Superheroes have them. So do spies. But did you ever think that your cubicle mate may not be exactly who he claims to be?

In this era of MySpace, Facebook, and all manner of social networking sites, it seems everyone is “LinkedIn,” “Plurking” or “Tweeting” their life away on Twitter. (None of these activities is as much fun as the names make them sound—really!)

It’s kind of cool that we can follow the activities of people around the world with just a click of a mouse, but how much information is TMI (TOO MUCH information?) Some social networking blogs have recently talked about “transparency” – in other words, full disclosure on your blog or other social networking site. But for some people, that’s a difficult choice. Possibly even the wrong choice.

For instance, a colleague of mine who writes erotic fan fiction (she didn’t get into details, but the words “gay elf sex” came up in conversation) works in a school district. There could be big problems if anyone in her real life discovered her literary leanings.

That’s where an uber-cool “secret identity” comes in (cape is optional). Sure, anyone who is determined enough can trace an IP address and find out who you really are, but, for the most part, a handily-crafted pseudonym will permit you to contribute to sex blogs, write erotic fan fiction, haunt chat rooms, and flirt (and more), anonymously. We won’t go into the moral ramifications of the latter. We are not here to judge.

So when you’re ready to become your alter-ego, how do you choose your name? There are tons of “porn star name” generators on the Web but most of these yield silly results. Do you really want to be known as Tara Asstronaut or Sergeant Slamm?

There’s also the old trick of “Name of your First Pet, Name of the Street Where You Lived Growing Up.” For me, this yields the very sexy, yet somewhat masculine, “Frisky Swallow.” So I tend to go with my second pet’s name, for the sexily suggestive “Tabitha Swallow.”

However, after a brief stint writing under this name, out of curiosity I did a numerology report and realized the name is too far removed from my own personality to yield success. So I randomly picked Desiree Sweet and ran that name, too, through a numerology report. Often the center of attention, Desiree Sweet is creative, fun and gets the job done. Now, that’s the type of person whose blog you want to read, isn’t it?

For writers, pseudonyms are an accepted part of life. Where most people tend to get in trouble, however, are those pesky pics (and the Web vids). Everyone’s got a camera now. And a Facebook or Flicka account. So what to do?

You can try banning cameras at many get-togethers, but not everyone adheres to the policy. In lieu of this, keep a close eye on the photo albums of friends and acquaintances (especially those who may have friends – real or online – who overlap yours). Don’t hesitate to ask them to remove a photo, even if it doesn’t have your name tied to it, if you find it embarrassing, incriminating, or just something you’d feel weird about your grandmother seeing.

As for your own account, again, a pseudonym is a good start, but if you’re a school teacher, public official or, well, anyone with a job, you may want to think twice before posting that photo of you in a Fruit Loop bikini during that wild summer on Fire Island.

Have you ever wasted hours of your life on Myspace or Facebook and wanted those hours back? Well then I might recommend NOT visiting web 2.0 sex networking sites like Xtube.com or Pornotube.com (see a previous blog post for the full list). Sites like these have the propensity to suck away thousands of minutes of the lives of young voyeurs like myself. The sheer selection of what one can search for and successfully find is astounding and almost a hindrance at an otherwise productive evening. The work of a voyeur is never done when sitting at the virtual telescope into countless bedroom windows.

Xtube has taught me some new sexual terms and interests that I was unaware of previously. “Whipped cream pie” is one of them. (I am actually still not sure what it means.) My conversational Spanish and French has greatly improved, as well. Still, I am not convinced that, as a voyeur, I’m making good use of my time on Xtube. Exhibitionists have a better deal.

You like it gay or straight? Sure, whatever. Interested in seeing a girl who has tattoos that encircle both of her breasts suck off two guys at once? Yeah, I’m into that, I guess. Have you seen “lingerieboy’s” most recent jerk off video? Like, who hasn’t?! Only a small percentage of videos on Xtube are of commercial porn, leaving the rest to be produced by horny guys and girls on private cams. This is the obvious choice for the countless exhibitionists of the world, but how can a voyeur like me find the time to spy in on everyone?! It’s just not possible.

So where does this leave me? Searching for keywords (like “whipped cream pie”, of course) and quietly subscribing my photo-less profile to receive notifications when my favorite “stars” update their arsenal of homemade treats for my viewing pleasure. Would it be easier and less time-consuming to buy a cam and become an exhibitionist myself? Maybe. But where’s the fun in that?