NY Hotel Sets New Standard for Public Sex

We all know sex sells. But a luxurious New York City hotel has created a unique brand of free publicity with its floor-to-ceiling picture windows in each room. The windows provide guests with a spectacular view of the NYC skyline and nearby High Line Park in the meatpacking district. But they also create quite a spectacle for outsiders looking in.

A racy ad referring to the 18-story Standard Hotel’s opening during construction had a sexy lady clad only in a tool belt declaring, “We’ll put up with your banging if you put up with ours.” And the hotel’s blog and Facebook page specifically requested erotic photos of hotel guests.

Everything, from the full-length windows to the all-glass shower located in the center of the all-glass room, declares the Standard an exhibitionist’s paradise. And New Yorkers and out-of-towners have taken advantage, having sex, masturbating, or simply posing nude in front of the windows, much to the joy of camera-wielding passersbys. One report even cited a naked girl jumping up and down on a trampoline right in front of a window.

Then the New York Post and City Council Speaker Christine Quinn decided to rain on this naked parade. After a report in Monday’s Post, Quinn phoned hotel management, who vowed to make “a concerted effort to remind guests of the transparency of the guest room windows.”

However, Post reporters following up undercover as hotel guests received no such reminder, although the request for erotic photos had vanished from the hotel’s Web site.

Clearly, I’m no prude. And I’m definitely not offended by sex acts – public or otherwise. But I have to agree with the politicians and the Post in this situation. 1). Hotel guests are engaged in illegal acts of indecent exposure. 2). There are children in the park. Anyone who’s been around children should know it’s nearly impossible to keep children from looking at something you don’t want them to see, short of removing the offending material or removing the children from the area.

Then the cynical New Yorker in me thinks, if people having sex 18 stories up is the worst thing your kids see in the city, it’s a good day.

As I come to the close of this report, though, I remember the original idea of exposure in front of the full-length windows began as a PR ploy, with hotel staff posing nude in front of the windows during the hotel’s opening to attract attention. I’d never heard of the Standard prior to the Post’s report, and I’m sure I’m not the only one. Brilliant marketing. And it worked for nearly a year.

Both the exhibitionist and voyeur in me thinks a visit to the Standard might be fun. I better hurry, before the curtains close (and rightfully so) in this unique New York City landmark.

What’s Your Favorite Fetish?

The DSM-IV, the text book psychologists and doctors use to diagnose mental illnesses, defines sexual fetishes as recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies, urges or behaviors involving the use of non-living objects, which cause clinically-significant distress or impairment in normal functioning. Experts call such fetishes, which interfere with a normal sex life, paraphilia.

However, many people use a fetish to describe any “unusual” and recurring sexual behavior. It doesn’t interfere with the person’s job or social life, and may even enhance a couple’s sex life.

History of the Fetish

The word fetish, by most accounts, originates from the Portuguese word “Feitico” meaning “false” and refers to the transfer of power from one object to a substitute. For instance, rather than being turned on by an entire woman, her sexual power is transferred only to her breasts, or feet, or lingerie she’s wearing.

Some experts claim fetishes are established from incidents that take place while masturbating during puberty. The person becomes fixated on object which is not normally associated with sex (in other words, you can’t actually have a vibrator fetish!) in order to become aroused.

That may be true about actual, clinical fetishes that interfere with a patient’s life. What people commonly refer to as “fetishes,” – non-vanilla sexual preferences – more likely come about due to a sense of sexual adventure, experimentation, and the desire to keep things exciting in the bedroom.

Is it a Problem?

Do you have an actual fetish or just a preference? If you can get aroused without using, seeing or even thinking about the object or body part, it’s merely a preference. If you absolutely need it for sex, it’s a fetish.

Whether you should get treatment depends on if it’s preventing you from functioning normally—in and out of the bedroom. If you have a fetish and an understanding partner more than happy to humor your fetish, keep it up (so to speak).

Types of Fetishes

Many different fetishes exist, and we covered some of the more unusual ones in the post “They Like What?” But all fetishes fall into one of three categories:

Media: A media fetish emphasizes the material of an inanimate object. Like leather, lace, rubber, latex or silk? That’s a media fetish.

Form: A form fetishes focuses on the shape of an object rather than its texture. A balloon fetish is both a form and media fetish, while an attraction to high heels is purely a form fetish. Casting, for the person viewing the cast, would be a form fetish, while for the wearer, it is a media fetish.

Animate: Any fetish involving living things or even body parts, from hamsters to human feet, is considered animate.

Askmen.com published a list, based on a reader survey, of the top ten most popular fetishes. The top five?

1. Voyeurism & exhibitionism

2. Golden showers

3. Water

4. Braids, ponytails and pigtails

5. Fingernails and lipstick

We’ll explore these and other fetishes in future posts. What’s your favorite fetish?

How to Make a Masturbation Video

If you’re looking for a great surprise that’s sure to get your lover revved up, why not give him a video? Masturbation videos of yourself are quick, easy to make, and don’t require any coordination between two parties. When it comes to making a porno, it doesn’t get any easier than this.

All you need is a video camera, a place to prop the video camera (a tripod, dresser or table) and your own two hands. Or one. Add some colorful toys if you want to make it really hot. Make sure you record the video in a well-light room, with the lighting at your back to avoid shadows.

Slip the CD in the computer hard drive so it’s the first thing your lover views when they boot up the home computer in the morning, or tuck it into their briefcase—with a note to only view the vid with the office door closed!

Here are some tips to make sure that video makes your lover’s day.

1.    Keep it short and switch it up. Sure, masturbation is hot. And of course you’re lover’s going to want to watch this. Try different techniques, different camera angles and different positions. Whatever you do, no matter how wild and crazy you get, keep the entire video down to five minutes or less. There’s a lot less variety in any type of masturbation than there is in other sexual activity, and any more than five minutes of the same-old, same-old gets… well, old.

2.    Talk! When my husband and I recorded some masturbation videos for close friends, I was told that he enjoyed the scenery, but when I started talking, that put him over the top. Address the camera with those wide, “fuck-me” eyes and tell the viewer exactly what you would like them to do to you, right now.  Don’t forget the moans, groans, and passionate sighs, either.

3.    Use toys. Most of the guys I talked to about what they’d like to see in a masturbation vid gave me a one-word answer: TOYS! The bigger and more colorful they are, the better! Doc Johnson’s 7-inch pink jelly dong with balls offers a large base to hold and manipulate the pretty pink cock. I also can’t resist the look of the glittery, 7-inch hot pink devil dick for video fun!

4.    The climax. Ladies, don’t let any orgasm go unseen. Play it up “When Harry Met Sally”-style for the camera. Scream, wriggle, writhe… even call out his name! Whether you cum with a toy or your own two fingers, make it one to remember. Ideally, you’ve set up the camera so he can view your face, too… Look straight into the camera for a sexy solo finale.

Guys, think about where you’re going to shoot that final cum shot, and how you’re going to make it special. Straight up in the air will offer a wonderful cascade of on-camera cum without creating a mess on the lens. You may want to set up a towel on the floor before you begin for easy clean-up. Again, don’t forget to ham it up with moans and groans.

A masturbation video is a perfect first foray into “film-making.” It’s easy to release your inhibitions with no one else around and with only one person involved and not a lot of large-scale movement, there are less logistical concerns. You can even use the video as a gentle way to show your lover what you really like.

New Site Gives “Wanderlust” New Meaning

In a recent post, your resourceful romancer, Desiree Sweet, talked about public places that are relatively safe to sneak a quickie.

A unique new Web site, outdoorlovemap.com, puts some organized effort into the concept.  Deemed “the International Guide to Places to Make Love Outdoors,” the Wiki-style site (which means the site grows as users contribute information) lists 63 lustful locations in 19 countries. It’s been reviewed—and praised—in several places on the Web.

Locations, which range from beach to public parks and even a zoo(!), are rated on a scale of one to five stars for privacy, comfort and legality.  Listings include GPS coordinates and a map powered by Google.

Right now, the site is too small to be very practical.  I typed New York City into its search engine and got locations ranging from Virginia Beach to the Cayman Islands, with nothing closer. I can name at least five locations in the tri-state area, right off the top of my head. And if I started thinking, I could come up with many more than that… including a few transitory locations. (Think Long Island Railroad…)

Outdoorlovemap’s best feature is the user-posted stories about the places listed. Some are simply one-line promptings, such as the listing for the famous “Lawn” at the University of Virginia, which tells readers that it’s tradition to have sex on the lawn.  Others, however, go into explicitly detailed stories about sexual experiences in interesting places. Whether you’re visiting the site for a good read or seeking a practical suggestion for outdoor romance, the site has a lot of potential.

I should add the standard disclaimer about sex in public places. Laws vary state by state; you could get slapped with charges of indecent exposure or even “disturbing the peace.” But for many, that risk is part of the fun. What else is it about sex in public places that gets people so excited?

For some new couples, it’s raw passion. They must have each other, here and now, wherever and whenever that may be. For others — and, by the sharing nature of Outdoorlovemap.com, I suspect this is the case for many of the Web site’s users — it is the thrill of exhibitionism. You can’t be sure, but someone MAY be watching. If this is the case, you’ll want to find a semi-public spot, with opportunities for a quick getaway if you do get caught.

I personally haven’t been brave enough to try any risky spots, but I do have a wish list. Confession: Desiree Sweet yearns to join the Mile High Club and do it on an airplane. There’s also the Three Dolphin Club, but that’s more the stuff of science fiction. In spite of living on an island, I’ve never done it on the beach, so that’s another dream of mine.

What about it, Vibrator.com readers? Share your fantasies and tell us where you’d love to make love! Then help the Outdoorlovemap.com founders (and the world as a whole) by sharing your favorite outdoor love location.

Sex in Strange Places

‘Tis the season… for the in-laws to visit. Or maybe you and your sweetheart are traveling this holiday. Either way, the stress of shopping, wrapping, cooking, and decking the halls (all within a budget) leaves you sorely in need of some horizontal relief.

Finding privacy with a house full, though, may require you and your honey to get creative. The following suggestions have all been executed by real-life couples, but caution is still required.

In the UK, the 2003 Sexual Offences Act permits sex in an isolated place as long as you have a reasonable expectation of privacy. But laws in the U.S. vary by state – and often it depends on the disposition of the person who discovers you. Your best bet? Don’t get caught.

1.    In the car. We recommend an empty parking lot to avoid prying familial eyes, but you may find privacy as close as your own garage.

Tip: Bring a towel to protect your upholstery and expect to practice some contortionism.

2.    On a train. Hubby and I successfully pulled off this maneuver right before the last stop, after the conductor made his rounds.

Tip: You may have to hunt to find an empty car. Tuck yourselves into a corner bench seat and keep quiet… A blanket may help, too.

3.    Movie theatre… Dim lighting, a built-in soundtrack… The only negative is the $10 or more price of admission.
Tip: Pick a bomb of a movie at an off-time. Armrests that fold up help, too.

4.    Local park: It’s close, it’s free, and when you need it NOW, it should be easy enough to sneak away for a late-night quickie. If the park has swings—use your imagination!
Tip Don’t forget a blanket and a flashlight.

5. Your office, after-hours. Have your Significant Other meet you right after work. Don’t have your own office? People have successfully pulled off this maneuver in their boss’ office.
Tip: Be very sure there are no video cameras and don’t forget to lock the door!

I admit there are far stranger places to have sex than the ones on these list; consider these “beginner locations.”

Desiree Sweet’s strangest encounter? She recently gave head to a friend while pulled over in a car on a suburban street… He was standing outside the car, with the window open. She’s also gotten busy in a stairwell at a state college, the parking lot behind her office building, and on the side of the New Jersey Turnpike. But she’s got nothing on the couple who had sex in the bathroom at the top of Seattle’s Space Needle.