Does a light smack on the bottom get you wiggling with delight? Have you joked with your lover about being tied up, but never had the nerve to try it? Do pink furry handcuffs seem silly—or sexy? It’s easier than you might think to introduce light BDSM activities into your bedroom!
BDSM stands for bondage & discipline; domination & submission; and sadomasochism (or S&M). BDSM activities evoke intense sexual pleasure through pain, fear or humiliation (or all three) between consenting adults.

As in all sexual activities, trust, communication and safety are paramount.

Experts advise that conversations regarding sex take place outside the bedroom, rather than in the heat of the moment. This is reasonable advice. But I can’t see, “Pass the salt and, oh, I’d like you to tie me up and flog me tonight,” going over well at the dinner table.

Find a time and place that works for you and your partner, whether it’s during a long car ride or at night before you drift off to sleep.

One thing you’ll want to discuss is limits. Maybe you’re comfortable, as a sub,with “anything he wants.” He, on the other hand, is squeamish about doing anything that will hurt you. That’s okay. Plenty of activities don’t involve overt pain, but will evoke desirable, sexy fear and humiliation to satisfy a sub’s cravings. When you make your foray into BDSM, start slow.

A safe word tells the “top” (dominating) partner to stop what he’s doing. It should be a word not normally uttered during play, so it won’t be used accidentally or misunderstood. Some couples use “green,” “yellow” and “red” to indicate “continue,” “continue, slowly,” or “stop.” If you’re using a ball gag, you’ll have to decide on non-verbal cues (or a series of grunts) as a safe “word.”

Whether you’re a top or bottom, BDSM will evoke unique emotions of power and control or fear and pain, respectively. Some subs report that the adrenaline rush dulls the pain while heightening orgasmic pleasure.

A blindfold can create intense anticipation as the sub is left wondering what part of the body might be stimulated next. The loss of sight also intensifies the other senses. The dom enjoys the power and the pleasure of eliciting such extreme ecstasy in his or her sub.

A dom can also take control by restraining his partner with handcuffs, silk ropes or cuff restraints. Many “all-in-one” beginner kits provide the basics to get started.

You may want to try rubber-coated nipple clamps, which create a blend of pain and excitement, or a feather tickler for harmless, yet torturous, fun. Cock rings can be great for male subs, resulting in more intense orgasms…when his Dominatrix finally lets him cum.

If you’ve dreamed of experiencing complete loss of power at the hands of your lover, or being the one in charge during your next adventure, why not give it a try?