’s free, and when you need it NOW, it should be easy enough to sneak away for a late-night quickie. If the park has swings—use your imagination!
Tip Don’t forget a blanket and a flashlight.

5. Your office, after-hours. Have your Significant Other meet you right after work. Don’t have your own office? People have successfully pulled off this maneuver in their boss’ office.
Tip: Be very sure there are no video cameras and don’t forget to lock the door!

I admit there are far stranger places to have sex than the ones on these list; consider these “beginner locations.”

Desiree Sweet’s strangest encounter? She recently gave head to a friend while pulled over in a car on a suburban street… He was standing outside the car, with the window open. She’s also gotten busy in a stairwell at a state college, the parking lot behind her office building, and on the side of the New Jersey Turnpike. But she’s got nothing on the couple who had sex in the bathroom at the top of Seattle’s Space Needle.

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