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Is Your Bedroom Ripe for Romance?
July 2, 2009
Did you know that your bedroom décor can impact your sex life? I’m not talking about mirrors hanging from the ceiling or a sex swing in the corner (although they can be great fun!) Simple decorating choices can spice up your love life or turn it into a dud. Follow these tips to spice up your love life by changing your surroundings.
Clear the clutter. The Chinese art of Feng Shui deals with the flow of chi (energy) through a space. If your bedroom doesn’t feel like a sanctuary, it could be related to stagnant chi. Clear the clutter from the space to permit chi to flow freely and make sure there is room on both sides of the bed to walk. Do not store anything under the bed.
Get rid of negative energy. Negative energy may be related to past lovers or arguments with your present mate. Open windows, wash the linens and “air out” the room. Light a sweet-scented candle; strawberry is known to be an aphrodisiac. Some people recommend burning sage to “cleanse” a space.
A second-hand bed – or one you slept in with another lover — may contain “ghosts” of the past in the form of negative energy. Buy a new bed if possible, one that belongs exclusively to you and your lover.
Reduce family influence in the bedroom. Who wants to have sex with a picture of Grandma staring down at you? If you put any pictures in the bedroom, make sure they are happy photos of you and your lover. No parents, no children, no friends. In an extreme case of this mistake, a friend of mine kept an urn with her mother’s ashes in the bedroom. She said it didn’t bother her until my husband pointed it out… but still…
Shut work out (and no workouts, either). Books, paperwork and a desk in the bedroom make it hard to rest, relax – or do much of anything else a bedroom is designed for. Keep anything work-related out of the bedroom to promote an atmosphere of rest and romance. And that exercise bike or weight bench? Unless you’re using it as a prop for sex, put it in another room.
Not too feminine… or masculine. Pink frills and lace are cute for a little girl’s room, but they might make a male lover feel self-conscious. Likewise, a room that is too masculine in its design doesn’t inspire romance. Find a balance with colors like red, coral or deep pink. Blue is a restful color for a good night’s sleep, but balance blue hues with bright red sheets or accessories for passion.
If you’re single and looking for love…
Make space. Does your bedroom have “space” for a lover? Is your bed large enough for two and do you keep the half you don’t sleep in clear? Stocking your bed with stuffed animals, pillows or – worse – dolls from your childhood sends the message there’s no space in your life for a significant other. Some people even go so far as to keep half their closet and dresser drawers empty.
Get a set. A set – meaning a pair – of anything works well in the bedroom. Couple accessories such as lamps, knick-knacks, even nightstands to send the message that the bedroom is a space built for two.
Don’t forget your toys! Single or attached, make sure you have a special space in your room – away from prying eyes – to store your sex toys, lubes and accessories. Whether you put them in a cedar chest or a hat box in the closet, exploring the contents of your toy box should be a ritual wrought with excitement.
And if you decide to hang that sex swing, make sure it’s well-supported by a beam to avoid an embarrassing trip to the emergency room.
New Patch Could Boost Women’s Sex Drives
November 20, 2008
A study published in the New England Journal of Medicine shows that a testosterone patch, marketed by Proctor & Gamble Pharmaceuticals under the name Intrinsa, can enhance the sex drives of postmenopausal women. The patch is placed on the abdomen like the birth control patch and changed twice a week.
Participants in the study wore a patch that released either 300 micrograms of testosterone a day, a patch that released 150 micrograms, or a placebo patch. Women wearing the 300 microgram patch reported an average increase in their “satisfying sexual experiences” of 2.1 times every four weeks. Researchers called the improvement “modest but significant.”
The study was funded by the manufacturer of the patch, following the FDA’s denial of approval for use of the patch in the U.S. in 2004. The FDA cited a lack of long-term safety data as the reason for denial, and the results of the study indicate that further research is still required.
While one of the minor side effects of the hormone therapy—unwanted hair growth—did not bother any of the test subjects enough for them to discontinue use of the patch, a potential, if tenuous, link to breast cancer is more disturbing.
During the study, four out of 814 women receiving either 150 microgram or 300 microgram doses of the hormone were diagnosed with breast cancer, compared to no women in the placebo group. In an article posted on Health.com, Lead Researcher Susan R. Davis, MD, PhD, of Monash University in Australia, called it a “chance finding” that four women in the treatment groups were diagnosed with breast cancer, noting that four breast cancer diagnoses among 814 women during a two-year period is “not unexpected.”
Nevertheless, it seems like a dangerous chance to take for a drug that yields only modest improvements to a woman’s libido.
Not to minimize the impact that menopause and a lack of estrogen can have on a woman’s sex drive, but I’d urge women to investigate more natural methods to boost their libido first, keeping in mind that the most powerful sex organ is the brain. This may be even more true for women than for men; fantasy alone can be a powerful aphrodisiac, as can sexy lingerie, the right mood, and (of course) the right lover’s touch. Lack of lubrication is a true physical symptom in postmenopausal women, but there are plenty of safe lubricants available to solve that stumbling block.
Even if Intrinsa does become available as a “viagra for women,” satisfactory long-term safety trials could mean five years or more before the patch finds its way to a drugstore near you. And if the drug alone yields a marginal improvement in the sex lives of postmenopausal women, combining it with natural mood enhancers should raise the bar for amazing sex well into a woman’s golden years.
Do Aphrodisiacs Exist?
May 23, 2008

From rhinoceros horns to Spanish Fly, even oysters and chocolate-covered strawberries, mankind has relied on natural foods and herbs to boost his libido. But do they work?
According to an FDA report published in 2006, probably not.
But you don’t have to believe the FDA. Even renowned sex expert Dr. Ruth Westheimer has been quoted as saying, “There’s no such thing as a true aphrodisiac.”
It’s more likely that an aphrodisiac’s power lies in a person’s belief that it works… the old placebo effect. The mind is our most powerful sex organ, so if we believe a food will make us sexy, sensual and desirable, it will.
A food’s desire-boosting abilities may also have more to do with the environment in which it is eaten than the food itself. Sucking down oysters during a candlelight dinner, soft music playing, champagne sparkling in fine crystal flutes… Who wouldn’t begin to feel amorous?
The placebo effect is definitely powerful. That’s why certain foods, due to their nutritional value, the physiological effects they have on your body, and centuries of folklore, are considered highly effective aphrodisiacs.
Amy Reiley, author of Fork Me, Spoon Me: The Sensual Cookbook likes ginger, because it makes your tongue tingle and swells your lips, turning them red and kissable, and also raises your body temperature slightly.
You won’t get these effects from a can of Canada Dry, though. Try some fresh ginger in a crisp veggie stir fry or make your own homemade ginger ale to really experience the powerful herb.
Discovery Health recommends asparagus, chili peppers and chocolate for their stimulating powers. Asparagus is rich in Vitamin E, thought to stimulate production of sex hormones. Chili peppers release capsaicin, a chemical that stimulates our nerve endings and also releases endorphins. And dark chocolate—in addition to its creamy, sweet taste and sensual texture—contains phenylethylamine, which gives us a natural high. Recent studies show that dark chocolate not only makes us feel good, it’s good for the heart, too.
Even if the aphrodisiac effect in these foods is purely psychological, nutritionists and sex experts agree that healthy foods are more likely to have long-term positive effects on your sex drive by giving you more energy and helping you look and feel better.
But there’s one aphrodisiac that won’t even count toward your daily caloric intake: regular exercise. The release of testosterone during workouts, along with feel-good endorphins and adrenaline, has been shown to boost the sex drives of both men and women.
A friend of mine says he’s started having sex three times a day since he began working out. I know an hour of bicycle-riding on the weekend always puts me in the mood. Besides, regular exercise will help you look better, feel better about yourself, and give you more energy. What’s not to love about that?
Spring as an Aphrodisiac
March 31, 2008
Despite our iPods, skyscrapers, and 9-5 jobs, human beings are still part of the animal kingdom. We are susceptible to changes in the weather, the waxing and waning of the moon, and all that garbage just like our four-legged friends. One would therefore expect that when one animal species awakens from hibernation and commences the breeding process, we all do. The female of the species engages in “spring cleaning”, ridding the cave or nest of winter’s store of goods, and the male “sows his seed” as much as possible to ensure his genetic survival for future generations. Yes, yes, I know that such a simple three sentences do not account for the less-than-traditional relationships of modern society (or female sexuality other than cleaning!). But we’re animals nonetheless.
So what is it about Spring as a season that gets us in the mood? Maybe it’s the budding trees, the flowering plants, the April showers, and the breath of new life cleansing away the cold and dead winter. Actually, all of that tends to cause severe allergic reactions in me, for which I take copious amounts of antihistamines. And hospitals administer antihistamines for priapism (look it up), so in that respect spring doesn’t exactly jive with being an aphrodisiac.
The Vernal equinox marks the finality of longer, darker nights, bringing us more sunshine and longer days as we approach summer. Why this is a sexy thing, I’m not sure, as most people prefer the lights off when doing “the deed”. Fewer births occur in the Spring than in any other season, while Summer takes the lead in babies born. Simple math and countless research would have us believe that more sex is had in the Winter than in any other season. (Anything to save money on your heating bill…) Additional research shows that sperm count peaks in the colder months and slowly declines as Summer approaches. Not being a research scientist myself, I won’t make any hard conclusions, but the case for Spring as an aphrodisiac so far isn’t looking good!
One time honored tradition that represents youth and virility is, of course, Spring Break. Thousands of college students from around the globe flock to warmer climates for one week during March with the promise of getting laid. This year’s big destination was Key West, Florida - the gayest beach community in America! Sexually frustrated co-eds consume larger-than-normal amounts of alcohol, decreasing inhibition while at the same time inhibiting…um…performance for many over-eager frat dudes. For those sunburned, body-conscious young adults - “Spring has [not] sprung”!
While I generally don’t make a point of arguing with Mother Nature, something has gone awry in the human relationship with Spring. Perhaps our animal brethren don’t have as many societal stresses and imposed expectations, where one day can easily feel like the previous despite the season. If this is indeed the case and it doesn’t matter, then I’d like to propose that Summer be the “New Spring”. It’s hot and sweaty, sperm count is lower (nature’s birth control!) and you don’t have to travel as south as Key West to find fuckable college students.
