Tips for Taking Care of Your Sex Toys

Afterglow Sex Toy Cleaning Wipes

Especially with how expensive sex toys can get, it’s important to take care of them.  With as much work as we put some of our toys through, and considering the sensitive places where we use those toys, we really need to work at keeping them in tip top shape.  As such, it’s important to take care of your toys; to keep them clean and store them properly between uses.

The first step in taking care of your sex toys is to keep them clean.  There are many varieties of antibacterial toy cleaners which you can use to clean any type of sex toy before and after use.  It’s important to clean toy before use, as well as after.  Before use, it’s important because the toys can collect lint, dust and other stuff that floats around in the air.  Even just rinsing the toy off first works, as we don’t want that lint and other stuff to get in our parts.  I like to use antibacterial toy wipes before I use my toys as the bathroom is very out of the way and many of many favorite toys are in my bedroom.

For cleaning after sex, it’s important to clean in all the crevices and dips you can find in toys, as fluids can get in there and then dry, which can lead to a lot of bacterial growth.  It’s important to use body safe soap as well as hot water.  For glass, pure silicone and other heat resistant toys without motors you can boil them.  5-10 minutes, depending on the size of the toy and how many you’re cleaning works just fine.  Also, a 10% bleach solution (so 1 part bleach to 10 parts water) works well also, so long as you ensure to rinse the toy completely.

It’s important to remember that unless your toy is completely non-porous, such as 100% silicone, metal or glass, your toy will never be wholly clean, as bodily fluids will get into the tiny pores and you won’t be able to clean them out.  As such, it’s always in your best interest to get totally non-porous sex toys.  Also, when it comes to toys used anally or shard, it’s imperative to get non-porous toys and then fully sterilize them before sharing or use again.  And never, ever take a sex toy from the anus to the vagina without fully sterilizing it first, or using condoms.

As for storing your toys, many toys cannot touch, or else there could be a reaction between the materials they’re made out of, which can ruin your toys.  The safest rule of thumb is to simply just store your toys so none of them touch.  Glass toys, wood or metal toys and ceramic toys are safe to touch each other and toys of the same material.  Plastics, jelly toys and silicone toys really shouldn’t touch each other or toys of the same material as a chemical reaction could occur which would damage the toys.

What I do is I keep each toy wrapped in cloth.  Sometimes I use the same piece of cloth, I just ensure that there is a couple folds of cloth between them.  Also, you can simply use the package that the toy came in, if it came in anything substantial.    Sometimes this is the best way to go, especially if the packaging is awesome and substantial, such as with Evolved toys.

Lastly for storage, it’s important to ensure your toys are safe.  Last thing you want is for them to get broken by accidentally being stepped on, or sliding off of a shelf.

So, the long and short of it is; take care of your sex toys. You spend your hard earned money on them, and you insert them into your bits and use them on your parts.  The better you take care of them, the longer they’ll last and the more you’ll be able to use them.

A breakdown of sex toys.

There’s a lot of different kinds of sex toys out there.  So I thought I’d break some of it down for you, to help separate some of the toys, what they are, what they’re typically used for, and how they’re used.

The Dildo

Perhaps the most recognizable sex toy, the dildo has been around for longer than many people realize.  Dildos come in shapes from realistic (meaning it looks very much like a real penis, typically uncircumcised) to unrealistic, possibly looking like a rose or some other, non-penile shape.

Dildos are typically used for vaginal penetration, though some are also able to be used for anal penetration.  For safety purposes, only use dildos with a flared base and that are also non-porous (so that they may be sterilized) for anal penetration.

Typically non-intimidating, a dildo is often the first sex toy a woman will purchase.  They are simple to use, don’t usually require batteries and come in a wide variety of sizes, colors and shapes.

The Vibrator

Vibrators really are more than a dildo that vibrates. For the most part, vibrating dildos are simply dildos that have a slot for a small vibrator (typically a bullet.)  They are typically realistic in shape and made of a soft material.  Actual vibrators, on the other hand, are made around the motor and vibrator, meaning that the vibrator is not removable.

Vibrators come in endless colors, shapes and sizes, as well as types.  From rabbits to g-spot vibrators to clitoral vibrators there is a vibrator made for any purpose.  As they sound, g-spot vibrators are made with a “hook” or nub at the end of it, to help the user reach and then stimulate the g-spot.  The clitoral vibrators are round and thin, without much substantial size so that one may target the clitoris.  Many clitoral vibrators can sit snugly between the labia.  Rabbits have a shaft for internal vaginal stimulation as well as a clitoral stimulator, so that both areas may be stimulated simultaneously.

Typically run on batteries, many sex toy companies are getting on the green bandwagon and making their sex toys rechargeable.

Vaginal Balls

Vaginal balls are small, body safe balls that typically are hollow, with another weighted ball inside of them.  Most vaginal balls are two balls, connected by a string with another retrieval string at the end of one of the balls.   A few are single balls with a retrieval string, and also you can find some which have no retrieval string, that you remove by simply using your pc muscles.  Some, like the Luna Balls offer a couple different options, working with one or two balls of different weights.

Vaginal balls are excellent for women who have had children and/or who are experiencing difficult controlling their bladder.  The reason for this is that doing regular exercises with vaginal balls (or kegel exercises without the balls) most certainly help strengthen the pc muscles.  This will increase your continence and there are many instances where this increased muscle control will also increase the pleasure you receive during sex.

The vaginal balls strengthen muscles by you holding them in.  They are weighted, so you squeeze your muscles around the balls, holding them inside your vagina.  By squeezing your muscles, holding the balls in, then releasing your muscles you exercise the muscles just like you exercise any other body part.

Anal Plug

Anal plugs are anal safe sex toys that get inserted into the rectum and then kept there.  They come in several materials, from silicone which is best for beginners as it gives, to steel which is more advanced, as there’s no give to it. Typically they do not vibrate and simply sit there.  While this may seem unexciting, there are many good reasons to use anal plugs.

First, you can work your way up from small plugs to larger ones to get your bottom used to having something larger in there.  This is a great thing to do if you wish to experiment with anal sex at some point in time.  Secondly, it can simply be enjoyable for the different sensations having something in your bottom can give.  Thirdly, using an anal plug is an awesome way to experience double penetration for women; having something both in your butt and vagina.

Anal plugs are great because you can wear them for long periods of time.  You can put an anal plug in then go do your errands!  This is a lovely and erotic way to spend some time during your day as no one else will know you’ve stuck something in your bum!  This can be a naughty secret between you and your lover, or something only you know.

Anal Probe

Basically, anal probes are anal vibrators.  They come in many shapes and sizes and are made specifically for anal use.  It’s always important to ensure that they’re non-porous so you can fully clean and sterilize them as well as ensure there’s a large flared handle so that it won’t get stuck up there; you can’t push things out of your bottom the same way a woman can push something out of her vagina.

Many anal probes are made specifically for men and thus are designed to simulate the prostate.  This is a wonderful and healthy thing for men to do as it can give a unique orgasm all of it’s own; it also does not, in any way, mean someone is bi or homosexual.

Anal Beads

Anal beads are sort of like anal plugs, but they are smaller and longer.  Anal beads are  an excellent thing to start with if you’re a beginner to anal play.  They have several beads or bumps on a body safe string or piece of silicone.  You can pop one in then after a few seconds of acclimation go ahead and put in the next one, which is a tad bit bigger.  You can then keep going (each bead/bump is a tad bit bigger than the one before) until you’ve inserted them all, or until you’ve reached the largest one you wish to use.

Also similar to anal plugs, these can be worn for extended periods of time while you are having sex, doing chores or running errands.  Anal beads are wonderful to have in while having sex.  You can experience double penetration, but also, typically, the man can feel the beads on his penis through the vaginal/anal wall which will give him unique sensations and increase the uniqueness and pleasure during sex.

What makes sex good?

Now, I’m quite lucky in that I haven’t had much “bad” sex.  Basically, for me, any sex is good sex so long as it’s consensual and safe and all that.  So for me, a lot of it is a chosen mental state, rather than the actual quality of sex.  I suppose though, that there are physical factors of consensual intercourse that would cause it to be good versus bad.  So I suppose, in order for the sex to be good both parties would need to orgasm, yes?  Not really.  I think there needs to be more than that.

First off I think there needs to be fun.  Even if you’re having emotional make-up sex, or passionate been-teasing-each-other-all-day sex, you still need to be enjoying it.  Secondly, I think there needs to be more contact that just genital contact.  (Please keep in mind this is my opinion … )For me, if there’s no kissing or no caressing or things like that, it just removes something very ..intrinsic to a sexual encounter.  I may have the best orgasm ever, but there will still be something missing, something that’s really undefinable, something that’s probably more emotional than physical.  Not sure, body parts will graze each other, but for me it needs to be intentional touching/caressing.

I asked my boyfriend what, to him, does sex need to have in order for it to be “good” and he replied that first and foremost both parties would need to be satisfied to their own individual sexual gratification needs.  And I’d have to agree with him on that one.  As he pointed out, everybody has their own needs in order for sex to be ultimately satisfying for them.  For me, that’s deliberate touching, caressing and kissing.  For a good friend of mine, sex has to involve some sort of bdsm kink.  For my boyfriend it’s ensuring that I’ve had at least one full on, climax.  He’s unable to allow himself to have genuine sexual pleasure until I’ve had genuine sexual satisfaction.

For me I think that one of the most important things that really makes sex good for me is that my partner (my boyfriend now of course) is actually into it.  I know many who have gone to be solely because their partner was horny.  Now of course there is the aspect that a lot of the time I think you should try, at least see if a little foreplay can get you in the mood.  But if you’re not at that point mentally, then sex with a sense of obligation is one of those things that can lead to a whole host of unpleasantness.  But, sometimes you can simply oblige your partner by using a vibrator on them or giving a hand job or blow job.

Lastly I think, as does my boyfriend, that it’s important to always keep in mind that an orgasm or ejaculation does not mean “great” or “good” sex.  My boyfriend and I have had some of the most incredible sex that didn’t end with orgasm, climax or ejaculation.  You can have a huge ejaculation simply during masturbation.  Or even during sleep!  If you get too focused on the end result, you loose what’s happening in the now, and I can guarantee that you loose a lot of pleasure doing that.

In the end, what “good” sex is is not, in any way, universal. It’s all personal!  It’s what you find pleasurable and ensuring that you have that experience during your sexual encounters.  And because we each find different things pleasurable, and each of us finds different things pleasurable that ensures a lot of joy and variety in our sexcapades!

What, to you, is good sex?? Do share!

How to bring up trying a taboo sex act

Blow? Suck?

Face it.  No matter who you are, no matter your religion, your sexual experience, your moral values, where you live, your shape or size, no matter anything, there comes a time when you want to try something “taboo” with your lover.  Or yourself.

So first, let’s look at what taboo is.  Basically, something is taboo when there’s a strong social “ban” on it.  So, according to society to do activity x, y, or z is bad.  Then that activity is taboo.  Even if it is perfectly legal.  Taboo does not mean illegal or legal.  Just that according to society at large, to do that act is abhorrent or objectionable.

Due to the taboo nature of many sex acts, it can be difficult for someone to bring it up to their lover, even if they’ve been together for years.  Now, each relationship is unique; everybody communicates in their own way just as each relationship has it’s own best system(s) of communication.

However, when you haven’t ever talked about it before, for a lot of people, suddenly saying “Baby, get on your hands and knees I wanna fuck you in the arse” typically isn’t the best idea to go about it.

When it comes to trying new things in bed, many people can be very touchy about the subject.  Often it’s due to their upbringing, but whatever the reason those persons feelings must be taken into account and honored and respected. Doing anything less simply shows that you don’t care about the other persons feelings and is/can be very detrimental to your relationship with them.  By taking their feelings into account you’re showing them that they matter to you, that their opinion is important to you

So, especially when you’re asking them to try something they’re not familiar with, make sure to be prepared to answer questions.  And also be kind about it, don’t, in any way, even begin to insinuate that they’re stupid or naive for asking.  Also, be prepared to offer up examples and educational materials.  These could be instructional/informational videos or books , maybe even a website or two.

Another good idea is if you’re wanting to try a new toy or type of toy it wouldn’t be a bad idea to actually buy a simple version of one so they can see it, feel it and get an idea of what it is before you’re actually in the moment of sex play when you’d want to try it. Get one that’s simple and unassuming, and preferrably a litle bit on the cheaper end so that if they don’t like it or that particular type of sex play doesn’t work for you you’re not out a lot of money.  You can always get a nicer one if it ends up being something you both like and want to try again.

There’s a few other things to remember.  First off, don’t be demanding.  Demanding can be construed as force, and force is horrible, bad and illegal.  Also, it can cause your partner to feel guilty if they’re not interested in which case they may do it anyway, despite not wanting to.  That can really get you into troubles and problems you wouldn’t want.

Also, you have to understand and be okay with the fact that not everyone likes everything.  Be understanding, compassionate and accepting if your partner genuinely tries something new for you and doesn’t like it.  Be willing to gently suggest trying it another way (perhaps with a different toy, a different position or maybe in a different place).  Also allow them time before trying it again if they’re not wanting to jump right back into it.

All in all, trying something new can be difficult for some people, regardless of the reasons for it.  And this needs to be respected and honored.  But at the same time, trying something new can really bring flavor and excitement back into your sex life.  Talk about it, bring it up, hide a book about it in their briefcase or on their pillow, leave a video of it when you’re going out of town or give a new toy as a gift.  However you do it; do it and be empathetic about it.  You won’t regret it.

Coming In From Behind

Nice Behind

It wasn’t long before I met my boyfriend that I began experimenting with anal play.  I was quite nervous, but thankfully had a really great anal probe to start with that was not intimidating and was a great size for a beginner. Similar to this vibrating anal probe it was great for a starter anal toy; it was thin, had a good thick base and was easy to use.  Plus it was non-porous, so I was able to keep it fully clean and sanitized.

Not long after that, I moved up to a set of anal beads and slowly but surely let my boyfriend play back there as well, using his fingers and then once, his mouth. (Which was awesome, by the way.)  Eventually I got to the point where I was in love with double penetration and wanted to expand to things larger than fingers and anal beads.

Thus began my exploration of anal probes and plugs.  Now, personally, I am not a fan of anal plugs.  I don’t know why, but no matter how awesome the plug is, I just prefer probes. I’m weird like that.  So I slowly started moving up in size with the toys I used anally, often using toys I already had that I knew I could sterilize; so pretty much anything that was 100% silicone.

Eventually we tried anal sex and we were able to get the entire head of his penis in, which was amazing.  I wasn’t able to take more than that so we abandoned it so I could get more practice taking toys anally.

Unfortunately we haven’t been able to try again since.  Since we’ve lost our sex drive and don’t have a real bed we aren’t able to get too terribly fancy with sex and sex play.  I’m still able to get anal play when I masturbate though!  I’ve found that if I go too long without doing something back there then, while I may not need to go all the way back down to beginner size, I still have to re-acclimate to the knowledge and sensation of something going up my butt.

Why do I like it though?  Why do I keep going back to it?  Well, it feels good!  I’ve had actual anal orgasms, which are incredible, by the way.  Absolutely amazing.  Plus, there’s the knowledge that it’s so taboo, so naughty that gives it that extra spice.  It’s a wholly unique sensation and I can use anal play to achieve double penetration, that is worth it in and of itself.

Do you enjoy anal play?  If so why?

When I Masturbate…

Even after all this time sometimes I still worry about what others would think if they saw me.  The strange part is though, if there is a chance that people could see me (like through open blinds or something) then it’s like, extra better for me!  I suppose that’s the exhibitionist in me.  They way I look at it; if someone’s watching then they want to watch, otherwise they wouldn’t, ya know?  However I don’t much like to watch myself so I suppose that’s where the issues come from.

Thing is, I’m a creature that thrives on routine and consistency.  While I don’t mind doing something spontaneously, if there’s any sort of routine change I tend to tweak out a little bit.  However sexually, I like variety, as does my body.  So in the end, sometimes I still end up masturbating in the same way as always because it then avoids any of those weird feelings plus, in the end, it gets the job done quick.

When I really want something special though, I tend to make a pretty big production out of it.  Thus, it doesn’t frequently happen.  First off I typically don’t have free all the time it takes to make such a big production.  I’ll take up to a half hour to prepare for it, while making plans for a day or two prior.  Plus, I’ll take at least a half hour to clean up as well.  I’ll have movies picked out for background, candles and will re-arrange the living room so I have all the space I need.

I also typically have several toys out, if not 2 or 3 toyboxes sitting out for me to get whatever toy or toys I want.  Plus I’ll have all kinds of lube ready, a towel or two, nipple clamps, anal toys, a blanket or two to lay on so I don’t get the couch dirty, and things of that nature.  These tend to be incredible masturbation sessions where I will use 10 or more toys just ‘cuz I get so into the mood I want every sensation I can get.  It’s during these sessions where I often will be able to ejaculate a little bit.  That’s always exciting for me as it takes so very much for me to be able to do so.

It then takes me quite some time to clean up.  First, I need to recoup a bit LOL  Then I need to clean up all my toys and get them put away and all the porn put away and the towels and blankets put away.  Typically I just end up showering ‘cuz I’m covered in lube and my own sexual juices.

Regardless of how I masturbate though; taking 2 hours out of my day or just grabbing one toy and having a 10 minute quickie with myself, I love it.  It’s so fun, it’s wonderful stress relief and if my blinds are open I get to have a little exhibitionist fun as well.  Granted I live on the 2nd floor and there’s no way anyone could see me on the couch unless they’re literally right in front of my window..that’s not the point! LOL

How do you like to masturbate?  Quickies or involved set ups?

Plus Sized Sex

So often when reading about sex and sexuality and sex toys and all that, there are many issues which are addressed.  Different sexual orientations.  Issues resulting from sexual abuse.  Transgender issues.  It’s very rare though, to see someone talking about issues surrounding being plus sized.  Sure there’s plenty of discussion of self esteem and how it’s healthy to masturbate, but how often do you see suggestions on sex toys that are easier for larger women to use?  How often do you see suggestions on sex positions that are easier for plus sized people to get into?

Personally, I’ve only seen one book where plus sizes were addressed and the only suggestions on toys for plus sized women was a post written by me quite some time ago.  So, in the interest of promoting awesome masturbation for us plus sized girls, here’s a couple of my favorite toys, and some tips for us plus sized women!

Evolved Bendable You Too —  While this vibrator, unfortunately, doesn’t have Evolved’s standard rockin’ tins to keep it in, it’s bendy nature and lengthy size make it great for reaching hard to reach places!  It’s almost 9″ long, so when you have it elongated and not bent it can easily reach around extra flesh, it can easily fit inside thick labia and can help you reach if you’re unable to reach your fingers or hands down there.  Plus, with how bendable it is you can easily shape it exactly how you want and need it.  Not to mention the long cord for the power pack, so you don’t have to worry too much about where it is or how far away it is.

Share Dildo — Now, yes.  The intended purpose of this dildo is to be inserted into one female, and then that female has sex with someone else using the dildo as it’s inserted into her vagina.  However.  Look at the size and shape of this baby! That short end makes a perfect handle!  So it’s super easy for you to lay back, hold onto it and it’s size and length makes it easy to reach around extra flesh and still make it into your vagina so you can pleasure yourself.

TIPS:

Position aids, like the Liberator Wedge are really a girls best friend.  First off then can help you (anybody really) get into positions that may otherwise be difficult to achieve.  One thing though, to try, is if you’re in doggy style slap a pillow two under your belly. This will help to not only give your upper body some support so your arms dont’ have to take all the weight but also it can help give your stomach support so it’s not all pulling on your back.

If you want to have a leg or two in the air try laying on the couch and putting one up on the back of the couch.  By hooking a foot up there you can have a leg up without having to hold it up yourself or have your partner hold it for you.  That way you either don’t have to worry about that, or you and/or your partner can hold your other leg up and you can have the variety of position with a leg or two up.  This position sort of mimics doggy style and also makes it easier to achieve g-spot stimulation.

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Do you have any tips for plus sized people wanting to masturbate and have sex?  Or, are you plus sized and would like tips?  Please, leave a comment!!

Why do I have so many sex toys?

A couple months ago I gave away two boxes full of sex toys.  Vibrators, dildos, anal toys, lube, even some bondage gear.  Now first off, keep in mind that they were all cleaned and sterilized.  And they are sterilizable for future use.   Even after doing that, I still have over 100 sex toys.  That includes dildos, vibrators, eggs, rabbits, anal toys, bondage gear and so on and so forth.  And I love it!  It’s funny because sometimes I feel like a hoarder, having so many sex toys and wanting even more.

Now, how I get my toys is different than most people, probably, in that I review sex toys.  So I share my personal experiences with new toys in exchange for the toy itself.  But even still, it’s not like I masturbate for hours upon hours every day.  Hell, I can go a week or two between masturbation sessions.

And even how I masturbate can be different from one day to the next.  Sometimes I can just give myself a quickie in the shower, be done in 5 minutes.  Other days I can turn my whole living room into Masturbation Central with half my toys out, 3 porns, blankets and 5 kinds of lube ready and sitting out for whatever desire I and my body may have.  As such I find it important for me to have several toys, but it also makes it nigh impossible for me to say that I have any one favorite toy.  The answer varies depending on what kind of toy we’re talking about (dildo, vibrator, egg, anal toy, rabbit, etc) and also what mood I’m in.

This is why I tend to not only favor but almost “push” people to have at least 1 or 2 different sex toys.  Sometimes our body wants something different and there’s not a darn thing wrong with giving into that desire!

Most of my sex toys are in my bathroom closet, however I have a handful by my bed.  Here’s  a few of them: L’Amour Tripler , Petite Silhouette , Thrusting Jack Rabbit .  I also have a couple anal toys and at least one glass dildo as well.  My theory is: whatever my body wants, I can meet it’s needs! LOL

So, what toys do you have beside your bed??? Also, how many do you think is too many sex toys?