Change of weather. Colds and flu. Back-to-school. Holiday displays side-by-side with back-to-school sales. Is there anything about fall that isn’t stress-inducing?

Experts agree that sex is a great stress-buster. But getting in the mood with a million things on your mind isn’t easy. Contrary to clichés and popular belief, lack of a sex drive affects both genders when life gets hectic.

Some people, however, turn to sex when things get tough. Are these lucky types naturally conditioned for this healthy response, or have they trained themselves over time to know that sex will make them feel better, so why not just do it?

When two partners handle stress differently—one turning to carnal diversions, the other shutting down—that just adds another stressor to your life. You crave more nooky while your partner crawls further into that emotional hidey-hole (and not the fun one, either!)

So what’s a stressed-out, horny girl or guy to do? Sure, you could turn to Vibrator.com’s huge array of toys, but sometimes you crave emotional intimacy, too. Try these tantalizing seduction tactics to show your partner that the studies are right—sex is a stress-buster.

• Don’t push, just suggest. Every lover should have at least one move that she knows makes her partner melt; it’s time to use it. This soft-core tactic should work if the stress level isn’t too high – particularly if it’s been a while for both of you.

• Start with massage. Non-threatening, relaxing and seductive, if a massage doesn’t end in one of your favorite positions that night, it may just give your partner the stress relief she needs to get in the mood the next day. Or maybe she’ll be so appreciative of the massage, she’ll feel she “owes you one.” Either way, mission(ary) accomplished.

• Play. My husband and I play paintball together, bicycle regularly, and are always on the lookout for other fun athletic activities. Since exercise (much like sex) boosts your mood and alleviates stress – and extreme sports or healthy competition creates an adrenaline rush that helps you forget all your problems – fun vertical activities may lead to horizontal adventures.

• Get away. Who has time or money for a vacation right now? If that’s out of the question, take a weekend trip: no cell phones, no lap top, no Blackberry.  Make sure to pack the lingerie and the water toys, but don’t put pressure on your partner. You’re there to relax. If he’s not feeling better by Saturday afternoon, try some of the tactics above.  A nice hotel or cozy Bed and Breakfast just a few hours away from home is a great place to try these diversions.

From rhinoceros horns to Spanish Fly, even oysters and chocolate-covered strawberries, mankind has relied on natural foods and herbs to boost his libido. But do they work?

According to an FDA report published in 2006, probably not.

But you don’t have to believe the FDA. Even renowned sex expert Dr. Ruth Westheimer has been quoted as saying, “There’s no such thing as a true aphrodisiac.”

It’s more likely that an aphrodisiac’s power lies in a person’s belief that it works… the old placebo effect. The mind is our most powerful sex organ, so if we believe a food will make us sexy, sensual and desirable, it will.

A food’s desire-boosting abilities may also have more to do with the environment in which it is eaten than the food itself. Sucking down oysters during a candlelight dinner, soft music playing, champagne sparkling in fine crystal flutes… Who wouldn’t begin to feel amorous?

The placebo effect is definitely powerful. That’s why certain foods, due to their nutritional value, the physiological effects they have on your body, and centuries of folklore, are considered highly effective aphrodisiacs.

Amy Reiley, author of Fork Me, Spoon Me: The Sensual Cookbook likes ginger, because it makes your tongue tingle and swells your lips, turning them red and kissable, and also raises your body temperature slightly.

You won’t get these effects from a can of Canada Dry, though. Try some fresh ginger in a crisp veggie stir fry or make your own homemade ginger ale to really experience the powerful herb.

Discovery Health recommends asparagus, chili peppers and chocolate for their stimulating powers. Asparagus is rich in Vitamin E, thought to stimulate production of sex hormones. Chili peppers release capsaicin, a chemical that stimulates our nerve endings and also releases endorphins. And dark chocolate—in addition to its creamy, sweet taste and sensual texture—contains phenylethylamine, which gives us a natural high. Recent studies show that dark chocolate not only makes us feel good, it’s good for the heart, too.

Even if the aphrodisiac effect in these foods is purely psychological, nutritionists and sex experts agree that healthy foods are more likely to have long-term positive effects on your sex drive by giving you more energy and helping you look and feel better.

But there’s one aphrodisiac that won’t even count toward your daily caloric intake: regular exercise. The release of testosterone during workouts, along with feel-good endorphins and adrenaline, has been shown to boost the sex drives of both men and women.

A friend of mine says he’s started having sex three times a day since he began working out. I know an hour of bicycle-riding on the weekend always puts me in the mood. Besides, regular exercise will help you look better, feel better about yourself, and give you more energy. What’s not to love about that?