Trust me, the decision to move back home to moms at my age was a well thought out one—at least I thought. Financially it doesn’t get better than this. I hate cooking for myself and my mom likes cooking for herself, so she throws in some extra and voila—I have dinner! Also, laundry is a shared responsibility and since she mistrusts my methods of washing; she prefers to do it all herself—bonus for me! There are some other traits and skills that come from being a mom. For instance she can’t tell me if my perfume smells good or not, but she can smell something burning from ten floors down. Moms also have that perma-callaus that allow them to pick up hot coffee pots without having to search through the mass of doilies for a pot holder. And now one that I had forgotten about until couple nights ago: super freaky hearing! You can ask her a question a hundred times and she won’t hear you (selective hearing). I can play my music quite loud and it doesn’t seem to ruffle her feathers whatsoever. I can also slam doors in the middle of the night and she won’t wake up, but when there is a sound that is out of the ordinary for this household, no matter how faint—she’s on it right away. Example; I am a woman in my sexual prime (have been for years now!). I also happen to not be seeing anybody in that capacity right now. I also have written sex toy reviews for several distributors and have a vast collection—some items of which make up my current love life! Thanks to my vast selection, I do have a couple of small and ultra discreet vibes that are unusually quiet. The buzz is so faint that you wonder if it’s even on, but, leave it to my mom to hear it. Oh yes my friends! On comes the faint almost non-existent buzzing and into the bedroom comes mom; “What’s that noise?? Do you hear that?? Is something broken? That buzzing is driving me crazy….

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