How to bring up trying a taboo sex act

Blow? Suck?

Face it.  No matter who you are, no matter your religion, your sexual experience, your moral values, where you live, your shape or size, no matter anything, there comes a time when you want to try something “taboo” with your lover.  Or yourself.

So first, let’s look at what taboo is.  Basically, something is taboo when there’s a strong social “ban” on it.  So, according to society to do activity x, y, or z is bad.  Then that activity is taboo.  Even if it is perfectly legal.  Taboo does not mean illegal or legal.  Just that according to society at large, to do that act is abhorrent or objectionable.

Due to the taboo nature of many sex acts, it can be difficult for someone to bring it up to their lover, even if they’ve been together for years.  Now, each relationship is unique; everybody communicates in their own way just as each relationship has it’s own best system(s) of communication.

However, when you haven’t ever talked about it before, for a lot of people, suddenly saying “Baby, get on your hands and knees I wanna fuck you in the arse” typically isn’t the best idea to go about it.

When it comes to trying new things in bed, many people can be very touchy about the subject.  Often it’s due to their upbringing, but whatever the reason those persons feelings must be taken into account and honored and respected. Doing anything less simply shows that you don’t care about the other persons feelings and is/can be very detrimental to your relationship with them.  By taking their feelings into account you’re showing them that they matter to you, that their opinion is important to you

So, especially when you’re asking them to try something they’re not familiar with, make sure to be prepared to answer questions.  And also be kind about it, don’t, in any way, even begin to insinuate that they’re stupid or naive for asking.  Also, be prepared to offer up examples and educational materials.  These could be instructional/informational videos or books , maybe even a website or two.

Another good idea is if you’re wanting to try a new toy or type of toy it wouldn’t be a bad idea to actually buy a simple version of one so they can see it, feel it and get an idea of what it is before you’re actually in the moment of sex play when you’d want to try it. Get one that’s simple and unassuming, and preferrably a litle bit on the cheaper end so that if they don’t like it or that particular type of sex play doesn’t work for you you’re not out a lot of money.  You can always get a nicer one if it ends up being something you both like and want to try again.

There’s a few other things to remember.  First off, don’t be demanding.  Demanding can be construed as force, and force is horrible, bad and illegal.  Also, it can cause your partner to feel guilty if they’re not interested in which case they may do it anyway, despite not wanting to.  That can really get you into troubles and problems you wouldn’t want.

Also, you have to understand and be okay with the fact that not everyone likes everything.  Be understanding, compassionate and accepting if your partner genuinely tries something new for you and doesn’t like it.  Be willing to gently suggest trying it another way (perhaps with a different toy, a different position or maybe in a different place).  Also allow them time before trying it again if they’re not wanting to jump right back into it.

All in all, trying something new can be difficult for some people, regardless of the reasons for it.  And this needs to be respected and honored.  But at the same time, trying something new can really bring flavor and excitement back into your sex life.  Talk about it, bring it up, hide a book about it in their briefcase or on their pillow, leave a video of it when you’re going out of town or give a new toy as a gift.  However you do it; do it and be empathetic about it.  You won’t regret it.

Squirting: Three Secrets to Female Ejaculation

I once saw a porn scene where it looked like a woman had Niagara Falls coming out of her vagina. I couldn’t help but think this was some form of special effects, even though the flick was relatively low budget. Until the other night.

Yes, female ejaculation of massive proportions is possible — and fun! Although it gets a bit messy and a towel or two is highly recommended for easy clean-up.

If you’ve never heard of female ejaculation, there’s an interesting side to sex you may be missing. But what is it, exactly? Essentially, it’s when a woman “squirts” clear fluid from the vaginal area … it comes from the urethra and the areas around it, specifically, the paraurethral glands. The first time many women squirt, they think they may have peed. But this fluid is clear and odorless and a somewhat different consistency than urine. Some studies note that some urine exists in the fluid.

Like the great debate over whether the g-spot exists or not, people debate over whether women can really ejaculate. This seems like a silly debate — especially if you’ve ever experienced squirting. It can happen.

How can you do it? Follow these steps and have fun practicing!

Play on your own at first. One of the major impediments to female ejaculation is embarrassment. Will our partner be grossed out? Will he think we peed on him? Since releasing your inhibitions is one of the keys to a great sex life — and this aspect is no different — practice on yourself first. You may first try masturbation in the shower, where clean up won’t be an issue.

Use g-spot stimulation. Many people believe female ejaculation occurs through g-spot stimulation. Although yours truly can squirt without such stimulation, it certainly doesn’t hurt. When you feel yourself cumming through g-spot stimulation, do kegels to intensify the orgasm, pushing out forcefully as you release the kegel. At first, you may just feel a few drops of liquid, but this can turn into a full-blown ejaculation. Ejaculation can also occur during clitoral stimulation.

Relax and focus. If you’re stressed about: “Will I or won’t I?” Guess what? You won’t. Relax. Focus on squirting but don’t stress, because you’ll tighten up. If it doesn’t work the first few times you try, don’t give up. Keep focusing and practicing.

Why Would You Want to Squirt?

You may wonder why you want to introduce this element into your sex life. Maybe you don’t, and that’s fine too. But if you’re interested, you’re opening yourself up to a new level of excitement. (Plus, many sex partners find it really hot!) When it finally happens, you’ll experience the most unbelievably intense orgasm of your life. The sensation of release is unlike any other when you can actually see and feel something coming out.

Facts, Info and More Questions about Squirting

- Squirting does not necessarily come with orgasm — it can happen before, after or during.

- Women squirt different amounts, from a few, barely detectable drops to a full-blown geyser effect.

- Yes, porn stars can (and do) fake ejaculation — usually by drinking a lot of water and then urinating on cue.

- There are no solid figures on the number of women who ejaculate. Questionnaire surveys found between 35 and 50 percent of respondents report squirting. Other studies found the numbers between 10 percent and 65 percent.

Keep in mind, once you find the right position and stimulation to provoke squirting, it may not happen every time. But if it’s something you and your partner enjoy, it’s definitely fun when it happens!

Seven Tips to Better, Safer Cybersex

“I’m going to have you all over the Web!” I uttered to a close friend.

Um, wait… that wasn’t exactly what I meant, and knowing the friend is an author of erotica, my words took on a whole new meaning. I was really just interviewing her for a writer’s blog, since she recently signed on as editor at a publishing company and just got proofs of her first published erotic short.

But if you choose to “have” someone (in the sexy sense of the word), the Web has plenty of venues in which to do so. My preference is plain old cybersex through a text-based chat interface of your choice — Digsby, Facebook, AIM … G-Talk is my favorite, but only because of the innuendo in its name.

Cybersex is easy and relatively safe. You can’t transmit or receive STDs, and don’t have to worry about condoms, pregnancy, or even cleaning up a mess on the sheets (okay, well maybe the last one!) Here are a few tips to have better, safer cybersex.

1. Set the stage with strong imagery. While words can be sexy, pictures bring our fantasies to life. That’s why porno DVDs sell so much better than erotic novels. Create a picture in your cyber-lover’s mind with your words. Tell the  tale of what you’re wearing — except if it’s flannel pants and a baggy sweatshirt. Then use your imagination to make up the sexiest outfit you can think of, and describe it in glorious detail. That’s one great thing about cybersex — he’ll never know you’re fibbing!

2. Don’t let typos and “net-speak” distract you or your cybersex partner. Proper spelling makes a smoother read for everyone. And how much longer does it really take to type “your” instead of “ur?”    In fact, most people over age 18 actually have to take more time to convert appropriate spelling into net-speak in our minds before we type. It’s easier to spell out most words. On the other hand, don’t obsess over correct grammar. Just do the best you can and get lost in the moment. Your lover will know what you mean.

3. Be explicit. The hottest cybersex I ever had involved a play-by-play interaction of exactly what I’d do to my lover — and what he’d do to me. We held nothing back, describing everything from the first caress to our mutual, and simultaneous, orgasms.

4. Be creative. Cybersex is a fabulous form of fantasy. Don’t worry if it’s nothing you’d actually want to do in person — you can still talk about it. I’ve had sexy conversations with my lover discussing acts I’m not quite ready for, but are fun to think about! By the same token, there’s no reason to bring the conversation around to anything that makes you uncomfortable. You can steer things in the right direction by sayer (er, typing) “How about we…?”

5. Don’t reveal personal details. I’m not going to be judgmental. Some people have cybersex with strangers. If you do, be careful not to reveal personal details. It’s okay to share the color of your underwear or your favorite sex position, but don’t reveal where you live, for instance, or your place of business or your favorite hangout. You don’t know if the person on the other end of your broadband connection could be a stalker.

6. Better yet, stick with people you know in real life. When you play on the ‘net, you never know what you’re getting. Forty-year-old men can pretend to be 22-year-old porn stars. By the same token, 14-year-old girls can also pretend to be 22-year-old porn stars. And police officers can pretend to be 14-year-old girls pretending to be 22-year-old porn stars. (Got that?) You can get in serious trouble having cybersex with a minor — or someone you believe to be a minor. It’s safer for a variety of reasons to stick to having cybersex with people you know in real life.

7. Webcams add another element to cybersex. If you’re having cybersex with someone you already know, setting up the webcam can really spice it up. Besides, it’s a great way to make sure no one is playing false identity games. Alternately, you can create an avatar in Second Life and have an affair of endless possibilities through your online persona. But that’s a post for another day….

How to Hold a Sexy Photo Shoot

While women often have hang-ups about their looks, especially in the bright light conditions required for a photo shoot, I don’t know of any man alive who doesn’t drool at the thought of his lover memorialized in semi-compromising, or simply sexy, positions.

Case in point: I recently complained to a male friend of mine that my hair had gotten way too long and I wouldn’t be appearing in any photos until I got it cut.

“Ooh, sexy,” he replied. “More to grab onto.”

See what I mean?

So, ladies, set aside your inhibitions and give your man a special treat – let him take your picture – over and over again. We’re ready here at Vibrator.com with tips to get over your shyness and look your best!

Take it slow.
Don’t want to pose in your birthday suit the first time out? Totally understandable. Start with an outfit that makes you feel good – from a business suit to a little black dress. Then unbutton a few buttons, life the hemline or pull down a strap, and take it from there. Fully-clothed can be just as sexy as seeing all nine yards. The key is to be comfortable.

Use appropriate lighting.
Flashes are decidedly unsexy. Better DSLR cameras let you adjust the F-stop to let in more light, so you can take photos in low light conditions without a flash. But that’s getting too technical for most people, who might be using a point-and-shoot digital camera. (Did you zone out when I said f-stop?)
If possible, take photos in natural daylight… but don’t stand next to the window. There’s an obvious reason for that (unless you’re an exhibitionist) but there’s an artistic reason, as well. Light creates harsh shadows, and, in most cases, harsh shadows on a model’s face (and the curves of her body) is decidedly unsexy. Instead, use a reflector – a white card, white sheet, shiny metallic surface or a mirror to reflect light from the original source. Keep the light source in front of the model.

Pose at an angle.
Professional models and Hollywood superstars use this technique all time. Never stand straight ahead facing the camera. Instead, stand partially sideways, with one foot in front of the other. Point your toe toward the camera, putting your weight on your back foot. For a sexy glance, look slightly away from the camera, or look up at the camera to show off big bedroom eyes. Don’t be afraid to suck in your stomach and puff out your chest – but not too much! Experiment with different poses until you find your favorites – we promise the photographer won’t mind!

Employ the rule of thirds.
This doesn’t have anything to do with threesomes (although I highly recommend them to make a photo shoot even more interesting!) When you take a picture, divide what you can see into nine equal parts (think tic-tac-toe board). The photo’s main subject should fall on or near one of the intersections of those lines to create maximum interest. Do not place the subject in the dead center of the photo.

Frame the shot.
The setting helps to make the picture. Sure, all eyes will be on you (should you choose to show the photos to anyone at all) but pay attention to what’s in the background. It’s all about setting the scene.

Some sexy props to include on camera? A bed with sexy red sheets and rose petals. Sex toys. A carefully arranged plate of fruit, especially strawberry, bananas, mango and papaya. Porn movies on a flat screen. If you get really brave, play with the sex toys, teasing at penetration… or go all the way if you feel inclined.

Most importantly, relax, do whatever feels comfortable, and have fun. Remember, every digital camera has a delete button.

The Art and Craft of Writing Erotica

As a professional sex blogger, my job is to keep readers entertained and informed. In some posts, I seek simply to instruct, sharing an array of tips and tricks you can employ in your own bedroom.

But in my spare time, I’ve been known to pen some pretty creative erotica. I’m talking fantasies that make Penthouse letters look tame. Group sex, sex in public places, sex with celebrities, sex with elves… Okay, I’m kidding about the last part.

But you don’t need a BA in journalism or a fancy title like professional sex blogger to write stories that will entice your lover while giving depth, breadth and realism to your fantasies. If I had to share the biggest benefit to writing erotica, it’s the opportunity to lay out intricate fantasies on plain white paper, making them one step closer to reality.

How do you write erotica? The rules for writing good erotica are the same rules that apply to writing anything. These tips will make the entire process easier. But above all, don’t worry about the quality. Are you enjoying the process of writing? Does your lover enjoy reading it? That’s all that matters.

These five tips will help you get over any fears of the blank screen and permit you to pen pornographic prose that will delight readers – and yourself!

1. Be yourself. People think writing (any sort of writing) is difficult because they think it should sound different from how they talk. Just be yourself. Sit down and share a story.

2. Remember your characters. Most unpublished fiction falls flat because the characters don’t have personalities. Much amateur erotica doesn’t make the grade because the characters have no motivation other than to, by the end of the story, get Point A into Slot B.To avoid this common faux pas, write out a quick “character sketch” of your main characters. What is their history? What do they look like? What are their key personality traits and their motivations? Incorporate these details throughout the story to help create living, breathing characters. For beginners making a foray into erotica, you may wish to pattern the characters after yourself and your lover. Not only is this easy – it’s hot!

3. Give it a plot. It’s definitely okay to write to “get to the sex scene,” in the style of most porn flicks. But if you strive to raise your story above the level of “porn” to “erotica,” incorporate a plot. Let your imagination run wild. This is your fantasy, after all. Just remember, conflict drives your plot. The simplest version is: character A wants something. Character B is blocking them. Most plots derive from some variation of that basic formula. See? Writing is easy!

4. Show, don’t tell. If you’ve ever taken a creative writing course, you’ve heard this adage. But what does it mean? Use details to permit your story to unfold naturally.Telling: He climbed on top of her and they started fucking.Showing: He looked down at her naked body, glistening with sweat and sprawled spread-eagle across the downy white comforter. Her big brown eyes seemed to say, “Take me.” And he did. He wasted no time in bending over her form, pushing himself forcefully inside her. They both moaned with pleasure from the first penetration. The mattress seemed to groan from the added weight, and soon, his thrusts kept time with the squeaking springs.

5. Use all five senses. Sex is about so much more than visual and tactile sensations. There’s your lover’s unique scent. Gentle moans, soft groans, and loud squeals. And don’t forget the exciting tastes – lips, tongue, love juices. Write your story to appeal to all five senses… and soon, you’ll find your lover appealing to you to write the sequel – or maybe enact it in real life!

Strippers Wanted?

Think the weak economy isn’t affecting the sex industry? Larry Flynt’s opinions on the matter aside, it really is. But unlike other fields where the outlook appears mostly gloomy, the effects are both positive and negative.

For instance, the Rhode Island strip club chain Foxy Lady is holding a job fair to fill positions at its Providence club and two other clubs in Massachusetts. According to the AP report picked up by Yahoo Finance, the club needs strippers, waitresses, DJs and bartenders.

With Rhode Island’s unemployment rate of 10.3 percent, it presumably won’t be hard to find candidates. Who would have thought of local strip clubs performing a public service in these hard times and providing jobs when other industries are laying people off en masse? This circumstantial evidence seems to tell us that the sex industry is doing just fine, thank you.

“Sin Industries” Up

In hard times, the so-called “sin industries” (along with, on the opposite end of that spectrum, churches) do well. Many people drink, gamble and have sex to forget their problems and to escape from the harsh realities of life. The rest go to church.

Some do both, but I’m not here to pass judgment.

An article in The Atlantic pondered the question “Is Porn Recession Proof?” The porn industry’s first hedge fund, AdultVest, is apparently up 50 percent this year, so, again, the answer might be “yes.”  Or at least a definitive, “Sort of.”

The Atlantic article came out a long three months ago, though, and now it seems even strippers are feeling the pinch.

Hard Times
An article posted on AtlantaStripClubs.net quotes Angelina Spencer, national executive director of the Association of Club Executives, as saying that she’s receiving calls everyday from strip club owners concerned with declining attendance and a decrease in sales of food, lapdances and liquor.

In today’s global economy, it’s not just strip clubs here in the states that are hurting. Cited as “desperate measures” by German publication Spiegel Online International, a brothel in Berlin has begun offering flat-rate services.

Like so many restaurants now offering discounts and nightly specials to compete in this economy, the “Pussy Club” offers clients unlimited access to the ladies, along with all they can eat (off the food menu!) and all they can drink. The special runs only during off-peak hours, but so far, according to a spokesperson for the club who says “business is normal,” it hasn’t driven more customers to the club.

What to Cut?
In a poll in February’s Money Magazine, 20 percent of the people surveyed said they were unwilling to give up “fine wine and spirits” in this economy. It was number five on a list that was topped by “gym memberships.”

If you were wondering, topping the list of things people are willing to sacrifice due to tighter budgets was that new gadget, followed closely by sporting events. Adult entertainment didn’t make either list, but I’m guessing it wasn’t a choice on the survey.

So I’m asking you, Vibrator.com blog readers: Have you cut back on your adult entertainment budget (whether it’s videos, apparel,  sex toys or strippers) due to the economy? If not, in what other areas of life have you tightened the purse strings to afford your adult hobbies?

Wallpaper Magazine and Robbie Cooper Want YOU

I got this in my Inbox the other day and I wanted to inform our readers and followers about a very interesting casting call in New York this weekend.  Read the details below, and if nothing else, check out British photographer Robbie Cooper and his fascinating work!

Immersion Project Casting
Casting email: Immersioncasting@gmail.com

Wallpaper Magazine – Editorial/Art Project Seeking Interesting Subjects Reacting to Adult Videos – New York City

Men and Women, 18+, all ethnicities, all outgoing types (hip/edgy, conservative, etc) needed for a Wallpaper Magazine Editorial/Art project. Reactions will be recorded only from the chest up, while the subject, in a separate, private room, is viewing pornography/sexual content (either DVD or internet). Beautifully lit head-and-shoulders portraits will be recorded of the participants. The video that they’re watching will not be visible.

This project is a continuation of a project called “IMMERSION” where the director isolates the subject from the camera and records the natural reactions. The project will be featured in Wallpaper magazine (publication and online) and possibly featured in art galleries as well. This is an innovative, provocative, challenging art project.

To read and view more regarding the technique and feel of IMMERSION, visit:
http://www.robbiecooper.org

click on Simulations
click on Immersions
click on Photos (bottom right)
click on Play Video (bottom right) this video is kids’ reactions while playing video games.

Shoot date(s): on or around April 11 or 12
Usage: Wallpaper Magazine, editorial publication, and online usage, possible art gallery

To apply, please email immersioncasting@gmail.com
Include your
Name
Age
Contact number
Current/recent photo or headshot

Lysistrata (the Play) and Aphrodite (the Toy)

Coitus interruptus (sex interrupted) is a literary device that was often used by the Ancient Greeks. In Aristophanes’ play “Lysistrata,” when Myrrhine withholds sex from her husband Cinesias as a ploy to try and stop a war, audiences of the time laughed at her delay tactics.

When it’s happening in real life, whatever the reason, it’s anything but funny. Except in retrospect, of course… That is to say, “someday, you’ll look back and laugh.” I don’t know if “someday” has arrived yet…

The other night, performing painstaking research (I have a very hard job!) for my two-part series on how to make your own porn, everything that could have broken, did. First, we realized the camera’s memory card was loaded up—with baby pictures of all things! My husband was ready with a second card, fortunately. Of course, it took some time to get the camera connected to the tripod, and the tripod positioned in front of the couch.

Then, the camera batteries decided they’d had it. We fumbled around the house looking for two AAs (batteries, I mean… I haven’t seen Double-A cups since junior high). We found the last two fresh batteries in our storage closet. So the camera had to come off the tripod while we re-loaded, and then we had to re-attach it. Now I was getting edgy and just bordering on frustrated, knowing we still had a few minutes (at least) of shooting before we’d get to the actual act.

Then we needed more light. Hubby pulled out a heavy-duty Craftsman flashlight, but that, too, had a dead battery. He replaced it quickly, and gave me a quick kiss and a wink, imploring me silently to have patience. I set myself up on the edge of the couch. With the glaring light… well, it was anything but romantic.

With lights dimmed, we started on phase one of the video—masturbation. He handed me a vibe. A nice, blue 7-inch cock-shaped Doc Johnson with three vibrating speeds. I rubbed it against my clit then turned it on. Or tried to. That’s right. More dead batteries. We stole the batteries from our television remote control, but the vibrator still didn’t work. I’ve had this toy for many years. Let’s just say we’ve put it through the paces.

Knowing my favorite toy had just given its last buzz, my “fuck- me-now” mood vanished. I pulled my partner in close for a deep kiss. “Let’s save the video for another night and just make love,” I said, taking a completely different tact to rekindle my feelings. Sometimes getting creative just doesn’t work and you’re better off relying on the old standards!

And now I have something else to look forward to. The demise of my “go-to” vibe means I get to shop for a replacement. I know exactly what I’m going to buy. The famous Aphrodite, complete with three attachments for every mood (you can even use this toy for all-over body massages!) and (best of all) a 110-volt AC battery charger with rechargeable batteries included. I guess my mention of the Aphrodite brings us full circle to Greek literature references. It’s time to stop reading (for now, of course) and shop!

Here are a few more AC-powered or rechargeable vibes that let you get right to the fun stuff without worries.

Slimline g-spot – This slimline g-spot vibe can’t get any more convenient with one-hand push button operation and a 110/120-volt AC-powered charger.

Lelo GIGI -  If you’re looking for g-spot luxury, we love the Lelo GIGI. Rechargeable batteries offer 1.5 hours of pleasure.

Playpal – If you’re looking for a heated, rechargeable vibrating massager and you’re watching your wallet, check out the Playpal for under $30. It’s waterproof, too!

Inside the Adult Entertainment Expo

Every year, members of the adult entertainment industry gather to share information, debut new products and do business at a large convention. The 2009 AVN Adult Entertainment Expo (presented by AVN magazine, the premier trade magazine of the adult entertainment industry) took place January 8 – 11 at the Sands Expo Center in Las Vegas, Nevada.

As in years past, the largest gathering of the adult entertainment industry coincided with the largest gathering for tech enthusiasts—the Consumer Electronics Show (CES). As CES wrapped up on Friday, the AVN show began… and in the same venue, no less.

Actually, it’s no coincidence, as the AAE used to be part of the CES — appropriate when you consider all the new technologies that enhance adult entertainment. Some people even say the porn industry drives new technology, using the VHS v. Betamax battle of the 80s as a prime example.

With 350 exhibitors packed into two large exhibit halls at the AAE, there was plenty to see for industry members and fans alike. The show is open to trade and media only on Thursday and Friday, and to fans, enthusiasts and curious onlookers over the weekend. A series of panels for fans educated attendees on everything from using sex toys to joining the industry as a producer, director—even a star!

Of course, a highlight of the show each year is the live talent signing autographs for fans. Sasha Grey and Jesse Jane of Digital Playground’s Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenge were onhand, along with Tera Patrick, Eva Angelina and, oh, about 250 other sexy performers, male and female.

The AAE and Las Vegas was also home to the 2009 AVN Awards, hosted by Belladonna and Jenna Haze. Click here to see a complete list of this year’s winners in every category of porn.

Various sources mentioned a slow-down of business this year due to the economy, with some major companies scaling down their presence and some smaller companies skipping the show altogether. The AVN reported an 18 percent drop in exhibitor attendance, according to this article on Variety.com.

Mind you, there wasn’t enough of a drop to require a government bailout or anything, but according to some observers, giveaways were also scarce this year.

The adult toy industry, however, continues to thrive, with many manufacturers and retailers filling the exhibit hall with all manner of dildos, vibes, battery-operated or hand-powered devices.

We talked about hot technology products available here at Vibrator.com in this post. This year, the buzz (so to speak) on the show floor at the AAE centered around products like the Real Touch, a life-like masturbator (complete with that warm, moist feeling) synced with a video. The ohMiBod, a wireless vibe that hooks up to your MP3 and pulsates in rhythm with your choice of tunes, continues to evoke oohs and aahs. More lifelike images (and feelings); music, music, music; and a more customized, realistic experience are the trends in porn toys this year.

As far as visual quality, however, most of the manufacturers are moving away from HD. The trend seems to be toward convenience over quality, with movies from Digital Playground and other major production companies available for download on the iPhone or iPod Touch. (Hmm… downloading adult vids to your Touch gives whole new meaning to the name of that handy device!) This, in spite of the fact that Apple remains steadfast in not allowing porn apps for the iPhone / iPod… Porn on the go? On demand? With or without Apple’s blessing, people will find a way.

Speaking of visuals, what’s a write-up of the AAE without pix, right? Here are some places to find all the T&A and famous faces you may have missed. With the Internet at our fingertips, who says anything has to “stay in Vegas?”

http://www.lasvegasvegas.com/2009/01/avn_2009_las_vegas_adult_enter.php
http://g4tv.com/attackoftheshow/blog/post/692668/Pictures-From-AEE-2009.html

For more information about the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo or to look into attending next year’s show at the Sands Expo Center January 7 – 10, 2010, go to www.adultentertainmentexpo.com.

How to Make a Porno, Part 2

In a previous post, How to Make a Porno, Part 1, we covered what you need to put together your own X-rated masterpiece. This post will talk about camera angles, video editing, and what to do with your porn once it’s produced.

You’re ready to film! The most important thing to remember is to relax. You can forget the camera’s there if it will make you feel better, or you might want to ham it up and peer seductively at the lens for an uber-sexy shot. Don’t forget to striptease for the camera. Shoes, if they are sexy stilettos, can stay on for the duration of the scene.

Some shots are a standard in most porno flicks. You may want to include some (or all) of these:

Close-up of penetration – For a really sexy view, have the woman place one leg on a sofa, and then hold the camera down below, pointing upward.

Masturbation shots – These are even hotter when they take place during penetration. Try different angles to get the best view.

Spanking – Mild BDSM, including spanking or simple restraints, gives your video that naughty, “more than vanilla” feel.

Don’t forget to pan up to capture facial expressions, especially when she cums.

Cum shots – You can’t go wrong with a facial. Or a nice, dripping wet cream pie. Another favorite is to cum on her tits and then have her rub it all over herself, and letting her pause to lick her fingers. These final moments can put your amateur film over-the-top, so to speak, so you’ll want to make sure it’s a moment to remember. Take a few minutes before you start your film to discuss and decide how you want it to end.

To keep it interesting, remember to switch positions and camera angles often. No one (probably not even the movie-makers) wants to watch two people banging in missionary position for 20 minutes.

If you have basic video editing software, you can keep the best scenes and toss the ones you don’t like, or cut any scene that goes too long. You can also use editing software to cut from scene to scene, avoiding any on-screen panning and zooming, which can make some viewers dizzy or ill. But by leaving in all the transitions, you’ll give your movie a homemade “Cloverfield” feel.

You can also play around with lighting for some cool effects, or go for a darker look, perhaps with faces in the shadows.

Now that you’ve made your very first porno, you can think about avenues of distribution… Just kidding! The safest place for your homemade porn is a file folder buried a few levels deep on your computer’s hard drive, with some innocuous name that makes sense only to you and your partner. Or you can simply burn a DVD and keep it in the bottom of a dresser drawer.

If you decide you really want to share your work of art with the world, remember—it’s potentially very easy for people to stumble across your DVD if you post it on YouTube, even if you don’t use your name. Would you really want a co-worker to see how you spent your weekend?

Hollywood Exhibit Celebrates Mainstreaming of Porn

I’m sitting here watching Lifetime’s The Secret Lives of Women. It is about swingers. Last week’s episode focused on prostitution. In the beginning of January, G4’s Attack of the Show team covered the Adult Entertainment Expo for the second year running, showcasing products such as the Boob bong on the air during prime time. Is porn really going mainstream?

My personal and professional opinion as an astute member of the media—both mainstream and erotic? Yes. And it has been for some time.

Is this a bad thing? Not for the millions of “mainstream” men and women looking to add some excitement into their love lives. I’m sure for every couple who might shake their heads in disgust – or at least say “not for me”—if they came across the Secret Lives of Women while channel surfing one night, just as many would be intrigued. They might not be ready to place an ad on Craigslist to find another couple to play with or call up her best friend for a ménage a trois, but the idea might spark an interesting conversation about fantasies and boundaries.

The trend has been going on for quite some time. We have multiple modern-day examples. My Bare Lady, a FOX series, focused on blossoming porn stars trying to make it big. The next year, Ron Jeremy was one of the stars in The Surreal Life.

More recently, the Sex and the City movie showed full frontal male nudity and still garnered a mere “R” rating. Years before, Carrie Bradshaw made talk of Rabbit vibes acceptable at the office water cooler. And let’s face it… the Internet makes porn accessible to anyone with a computer, Internet connection, and two fingers to type “tits” or “pussy.”

But the mainstreaming of porn pre-dates reality T.V. and the Internet, and a new exhibit at the World of Wonder’s storefront gallery in L.A. drives home the point. The exhibit “All-American Porn: 25 Years of Erotic Photography from Vivid Entertainment” opens February 14 with a Valentine’s Day cocktail party from 7PM – 11PM. Guests will be able to meet Vivid Girls and also enjoy a screening of excerpts from “Deeper Throat,” Vivid’s third premium cable TV series which debuts that evening.

On February 19, a free panel discussion hosted by World of Wonder co-founder Fenton Bailey explores topics such as: How Vivid became the world’s top adult studio offered by the company’s co-founder and co-chairman Steven Hirsch; How to direct an adult movie, presented by legendary director Paul Thomas; and What it takes to be an adult superstar with inside tips from Vivid Girls.

Vivid was the first company to bring porn into the mainstream, creating adult films with high product values and turning the performers into “stars” with the creation of the Vivid Girls. Since “Ginger” starring Ginger Lynn was released in 1984, the face of porn—at least as far as adult films went—changed. Explicit images on the front of VHS tapes gave way to artful photography of gorgeous women that—you guessed it—had mainstream appeal. Years later, Vivid was the first production company to offer titles targeted to couples.

So you could say porn’s been “mainstream” for more than a quarter of a century. But  what I find so ironic is that people who enjoy sex are not—and never were—freaks! In fact, I don’t think there’s anything not mainstream about buying a vibrator or reading a sex blog.

Although I write for Vibrator.com, love shopping for sex toys, and have had a few experiences swinging, I consider myself to be pretty “mainstream.” In a lot of ways, my love for science fiction is more “fringe” than my healthy sexual appetite. (Yes, another confession from Desiree Sweet: I’m a closet Trekkie!)

As a group, Americans have always been more conservative about sex and nudity than, say, Europeans. Maybe we’re just now catching up to the rest of the world.

What do you think? Is porn getting more and more mainstream or are Americans—perhaps with the exception of Facebook—just getting less uptight?

How To Make a Porno, Part 1

Today’s technology makes it easy to become the next Jules Jordan right in your living room. Even if you don’t have a video camera with all the bells and whistles, many digital cameras have a video function that works perfectly well to shoot short movies for you and your partner (or anyone else you desire) to view later.

So what are the must-haves to make your own porno?

A camera – A small digital camera or a Web cam will do the trick.

Good lighting – Sure, you can shoot in dim light with lots of shadows, but for better quality, you’ll want a bright room with the light sources placed in front of the performers.

A room - You don’t need a fancy movie set, but a nice room with a bed or couch, and no dirty laundry or pizza boxes strewn about, can help set the scene. In my favorite homemade porno background, a porn DVD plays on a big screen TV in the corner of the room. Stay away from busy designs, such as patterned sheets; the emphasis should be on the performers.

Two people – Or just one.  Or three or more.  It’s your movie, it’s up to you.

Imagination – Go ahead, try different positions for the camera.  Shoot from different angles.  Pan in.  Zoom out. Use toys.

These are the essentials to make your own porn.  What else can help you set your sexy scenes apart?

Life is a lot easier with a tripod or a third person to hold the camera. If you’re using a tripod, a remote on/off control is a nice feature. Just make sure to frame the shot before you get into position, so you don’t get 15 minutes of captivating footage of… that spot on the carpet. You can always place the camera on a dresser if you don’t have a tripod.

If you don’t have a tripod, a cameraperson, or just a flat surface in view of the bed, take turns holding the camera. Point-of-view shots are very sexy. There’s even a whole genre of porn devoted to this style of movie.  Trade off with your partner to get both perspectives, or film the whole thing in a mirror for a great view of all participants.

If you really want to have fun, incorporate role-playing into your movie with a script of some sort. You don’t have to write it out and memorize lines. Just come up with a general plot and characters, and act out what comes naturally. Live out a fantasy you’ve always imagined, from Doctor and Nurse to Cabana Boy and Hollywood Model. Set the scene with a few lines, and then move on to the main attraction. Visit a past post for more tips on role-playing fun.

The best movies are made even better with a good soundtrack. Play your favorite tunes in the background, or add music later. Anything with a good, pounding beat works best. You can give your movie that home-made, rough-cut feel with no music, and that’s okay, too. Fill the silence with moans, groans and dirty talk!

Stay tuned for tips on how to create, edit and store your homemade porn.

Porn Industry Seeks Bailout

It’s so incredible I wonder if they’re actually serious. Larry Flynt of Hustler and Joe Francis, creator of the Girls Gone Wild DVD franchise, are seeking a government bailout for the porn industry. Really.

According to an report posted on TMZ and picked up by The Huffington Post, (among other sites) the adult entertainment moguls are heading out to Washington D.C. seeking $5 billion to insure the future of porn.

The rationale behind the plea, according to an article by the AFP, is that the limp economy is presumably making Americans too depressed to have sex. The $12 billion industry isn’t going anywhere, according to Flynt and Francis, “…but why take chances?”

However, the evidence for a bailout isn’t all that compelling. The pair can’t even get their argument straight. In one breath, Francis says, “”In difficult economic times, Americans turn to entertainment for relief… More and more, the kind of entertainment they turn to is adult entertainment.”

Flynt, however, follows up with: “With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the furthest thing from their mind.”

Granted, politics and economics aren’t my strong suits, but am I missing something here?

Not to say that the government would even entertain the notion, so to speak, of a porn industry bailout, but it shows the slippery slope the bailout has sent the country spiraling down. Where do we draw the line? How many industries should enjoy this large-scale corporate welfare?

Will it end when the government begins printing money like mad to cover our debts, further devaluing the dollar and creating runaway inflation so bad that we’ll be wheeling a barrel of money to the drugstore to buy a box of condoms? Maybe that’s a worst case scenario, but, according to many experts, a plausible outcome.

Doom and gloom predictions aside, the bailout may not work and GM and Chrysler may be out of business before the spring thaw, anyway. Ford, if it survives, may look totally different as a company by this time next year. (Think luxury, niche sports cars and heavy-duty trucks).

But back to the desired porn industry bailout… There’s one other small point Francis seems to conveniently forget: Sex is free. (Financially speaking, that is). Well, unless you’re not careful — then it could cost you as much as $250,000 over the next 18 years. Plus college costs. But I digress once again…

Far be it for a blogger at a site that sells adult toys to admit you don’t really need these accoutrements for a happy and fulfilling sex life, but we have to admit it’s true. I don’t know anyone who could honestly claim that porn is a necessity of life. Nonetheless, if I was forced to part with either my Toyota or my Pocket Rocket…. Let’s just say I’d be riding my bicycle a lot more.

Sarah Palin Porn Parody Gets Political

As Hollywood execs ponder a television career for Sarah Palin after she leaves politics, Hustler founder Larry Flynt is one step ahead of them—sort of.

Capitalizing on Palin’s “love her or hate her” popularity of the minute, Hustler has produced a DVD porn parody starring Triple X starlet Lisa Ann as the VP candidate. The movie explores Palin’s platform on foreign affairs—that is, she hooks up with two Russian dudes. Babble.com posted a sneak preview of the flick.

Buzz began about the video when a “major adult studio” in Los Angeles placed an ad on Craigslist seeking one lucky MILF to star as Palin in a XXX film. The ad specified “no anal required,” just in case you were wondering, although later reports mentioned the Russians coming in the back door.

The ad prompted the clever folks at Videogum to ask their readers to “Name the Upcoming Sarah Palin Porno”, because every good porno (and even the bad ones, I guess) needs a cool, catchy, and pun-ny title. Bloggers and readers everywhere piped in with their top picks. Everything using some version of Im-palin has been taken, so don’t even bother. Some of the more creative suggestions?

“Raising McCain”;

The subtitle makes this one: “Impalin’ Palin 2: Journey Into The Alaskan Pipeline”;

For an international flavor with a hot Asian co-star: “Erection Day 2008”;

Two of my personal favorites: “2^nd in Charge Likes ‘Em LARGE,” and “Specs Appeal: Oral Office Edition”;

And yes, several people came up with a variation on the eventual winner, “Nailin’ Palin.”

While you’re waiting anxiously for the actual vid, TMZ posted a copy of the entire script of  “Who’s Nailin Paylin: Adventures of a Hockey MILF”. Sex expert Nina Hartley reportedly will star as Hillary Clinton and engage in a three-way with Lisa Ann and a Condoleeza Rice look-alike.

Is anyone else just really excited for November 4 to be here and gone?

Exhibitionists on Xtube

Have you ever wasted hours of your life on Myspace or Facebook and wanted those hours back? Well then I might recommend NOT visiting web 2.0 sex networking sites like Xtube.com or Pornotube.com (see a previous blog post for the full list). Sites like these have the propensity to suck away thousands of minutes of the lives of young voyeurs like myself. The sheer selection of what one can search for and successfully find is astounding and almost a hindrance at an otherwise productive evening. The work of a voyeur is never done when sitting at the virtual telescope into countless bedroom windows.

Xtube has taught me some new sexual terms and interests that I was unaware of previously. “Whipped cream pie” is one of them. (I am actually still not sure what it means.) My conversational Spanish and French has greatly improved, as well. Still, I am not convinced that, as a voyeur, I’m making good use of my time on Xtube. Exhibitionists have a better deal.

You like it gay or straight? Sure, whatever. Interested in seeing a girl who has tattoos that encircle both of her breasts suck off two guys at once? Yeah, I’m into that, I guess. Have you seen “lingerieboy’s” most recent jerk off video? Like, who hasn’t?! Only a small percentage of videos on Xtube are of commercial porn, leaving the rest to be produced by horny guys and girls on private cams. This is the obvious choice for the countless exhibitionists of the world, but how can a voyeur like me find the time to spy in on everyone?! It’s just not possible.

So where does this leave me? Searching for keywords (like “whipped cream pie”, of course) and quietly subscribing my photo-less profile to receive notifications when my favorite “stars” update their arsenal of homemade treats for my viewing pleasure. Would it be easier and less time-consuming to buy a cam and become an exhibitionist myself? Maybe. But where’s the fun in that?

iphone for uporn?

No one will deny that the iPhone is definitely a sexy phone. Reports from the AVN’s in Las Vegas say it’s the perfect vehicle for bringing mobile
porn to Americans…

It looks like 2008 is going to be the year that pornography breaks through to the mobile user, thanks to new deals and advanced devices like the iPhone, said from a director of adult content firm Digital Playground.

Digital Playground said “Yes, it’s happening,” and they are already delivering its porn in customized form to the iPhone; their site even auto-detects whether iPhone users are on Wi-Fi or EDGE.

“Phones are changing,” with real Web browsers, streaming video and high-quality graphics. Today’s phones are ready for porn and the iPhone is the best platform out there so far.

Online video isn’t the only way the iPhone is getting sexy. At the AVN show, OhMiBod announced a new version of their iPod-connected vibrator – this one specifically for the iPhone. The new OhMiBod “NaughtiNano” line connects to iPhones to vibrate not only to the rhythms of music playing, but to the cadences of speech on the other end of a phone call.
Apple has made the iPhone so beautifully simple, that if the adult video world can harness that simplicity they too will prosper

Apple had no comment on the iPhone’s erotic allure.

I don’t have an iphone yet but if reports like this keep surfacing I may make a run forest run dash to pick one up.