There’s a little fantasy of mine where I’m sprawled out in my tub, water from the shower cascading down onto my clit, with my vibe tucked neatly right where it belongs… and my husband walks in.

He doesn’t want to join in, just wants to watch me go through my repertoire. Other women may be mortified at the idea, but I can think of few things sexier. Besides, imagine all the tips your lover will pick up by watching you do what you’ve been doing for years?

If I’m feeling particularly imaginative, I’ll add another element to the fantasy, where he asks:  “Can I help?” There’s nothing hotter. And ladies, if you happen to walk in on your man while he’s checking out his porn collection, I encourage you to try the phrase. You may never see a bigger smile (among other things).

So what if you actually do have the opportunity to try out your sex toys with your partner? First, release your inhibitions. If you’ve been playing alone for a while, it might seem strange to have someone else involved in what used to be just you and your Pearl Lotus.

Some men may feel as if they’re in competition with the toy. After all, it might be bigger, more flexible, and it’s definitely got more functions. Make sure not to neglect his part when you bring your battery-operated friend into the bedroom.

Starting off with a toy that looks nothing like a penis may ease any trepidations he may have. You may even start with something small and basic, a standard “beginner vibe” or a small bullet vibe. With a remote control bullet, you can give him the controller, putting all the power in his hands.

Both bullets and basic vibes feel amazing rubbed on your clit during the act of sex. Doggy-style works best, but you can even use the vibe when you’re face to face. If he’s up to it, rub the vibe, on a low setting, gently against his balls. Gauge his reaction and then rev it up. Most men will love it.

If you’ve never experienced double stimulation with an anal vibe in the girl-on-top position, this is a must-try — and something you can’t really do to the same effect alone.

As you get more comfortable with gadgets, there are plenty of couple’s toys on the market, too. The Ultimate Couples Sensuous Sexual Enhancer is a cock ring and clit vibe with pleasure knobs all in one. You’ll both feel the powerful, stimulating vibes.

For powerful internal vibrations during love-making, there’s only one way to go: The unique “We Vibe” vibrator. This waterproof, rechargeable silicone vibe provides pleasure for both partners. And it looks nothing like a cock, just in case you can’t get your man to get over that particular hang-up.

So what are you waiting for? It’s time to take your toys out of the closet!

There are people who love anal play—and those who haven’t tried it.

Maybe that’s an exaggeration. Some men are too squeamish to even entertain the idea. But for many men, once they’ve released those inhibitions and experienced prostate stimulation for the first time, they find it a fun and intimate addition to their love life.

There are two important rules to remember for safe anal play between monogamous partners.

1). While ass-to-mouth is a personal choice, never, ever (that’s never!) go ass-to-vagina. Not with the cock, not with a finger, and not with a toy that hasn’t been thoroughly cleaned first. It can cause urinary tract infections and other icky and painful ailments.

2). Too much lube is almost enough lube!

Anal play is probably not a topic most men want to discuss outside the bedroom. The best tactic is to make a move in the throes of ecstasy and see how he responds.

These same rules and techniques apply to women and anal stimulation. Although women don’t have a prostate, the anal area contains one of the largest concentrations of nerve endings, making it one of the more sensitive parts of the male or female body.

If you have long nails, place cotton balls in the finger tips of a latex (or in the case of a latex allergy, synthetic rubber) glove. The glove will create a smooth sensation and the cotton will prevent injury due to sharp finger nails. If your nails are already short, make sure they are filed with no rough edges.

Even inserting just a finger, you’ll want to use some lube. You can use your own juices if you’re extremely wet, but a lubricant like Doc Johnson’s Anal Lube will help ensure a good, smooth experience.

Try moving your finger in and out a few times while he gets accustomed to the sensation. You’ll find the prostate a few inches above the anus, on the belly side. Finding it is similar to finding a woman’s g-spot. In fact, it’s sometimes called the “male g-spot.”

Combining prostate stimulation with a blow job or hand job can create unprecedented pleasure. But men can have an amazing orgasm from prostate stimulation alone. Massage the prostate in the same way you would the g-spot, with a rubbing, “come here” motion.

If your guy likes the feeling of your finger up there, you may want to introduce a toy. Anal probes range in size from “starter models,” measuring a slender 1-inch across, to thicker, 2 or 3-inch models with varying-sized bulbs or ribs for increased pleasure.

For beginners, look for a slender butt plug with a thick base; it will be easier to control. Thicker plugs can create a great feeling of being “filled up,” but you’ll want to work your way up to larger models.

This slender jelly toy features a smooth shaft on one side and pleasure bulbs measuring up to an inch on the other, making it a toy that will “grow with you” as you become more adventurous and want the sensation of graduated bulbs.

Anal probes and plugs are usually manufactured from PVC jelly, rubber, silicone or glass. Don’t forget the lube!

You can also try a vibrating probe, such as this waterproof anal vibe from Doc Johnson.

Remember to go slow. It will build up anticipation and minimize pain or the chance of dangerous rips to delicate skin.

Once you and your lover start exploring anal play, you’ll find hundreds of toys, in every price range, available to help.