It’s a telltale sign that I’m a product of Generation X, but when I saw this news report talking about a study on the dangers of oral sex, all I could think of was the line uttered by Dante in the original Clerks: “You sucked 37 dicks?!”

I’ve long believed that the 1994 Kevin Smith movie played a role in blow jobs becoming, for better or worse, the teenage equivalent of making out in recent decades. My husband often laments that the movie hadn’t been made yet when he was a teenager; I tell him to quit complaining and then I start making up for lost time.

A study from Johns Hopkins University, however, shows that unprotected oral sex, especially with multiple partners over time, may not be the “safe sex” alternative many teenagers view it as. Sure, it can’t get you pregnant, but strains of the HPV virus, shown to cause cervical cancer in women, can be transmitted orally and are linked to head, neck and throat cancer.

Anyone who is not monogamous should understand the risks associated with oral sex without a condom or dental dam. Not only can HPV be spread through unprotected oral sex, but so can gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes and HIV. Maybe this is old news, but it bears repeating.

What surprised me is the prevalence of HPV-related throat cancer. According to the Johns Hopkins report, the cancer afflicts approximately 11,000 people in the U.S. each year, making it an equal threat as cervical cancer.

To date, no study has been done regarding the effect of Gardasil, Merck’s questionable vaccine to protect against certain strains of HPV, to prevent throat cancer.

Now, I’m the first one to rail against “alarmist” studies. But I feel this is important information that should be shared. Condoms and dental dams can reduce the risk of spreading HPV, but not eliminate it entirely.

Still, with the lines of colorful and tasty condoms available today, there’s really no excuse, if you’re not in a monogamous relationship, to use a condom during oral sex.

And if you take some time and learn to put the condom on using only your mouth and tongue, I seriously doubt you’ll hear your partner complain!

There’s a lot more to the HPV vaccination debate than whether or not it will encourage sexual activity in young women by providing peace of mind in the form of protection against one sexually transmitted virus. Merck’s HPV vaccine, Gardasil, is purported to protect against two strains of Human papillomavirus (HPV), which could lead to cervical cancer, and two strains of the virus connected to genital warts.

The debate pits public interest groups and the profits of one of the largest drug companies in the world against conservative ideals and unrealistic beliefs about sexual activity and teens. But there’s more to the argument. The vaccine is under attack by many leaders in the field of natural health and concerned parents on both sides of the political fence. With the health and well-being of tens of millions of young women at stake, who do you believe? Is Gardasil effective, and, more importantly, is it safe? Some say it’s neither.

Mike Adams, known as the Health Ranger, exposes what he calls the “Great HPV Vaccine Hoax,” in a special report at Natural News. At the core of his argument is the assertion that, according to an FDA report, most HPV infections are “short-lived and not associated with cervical cancer.” Additionally, if the vaccine is given to a young woman already carrying HPV in a dormant state, it could activate the infection, causing precancerous legions, according to Adams.

Equally scary are attempts to push the vaccination on young boys! Clearly, they are not at risk for cervical cancer, but Merck claims the vaccine will help prevent the spread of HPV and genital warts. It sounds to me like they are just trying to widen the market for this new “miracle vaccine,” without considering the possible long-term health consequences.

In what looks like another attempt to force usage and increase profits, the powerful pharmaceutical lobbyists have convinced many states to introduce legislation making the vaccination mandatory for girls entering sixth grade. According to recent accounts, none of the bills have passed yet, and those without an opt-out clause for philosophical or religious reasons have died. In Texas, Governor Rick Perry signed an executive order mandating the vaccine for all girls entering the sixth grade. Upon careful examination, we discover that Perry’s former chief of staff, Mike Toomey, is now a Merck lobbyist. Perry also allegedly received significant funds from Merck’s political action committee in 2006. However, the Texas legislature over-rode the executive order.

Understandably, many parents are up in arms about the vaccine, and especially about the government trying to mandate its use. Because Gardasil only works if a woman has not been exposed to HPV, it is most effective in young girls who have never had sex. Some medical professionals recommend starting the vaccine, given in a series of 3 shots over 6 months, at age 9.

Some parents believe the vaccine will encourage promiscuity or sex without a condom. Others simply can’t fathom the thought of their daughters having sex, and eschew any discussions along those lines.

This faction ignores the fact that adolescent girls turn into grown women who do, indeed, have sex and who also have the right to protect themselves against sexually transmitted infections. Fifty percent of all sexually active women have, at one point, contracted HPV. If the vaccine really works, it offers the chance to beat those odds.

These “watchdog” groups hide their true objections behind the medical arguments, which are more difficult to refute. So we’re back to the original question: does Gardasil work?

The fact is, existing evidence does not consider the long-term effects of the vaccine. (It hasn’t been around long enough). However, clinical studies have shown Gardasil to be more than 95 percent effective in protecting against four different strains of HPV.

In deciding whether to have your daughter (or yourself, if you’re under the age of 26) vaccinated, consider this: all vaccines carry some risks. Do the drawbacks (which may or may not be evident at this time) outweigh the benefits of becoming, as the commercial goes, “One less?” Like most decisions related to sexual activity, lifestyle and your health, it’s a decision only you can make.