So I have a friend that applied for this great job. He went on the first interview. And things went well. Then got called in for a second interview. He told me he was nervous as hell and he felt like he was supporting his local pharmacy with the purchases of that nice smelling cologne and plenty of rite guard.

Then he was told he was hired but that he needed to take a drug test first.

So now what was he going to do?

You see smoking a little bit of weed to relax yourself after a stressful day never hurt anybody, my friend was telling me, until you find out that you need to take a drug test…..who would of thought that you would have had to take one these things, he said. He thought that was only for the high net white collar worker not him. Anything but the truth.

So he picked up phone and start talking with a couple of friends about what to do and one of his friends tells him a story about a flight they took and that there was a Minnesota Vikings player who got stopped getting on the plane. Now when they went through this players luggage low and behold what did they find?

They found this device called the whizzinator.

Now what the hell is the whizzinator? You see, this whizzinator is a prosthetic penis that gets strapped on you, has a reservoir so that it can store clean urine and comes with a warm water bottle to keep your clean pee at body temperature.

Now he needed to take this drug test in two days and he had smoked yesterday so he was in dire straits. I know he really needed this job. Aimless to say he asked me to help him find this whizzinator so we went looking all over town in every shop and finally found one of these whizzinators at an online store. So he purchased this whizzinator.

He also found out that they also had this thing called Lyophilized pee. It was freeze-dried clean pee!!!!! Who would of though that all this stuff was for the taking?

Well it is.

So after all this he takes the drug test and guess what, he passes the test. I’m really wondering what their going come up with next?

I really need to get out of some tickets. Anything I can strap on for that?