Seven Sexy New Year’s Resolutions

It’s the first full week of the New Year. That means it’s not too late to make a New Year’s Resolution! I hope no one has actually broken any of theirs yet, unless they were the kind meant to be broken. (Like giving up sex in 2010… definitely a bad idea!)

So, dear readers, what are your New Year’s Resolutions? I’m sure we have the lion’s share of “quit smoking,” “lose weight” and (my personal favorite) “quit procrastinating.” In 2010, your resident blogger has made a resolution to keep this blog up-to-date with exciting, fun and sometimes educational content – just for you.

In that vein, here are some suggestions for New Year’s Resolutions you won’t mind keeping all year long!

1. Do something new with your lover. You can break open the Kama Sutra and play with whatever position strikes your fancy, have sex outdoors, or make a foray into BDSM. Whatever you choose, do something that is a new experience for both of you.

2. Communicate with your lover. Take time, inside the bedroom or out, to reveal your innermost fantasies. What do you love best about his techniques? What do you wish he’d do more often? Here’s a tip, ladies – long talks during car drives work well. The lack of eye contact makes your man more comfortable and it helps that he has something else to focus on while still giving you the attention you need (and deserve!)

3. Buy a new toy. Expand your bedroom repertoire with the help of a new battery-powered friend. Go for something completely different. If you’ve never used a rabbit-style vibe, I recommend the new WOW series. Want something great for anal play? The Slimline Anal Explorer is a great beginner vibe at a great price.

4. Have more sex. Who couldn’t use a little more love in their life? Make arrangements for lunchtime rendezvous, quickies before breakfast, or long Saturday evening romps through every room in your house. If you’re an “only on weekends” couple, add a weekday into the mix. If you currently have sex once a week or less, aim for two or three times, just for a month, to see how you like it.

5. Make (and keep) a weekly date night. After the hubbub of the holidays, everyone begins to settle back into their normal routine. Why not make a weekly connection with your lover part of your regular 2010 schedule? If you have kids, line up a babysitter. If not – you have less of an excuse.

Date night doesn’t have to be expensive. Order Chinese food and then give each other massages by the fireplace. Use your imagination for low-cost, stay-at-home one-on-one time or splurge with a dinner out at your favorite restaurant. You can decide who, er – what’s – for dessert.

6. Do kegels. Kegels – easy little exercises that tone the PC (Pubococcygeus) muscles have well-documented health benefits. Not only do they help prevent incontinence, they can aid in childbirth. They also help women have more intense orgasms. You can do kegels anywhere, at any time (and no one will know). You can also use ben wa balls for a more intense experience.

7. Use a condom. If you’re not in a monogamous relationship, make 2010 the year you vow to practice safe sex with every partner and use a condom. You’ll find so many fun varieties here at Vibrator.com, you can even use a different style, color or flavor every day of the year!

Lace Thongs, Boxer Briefs & Other Underwear Tales

A few friends gathered at my house the other day and the topic of underwear came up.

“Everyone’s got a good underwear story!” my one friend said. But she’s been known to write fan fiction about BDSM elves, so I’m not sure if she falls into that category of “everyone.”

As I thought about it, though, I realized I did have a few. And a few that are fun to re-tell although they’re not mine. So sit right back and you’ll hear a tale (or three)…

“She forgot to add the fabric softener…”

A friend of mine is an elementary school teacher. At the chalk board one day, she noticed something amiss. You might say she had something up her sleeve. She casually maneuvered her hand to pull a black lace thong out the sleeve of her sweater. Blushing, she tucked the thong into her pocket and continued with the lesson.

“He left these at my house…”

Doing laundry one day I came across a pair of boxer briefs that were decidedly not my husband’s. Now, a friend had visited a few months prior, but I’m still not sure how his underwear didn’t make it to the laundry sooner. So I got to make that fun phone call.

“Um, I think you left underwear at my house…”
“Are you sure?” Let’s just say that yes, I do know what his underwear looks like (when he chooses to wear it.) So I was pretty sure.
“Boxer briefs? Dark gray?”
“Yup.”

It just so happened I’d be seeing my friend’s fiancé at another friend’s bridal shower the next week, so, of course, I brought the underwear. I couldn’t resist handing them to her in front of the bride-to-be’s 76-year-old, never-married aunt. “Your husband left these at my house,” I said, resisting a smirk.

She didn’t bat an eye, took them, and thanked me. It’s fun to make people wonder.

“That’s why I’m the cool aunt…”

Last week, my washing machine broke so I went to my sister’s house to do a load of laundry. Just the necessities: socks, underwear, jeans, and lots and lots of baby clothes. When the dryer finished, I brought the basket of clean clothes into the living room where my sister helped me fold them.

My one-year-old daughter decided she wanted to help and began pulling clothes out of the basket and handing them to her cousin, my 14-year-old nephew. First a shirt. A onesie. And then a pink leopard print thong.

He played it cool, getting ready to toss the thong back into the basket without a word when his father pointed it out. “A leopard thong?”

“Is that the baby’s?” my sister asked, not quite sure what was going on.

Um. No.

Why not share your own underwear stories? Everybody’s got one, right?

6 Sexiest Movies of the 80’s

The world mourned another entertainment icon when Patrick Swayze, 57, lost his two-year battle with pancreatic cancer.

Swayze’s career skyrocketed in 1987 with the release of the sleeper hit, Dirty Dancing. In more recent years, he went into film production and theatre work and also had a continuing role on The Beast television series. IMDB quotes Swayze as saying: “How do you nurture a positive attitude when… statistics say you’re a dead man? You go to work.”

In 1991, he was named Sexiest Man Alive by People magazine. It’s not surprising, then, that Swayze starred in two of what many consider the sexiest movies of that time: Dirty Dancing (1987) and Ghost (1990).

So let’s rewind to the 1980s for a moment – an era when movies began evolving from the subtle onscreen sensuality seen in previous generations to more blatant sexuality. It was the Reagan era: skirts were short, paychecks were large, Madonna danced “Like a Virgin,” and these were the eight sexiest films of the eighties…

Nine and 1/2 Weeks (1986)– In an informal poll, every single person over the age of 35 listed Nine and Half Weeks as the number one sexiest film of the era. I suspect those younger weren’t permitted to watch this film when it was released! With its blatant sexuality and much more than just BDSM “overtones” this movie created scandal when it was first released in 1986. Starring the always sexy Kim Basinger and Mickey Rourke, Nine and ½ Weeks was about as close to soft porn as you could get at that time and still earn an R-rating in U.S. theatres.

Dirty Dancing (1987) – Jennifer Grey’s innocence contrasted with Patrick Swayze’s sheer sensuality epitomized everything a good romance should be. Dirty Dancing entertained us, made us laugh, made us cry, and changed the way we danced. Patrick Swayze also showed off his singing voice in this one; She’s Like the Wind reached #3 on Billboard’s Top 100 and #1 on the Adult Contemporary charts.

Bull Durham (1988) – “I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.” This quote alone places Bull Durham in the number three slot, and also set pretty high standards for make out sessions of the time. Kevin Costner. Susan Sarandon. Baseball. Poetry. Handcuffs. ‘Nuff said.

Footloose (1984) – I honestly can’t think of anything Kevin Bacon was in that wasn’t incredibly sexy on some level, including Waterworld. (You have to love a man who can breathe through his ears.) But this movie launched his career and from those first dance moves to his moving speech in the church, passion is what puts Footloose on my list.

Weird Science (1985) – This one didn’t come to my mind immediately, but in an informal poll enough people endorsed it that I want to add it to the list. Granted, decades later Anthony Michael Hall grew into quite the heartthrob (hey, in a post about the 80s, I get to use words like “heartthrob”) but the film’s real appeal is Kelly LeBrock as the lab-created “Lisa,” who puts the most realistic-looking RealSkin blow-up doll to shame.

Dangerous Liaisons (1988) – The risqué plot involving love games and casual sex puts this one on the list. Hot as can be, with an all-star cast. Michelle Pfeiffer adds to the appeal, although personally, I liked her better as Catwoman in the 1992 Batman Returns.

This list really could go on and on. Honorable mentions include Basic Instinct, American Gigolo, Fatal Attraction and so many others. What’s your favorite sexy movie of the 80s?

Practice Safe Sex

No, this isn’t a post about condoms. Who knew sex toys in the hands (and other anatomy parts) of certain people could be so dangerous?

TheBayNet.com, a local news Web site covering Calvert, St. Mary’s and Charles County, Maryland, reported that a Maryland woman was airlifted to Prince George’s Hospital after an accident involving a vibrator attached to a reciprocating saw blade. According to the report, the blade (quite predictably) sawed through the plastic toy and severely wounded the woman.

The act, however poorly thought-out, was entirely consensual and no charges were pressed.

My question: If the woman was damaged beyond the ability to procreate any longer, can she be nominated as the only living recipient of a Darwin Award?

But what else do you need to know about sex toy safety? (Aside from the obvious: blades sharp enough to cut through wood and metal should not be used in sex play!)

- Make sure a toy is waterproof before you put it in the water. Hint: if it’s got wires and an A/C adapter, it’s not waterproof! Battery-operated toys will specify on the packaging whether or not they are manufactured for water play.

- Butt plugs have wide bases for a reason. Do not insert them past that base, or you risk a rather embarrassing trip to the ER. And it’s happened. According to this article, in fact, it happens quite often.

- Do not place anything other than a sex toy designed for that purpose into any orifice. That means gerbils, food items (which can cause infections), or anything that could, well, get stuck up there. If you feel an urge to insert anything other than a sex toy, there are vibrators available shaped like cell phones, lipstick tubes, even a rubber ducky (and yes, it’s waterproof!)

- Clean all sex toys well before and after each use. As a general rule, most toys can be cleaned with a wet or damp cloth and mild soap or with an anti-bacterial toy cleaner. Only submerge toys which are waterproof. Read more about how to care for your sex toys here.

- Never use a toy in your vagina that’s been used in your (or someone else’s) ass before cleaning. You risk a nasty urinary tract infection due to bacteria.

- Be aware of the potential hazards of phthalate-based sex toys (often called jelly rubber.) While this flexible, silky material feels great the use pthalates in women of child-bearing age has been linked to birth defects. Additionally, the material, which is porous, can harbor bacteria and other germs. You may want to cover your phthalate-based sex toy with a condom. Carefully inspect all sex toys—but especially phthalate-based toys—for signs of wear or discoloration before use.

- Glass sex toys can crack or splinter. Inspect all glass toys before use. If you drop a glass toy on a hard surface, it is no longer safe to use, as it could crack unexpectedly from the stress of being dropped.

- Candles can be beautiful to create a romantic setting, and if you’re into BDSM, you can do all sorts of fun things with the wax, too. But accidents can happen, so keep a fire extinguisher close by if you are burning candles, and never leave a burning candle unattended. Make sure to extinguish before you fall asleep, as well.

Some of these pointers may seem obvious, but, in the heat of the moment, (or when alcohol is involved in sex play) everyone can use a reminder every once in a while. Be safe and have fun!

How to Make a Porno, Part 2

In a previous post, How to Make a Porno, Part 1, we covered what you need to put together your own X-rated masterpiece. This post will talk about camera angles, video editing, and what to do with your porn once it’s produced.

You’re ready to film! The most important thing to remember is to relax. You can forget the camera’s there if it will make you feel better, or you might want to ham it up and peer seductively at the lens for an uber-sexy shot. Don’t forget to striptease for the camera. Shoes, if they are sexy stilettos, can stay on for the duration of the scene.

Some shots are a standard in most porno flicks. You may want to include some (or all) of these:

Close-up of penetration – For a really sexy view, have the woman place one leg on a sofa, and then hold the camera down below, pointing upward.

Masturbation shots – These are even hotter when they take place during penetration. Try different angles to get the best view.

Spanking – Mild BDSM, including spanking or simple restraints, gives your video that naughty, “more than vanilla” feel.

Don’t forget to pan up to capture facial expressions, especially when she cums.

Cum shots – You can’t go wrong with a facial. Or a nice, dripping wet cream pie. Another favorite is to cum on her tits and then have her rub it all over herself, and letting her pause to lick her fingers. These final moments can put your amateur film over-the-top, so to speak, so you’ll want to make sure it’s a moment to remember. Take a few minutes before you start your film to discuss and decide how you want it to end.

To keep it interesting, remember to switch positions and camera angles often. No one (probably not even the movie-makers) wants to watch two people banging in missionary position for 20 minutes.

If you have basic video editing software, you can keep the best scenes and toss the ones you don’t like, or cut any scene that goes too long. You can also use editing software to cut from scene to scene, avoiding any on-screen panning and zooming, which can make some viewers dizzy or ill. But by leaving in all the transitions, you’ll give your movie a homemade “Cloverfield” feel.

You can also play around with lighting for some cool effects, or go for a darker look, perhaps with faces in the shadows.

Now that you’ve made your very first porno, you can think about avenues of distribution… Just kidding! The safest place for your homemade porn is a file folder buried a few levels deep on your computer’s hard drive, with some innocuous name that makes sense only to you and your partner. Or you can simply burn a DVD and keep it in the bottom of a dresser drawer.

If you decide you really want to share your work of art with the world, remember—it’s potentially very easy for people to stumble across your DVD if you post it on YouTube, even if you don’t use your name. Would you really want a co-worker to see how you spent your weekend?

Keep Your BDSM Toys Looking New

Do you plan on treating your lover to some new BDSM toys for the holidays?  Chances are you want to keep them looking new well into next Christmas and beyond.  Who wants to be whipped with a dingy cat-o-nine-tails or tied up with tarnished restraints?

You can get these cleaning tips for leather, cotton blends and metal from Heloise and others, for sure, but no domestic guru will talk about these specific applications.  Let Vibrator.com be your care and cleaning guide for BDSM toys!

Cleaning leather

You can buy fancy leather conditioners such as saddle soap, or even pay to have your leather professionally cleaned, but it’s not necessary.  The cleaning experts at Everyday Economics recommend baby wipes to clean all kinds of leather: from your sofa to your slave’s garb!

Test the wipe on an inconspicuous area first.  If all is well and the dye doesn’t come off the leather, fold the wipe and rub it across the entire surface in small circles.  You should see dirt transferring to the wipe.  Some dye may come off, too, but not enough to discolor the leather.  When you’re finished, use a fresh wipe across the entire surface to remove any remaining dirt.  If the baby wipes have moisturizer in them, that also helps condition the leather.

For stubborn stains, EverydayEC.com recommends a Magic Eraser.   It’s best to try to remove any stains, including blood, while they are still fresh.  Fresh stains can probably be rubbed out with a baby wipe or a damp cloth.

Don’t store your leather toys or clothing in plastic bags, as it will breed mildew.  Store leather in a breathable bag in a cool, dry place out of direct sunlight.  If you do need to remove mildew from your leather, sponge the leather with a solution that is equal parts rubbing alcohol and water.  You can read more about cleaning leather in this article.

Cleaning bloodstains

We recommend rubber sheets for hardcore BDSM play that may result in the loss of a lot of different bodily fluids.  Sanitary and inexpensive, if you’re pretty sure there will be blood, rubber sheets are the safest way to clean up.

But sometimes, you may not mean to draw blood and there you are with a stain on your sheets!  What to do?

First, do not wait for the stain to set, or you’re pretty much out of luck.  As soon as possible, use a sponge dampened with cold water to gently rub the blood out, working from the center of the stain outward.

If any blood remains, apply a wet spotter stain remover with an absorbent pad.  On cotton sheets, you can add a few drops of ammonia. (Do not use ammonia on silk, satin or wool).  Keep the pad on the stain as long as necessary, changing it as it becomes saturated. When the stain is out, rinse the area with cold water.  You can clean cotton sheets by pre-treating with a stain remover and laundering in cold water.

Cleaning stainless steel and brushed nickel

The metal parts of your BDSM gear are probably the easiest to clean, with many options available, from window cleaner to lemon juice.  Don’t use an abrasive cleaner such as Brillo, which will mar the finish.  Lemon juice will keep stainless steel fresh and clean, and baby oil adds a nice shine.  For brushed nickel finishes, stick with a solution of dish soap and water, applied with a soft cloth.

Our Quiz Reveals the Best Gift for Your Gal

The holiday season is upon us. Yes. Really. Didn’t you know as soon as Halloween is over, it’s officially time to start decking the halls?

Fortunately, Vibrator.com is here to make all your shopping go just a little bit more smoothly. We bring you this quick quiz to help you pick out the best toy for your girl. Don’t worry, boys… you’re next.

1. It’s happy hour. Your lady is most likely to order:

A. Budweiser
B. Cosmo
C. Whiskey, straight up
D. Bahama Mama

2. Your girlfriend’s favorite reality TV show is:

A. She doesn’t watch reality TV.
B. Top Chef
C. Temptation Island
D. Drawn Together

3. It’s her turn to pick the movie. It’s…

A. Sleepless in Seattle
B. The Terminator
C. Kill Bill
D. American Pie

4. Your significant other’s dream date would be:

A. Dinner at that cozy little Italian place and a horse and carriage ride
B. Dinner and drinks at an A-list hot spot and a Cirque du Soleil show
C. Base jumping in the Rocky Mountains
D. Caroline’s Comedy Club followed by a walk through Central Park

5. Her favorite position?
A.    Missionary
B.    Just one?
C.    Girl-on-top
D.    Doggie Style

6. The superhero she most identifies with is:
A. Superman
B. Spiderman
C. Batman
D. Mrs. Incredible

7. Your girl’s favorite subject in school was
A. Math
B. English
C. Gym
D. Lunch

8. Her house is decorated in…

A. Classic contemporary
B. Only the best: solid wood floors, leather sofas and complete luxury
C. Gothic: lots of velvet, in a red and black color scheme
D. Ikea specials, with a few whimsical street fair finds thrown in

9. Her next car is most likely to be a…

A.    Toyota Camry
B.    Mercedes-Benz C Class sedan
C.    Porsche
D.    Volkswagen Beetle

10. Her favorite holiday tradition is…

A.    Decorating the tree.
B.    A sleigh ride followed by hot chocolate cuddled up in front of a roaring fire
C.    Flirting with her cubicle mate during the office party
D.    Watching the Grinch

Mostly As-
Anything beyond the basic may scare your vanilla sweetie. Try Doc Johnson’s Little Pearl and maybe one day she’ll work her way up to the Decadent Indulgence III.

Mostly Bs—
It’s all about passion for your partner. Why not try a set of massage oils and the luxurious Lelo NEA?

Mostly Cs—
Your BDSM babe deserves more than coal in her (fishnet) stockings. For the dom who has everything, try these classy, sensual and oh-so-naughty Japanese silk rope ankle cuffs and a new ball gag.

Mostly Ds—
Your lover believes laughter makes everything better—and bedroom antics are no exception. Tickle her clit with vibrating panties or try this whimsical cell phone vibe.

BDSM for Beginners

Does a light smack on the bottom get you wiggling with delight? Have you joked with your lover about being tied up, but never had the nerve to try it? Do pink furry handcuffs seem silly—or sexy? It’s easier than you might think to introduce light BDSM activities into your bedroom!
BDSM stands for bondage & discipline; domination & submission; and sadomasochism (or S&M). BDSM activities evoke intense sexual pleasure through pain, fear or humiliation (or all three) between consenting adults.

As in all sexual activities, trust, communication and safety are paramount.

Experts advise that conversations regarding sex take place outside the bedroom, rather than in the heat of the moment. This is reasonable advice. But I can’t see, “Pass the salt and, oh, I’d like you to tie me up and flog me tonight,” going over well at the dinner table.

Find a time and place that works for you and your partner, whether it’s during a long car ride or at night before you drift off to sleep.

One thing you’ll want to discuss is limits. Maybe you’re comfortable, as a sub,with “anything he wants.” He, on the other hand, is squeamish about doing anything that will hurt you. That’s okay. Plenty of activities don’t involve overt pain, but will evoke desirable, sexy fear and humiliation to satisfy a sub’s cravings. When you make your foray into BDSM, start slow.

A safe word tells the “top” (dominating) partner to stop what he’s doing. It should be a word not normally uttered during play, so it won’t be used accidentally or misunderstood. Some couples use “green,” “yellow” and “red” to indicate “continue,” “continue, slowly,” or “stop.” If you’re using a ball gag, you’ll have to decide on non-verbal cues (or a series of grunts) as a safe “word.”

Whether you’re a top or bottom, BDSM will evoke unique emotions of power and control or fear and pain, respectively. Some subs report that the adrenaline rush dulls the pain while heightening orgasmic pleasure.

A blindfold can create intense anticipation as the sub is left wondering what part of the body might be stimulated next. The loss of sight also intensifies the other senses. The dom enjoys the power and the pleasure of eliciting such extreme ecstasy in his or her sub.

A dom can also take control by restraining his partner with handcuffs, silk ropes or cuff restraints. Many “all-in-one” beginner kits provide the basics to get started.

You may want to try rubber-coated nipple clamps, which create a blend of pain and excitement, or a feather tickler for harmless, yet torturous, fun. Cock rings can be great for male subs, resulting in more intense orgasms…when his Dominatrix finally lets him cum.

If you’ve dreamed of experiencing complete loss of power at the hands of your lover, or being the one in charge during your next adventure, why not give it a try?

Rekindling the Spark

Any long term relationship is bound to get a little mundane every now and then. Even the sickly sweet, madly in love couples eventually get distracted with children, bogged down in debt, and stressed by work and social commitments. Having sex with the same person after a few years can be like eating the same meal day in and day out: It may be delicious and your absolute favorite, but something about it leaves your pallet wanting a new taste.

This is common among married couples or long-term partners and is generally not an indication of how you feel for each other. Unfortunately, sometimes the wires get crossed and we react by withdrawing, having affairs, or taking out that unfulfilled anger on our loved ones.

Your relationship does not have to be over. Focus your energy on igniting new desires and sustaining the ones that brought you both together to begin with. Here are a few ideas to help get the blood pumping.

Watch an XXX movie together

While it’s true that many couples initially reject the idea, most will try it at least once. Women like pornography too! (Most don’t like to admit it, but the right kind of movie can turn her on instantly.) It is advisable to steer clear of anything too extreme unless you’re keenly aware of your partner’s interests and fantasies. Remember, this is about turning your partner on and not about sending your partner running for the hills. Exploring what gets you both in the mood can be a new learning experience.

Set the atmosphere

Write your partner a modest song or poem. Lay a trail of her favorite candy from the door to the shower where you’ve thoughtfully placed a dozen roses. Be open with your feelings and don’t be afraid to tell your partner how much you love them. Light some candles or incense. This should set the fire in both of you.

A bit of BDSM

Many people are secretly aroused by the thought of being tied up. Play cautiously in this area as you are exploring each others’ boundaries and trust. Bring an article of clothing like a necktie to bed. Test the waters by gently restraining your partner’s hands and wrists during foreplay. Pay close attention to your partner’s reactions. If all seems well then reach for the necktie and slowly and loosely place the tie around your partner’s wrists. Kiss and caress your partner and take your time! Like in many aspects of your relationship, communication will be key.

Putting food to good use

Strawberries and whipped cream are the staples of erotic foods and can be sensually fed to your partner in or out of the bedroom. Run a honey covered finger across your partner’s lips and see how quickly your finger ends up in her mouth. Covering your lover in whipped cream and licking it off may sounds cliché, but it does work for some. Feeding your partner resembles kissing and fellatio, and if discreetly performed outside the bedroom, act as occasional reminders of sexy things to come. Advancing these ideas in a public place may help you discover the exhibitionist or voyeur in the person you thought you knew so well.

Throughout your fast-paced days, take the time to slow down and be in the moment with the one you love. Listen to each other. Compromise. Be caring and compassionate. Above all else, be attentive to your partner’s needs, both in and out of the bedroom.